In answer to the question about ten posts higher: 'marmate' is a typo for 'marmite' which is a first cousin of vegemite (see higher posts). 'Crumpet' is a round batter-cake about four inches across, flat on one side, dimpled on the other. You toast it lightly, and eat with butter and maybe honey drizzled into the dimples. Gorgeous, but fattening. It is a breakfast or maybe afternoon tea treat. 'Crumpet' is also slang for 'head', and also for a rather nice-looking young lady of hopefully easy virtue.

The worst (but most memorable) meal I've had in Europe came at the hands of a folk-style restaurant in Krakow. I wanted something typical, and the restaurant was packed with poles and came highly recommended. I ordered a pork dish that the waiter said was wonderful and very popular, and that I would surely like. I think he must have found my poor attempts at Polish laced with both an American and a Czech accent to be amusing, and decided to have some fun with the gringo. I will forever regret not having my camera with me during the meal. <BR> <BR>As we sipped our beers, he brought brown bread and something to spread on it. Yummy, I thought, until I put it in my mouth and recognized a taste I hadn't had since childhood -- LARD, pure lard. I know first-hand how much East Europeans love their lard, and I know how "spoiled" my tastes have become since I adopted other international foods. So, no judgement yet on my part; when this place said authentic, they weren't kidding. Lard is a big part of a traditional regional diet. I picked up a piece of plain bread and munched, waiting happily for my main course. <BR> <BR>Then it came. The waiter brought a giant leg of pig, about a foot long and 8 inches in diameter, tapering at the end to a bone, and occupying the entire plate. It was exactly what you see at the butcher store -- the bone, then some meat, then the thigh, and then a cross-section. I don't even remember what the side dish was, but I know it came on a separate, side dish. I wish I had taken a photo. <BR> <BR>My friend and I toasted our good fortune, said our bon appetits, and cut our first bites. Well, when I cut into this leg of pig, I discovered that the first four inches or so were pure, intact blubber. When I cut into it and pulled my knife back out, it closed back up without so much as a seam to indicate my cut. I tried again, and again found that it was easy to cut but impossible to keep open, and that deep deep inside, a little meat was clinging to the bone. Slowly I started with my best attempts at surgical precision to remove the layer of blubber (I was very hungry after a long, cold day of sightseeing) and get to the meat. This leg of pig that I chisled away at was huge, and I managed to extract less than a cup of meat. I barely ate a thing, even though I put aside my dislike for blubber and ate meat that was coated with it despite my best efforts to scrape. My friend found the whole event highly amusing (he had something else and was happy and satisfied and well-fed). I did too, I must add. Although I count this as the single worst meal I've had in Europe, it's also the most memorable. The restaurant, by the way, is not far from the castle area, and I definitely recommend it. Just don't get the leg.

My worst meal was in England and was one I unfotunately contributed to. At the height of the mad cow ban my friend in England rhapsodized about the wonderful Canadian beef she had enjoyed on her visit to Canada. I decided to bring her some as a surprise present. I visited the best butcher in our city and had a 10 pound roast fit for a king specially prepared for her. I travelled overseas with this roast carried between ice packs (and two bottles of duty free liquor) in my handbaggage, praying I would not be detected. Fortunately I was not asked the dread question -- are you bringing food into the country -- so I did not have a crise de conscience, and the roast and I arrived in Bedford safely the next day. My friend announced they would have it for Sunday "tea". Well, though British born, I am confused by when tea is on Sundays, knowing it can be variously late morning, mid-day or even as late as 4 in the afternoon, depending on whom you are with. <BR> <BR>I came downstairs on Sunday morning about 7:30 after a good nights rest to find my friend unwrapping the roast. She proceeded to drop it into a plastic wash basin in the sink which lead to my first shock. Before I could stop her she had run a pile of cold water over the meat to "wash off the blood". Of course as anyone knows, washing meat tightens the sinews and makes it tougher than hell later. She then proceeded to put it on a pan to put it into the cooker which was reved up to 250C. Noting the time, and the weight of the meat, I asked her if she was going to be serving it 9ish in the morning. No, no she said, its for tea. I asked which tea. 11 am, noon, 4 p.m., in which case she was going to be cooking it way too soon and at way too hot a temperature. She announced it was for 4 p.m. when the family came around and that everyone liked their meat "well done". <BR> <BR>While I was eventually able to persuade her to turn the cooker down to as low a temperature as I could persuade her was "safe" to avoid botulism or worse, I could not stop her from popping that wonderful piece of meat into the oven at 8 a.m. It emerged at 3 p.m. and was served at 4 to the delight of all assembled. By then it had gone from being a glorious 10 pound piece of first class beef to something small and round and black as tar and hard as the hobs of hell -- rather resembling a Canadian hockey puck. I don't know how on earth they ate it but they did. For my part, I refused to share in their "feast" suggesting that I could have this delight anytime back home in Canada, and they could not! It nearly broke my heart. <BR>

Hi Dave. Are you from Utah? Me too. My cousin is Ted Capener...do you know him? Now, about worst meals...my very ugliest one was a fish soup I was offered in Lisbon...ghastly is the only word to describe it. Fish heads and offal floating in a sea of grease. Tried to send it back but the waiter was simply indifferent. Such are the tourists treated in some places. second worst meal was one offered somewhere in the countryside of China, a platter of something like "clabbered" milk that wobbled off the platter onto a dirty oilcloth table. I, along with some others, passed on the entire meal and were glad when many of our tour gott the "mobblywobbles" in their GI tract. YUK!

Hi all, <BR>Site buggy today. Reply redux? <BR>1. Unfortunately, a not once-in-a-lifetime experience where chicken and chip meals were consumed (most in Scotland but some in England) in which the fowl had been fed fish meal during its life then fried in the fish oil in death. Oy. <BR>2. In rural Alaska (a former European colony hence legit for this thread): "old fish" and seal blood soup (two dishes.) Enough said?

Forget to mention the most "dangerous" meal I ever ate was in Bankok, where I wan injesting the most delisous soup when i chewed, then swallowed what looked like a small green bean. WRONG!! and my esophagus closed, throat swelled and I thought I was going to die. My husband tried to get the waiter to bring bread, and followed him thru the cafe and into the kitchen, but the waiter didn't understand english, but soon brought us a menu.. EGAD. watch for those little peppers. Other time we jouneyed by cab accross London (with friends) at rush hour to go to "Maggie Jones", which was an old favorite of ours in our younger years. I ordered "lamb" which was purely inedible (could have been horse, or camel). A great disapointment.

Up!

A recent Lonely Planet episode on Travel Channel, featured "odd" foods of the world. <BR> <BR>In a Peruvian mountain town, the Traveller was served a large (size of cat), guinea pig-like rodent, that was deep fried & served WHOLE on a platter...fur, claws, head, EVERYTHING. <BR> <BR>I don't think they actually showed the Traveller taking a bite, however... <BR> <BR>yechh.

It wasn't a meal, but a snack. My friend in Hungary went to Japan and brought back some fried grasshoppers. They were caramellized or something. Well, out of curiosity, I tried it, and ate most of it except the head. It wasn't bad actually, it tasted like a caramellized.................grasshopper? A little crunchy though. When in Germany, I was offered some dried worm/caterpillar by a Mozambiquan friend, but wasn't very hungry at the moment! ;-) I have also eaten some dulse, which is not very unusual, but it was the worst thing I ever tasted. Except maybe ginseng. I know these things aren't European, but I ate them in Europe, so perhaps you don't mind. By the way if you're in Hungary you might want to avoid "csulok" (with 2 dots on both the U and the O). It's pork, but it has everything on it --lots of bone, skin, fat etc.-- except meat. But some people like it (like my dad.)

Not Europe, but fifteen years ago in Hong Kong I was eating with a macho guy who bragged and bragged about eating monkey brains and other disgusting sounding things. We were being hosted by a local. A dish that looked like sliced frankfurters arrived and we both dug in. I asked what we were dining on and was told: "deer penis." The braggy macho guy immediately put down his chopsticks and looked green. I just said, "Umm.. delicious," and kept on eating, with a smile.

This actually was part of one of the best meals my wife and I had while travelling. We were in Amsterdam and had dinner at a rijstaffel restaurant. This is an Indonesian style meal, translated as "rice table". It consists of a large bowl of rice with numerous small servings of savory dishes with interesting sauces and condiments. We asked the waiter to explain what each of the dishes were and he identified the various servings as "chicken" "beef" "pork" and "meat". Try as we might we never got a more complete explanation of "meat". Knowing it wasn't chicken beef or pork didn't help (dog, cat, or horse were potential contenders)and we ended up leaving the mystery meat alone.

At an outside cafe in Sevilla, I ordered a ham sandwich. What I was served looked like raw bacon and very fatty bacon at that. The best I could do was convince the waiter to exchange it for just the bread. I had eaten ham previously in Spain and it was excellent elsewhere. <BR> <BR>In England, a friend thought he was ordered a tuna fish sandwich and a peanut butter sandwich. What he got was a tuna fish sandwich with peanut butter. Since this was part of a packed lunch for the day, he ate it anyhow.

No question about the worse meal, ever. It was just after dusk, we walked out of Westminster Abbey. It was cold. Our plane had arrived quite early that morning and were now exhausted and hungry. We ordered a hotdog from a kiosh by the Abbey and ate our "dinner" as Big Ben bells tolled. Within hours, my wife was sick. We learned several things, pace ourselves, eat before we are starving and a hotdog is not <BR>a meal--no matter what the view !!

I shan't describe it; simply name it and let your imaginations soar: Head Cheese!

Gotta disagree with the poster who didn't like haggis. Probably if you had not been told what it was made from before you ate it, you would have enjoyed it. It is especially good with onion gravy, and a side order of mashed potatoes and turnips! The worst meal I ever had is a toss up between McDonald's or Taco Bell, I think they are made from the parts of the cow that the cow is eager to get rid of.

My worst meal was the above mentioned Guinea Pig in Ecuador. I was doing an internship there and everyone wanted to know if I'd tried the regional delicacy "Cuy" the guinea pig-like rodent. I kept saying, no, thanks, and of course everyone said "How do you know you don't like it if you haven't tried it?" Well, I resisted until one night when my coworkers took me to a seedy restaurant and ordered "5 cuy y un pollo" - one chicken for me. But the waiter came back to tell us that there was no chicken or other food and I was so hungry I had the Cuy. It was not horrible, but I assure you I won't be trying it again anytime soon. <BR>

My worst food experience was, unfortunately in the good ol' U S of A. I had arrived in Idaho for a wedding rehearsal dinner at a fine eating establishment imaginatively entitled "Burger and Brew" (I did not make that up). Having come directly from the airport, I was the first to arrive; so I decided to order an appetizer. <BR> <BR>When in Europe, I always try to order the local specialty. I figure that it's what they do best, so it's bound to be good. This has always been very reliable in the past. So, I ordered their specialty, something called "finger steaks". In theory these should be thin strips of beef, battered and deep-fried. (Not something I would normally order, but when in Boise...) What arrived were several suspicious looking balls of batter. <BR> <BR>How shall I describe them? (I recommend the squeamish to skip now to the next post). Have you ever been eating a piece of meat when you hit a piece of gristle that you just can't chew? No matter how long you try, you know that you will never defeat this rubbery/stringy matter. Finally, having made sure that no one is looking, you discretely remove the offending mass from your mouth with a folded napkin. Now, imagine that you take this masticated morsel from your napkin, batter it, deep fry it and serve it to some unsuspecting patron. This gives a sense of the experience. <BR>

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To the top, because you are all so amusing!

OK Chalk this one up to "I shoulda known better" or just plain bad karma for daring to eat at a McDonalds in Vienna (I can hear all the Fodorites snickering)What can I say? It was late, after a Strauss concert and nothing else was open. So I ordered some kind of McChicken thing and, since I am a vegetarian even took the chicken off the bun and just ate the bun and mayo....But I guess McChicken sammies are not hot seller's in Vienna, can you believe it? Because that sandwich had been sitting underneath that heating lamp since Strauss actually played his own concerts and the mayo was..you guessed it, TAINTED!!! 30 minutes after ingesting it, I was "screaming for Jesus..." over a toilet in our hotel room, I was violently sick for 2 days and nearly ended up in the hospital.I didn't see any more of Vienna which is unfortunate, but it says something about that city that I still enjoyed it.