Young lady travelling alone
 

My daughter is going to Europe in the fall. She'll have just turned 22. Hopefully, a friend will be travelling with her, but maybe not. She's going anyway.She's a solid, common sense kind of person who has travelled in Europe with us twice. As her mother, how worried should I be about her safety if she goes alone? I'm not going to protest her going any more, I guess I just want some reassurances.

You're not going to protest her going any more? That's probably very refreshing for her - she's an fully-fledged adult forgodsake!

Don't be one of those control-freak or guilt-trip mothers because that is highly offensive for all others involved.

I don't mean to be snide here. But she's a grown up!

You claim to have been to Europe with her. You also claim that she is a solid and common-sense kind of person.

If you can't trust your own perception of her, and you don't believe that she has the appropriate judgement to deal with situations, and that she may not be able to use her common sense when in Europe, then it's not up to the contributors here to tell you what to do about her trip to Europe.

It's totally unfair to the posters here to provide you with re-assurance about your daughter's trip.

Lady:

Don't ask us...we are all crazy!

Get your "reassurances" from her, her pastor, professors, employer, her dad...

Please, leave us out of this.

p.s. make sure she doe not log on to your computer and find that you have asked "the world" about her decision.

Thanks,
Oaktown Traveler

doe=does

Gee, If I had a 22 year old daughter who was headed to Europe alone I might turn here for words of encouragement. You guys are brutal.

Lady, I am certainly not 22 but have traveled in Europe a lot alone. No problem. As long as she is smart about choices, there are loads of kids out there on their own. She won't be alone. Of course you will probably worry a bit, but that's what being a Mom is about... even if their "kid" is 22.

Thank you, grasshopper. I'm thinking no one who responded was a mother. Yes, the people on this board can be brutal. I changed my screen name once because they made such fun of me on another post. I don't think I'll come here again. This is obviously for people who only ask the 'right' questions.

BTW, I was only concerned about her SAFETY, not what she chose to do!

Turn here for words of encouragement? Wow, just like Oaktown above may as well have written - we're may all be a bunch of serial killers here ! Just ask us about shoes and silk underwears to wear in Europe,

Yup, ask a bunch of internet message board posters whom she had most likely never met nor talked to, ever, about her relationship with her daughter.

Now that I think of it, Lady's post makes me wonder which one is actually the grown-up between the two of them.

Lady, There are huge numbers of nice, helpful people who love to share useful information. I've made friends with several in the real world. Do come back and ask questions. Just ignore the nasties.

Lady:

I am a mom.

BRUTAL Honesty: Put her in your prayers and leave it at that.

Her SAFETY is in "his" hands not ours.

If you really have been on these boards you might know that I am a HUGE advocate of women travelling solo be they married or not.

Please, do not come here and whine and cry because "we" are not telling you what you want to hear.

And, if a whole goo-gob of us said yes or no what would you really do?

Sorry, to be so terse but Lady, for once in Fodor board history posters are playing this parent question straight!

Cut your percieved losses and go spend some time with your daughter already.

Parent-to-Parent,
Oaktown Traveler

To get back to your original question, I think it depends on where she is going and on what sort of budget. These factors would seem to me to have more impact on the safety issue than whether she is alone or with a friend.

She's got common sense and she's been to Europe -- that's good. So you might assume that she will not decide to wander into a rough part of town late at night, right? Is she staying in decent hotels in safe neighborhoods? Does she have enough money to take a taxi instead of a bus if need be? Etc.

You might also feel reassured that she is very likely to meet up with other people her age and end up traveling with them.

Lady,

As grasshopper mentioned, just ignore all the posts from people telling you to "get over it because she's an adult". Apparently, they don't seem to understand that most parents will always be a bit afraid of their kids traveling alone abroad.

I asked for some advice when taking my younger brothers to europe, and when I posted that they would be 18 and 19, the board went crazy with people complaning that I was an over-bearing, obsessive sister... they failed to see that since I would be the oldest in the group, only 25 at that, I would be responsible for them!!

This board has many people happily willing to offer advice on sites, transport, etc, but things tend to get touchy when parents/sibilings ask about the "safety" of their loved ones.

To answer your question - since she already traveled to Europe twice, I would guess she has some of her bearings as to the locations on things she wants to see.

Europe is very safe, even in the cities, if you use common sense and not be out till 2am in a dodgy part of town. My sister and I just went to Europe, for the first time, and we felt perfectly safe there!

Our daughters both travel alone and they've never had any problems. On the contrary, they have both often met very kind people (probably posters on this forum) who have welcomed them, given them advice, bought them dinners and assisted in various ways.

She'll be fine. Enjoy the fact that she has the courage to travel alone. Many people don't, you know.

Considering the events of this morning, I think she might want to avoid Spain, if she has any safety concerns...

I was 17 when I travelled by myself from Finland to Spain by boat and train. Sweden-Denmark-The Netherlands-Germany-France-Spain. And then I travelled also back. That was in those times when there where no cell phones, and I had money to call home only once a week. Nothing bad happened.

My only child is a boy. He went Interrailing all over Eastern Europe and Italy when he was 16. Nothing bad happened, except that he got stuck for days to some small town in Poland because of the floods. But that was more like an experience.

i am 22 and I recently weent to europe (with a friend who had lived in france for almost a year), and my mom was concerned. I have never been out side the US, and only the second time traveling without one of my parents. They were worried, but i gotan e-kit phone card witha voice mail system so if they needed to call me they could leave a message and i could call them, they never actually left a message, but i think it gave them some reassureance, i also left them with a copy of my itinery. You can also find internet cafes to e-mail or IM

Don't worry! Just make sure you know where she will be and ask her to visit an internet cafe to send you a few quick messages. She should try and get a friend to go with her bc at 22, she would probably have more fun with a companion! I know I did at that age.

Some of the earlier replies to this thread may have been full-moon induced. The girl is only 22 for goodness sakes and, unless she went to grad school at NYU and Lady mom works for the United Nations, I think it's perfectly reasonable to worry and be concerned.

My (Ohio) mother used to tell me that my father had difficulty sleeping the first five years I lived in NYC (I moved right from the rural family house into a NYC one-bedroom apartment with two stranger roommates on NYC's then drug-infested, Lower East Side). Sometimes "letting go" can be the most difficult act of love a parent can provide.

Sounds to me your daughter will do just fine. Most likely, she will flourish. At least we live in modern times and she's only a phone call away. Be grateful your daughter has exploration in her soul. This is a good thing.

Hi Lady,

She'll be all right. Make sure she knows how to say 'no' in 6 or 7 languages.