DH Offers Trip of a Lifetime

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Jan 22nd, 2008, 12:30 PM
  #21
 
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mebe,

just noticed your thread and read your note...

I think no one likes when we break the rules. What I mean is, some people will think that since you decided to have 3 children that you should not also get to have a wonderful trip to Italy or time for yourself.

It's sad, but sometimes family can be the least supportive in these kinds of things. I'm sure there will be those who pity your "poor" husband left alone with those 3 "poor" little helpless children while you run off for a good time. (Funny, no one ever feels sorry for the "poor" mother who takes care of the children all day while her husband gets to wear nice clothes and have adult conversations and receive a paycheck for his work!)

Our culture just assumes that mothers should sacrifice and suffer, and when they don't, people get upset.

Do you feel it's wrong to have some time for yourself? And I don't mean what do you think you should feel, I mean what do you actually feel?

Sometimes we are just products of our environment. If our mother wouldn't have done this, perhaps it's wrong...

I think once you are sure yourself you are doing the right thing you will stop worrying as much about the judgments from others.

When I was a young mother I remember reading somewhere that the most important thing you could do for your kids was to have a loving relationship with their father. If this trip gives you time to find yourself, contemplate, and appreciate your husband, than you will have done something for your whole family by taking time for yourself.

Hope this helps a bit...

I think I understand what you are going through.
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Jan 22nd, 2008, 12:50 PM
  #22
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Thanks gruezi -- that does help -- I'm not sure what I think about "any" of it because I'm so "in" it. Does that make sense?

The kids are demanding my attention!

Thanks again - that was a nice boost in the middle of my chaos!
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Jan 23rd, 2008, 06:03 AM
  #23
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DH and I read your response again last night and agreed that you nailed it. All of it. DH actually got misty eyed and said "she understands you!"

My husband is supportive, he understands, he is excited for me -- and that is what counts.

Thanks again
Myra

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Jan 23rd, 2008, 06:40 AM
  #24
 
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M,

I feel so fortunate to be of help to someone!! So thank you.

Please continue to share your thoughts here, and of course your trip as well.

I think there are lots of "solo" travelers and stay-at-home moms who can benefit from your experience.

Did I mention I spent 8 days in Rome with my daughters in June? Let me know if you need any help with the trip planning. I still owe Fodor's a trip report...I always start with the Top 10 series from Eyewitness Travel because I am a real lover of order and that gives me some structure. Then I come to Fodor's for specific questions that come up for me. The members of this forum offer a wealth of really good information on Italy.

gruezi

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Jan 23rd, 2008, 02:48 PM
  #25
 
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i have nothing to offer but wanted to say how lovely it was of your husband to offer something so personal and true. Also wanted to say, having been let down by unsupportive family before, not to worry what they think (although I know it's hard). All that matters is what you and your husband thinks. Everyone will get it in the end. Best wishes on a super great solo trip!

...I have to show this thread to my "new" (and only) husband now. Nothing wrong with setting them on the right path, is there?
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Jan 30th, 2008, 04:43 AM
  #26
 
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Wow -- good job picking a husband

With a week in Europe, I'd go for two cities. My top choice would be Paris/Amsterdam. Runners-up: Munich/Prague, Barcelona/Nice, or Venice/Rome.

Have fun!!!
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Jan 30th, 2008, 04:44 AM
  #27
 
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Oops -- I admit that I started skimming and missed that you had booked your trip. I see you went with Venice/Rome -- yay!
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Feb 21st, 2008, 01:57 PM
  #28
 
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We stayed at the Hotel Canova, on Via Urbania in January. It is right down from the train station, 1 block back from Via Cavor and a very nice location. The hotel was modestly priced 75 Euro for 2 (cash) booked over the internet on their web site. I just loved the street and felt very safe walking at night in that area.






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Feb 22nd, 2008, 12:21 PM
  #29
 
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Lucky you getting a solo trip! My husband and I love to travel, and we travel well together, but I've always wondered what it would be like to embark on a solo adventure.

I probably wouldn't do things any differently than we do now, but just to have the option to linger somewhere as long as I wanted, without worrying about the other person being ready to go, would be nice. I imagine myself getting up very early in the morning, wandering the city, then hanging out in a nice little cafe for a while. No agenda, just time to do whatever I felt like at the time.

I think my husband would be crushed if I ever told him I wanted to try out a solo trip, just as I think I'd probably respond the same way if he said it to me! That said, he travels a lot for work, so he already has had opportunities to experience places on his own and he isn't a big fan of it.

Enjoy your trip to Rome and please post a report when you return!
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Feb 23rd, 2008, 06:20 AM
  #30
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sherhatfield -- Ask your hubby. He might surprise you. I know mine did.

I secretly wanted to travel by myself for a long time. But I worried my DH would be offended or resentful if he knew I wanted to travel without him.

So I was blown away when HE suggested it. I thought, he is an amazing person, because I would NEVER let him go on HIS own -- LOL

But now that he has given me a gift of total freedom (for a week) I would reciprocate. Because daydreaming about doing WHATEVER I WANT is spectacular.

I will travel with him (and the kids) again (I think Spain in a few years) and hopefully Hubby and I can travel alone in Venice or Paris, in another few years. But I will also think about where I will go, alone. (There are many places I want to see that he has no interest in.) And I will encourage DH to do the same.

sherfatfield -- if you really want it, ask him and see what happens -- and let us know.

And I promise to write a trip report!
Myra

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Feb 26th, 2008, 01:08 PM
  #31
 
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Maybe I will bring up your post and see how he responds...
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Mar 16th, 2008, 10:02 AM
  #32
 
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Dear mebe,

Have you gone to Rome yet?

I just got back from 8 days solo in Ravenna - a Christmas gift from my husband.

I have to say, my family has been very nice to me all day.

Plus, while I was away, my husband experienced first-hand looking after his 17-year-old daughter who has a serious boyfriend... Dad had the job of discussing the sexuality issues with her while I was away...Well, I think she listens better to him than to me, and I felt like a princess floating in when all the tough work was already done.

I may go away solo again soon!

gruezi
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Mar 16th, 2008, 09:12 PM
  #33
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Hi gruzei

No I haven't left yet. My trip begins the day after Mother's Day

I've been trying to ignore the "big event." I've stopped all research, all planning, all daydreams. My mantra is "let it go -- what will happen, will happen." It's been a nice break. My plan is to load up my Ipod with language podcasts and walking tours and deal with it all on the plane.

I love that your DH got to deal with the boyfriend and the sex stuff. I wonder what issues my Hubby can solve while I'm away!

Maybe my girl will finally sleep in her own bed and my boys will be potty-trained -- now that would be a Mother's Day gift.

Is a trip report around the corner? I LOVE mosaics and would love to visit Ravenna...someday...

Mebe
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Mar 17th, 2008, 02:23 AM
  #34
 
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Mebe,

Sounds like you are mentally ready! I am a bit older than you, and a bit slow on the ipod technology. I have an ipod I've been meaning to load some books on to - maybe I could load my german cds on there as well and finally get serious about learning this language although it would be way more fun to learn Italian!!

Yes! I will write about Ravenna - probably in a few weeks as I have my kids off the next few weeks for spring break.

If you love mosaics, you must go to Ravenna. It was a fantastic experience.

I will keep my fingers crossed that your husband will have everyone using the potty and sleeping alone when you return!

gruezi

gruezi
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Apr 8th, 2008, 11:22 AM
  #35
 
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Would you consider Germany? Munich is a wonderful city and you could take train trips to the countryside and to Austria. I would love to go back to Munich, especially alone.
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Apr 8th, 2008, 11:23 AM
  #36
 
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I guess I should look at dates when I pop into a new forum!!!
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Apr 9th, 2008, 05:31 AM
  #37
 
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I hope you have a wonderful break, full of freedom and relaxation, and return home feeling rejuvenated.

The last couple of years, I've been going solo to London for a few days. Once, I took the Eurostar for an overnight in Paris too. The time away really refreshes me and makes me a better mother and wife when I come back.

There is nothing like travelling with hubby and the kids. Also, nothing like travelling with the hubby. And, nothing like travelling alone. They are all wonderful and each has it's pleasures. When going alone, I do like to go somewhere I've been before, so I feel more comfortable. Other than that, I love just doing whatever the spirit moves me!

Have fun!
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Apr 9th, 2008, 05:44 AM
  #38
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travel2girl -- I just woke up, read your response and it made me smile.

I completely agree. And I'm REALLY looking forward to my break. Only five weeks to go.....
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Apr 10th, 2008, 08:23 PM
  #39
 
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I haven't read all the posts so forgive me if this has been mentioned before.

Last year I did my first solo overseas trip (at nearly 50)and I had fantasied for so long about how it was going to be etc. To be honest it was good, more so in memory than reality. I had worked myself up into such an expectation that the reality was very different. I felt quite rudderless and wandered aimlessly around for quite a bit of the time.

My advice is, go for it, keep yourself busy, but don't imagine every minute and how it is going to be, (all that freedom yay etc) or you may come a cropper. Relax and enjoy what comes, and don't worry if you feel a little homesick, that of course will be natural. Just don't set yourself up for disappointment. But then again I am not a relaxed type person normally, hopefully you are and can just go with flow.

Enjoy every minute, take lots of photos, every pleasure will be doubled after a few months of being back home. Safe journey,
Schnauzer
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