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Up at the Kotij (a covid cottage TR)

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Up at the Kotij (a covid cottage TR)

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Old Sep 28th, 2021, 11:10 AM
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Up at the Kotij (a covid cottage TR)

With great relief due to being double-vacced, I was finally able to accept the latest invite to join my dear friends at one of their cottages. We went this past week. I'd turned down similar invites this past February (see 'ice fishing and snowmobiles') and also this recent summer (see 'internal squabbling that resulted in my friends no longer speaking').

Place: a remote road directly across from Killbear Provincial Park. 'Beautiful' is a tired word, but boy does it ever still apply to this Georgian Bay area.
Time: Fall, turning leaves and all that.
Cast of characters: 'da BOYZ i.e. my good friend Tom the hard-working cottage owner, my good friend Dave (*yes Inaka, THAT Dave), myself plus their 2 dogs: Dave's aged white poodle 'T-bone' and Tom's adorable 7 month old pup 'Beau', hands-down the undisputed Star of the Show. Our mutual friend and normal-attendee, Jerry, was absent for this visit.

We always shop at a few select stops on the way up. At 'Johnstone's Sweet Corn Farm' near Coldwater, we always stock up on freshly-picked produce plus home-made pies. They also sell their own jams, chutneys, relishes and honey. The farm has acres of sunflowers as well as llamas and donkeys. Such an old-time atmosphere there by the old barn, like a relic from a different age. This trip we purchased a jar of pickles that turned out to be waaaay too young. I always joke with the Johnstones that I am the 'parole officer' for the rest of my miscreant friends, and so now the farmer couple sometimes ask with a wink 'when are they due back?' (at the prison). *Note to Tom & Dave: see if I ever buy freshly-made apple sauce or brussel sprouts ever again, you two picky eaters. Note that the nearby town of Coldwater once gave name to a local 70s rock band called 'A Foot in Coldwater'. Maybe you've heard their international hit, 'Make me do anything you want'?

Tom is justifiably proud of his new cottage. He created the blueprints himself, recycled parts from his old cottage that til recently sat on the same site (an original homestead dating back to the 60s) and oversaw the crew with every detail. And what a result. His acreage has a modest strip of sand for beachy volleyball, swimming and such. His property also has many trees. The magical whoosh sound which the wind makes going through the pines, spruce, tamarack and beech is music to the ears, especially for an urbanite, enhanced with some iconic loon calls atop a crackling bonfire.

The impossibly-perky pup Beau and I met there at the cottage for the first time. He is a mix Jack Russell terrier & Australian sheepdog, a long black n' white tube composed mostly of huge ears, upright tail and penis. He was very interested in watching me pee. He and I had an ongoing series of conversations, the grizzled elder and the inquisitive young pup.

"REALLY!? They gots rattlers over there?!" Beau was asking me to clarify whether venomous snakes still existed in the park. I replied that the rattlers were all gone. The park's endless isles comprise the planet's largest freshwater archipelago and are still home to turtles, other harmless snake species plus a wide range of birds. No more rattlers and no more bears. Campers, sailors and cyclists are safe among the rocky ridges, the windswept pines and granite slopes.

Things We Missed This Visit:
-our annual boat ride to remote Huckleberry isle for a burger BBQ; one year there we chanced across a boatload of nudists; another summer there, a downcast 6 yr old boy who traipsed past us with an empty pail after unsuccessful fishing with his dad, turned to us suddenly with a shrug, "(Oh well) That's fishing!"
-a boat ride to Henry's, a popular local fish n' chips restaurant (with a complete monopoly over the entire area) that doubles as a seaport/heliport; the seaplanes landing there are a rare sight for most of us; one year a hilariously confusing conversation occurred after one of us confused this Henry's with a similarly-named camera shop back in Toronto!
-swimming (it rained a lot and it was late in the season).

end part one

Last edited by zebec; Sep 28th, 2021 at 11:17 AM.
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Old Sep 28th, 2021, 11:22 AM
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The above-mentioned Can-Rock Classic. We used to do a decent cover of this while touring Quebec and Ontario.
I am done. the end.
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Old Sep 28th, 2021, 12:58 PM
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Excellent! Appetite whetted, I hope there are a few pictures too! Whispering pines, Beau…headshot only please. 🤣
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Old Sep 28th, 2021, 01:31 PM
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Wonderful start, zman, but methinks the bawdy high jinks of yesteryear were not repeated. We shall see!
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Old Sep 28th, 2021, 02:36 PM
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Originally Posted by OO
... Beau…headshot only please. 🤣
Good point.

Keep it coming, zebec.
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Old Sep 28th, 2021, 05:10 PM
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Ahhh! The whimsical memories of a garage band munching on chutney, jams, relishes in the land of honey, between sets, on tour.

Forget lions and tigers and bears. Now it's sunflowers, llamas, my arse.

Carryon
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Old Sep 29th, 2021, 08:55 AM
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Things That We Missed (cont.)

-an ISS sighting. We stargazed but there was a lot of overcast weather. Last time, Dave used an app that tracked the space station. The app was accurate to the minute and we'd all watched in awe as the ISS arced directly over our little bay.
*poster 'muskoka', do you folks ever see it over by Algonquin park? (note that Muskoka is also the name of a very high-profile cottage district to the east of where we were).


"REALLY?! Bette Midler?!"
(sound of jeans zipper being zipped back up)

Beau was asking me about our musical tastes, which especially this time, felt like a friendly competition to determine 'he who had the most eclectic musical tastes.' The following were selected on a cell phone using Bluetooth to come out of the modern speakers above the new *Quebecois-made fireplace. "Look Bo-bo," I responded, "There's all kinds of excellent music out there for the adventurous cottager." We played:

-Bette Midler medley--easy to overlook just how great her pipes are!
-Rachid Taha medley--the late undisputed champ of 'rai' Algerian rock.
-John Prine--the late folkie with the great lyrics.
-an assortment of southern rock including our 'PJA1's old pals 'Molly Hatchett.'
-a long and loud variety of our local heros Rush, both live and studio. Still mourning their late drummer Peart. Note that all 3 members wazzam (was and some still are) serious travelers, with Peart writing numerous travel books.
-another local rocker has his cottage nearby: Tom Cochrane ('Life is a Highway'). if his seaplane is visible parked out front, it means that he is home. Tom and our band once shared the same producer.

Fun Stuff that more than made up for those above missed activities:

A-off-road ATV trails. I wore a helmet and everything. On the Suzuki 4x4, we barreled across what was once an old road, from back in the days of Model Ts. One could see a few dissembled 'cribs', those (cut) stone-and-timber holders made a century ago to contain telephone poles. It blew my mind to see that the rugged granite slopes throughout were actually travelled over! There were swollen streams, lots of lichen and gnarly fallen trees. The traditional trail-end had been blocked by a new property owner who is setting up some sort of remote Boxing Club. He has already installed a few pre-fab mini-cottages with loft atop.

The old hunters hide showed a norm imported by American hunters. The massive tree that they'd once built their hide-platform on, had a much younger sapling growing directly against it, a necessary extra grasp while using the slats up and down.
*Starrs, you recently posted about coincidences, well how about this one? On the ride back to the kotij, we passed several of Tom's more distant neighbours, each with their own family name sign out at the end of their driveway. I'd just been thinking of Bowie's terrific travel song 'Move On'. We then passed one neighbour with the largest sign of all, a family named the 'BOWEYS'!

B- we also hiked along the deep forest trails bordered by the countless stones and boulders once set by a local Good Samaritan cottager decades ago. He created pro-grade signage and the various trails had names like 'Where angels fear to tread' and 'Millie's Trail' (betcha Millie was his granddaughter). Not far removed in feel from say, Tofino's trails over on Vancouver isle.

Interesting fact that will only mean anything to Canucks:

The well-known alcoholic beverage-prodcuers family Gooderham-Worts have a private island not far off, named Mary islet.


*Tom had been committed to buying a Napoleon-brand top of the line fireplace, til discovering (here Canucks may want to look away) that the company had recently sold out to a Chinese firm.

end part two

Last edited by zebec; Sep 29th, 2021 at 09:51 AM.
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Old Sep 29th, 2021, 09:10 AM
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The above-mentioned 'Move On', an excellent Bowie travel number----as you've never seen it before. Enjoy.
I am done. the re-imagined visuals
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Old Sep 29th, 2021, 10:00 AM
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I am done. the hiway
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Old Sep 30th, 2021, 11:58 AM
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And so our final installment, part three.

Meals that stood out
Hell, all our meals tend to be memorable. But here is one example of the efforts put into creating a great dinner: smoked ribs. Tom has a newish smoker, a roundish affair that one may leave on for hours to produce culinary excellence. We paired it with some of the aforementioned Johnstone's fresh-picked corn and some mashed yams that Dave was responsible for making. Dave also made a fresh salad. Sadly, those two misguided diners had the day before rejected my (sound of trumpets) magnificent SPIKE herbal seasoning when we were preparing salmon. They did however, go for the Inglehoffer creamy mustard that I'd also brought. In honour of that mild mustard, jah unt I spoke wiz a Cher-moon accent for the next five minutes.
I also made breakfast for us all, using Tom's industrial-strength NINJA-brand blender. The morning mix was peaches, honey, milk and Bolthouse-brand coffee soy drink.

I'd bought a trio of worthy wine splurges to share earlier on our way up, shopping as we always do, at the Parry Sound town LCBO, a government-controlled booze shop/monopoly. Our band once played Parry Sound back in the 70s. Small place. We'd once gone to the Parry Sound Public Library only to find that they'd already loaned their book out.

Wines:
-a 'Trius' red--arguably the best produced in Canada.
-a Beringer Cab from Cali.
-a 2014 Rioja whose name escapes.
Dave & Tom like their beer: Moretti, Lowenbrau and many more.

"REALLY? You humans never chew on bones, like ever?!! What the cat is wrong with you all, did yer moms drop you on yer heads when you were pups or what? And yet you drink that fermented grape juice?!"
Beau was expressing his deep shock that we humans do not find leftover bones to be chew-worthy or of much further usage after mealtime.

BAWDY HIJINKS SECTION
DCD has above referenced our past kotij indiscretions. Unfortunately, since our mass conversion to a certain Eastern mystical religion (I am forbidden from mentioning it by name) we no longer engage in that sort of inappropriate behaviour. We did however, receive a long-distance call while at the Kotij, from one of the Kopenen brothers. He was calling from a remote rainforest in northern BC (British Columbia), where he is currently employed tagging grizzlies. The Kopenens were a large Scandinavian family who set down roots with their own nearby kotij way back during the 60s. Whenever hearing mention of their name, I grin a wide grin. Trust me when I tell you, that no group of fine young men ever matched those boys (and Tom) for Bawdy Hijinks. Much of their Greatest Hits are unprintable. Think the TV series 'Jackass'.

There was actually one quasi-bawdy phrase repeated once or twice, an expression apparently used during ancient Roman times. It'd been inspired by recent viewing of the decade-old TV series 'Spartacus', wherein the script writers went to great lengths to feature authentic Roman-Latin grammar, wordage and phrases: "REMOVE COCK FROM ASS!" (i.e. stop bugging me).

Useful Kotij Tips for the Visitor **please do not hesitate to add to this list below with your own ideas

-bring baked goods such as cookies and pies, wine and such
-don't wait to be asked to assist in any way
-bring a sleeping bag
-leave your room better/cleaner than it was
-if your hosts rant about well, anything, be a bit more patient than normal i.e. "Yes Tom I agree. The Bay City Rollers were a far better band than Rush."
-offer to vacuum rooms that were not the one you occupied
-do not bring sticks of dynamite
-pack big garbage bags
-pack old clothes that can be used there then utilized one final time as rags--I brought my old green Killbear park sweatshirt.
-consider bringing a novelty item that might prove entertaining for all present e.g. kites (great for kids of all ages on boats), drones, items of unique tech value, a Robin Williams highlights collection

Added Value Security Tips
If you might happen to be either a cottage owner yourself, Tom-the-Security-Expert (his firm is called 'Metalex' for its solid screen doors and windows) suggests the following tips:
-always leave a pair of size 13 construction boots, preferably plastered with mud, right outside your front door
-leave a dog leash hanging by your entry
-consider installing security cameras

Remarkable Life Story revealed During Kotij Visit

I'm gonna deviate here so as to reinforce for all that Life is not always a bowl of cherries. Tom's elderly neighbour, Gizella, finally passed last year. She'd spent most summers living alone at her close-by cottage. We all would ask if she needed anything and she'd often reminisce about her tragic past in wartime Europe. As a Ukrainian adolescent, poor Gizella had first seen her beloved father suddenly taken away by secret police one midnight, never to be seen again. Then a few years later after the Nazi invasion of the area was complete, terrified Gizella was taken away, kidnapped really, back to Germany. There, she was employed as a servant-nanny for the children of a high-ranking Nazi. Gizella was thus an eye-witness to the horrors of Dresden. She described seeing people who'd tried to traverse the city's asphalt roads during the fires, stuck trapped and unable to move as the flames crept closer.

Modern life later in Canada also held its own quotient of horrors for Gizella, ones that I wouldn't wish on anyone.

Count your blessings.

*Does anyone else have any Cottage Stories for us all to read?
cheers
I am done. the end.

Last edited by zebec; Sep 30th, 2021 at 12:50 PM.
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Old Sep 30th, 2021, 12:04 PM
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Bonus: Bo-bo

"REALLY?! OK Zebec, can I ask you a personal question? And please don't get offended. Like.....for the love of all things canine, like WHY don't you humans sniff each other's butts? I just don't get it!"

I am done. the long canine nose & the brand-new beer (think hoppy taste) just released by the Rush band

Last edited by zebec; Sep 30th, 2021 at 12:49 PM.
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Old Oct 1st, 2021, 08:25 AM
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Apologies to GTG--it was she, not Starrs, who'd posted a recent thread about coincidences.
I am done. the erroneous poster
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Old Oct 2nd, 2021, 04:41 PM
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zebec, I agree that Killbear is a beautiful area. We have friends who live north of Parry Sound in a beautiful log cabin.

To answer your question, yes, we saw the ISS while sitting in a canoe (with a flashlight handy) on several occasions. All those nights sitting out there were memorable until neighbours across the narrow part of the lake installed high-intensity exterior lights on their new cottage because one of them was afraid of the dark. Ugh.

I like the idea of the size 13 muddy construction boots outside the door.

Are you sure all the rattlers have left the building?...
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Old Oct 3rd, 2021, 11:03 AM
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Muskoka, just an hour ago on our walk, we chanced across the pro photographer gal who lives at the end of our street: Virginia MacDonald. She's done the En Route mag, plus LCBO promo and lots more. And she was just this past week shooting north of Parry Sound, a session with her crew for an ongoing client, a local cottage builder.
I recall your mention of how such ugh-worthy cottage norms had driven the two of you out of the area in search of more eco-friendly locales.

As for rattlers, no I am not sure, just repeating what locals told me.

I am done. the muddy boots
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Old Oct 4th, 2021, 08:34 PM
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Your recall is very good; yes, with the advent of land undeveloped for centuries and released by the Province finally falling to the highest bidder, the area became, at least IMO, spoiled. If someone wants to transport all the conveniences of the city to the lake, then there is a trade-off: no starry nights to be seen, silence ripped by helicopters ferrying the very wealthy to their helipads on their cottage roofs, granite kitchen islands the size of Delaware, 6 bedrooms all requiring cleaning staff, etc. One of the places built about 3/4 mile across from us had a stone mason brought in from England to point the cottage's exterior. Tap, tap, tap all day. The workout structure (for the hockey player who owned it) was the size of a regular cottage.

Our Muskoka cottage, which was handed down from generation-to-generation was the perfect retreat: large stone fireplace, pine floors that creaked, beautiful wood walls, Muskoka Room, stone pathways and steps to the water, antique furniture. The one we had built for us in Eastern Ontario incorporated some of the features we had grown to love such as the stone paths, which my DH created, an enclosed porch lined with pine - that sort of thing. And it's quiet out there.
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