Mastering French manners, the hard way
Dec 24th, 2006, 05:33 AM
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Mastering French manners, the hard way
"It joins Nadine de Rothschild's best-selling bible of politeness in offering advice to those in need of guidance on how to behave in that oxymoron, "polite French society".
Marvelous! A must read
http://tinyurl.com/ygd2nd
Marvelous! A must read
http://tinyurl.com/ygd2nd
Dec 24th, 2006, 05:10 PM
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Too silly by half. She has to exaggerate for effect, that is her job. Would she really grab the bottle and pour herself a glass at a rather refined dinner table in England? Come on - this wasn't a jolly pub.
And if she hadn't done any homework on how the rest of the world does things and really didn't know about the difference in customs, like keeping her hands above the table, didn't she see in the first minute or two how everybody at the table did it? Was she already blotto from too many drinks before dinner and not keeping a cool head?
She sounds totally not lady-like, in any culture, more like an insensitive, pushy, clueless person - from the tone she takes I can just hear her, talking louder than is good manners, carrying on, lacking restraint and reticence on someone else's turf.
No wonder she was given the cold shoulder - you get back what you give out.
This is reporting of the cheap-effect kind, playing into commonplace but oh-so-tired stereotypes - not worth taking seriously.
And if she hadn't done any homework on how the rest of the world does things and really didn't know about the difference in customs, like keeping her hands above the table, didn't she see in the first minute or two how everybody at the table did it? Was she already blotto from too many drinks before dinner and not keeping a cool head?
She sounds totally not lady-like, in any culture, more like an insensitive, pushy, clueless person - from the tone she takes I can just hear her, talking louder than is good manners, carrying on, lacking restraint and reticence on someone else's turf.
No wonder she was given the cold shoulder - you get back what you give out.
This is reporting of the cheap-effect kind, playing into commonplace but oh-so-tired stereotypes - not worth taking seriously.
Dec 24th, 2006, 05:32 PM
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At my first dinner party in Paris after marrying my "Practice Wife", I got the "hands above the table" treatment. These were friends of PW from when she worked at UNESCO. I was very much on trial as the "New American Husband".
Our host looked over at me, left hand firmly clamped in my Yankee lap, and asked, "What are you doing with your hand, playing with yourself?"
Stunned, I could only come back with, "No, I'm playing with your Wife!"
The table broke up, and I had passed my test. The rest of the evening went splendidly.
Our host looked over at me, left hand firmly clamped in my Yankee lap, and asked, "What are you doing with your hand, playing with yourself?"
Stunned, I could only come back with, "No, I'm playing with your Wife!"
The table broke up, and I had passed my test. The rest of the evening went splendidly.
Dec 24th, 2006, 05:54 PM
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I can't believe such vulgar, crude people exist as the "host" which nukesafe mentions. Anybody with any manners or sophistication at all who has been anywhere in the world knows this is a meaningless local custom and would not make such crude comments to a guest about such a silly thing which is meaningless. I don't even believe most of these stories, to be honest, as I've heard them too many times and think they are mainly fictional takes on worn-out themes and stores that aren't even that interesting or new to most people.
Dec 24th, 2006, 06:43 PM
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True story, Christina.
Unusual situation, in that these folks had worked at the UN with PW for years before I appeared and stole her away. I was the American who didn't speak much French - not nearly good enough for their friend. They were typical elitist UNESCO functionaires of that period, (mid 1960's) who really detested upity Yanks.
My retort silenced the boorish host, and got most of the others on my side, so all was not lost. It ended as a memorable evening.
I must say that French mores have changed since then. Being invited to a French collegues' home was almost unheard of at that time, and manners were much more formal than they are today. I have almost never been the subject of discourtesy in France since then -- except for the French Bargees (commercial canal barge skippers) who brook no nonsense from pleasure boaters who are too stupid to get out of their way. Their language can strip paint a 40 paces.
Unusual situation, in that these folks had worked at the UN with PW for years before I appeared and stole her away. I was the American who didn't speak much French - not nearly good enough for their friend. They were typical elitist UNESCO functionaires of that period, (mid 1960's) who really detested upity Yanks.
My retort silenced the boorish host, and got most of the others on my side, so all was not lost. It ended as a memorable evening.
I must say that French mores have changed since then. Being invited to a French collegues' home was almost unheard of at that time, and manners were much more formal than they are today. I have almost never been the subject of discourtesy in France since then -- except for the French Bargees (commercial canal barge skippers) who brook no nonsense from pleasure boaters who are too stupid to get out of their way. Their language can strip paint a 40 paces.
