10 week road trip with 3 month old baby
 

Hi all - I've had some fantastic advice in the past on these forums and this is a totally different topic with big life changes coming!

We are expecting our first child in December. We are thinking about taking some time out during my wife's maternity leave to go away for 2-3 months travelling when our baby would be 3-4 months old. Destination would either be US/Canada or Australia. We live in the UK. We've been reading some blogs and articles from people who've done it but still worry a little we are being completely mad and maybe irresponsible.

This wouldn't be backpacking. We would most likely hire a big camper van / RV for the duration so we can keep a good routine, have a kitchen etc to make it somewhat easier although very aware this will be a bit challenge. We would also be looking to plan a route where baby's need are absolute priority, near ish to hospitals for any emergencies, moe outdoors / nature locations than cities for hikes etc so potentially west coast US April - June 2017.

Does anyone have any advice / thoughts please? Has anyone done a similar trip? Is this completely crazy? (Answer may be yes but all advice welcome)

Thanks in advance

Yes this is crazy. You gave me permission.

I'm not in HR, but isn't maternity leave usually taken directly after the birth of the child. I can't believe that they would allow her to return to work and then cash in on her maternity leave policy to take a trip 3 or 4 months later.

I don't know if it would be irresponsible, but you are certainly trying to cash in on a possible loop hole on what maternity leave is supposed to be.

Some considerations:
December is winter in most of the US, including the west. Snow is possible in some more mountainous areas, including scenic national parks. At best, it is not warm. If you don't have experience with an RV in snow, especially a long one, your route might be somewhat limited. An RV of that size is difficult in any city (although you say you would avoid cities).You cannot just park anywhere (in most cases/places); you must find an RV park which usually costs money. Also, one way drop off fees for vehicles, including cars and RVs, can be steep.

The impression I get from reading these travel forums is that Australia is more suited to this type of casual RV adventure.

>>I can't believe that they would allow her to return to work and then cash in on her maternity leave policy to take a trip 3 or 4 months later.<<

Where would you get an idea like that? Maternity/Paternity leave is VERY generous/flexible in may countries. Some get a full year and can do any darn thing they want w/ it.

>> December is winter in most of the US<<

They would not be traveling in Dec. The baby is due (congratulations BTW) in Dec and they plan on traveling 3 or 4 months later.

elijahmo: Whether this is a good idea or not depends in large part on where you are traveling. You only tagged your thread for California -- so is that where you want to tour -- or to other regions too?

But in general, an RV will be very inconvenient in most cities. You indicate mostly rural bits -- but if you want to include San Francisco or Seattle of any others - that is a consideration. Also can be difficult in the mountains. Have you driven an RV before? One thing to consider -- many MANY US hotels/motels have kitchens/kitchenettes so it is easy to keep a 'good routine'.

But yes, April - June would likely be the best time of year for an RV journey.

Thanks for the responses so far. Also thanks janisj for picking up the details of my questions.

We may be getting into the differences of maternity leave policies across different countries which wasn't the purpose of this post. We live in the UK and maternity leave in the UK isnt set to what employers expect you to do with the time. I also didn't mention my wife returning to work and then going on the road trip later. She would be taking 12 months maternity leave from the birth. So not sure what you mean by cashing in so I'll leave it there on those comments.

And yes, we wouldn't be travelling in winter and I didn't say that. April - June is the timeframe.

However, I haven't ever driven an RV before. I haven't looked into routes properly yet but we would probably look to do more than California but stick to the east coast and inland from there.

I would suggest that the RV makes everything more difficult. You would be better off just to rent a car and to choose two or three places and rent a condo for several weeks to a month at a time. The condo would give you a washer/dryer which you will need and a chance to settle in somewhere.

Hawaii would be a wonderful place to do this!

12 month maternity leave? That's amazing. 3 months more then it took the poppet to get here!!! Wishing you 10 fingers and 10 toes.

You might search for RV travel forums as this place is birthing crickets and quiet nights.

Kathie - yeah good shout, thanks and that is the other idea we've been discussing actually. Again would help us keep routine and not loads of packing up and moving around. We've done very little of US west coast so loads of options. Really keen on San Francisco if we were choosing a base for a month or so.

I agree the RV could become an effort moving round lots and having a condo / apartment and less travel could be led stressful with a first child.

Thanks davidababy. 12 months isn't fully paid (depends on employer) in the UK but is available so depends on circumstances and what each new mother wants to do. I get two weeks paid paternity leave only and everything else unpaid.

RVs sound like a good idea but in much of the US - esp the east coast they don't really work. Plus the cost of rental (one way drop off charges are usually huge) plus the amount of gas that they use, plus campground fees and the highway tolls are going to be more than that of budget motels and a rental car.

Besides the fact that you can't get them into most cities (and if you want to park one near NYC the closest park is about $100 per night to park) in the east there are a lot of roads (usually called parkways) that don't allow anything bigger than a basic family car. These roads were built for family car touring in the 1920s and while they are usually ver pretty, often with rivers running along side, they have very narrow lanes, often limited shoulders, low bridges and very short on-ramps.

Strongly reco that you use a rental car and budget motels - or perhaps weekly rentals in places where they are legal - to make the trip much easier and more comfortable with anyone.

When I had babies they would fall asleep as soon as the car started moving. If you are traveling during the day you might have a baby awake all night. I think it's a good idea to limit your destinations and rent a house or condo.

I think doing a lot of traveling around is a bit crazy, especially since you want to be near good medical facilities just in case.

While I love San Francisco, you should be aware that it is quite expensive to stay there. A large vehicle would not do well on the hilly streets; so you would need to use public transportation for the most part, or taxis. That might not be so much fun with an infant.

I agree with other posters who recommend motels with kitchen facilities; often you can get a weekly rate. That would allow you some flexibility to stay put and make day trips.

Your sanity or not is not my business - but some logistical suggestions. First, price carefully the cost of an RV. I considered this a number of times, and it was always more expensive than renting a car and staying in less expensive hotels. Make sure you factor in mandatory RV insurance, mileage charges, drop-off fees if going on-way; and then see if as a non-US citizen they charge you even more. There are plenty of US hotels that have free breakfast and a refrigerator and microwave in the rooms. You can buy a cooler and have lunch from that.

Have you checked your insurance coverage while outside UK? US hospitals will treat any of you in an emergency, but you will be required to pay - and if it is not a real emergency, they will expect you to put a lot on your credit card just to be seen.

I cannot imagine flying UK-Australia with a baby. Babies at that age are fairly portable. For a trip of that length it would be cheaper to buy baby stuff here and then donate it after the trip - car seat, portable crib would be about it.

The baby will need passport to enter US. I have no clue how long it takes to get that in UK, but I might start right after s/he is born. You probably can't even book a flight until after birth.

As far as route - that is up to what you want, since the baby will not care. You might even consider doing a trip north from California to Pacific Northwest (Seattle, Portland) and then fly to east coast and drive from Florida to New England or even Canada.

Congratulations on the baby and wishing all good health.

You may want to find out "what kind of baby" this is going to be--easy, sleeps through the night by 3 months, etc. OR collicky, fussy, etc. They come in all forms!!
I think the RV is an awful idea for sightseeing but maybe all right for your schedule keeping. But if you did something like also renting a car you could base yourself "somewhere" in a campground and do day trips.
Don't pay any attention to the naysayers about maternity leave--it's your business. BUT there is much to say about establishing your baby's schedule at home without the upheaval of a trip.
I would assume the baby will travel in your lap at that age on a flight so can't see the problem of booking air. One of the baby swaddles would be a good thing to have with one that tiny--for mom and dad.

While I admire your adventurousness, the idea is just crazy. You have no idea what you are getting into. Believe me, even a healthy baby will have medical needs in their first 6 months and you don't want to be somewhere on the road when that happens.

A child is exhausting for the first year and even harder when it's your first and you're making all the usual mistakes. My son is 8 so those memories are not as distant as most of the posters here and I can not imagine how unpleasant traveling across the country would be in an RV for months 3-6.

I feel bad for raining on your parade, but figured you'd want honest opinions. Best of luck if you choose to push ahead.

Brian has NAILED it. Make your baby's first months at home and a wonderful bonding experience for the family.

Congrats! People do all kind of things with babies today. It would be a good idea to hold off making final plans until after he or she is born. If you decide to go for it, I keep thinking Highway 1 in California would be a good choice. If you decide to go for it, age four months would be a minimum, in my humble opinion.

I agree with Brian.

Driving Highway 1 in California in an RV would be high on my list of suicidal ideas. The road isn't that wide, the curves are many, and the drops are dreadful.

. . . but in a car it is one of the most scenic drives in the world . . .

I really appreciate everyones views - thanks so much. We are going to do a lot more thinking on this before deciding anything and also yes, probably waiting to make any really firm arrangements until the new arrival is here.

One thing we have taken away from all the feedback is a more relaxing way to do this may be to forget the use of an RV!! We are going to look more into basing ourselves in perhaps 3 places across the 10-12 weeks and rent an apartment / condo to reduce the moving around. Also, parents would be coming out to visit during the trip so we wouldnt be just on our own so we would have some level of support during the trip. I suppose even the 'living abroad for 3 months' rather than 'traveling abroad for 3 months' is adventurous but I think we could make it work with both my wife and I not working and being fully dedicated to the new arrival each day.

I like the idea of 1 month x 3 places. How about someplace in California, someplace in northeast, and 1 other place - depending on your interests. Maybe southeast US. Or southern Canada.

An example. If you based yourself in Boston area (I live there - so more familiar with options here). You could then do city things, day trips to more rural or scenic areas of Massachusetts, Vermont, NH (renting a car for a day or so as necessary). You could use public transportation, Uber, taxis for most local travel. How much staying at home and how much short-distance travel you do would depend on your preferences and temperament of baby.

Similarly for California. Base yourself someplace and see some of the cities, National Parks - depending on same factors. You will have a completely different experience than a traditional tourist and really get to know that area, probably even meeting other people with babies while on walks.

AirBnB or VRBO (vacation rentals by owner) might have options for 3-4 week rentals. the closer you get to summer tourist season (starting the end of May), the less available and more expensive they are likely to be. Also not sure how long you are allowed to be in US as a tourist, health insurance, etc.

I agree with Brian also. It is IMO a very, very bad idea.

Babies may be portable but their doctors are not. I can't tell you how many times my son and wife called their pediatrician and/or went to her office during their son's first year. They finally had to take him out of daycare and find a nanny because he was always getting sick from the other children. In your case, you are constantly putting a new baby in contact with new germs which could make him/her (and you) quite ill. You could always go to the emergency room, of course, but you might have to wait for several hours before treatment and it would be rare to see a pediatrician--just a GP.

This child also had some eating problems so they had to go to a specialist to figure out how to get him to eat solids. If you're on the road, it will be difficult to find that sort of help without a doctor's recommendation and often referral.

You really have no idea what is going to hit you when the baby is born!

You really have no idea what is going to hit you when the baby is born!
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This.

<<You really have no idea what is going to hit you when the baby is born!>>

For sure. Babies that age require 24/7 attention and, for the parents, there is usually little or no sleep. Some settle down a bit after three months, but many do not until six months or more.

And, they require so much "stuff"! Clothing, "equipment" (car seats, playpen, swing, bathing apparatus...). Not to mention the amount of laundry created.

Everyone will tell you that it's important to do your best to enjoy those months, as they go by so quickly, which they do, but it doesn't seem like that at all during. I cannot imagine doing all that away from home. It's challenging enough in your own home.

It's more than a bit daft to expect to enjoy "hikes" in scenic areas with a baby and also be convenient to hospitals.

I loved traveling with my children when they were infants. We took our first to Japan for a month when she was 4 months old and it was wonderful. We traveled by train, I was nursing her so didn't really have to worry about food safety, and people were so much more welcoming to us with a baby. I recommend doing it before your baby learns to crawl... It get a lot harder after that!

There are quit a few blogs written by parents who are successful ly traveling with infants, some on a quite permanent basis. Check out "Almost Fearless", and read her older stuff. Her first child is about 5 now; he has a younger sister and mom is about to give birth to #3. Google traveling with a baby and you'll find lots. Unless your child has major medical issues, there is no need to stay at home. Actually, you end up holding a baby more when you are on the road, and for a tiny infant, there is nothing better!
I do advise against an RV. They are terribly expensive, and difficult to drive and park. Good luck!

My main question: have you been to the west coast before? It's a lot of driving. A lot of the hiking is further away from medical services (or conveniences) than I would want to be. It might be a better idea to stick with a more population dense area- like the northeast or even the Midwest. You'd still have access to hiking and the outdoors, but you'd be in less remote areas.

I don't necessarily think it's an insane or irresponsible idea, though. My parents and several of their friends were active military. They did travel (obviously to move) but they also went sightseeing a lot because to them traveling with a baby was no different (and a lot more fun) than moving to another continent for work. There are even several pictures of my mom hiking various places with me in a front pack at a few weeks/months old.

I DO think the point about your pediatrician is a good one. Here, unless there's a quick care center, you'll be redirected to the ER. And having to wait in a strange city's ER with your sick baby just sounds awful to me:( not to mention I have no idea what that may cost you or what your travel insurance might cover.

I'd certainly buy refundable plane tickets just in case you have to put the trip off. I agree, the RV is not the route to go. I'd probably travel at a more relaxed pace and stay in condos or studio hotel rooms. I'd get a midsize car or such so you have room for the stroller, crib, etc.

I just want to re emphasize the differences between the US and Canadian health care systems and those you have experienced in the UK and perhaps on the continent.

Since you won't have a regular pediatrician or primary care physician, in case of illness, you will have to start with a [usually private] urgent care center, known here as "doc in a box", perhaps unfairly as the care is likely to be the same as at your regular physician. What they haven't got is any access to your long term medical and prescription records to aid in diagnosis and treatment, and most of them are not 24/7.

Since you won't have health insurance, you will have to pay by credit card and bill your UK insurance for reimbursement when you get home.

Ditto at an emergency room (I think you call these "casualty"). You will be sent there either directly or as a referral from the stand alone care center. In small towns, you may be evacuated by helicopter to a major medical center. Mine charges about $500 for a visit, $2500 or so for a CAT scan. People who haven't got insurance or enough balance on their credit card often/usually have to sign a promissory note. They will not let you or your child suffer nor will any of the medical personnel who deal with you have any idea of whether or not you are insured. But it is a stress you need to prepare for.

Agree that babies of that age are subject to all sorts of illnesses that while actually minor can be incredibly scary for the parents. Since they are so young they have limited immunities and tend to pick up every germ going around - leading to colds, ear infections, etc. Also they have a tendency to have temps that shoot up very quickly - and you may need an MD at a moment's notice. This is available in most places but will not be cheap - and you don;t want to be sitting in an ER or an Urgi center (which may not even have a pediatrician) in the middle of the night in a strange city.

And if you don't have immediate access to a ped who knows your baby this can be very stressful.

Don't want to be a worrywort, but at the moment I have 3 neighbors with infants under 6 months. Very different than your situation since they get only 3 months parental leave plus whatever they can eke out of their vacation time but all are now getting ready to go back to work and 2 are seriously rethinking their decision - and may end up taking lengthy leaves of absence since caring for the baby means they are so sleep deprived and constantly exhausted, esp one whose child has had multiple ear infections.

If it were me I would wait until the baby is somewhat older - at least 6 or 8 months - so the whole family has had time to settle into a pattern (especially sleeping) and the first crises of child care have been coped with along with your prechosen and trusted pediatrician.

Agree to wait a bit for the baby to be bigger.

If you wait until April or May, when weather should be nice in the SE, and for the first month, rent a condo or nice cottage somewhere along the coast from Florida up to the DC area, or on the Gulf Coast, you could have a nice time. You would be near medical facilities and still close to places interesting for day trips.

A city like Washington DC would be really nice at that time of year. Trees in full flower and lots to do if family comes to visit. Perhaps stay in Old Town Alexandria and use metro for a week in the city and rent a car for so many lovely towns and sights in the area.

Charleston, SC would be interesting for a month stay. Beautiful time to be there.

Hampton Roads, Virginia Beach, Williamsburg area would work for a month stay.

After doing a Southern area, Boston would be nice.

It is very hard to argue with Sassafrass's advice. In fact, I'm ready to go right now!

Thanks again for the replies. To give a quick update on where we are - we have totally ruled out an RV or car + motels now.

We are leaning towards booking my work sabbatical in advance and then seeing how baby is doing and if it feels like it could work based on health, my wife etc, we will go away for month 4-6 after birth. We won't be travelling round loads and will use a base of probably 3-4 places (near to health care etc) Thanks for the ideas of other places in the US to look into. The idea would be to get flights, a route, places to stay etc lined up before babys arrival and then book only in Feb time when we know whether it is a realistic proposition!

Thanks for the feedback on baby health and US healthcare system, I fully understand the comments. However, just wanted to add, we wouldn't embark on the trip in the first place if 0-3 months had thrown up health concerns, we would of course make sure UK travel insurance gave us the cover we need for the baby and again, we wouldn't go if it didn't. In the UK, we would be going to a A & E (accident and emergency) anyway for anything that serious so little difference there to going to a US emergency room. In the US, we wouldn't have easily available access to a GP though for the smaller issues which we would in the UK.

lcuy - inspiring, Japan trip sounds amazing

Sassafrass, ackinslander, Gail - thanks, very useful

If you have a healthy, full-term baby and if mom isn't having any problems nursing, then I don't think an 8-12 wk vacation is crazy. Long road trips aren't practical if she's nursing as you have to stop the car every time baby feeds (around every 2 hrs) since baby has to come out of the car seat to nurse and will want to stay latched on to sleep (and you can't move the car unless the baby goes back into the car seat). But you could def drive a few hours and then stay put for a few weeks. For drives, I always had pumped breast milk in a bottle which I could pop into his mouth without stopping the car (but this means mom needs to pump in the car if it's a long drive & baby needs to be used to taking a bottle....)

We first "hiked" with our baby when he was 6-7 wks old along the coastal bluffs in Mendocino in late March (3 hrs outside SF and hospital nearby in Fort Bragg). We also did a couple of hikes through the redwoods with him during that same trip. We were only in Mendocino for a week (we were visiting grandparents in the Bay Area) but I would have loved to stay for 3 wks. Wonderful local organic co-op, good restaurants and bakeries, beautiful and gorgeous scenery. We rented a place via AirBNB (or was it VRBO?) and we were walking distance to town and for coastal walks.

We also did some easy hiking in Pt. Reyes (1 hr from San Francisco) and some hiking outside of Portland - all before baby was 4 months old.

I feel that healthy infants get the most sick when they are in daycare or have a sibling who is in daycare. Traveling with a healthy baby prior to 6 months is the easiest time to travel, IMO. If you have the income to rent 3 properties for 3-4 wks at a time and rent a car, I would go for it. Check the schedule for wellness visits (in the U.S., you are expected to bring a newborn in at 12 wks, 16 wks, 24 wks for check-ups and vaccinations but it may be different in the UK)

One logistical challenge will be lining up rental properties with a flexible cancellation policy in case you need to re-schedule. But start searching and you might luck out (you would want to ultimately book units where you don't end up booking through the vrbo or airbnb site and pay a non-refundable service fee in case of cancellation).

I get what other posters are saying -- you don't know exactly what your baby will be like or what you and mom will be like but if you and your wife love traveling now, there's also a good chance you will love it with baby too.