YAY I'm cashing in on the equity in my house so I can travel MORE :)
May 10th, 2005, 01:01 PM
#21
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As elaine said, GreenDragon may have gotten more advice than she wanted, but let's face it, she posted very personal financial information on the international web. She shared information that I wouldn't tell me closest friends, or even my parents. That said, elaine is also right that you need to have wills and, just as important, durable power of attorney in case a parent is incapable of making decisions. Probably sounds unlikely now, but you never know when this can happen.
May 10th, 2005, 01:12 PM
#23
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Why on earth would you think she's a troll? The subject of the post is personal but not controversial like a typical troll post would be.
Anyway, GreenDragon, congrats to you for being able to travel again. That must be a really good feeling!
Anyway, GreenDragon, congrats to you for being able to travel again. That must be a really good feeling!
May 10th, 2005, 01:58 PM
#26
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also, in addition to the paperwork mentioned above, your parents' equity in the house can be quickly dissolved should either one of them (or you, for that matter) have to go into a long-term care facility. Do any of you have long-term care insurance?
Their share of your equity perhaps can be put into a trust, that they can have use of while they are young and well.
Their share of your equity perhaps can be put into a trust, that they can have use of while they are young and well.
May 10th, 2005, 03:01 PM
#27
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GreenDragon hasn't actually gone anywhere yet, nor spent any money nor incurred any new debt.
As I understand it, she has taken equity and paid off her debts.
Who owns the house and whom it goes to in the event of her father's death is not clear.
Basically, she is free to plan -- for retirement, for travel, for contingencies. So let's help her plan wisely.
All the cautious advice is well-meant, I'm sure.
I'm cautious myself -- perhaps too cautious, as it turns out.
We were exceedingly prudent for years, nothwithstanding that we had excellent pension plans.
At ages 52 and 61, we're both millionaires -- and one of us has recently had (and may still have) cancer.
So much for planning for a rainy day....
I wish now that I (the painfully prudent one) had felt comfortable cutting loose a bit more (though we did travel plenty).
As I understand it, she has taken equity and paid off her debts.
Who owns the house and whom it goes to in the event of her father's death is not clear.
Basically, she is free to plan -- for retirement, for travel, for contingencies. So let's help her plan wisely.
All the cautious advice is well-meant, I'm sure.
I'm cautious myself -- perhaps too cautious, as it turns out.
We were exceedingly prudent for years, nothwithstanding that we had excellent pension plans.
At ages 52 and 61, we're both millionaires -- and one of us has recently had (and may still have) cancer.
So much for planning for a rainy day....
I wish now that I (the painfully prudent one) had felt comfortable cutting loose a bit more (though we did travel plenty).
May 10th, 2005, 03:15 PM
#28
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No regrets, tedgale... you have obviously enjoyed good companionship, have traveled, and have wisely saved for the 'rough' times. No one can predict the future, not even the one you may think you have coming toward you now. Be at peace.
May 10th, 2005, 03:25 PM
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Good luck, GreenDragon! We were unable to even think about retirement funds until our mid-30s because of school, training, etc. Consequently, we aren't as well off as others our age, and we are a little worried about retirement, but we do have retirement funds in place, contributing as best we've been able since then. We won't be wealthy, but we won't be on the street.
And so we are traveling now as we can swing it. Our thinking: we may or may not be lucky and healthy enough to travel in retirement, but we'll never be healthier than we are now, nor can we be sure we'll have each other beyond a certain point in the future. And I remember the trips we took along the way much more fondly than the mortgages we've had (and have).
Seems to me you ARE planning; and no one can guarantee things will work out well OR badly with your parents. So you deserve to spend some parts of your life right now enjoying what you can do, right now. Good luck, bon voyage.
And so we are traveling now as we can swing it. Our thinking: we may or may not be lucky and healthy enough to travel in retirement, but we'll never be healthier than we are now, nor can we be sure we'll have each other beyond a certain point in the future. And I remember the trips we took along the way much more fondly than the mortgages we've had (and have).
Seems to me you ARE planning; and no one can guarantee things will work out well OR badly with your parents. So you deserve to spend some parts of your life right now enjoying what you can do, right now. Good luck, bon voyage.
May 10th, 2005, 03:26 PM
#30
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tedgale, first I wish you and your spouse/companion a full recovery and many years ahead of travel.
The problem is hindsight, or, not having foresight. It's hard to know what we will need if we live to be 90, as opposed to what we would like to do before we're too old to do it. I myself vary between prudence and extravagance. I just hope I'm in the right place in the cycle should something significant happen.
The problem is hindsight, or, not having foresight. It's hard to know what we will need if we live to be 90, as opposed to what we would like to do before we're too old to do it. I myself vary between prudence and extravagance. I just hope I'm in the right place in the cycle should something significant happen.
May 10th, 2005, 03:40 PM
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tedgale, I would like to echo elaine's comments to you--I couldn't have said it better.
There are certainly infinite types of good fortune and misfortune in life. As I assume most--if not all--posters on this board really love to travel, I hope that all of you find a way to do so, as often as you can afford.
Hmm, maybe I'm getting a little maudlin. Sorry about that.
Best of luck, GreenDragon.
There are certainly infinite types of good fortune and misfortune in life. As I assume most--if not all--posters on this board really love to travel, I hope that all of you find a way to do so, as often as you can afford.
Hmm, maybe I'm getting a little maudlin. Sorry about that.
Best of luck, GreenDragon.
May 10th, 2005, 03:56 PM
#32
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I posted this on the wrong thread, so I am posting again, here:
dear tedgale,
A gentleman named Shelley said :
Fear not for the future, weep not for the past.
Regrets are a waste of time darlin, look forward! Best regards to you and your wife.
dear tedgale,
A gentleman named Shelley said :
Fear not for the future, weep not for the past.
Regrets are a waste of time darlin, look forward! Best regards to you and your wife.
May 10th, 2005, 04:05 PM
#33
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Sacrlett dear: I thought you knew.
The person to whom I am married is not my wife, if you get my drift!
Remember, I am Canadian -- we do things differently here.
10 months married, after 28 years of "companionship". Smartest move I ever made.
The person to whom I am married is not my wife, if you get my drift!
Remember, I am Canadian -- we do things differently here.
10 months married, after 28 years of "companionship". Smartest move I ever made.
May 10th, 2005, 04:36 PM
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elaine: From when we met, because everything was decided, then and there.
I met *the parents* less than 48 hours thereafter.
Okay, call me a hi-jacker and sue me, but here is our story:
He: What is your favourite city?
ME: London.
He: Mine too!! OK, what is your favourite part of London?
ME: Bloomsbury.
He: Mine too!! OK, what is you favourite part of Bloomsbury?
ME: Mecklenburgh Square. I used to stay at London House on the square but my room looked over onto Guildford Street. There was a penthouse apartment opposite with a long roof terrace -- that is where I always wanted to live...
He: My parents lived in that apartment......!
BINGO.
I met *the parents* less than 48 hours thereafter.
Okay, call me a hi-jacker and sue me, but here is our story:
He: What is your favourite city?
ME: London.
He: Mine too!! OK, what is your favourite part of London?
ME: Bloomsbury.
He: Mine too!! OK, what is you favourite part of Bloomsbury?
ME: Mecklenburgh Square. I used to stay at London House on the square but my room looked over onto Guildford Street. There was a penthouse apartment opposite with a long roof terrace -- that is where I always wanted to live...
He: My parents lived in that apartment......!
BINGO.
May 10th, 2005, 06:01 PM
#38
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You thought I knew?
Knew that you love someone and worry about them and fear for them?
Knew that you are happy with someone and never want that to end?
Knew that you are a really nice man and I still don't want you to regret anything?
Excellent story! I went to Mecklenburg High School in NC
and my favorite city is still London! maybe we are related LOL
Best wishes to you Both!!
Knew that you love someone and worry about them and fear for them?
Knew that you are happy with someone and never want that to end?
Knew that you are a really nice man and I still don't want you to regret anything?
Excellent story! I went to Mecklenburg High School in NC
and my favorite city is still London! maybe we are related LOLBest wishes to you Both!!
May 10th, 2005, 07:16 PM
#40
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GreenDragon I wish you much luck getting out from under your debt. I know how this can be as my husband is a dairy farmer and everything he makes goes right back into the farm and cows. He works so hard and never even has enough for a paycheck for himself. We are also trying to dig out of a horrible tragedy of having our barn burn down and we lost all of our cows and hundreds of thousands of dollars. It is a long story, but we ended up not covered by insurance when we thought that we were. We should have sued, but we did not.........anyway it has been a long haul. We continue to go through periods of struggle.
Sometimes my husband gets annoyed when I make sure I contribute to my 401K the max amount I can religiously. But someone has to save if we make it to a decent old age. Good advice to save. I wish someone would have told me what I could have saved while I was young. Even just a few dollars a week.
Tedgale, I feel for you. You have once again affirmed for me why I put aside money to travel even though I "should not". (according to the people who feel that I should be fixing up my home and getting siding and other things)
I have health concerns myself and I feel that while I am lying there on my death bed, I am not going to be saying, "O God, thank you so much for the opportunity to get that lovely siding and new dining room floor". NO.
I will be saying, " Thank you for the time with my husband and our times we got to spend together. For being able to see England and Scotland with my best friends and stand in the gorgeous Scottish Highlands and just be together taking it all in."
That is how I want to go. With no regrets and I should haves. I always wanted to travel. So that is what I am going to do. I am planning a trip next year with our choral, I am sure that will get everyones tongues wagging again. We live in a tiny and very nosey community. I don't listen. I don't care if I have to struggle financially to do it.
It sounds like you have lived well and loved well. These are not easy things, and miracles in themselves! Anyone who has been 'married' for a long time knows this. It takes work! No regrets, and it is never too late to cut loose a little. Start making up for lost time. Blessing to you both.
Sometimes my husband gets annoyed when I make sure I contribute to my 401K the max amount I can religiously. But someone has to save if we make it to a decent old age. Good advice to save. I wish someone would have told me what I could have saved while I was young. Even just a few dollars a week.
Tedgale, I feel for you. You have once again affirmed for me why I put aside money to travel even though I "should not". (according to the people who feel that I should be fixing up my home and getting siding and other things)
I have health concerns myself and I feel that while I am lying there on my death bed, I am not going to be saying, "O God, thank you so much for the opportunity to get that lovely siding and new dining room floor". NO.
I will be saying, " Thank you for the time with my husband and our times we got to spend together. For being able to see England and Scotland with my best friends and stand in the gorgeous Scottish Highlands and just be together taking it all in."
That is how I want to go. With no regrets and I should haves. I always wanted to travel. So that is what I am going to do. I am planning a trip next year with our choral, I am sure that will get everyones tongues wagging again. We live in a tiny and very nosey community. I don't listen. I don't care if I have to struggle financially to do it.
It sounds like you have lived well and loved well. These are not easy things, and miracles in themselves! Anyone who has been 'married' for a long time knows this. It takes work! No regrets, and it is never too late to cut loose a little. Start making up for lost time. Blessing to you both.
