Would you want a permanent reminder of a not-so-great trip? Men - this may not interest you....
 

Hi all

As some of you may have noticed, my husband and I had a less than perfect trip to France to celebrate our 20th anniversary. He's doing well, BTW, and is getting healthier every day.

My question concerns a gift I received from him. He wanted to make it very special and with a special presentation (along the lines of that commercial where the guy gives his wife a 3-stone diamond ring and asks her to marry him all over again). Unfortunately, health problems overrode the romantic intentions.

My sweet DH bought me a beautiful, large, sterling cuff bracelet from Tiffany and had it engraved to commemorate 20 years and our celebratory trip to France. Well, Tiffany got the engraving wrong and will re-do it for us at no charge.

Since the trip didn't turn out so well, I'd like some opinions on doing the re-engraving. Would you go with the original engraving (personal, but along the lines of "20 wonderful years and France") or change it to something that includes a reference to 20 years and NOT France.

I can't make up my mind. Sure, the trip wasn't great but we did come home okay. We did do some things. We did it together, in sickness and in health.

Could some of you chime in here and post your opinions?

Thank you,
mom

Well, considering the title of this thread lends one to open it thinking it'll be about coming home and him giving your herpes, an engraved silver cuff bracelet doesn't seem too bad!

aggiemom, there are so many ways to look at this, but only you know how you are most likely to react. For me, the bracelet and the trip would be forever linked in my memory, so whether or not I put "France" on the engraving would be irrelevant.

I don't know that there's any particular virtue in sticking to the original. You can't change what happened. Perhaps with hindsight, your husband could come up with a sentiment that puts a positive spin on it, as you have already done.

(I'm thinking of something along the lines of "20 wonderful years together, no matter what happens" or "20 wonderful years and thank God it's you by my side." You get the point.:-D )

It sounds like you have a wonderful marriage and a very romantic husband. I'm so sorry he was ill in France but thank heavens he's recovering. I still think there should be some acknowledgement of France in your engraving, since that was his original intention. How about

~20~
Toujours l'amour

centred and in a nice script font with the ~20~ bigger. Tiffany's will know what to do.

OR, if you're a movie fan, how about:

~20~
We'll always have Paris.

As you said, the France part certainly represents for better or worse, in sickness and in health...

And what a really sweet gift. I think I would treasure it just as it is, but I am a sack of sentimentality where my DH is concerned. He has wanted to replace my inexpensive engagement ring for years, but I won't let him.

I must say I have not read the other opinions but here is mine...if you tear out all the pictures in you photo album of the "bad" times and only leave the "good" times you don't have a real life. Celebrate the good and the bad in life! The trip was taken as a celebration and should hold good memories even so. Easy to say not easy to do by the way. I need to take my own advice

The words are part of the gift, no?

Your husband fell very ill on the trip to France, yet you were able to bring him home (alive) with you.
I think that that is a good reason to celebrate "France" (+ the 20 years thing!).

mom, sounds like you've got a great guy!

Definitely stick wtih the original words. His words were part of the lovely gift, and the passing of time should ease the pain you both suffered.

As you say, "in sickness and in health." The words he used are perfect and should not be changed IMHO.

Best regards to you and yours,
from a Longhorn-mom!

The more time that goes by, and the more time you have together, the more you will be able to be grateful for getting through the crisis together. Keep the reference to France because it is another part of your marriage and your shared history.

The message from several of us seems to be the same. He's still with you (hopefully for at least 30 more) and that's more important than a less than perfect anniversary celebration.

And I thought a permanent reminder would be a baby! I am disappointed!!

Drop "France" off your engraving and save it till your 25th or 30th anniv. trip.

my question is where can I buy the markoff bracelet that Tiffany engraved wrong?

Hi aggiemom, my inclination would be to have the braclet engraved with the original words your husband chose. The words are what was in his heart, and the illness he suffered does not take his loving words away. And the French medical people obviously took excellent care of your dear husband, so blessings to them.

I would look at this as a celebration that you two overcame a huge problem and are together to celebrate your victory. My dear, look at it this way. So often after years of being married partners tend to take each other for granted.

After what you two went through I would imagine neither of you will ever take each other for granted again. That is a celebration in itself!

My best wishes to the both of you with prayers that you have many decades together that are filled with love, joy and good health.

aggiemom, I just reread the title of your thread. Life is how we preceive it. Your trip was "great" dear one as your husband is home with you and from what you say coming along nicely. You did not lose him, he is not an invalid for life. In sickness and health is part of the marriage vows. Celebrate your being together..you will have another trip to France. Celebrate life, the life the two of you have together. Many hugs.

I have to confess my initial thoughts were the same as Holly followed quickly by the unwanted pregnancy!! What seedy minds we have.

On reflection, after reading all the replies I think keep the initial engraving. It was your husband's original thoughts and they should stay no matter what happened.

You will do France again, and you can look at the engraving to also mean a future trip together to France.

Happy Anniversary again. I got a beautiful diamond replacement wedding ring for our anniversary but we didn't think to have it engraved. Couldn't really see any engraving anyway. My original wedding band "fell apart" a couple of months before our anniversary - what a shame - had to get a new upgraded model!!

Many thanks for all your heartfelt replies. I really do feel blessed that DH was not seriously or permanently impaired. The imperfect-ness of the trip really was secondary.

I now lean towards keeping the original engraving, making sure Tiffany spells it right this time.

Peeky: my daughters have already said they'd be glad to take the mis-spelled one off my hands. But, alas, Tiffany must MELT IT - they cannot even sell it at a discount (oohh, the pain.....).

Now, let me quell the baby rumors right here! We love our three kids, but our "baby" just turned 16 years old and we're waayyy too old to start over, lol!

<i><b>We'll always not have Paris</b></i>

OK - have a nice anniversary with your nice husband. I believe the others are right in that you are both well and happily married - that is enough.

If I promise to give you 5 free sessions of hypnotherapy to help you forget your Paris experience, can I have your DH????? How about 10?

I'm not sure I'd have Tiffany's change it at all. Years ago some marketing company decided not to fight KFC's greasiness, but rather to play it up as a good thing: Finger-licking good. Thorns on a rose.... The incorrect engraving can represent France...a mix of good and bad...but the beauty and the circle-with-no-beginning-and-no-end represents your husband's love for you.

OK, so I'm sentimental...I have a feeling your husband &quot;resembles that remark.&quot;

sal

I think it should say whatever you want -- but May I make a suggestion?

&quot;We survived 20 years in the US AND 3 weeks France. Happy Anniversary, Honey&quot;

Personally, (and seriously this time), you might as well put France on there, as you will always link it anyway, and who knows, maybe someday you'll look back on it with less difficulty.

Happy anniversary, Aggie. Your DH sounds like a gem.

Jules