where to bring elderly mother in Europe?
 

After reading this site and trying to research on my own, I feel I need a little help. I am taking my mother on a vacation for 6 days in September 2006. I am looking for something relatively easy to navigate in a guided fashion. I have never really done an escorted tour but I think this is what my mother would prefer. Last spring, I took her to Rome and Paris and we travelled my way - which thoroughly exhausted my mother to the point she did not enjoy herself as much as I wanted her to. My mother is a little tough because she does not have specific things she likes to do. She did not seem to like Rome but that may have been miles of walking on cobble stone streets and sites that did not mean much to her (although I love Rome! Second time there). She loved the Eiffel Tour and Versailles. I was thinking about Ireland but I would want an escorted tour. Any other thoughts? I know this is a vague question, but I need a little help. Thanks!

Ya know - I wouldn't do a guided tour. If your Mom has a bad day, or needed to sleep in, or just wanted to relax or take it easy one day - wouldn't be possibe.

But I also wouldn't rush from place to place on our own either,

I would rent a nice apartment or cottage for the full time and use it as a base to do short day trips at you rown pace.

For instance in the UK - you could rent a cottage on the coast of Devon or Cornwal and visit all the nearby villages/beaches/gardens/castles - but have a comfy cottage to return to each afternoon.

Or in the Cotswolds. Or in SW Ireland. Or in Edinburgh. Or just about anywhere.

I would NOT drag her on a tour.

Is there more to this than you have mentioned? If she does not like specific things to do, why do you want/feel like taking her to Europe?

For example, we take our elderly parents on trips. They only have few specific things to do. While they have never admitted, we have figured out that what they want is a family time together. The setting, then, is immaterial as long as they are not uncomfortable. The destination is only a context to have a family time together.

Once we figured this out (for them), we have gotten much better at choosing destinations suitable for them.

What's her ancestry? Would that interest her more if she comes from English stock or German, etc.?

How old is your mother? (I only ask because we recently had a post from someone else trying to take their "elderly" mother around Europe--and it turned out Mom was only in her 50s!!).
If she is over 70, she might like Vienna. There are many things to see within the city and it's easy to get around by mass transit. Also, she will be among many people her own age--Vienna has lots of active elderly out and about every day in cafes, restaurants, shops, etc.
When my 70-something parents made their last trip together to London a few years ago, they kept commenting on how young everyone was and how everyone was constantly rushing around. They felt out of place (this wasn't their first visit to London).

My mother also really enjoyed our trip to Baden-Baden, Germany, and then down to Lugano in the Italian part of Switzerland. Again, lots to see and do without a huge amount of physical exertion (lake cruises, funicular rides, scenic trains, spas), beautiful scenery, good food, etc.

If your Mom really wants to do a tour, then look into one. But ask her if she would prefer a tour or merely an independent trip with you that doesn't involve so many "forced marches."

You should really think about a cruise,then she could stay on board at a port if she wanted to while you go off exploring.

Are you taking this trip in September 2006 (a month away) or 2007?

Hate to state the obvious, but have you asked her where she would like to go? I've started taking my mom along with us (we pretend we need a babysitter - it's the only way I can get her to go - we have yet to leave her alone with the little fellow on any trip, but so what). Until this year, she had never been to Europe. We took her to Italy.

I thought that she would like to hit what I think of as the favorites (at least some of mine) - England and France. Started trying to plan a London or Paris/Amsterdam trip for November thinking she would like that. Amsterdam was a yes, London and Paris no. Then, she surprised me with the statement that she wants to go to Switzerland! Not on my top 5 list of places I want to go (not that I don't want to go there, there are just other places I want to see first). So, we're now looking into renting a villa on Lake Como and combining that with a trip to Switzerland.

I think most major metropolitan areas have a sort of hop on/hop off bus. Sounds like that might be good for your mom. Figure out where she wants to go first, then figure out how to see it. I think you can pretty much travel however you want wherever you go. Have fun and keep her going as much as you can!

My mother despises any place with rough cobblestones, not that she walks much anymore. I now drive her around as much as possible with, yes, casino stops. I actually plan destinations in terms of where the casinos are. Last week turned out to be a tour of Divonne-les-Bains, Evian, Annecy and Annemasse, all because they have plenty of 20 cent slot machines.

Hi J,

Escorted tours tend to be the sort that require you to have your bags packed and ready for pickup at 07:00.

This might be worse than your overplanned, rushed run through Paris and Rome. :)

How about a slower pace through the Benelux countries?

Prague and Vienna?

Vienna and Budapest?

((I))

If you don't mind the price........try Tauck Tours. They cater to the "older traveler".

We have been on 5 Tauck Tours over the past 13 years (I am 59 and my wife is 49) and we are usually the youngest of the group. But, this tour company is really great if you don't want to plan anything and go first class.

Thanks for the suggestions - you have been really helpful. I guess I did not expect an easy answer but I have a few more things to think about. Just so you know, I have asked where my mother would like to go. She wants to see the world but feels she does not know what there is to see, so she does not have specifics in mind. Her only request was Paris and we did that. We actually did the hop on-hop off bus in Paris after realizing that Rome was too much walking for her - and she admitted she would prefer a trip where she is dropped off in front of the site and is picked up in the same place. The hop on-off bus was actually VERY slow and came so sporadically that we spent half of our day waiting for the bus and ended up seeing many things two or three times because the different loops overlapped so much. Hence I thought a guided tour would be for her although not necessarily my style. I think part of what she is looking for is seeing what is out there in the world, part of what she wants is to see things she has heard of, and part of it is to brag to her friends that her daughter took her on vacation somewhere nice. I felt the need to pack alot into the trip because she has the mentality she is only going to see something once - she wants to see something different on the next vacation. This all sounds weird, I know. And I am partly hindered by my own work schedule which is not as conducive to lengthy trips. I still have some more thinking to do...

Hi, my parents are quite old now and my mother especially has mobility problems so any sort of long walk is out but they did adore Ireland. Rented house and car and no set itinery. They're early eighties.

I would rent an apartment and rent a car and solve the problem that way.

Took my (slightly arthritic) Mum to Scotland at 82 and to Rome and Florence at age 83, very slowly.... She loved best the times when we sat and people watched and chatted about what we were seeing and how much she would enjoy sharing it with her pals.

She enjoyed brief visits, not too much walking, at the famous sites. She hated the bus tours which meant she had to keep up with others (stressful!) . She liked shopping in what my husband would have dismissed as tourist traps...

Do not avoid the cliches if your Mum has not done much travelling. We talked about that trip many times and I heard her brag to others: "My daughter took me to my family home in Aberdeen", "I actually saw the Sistine Chapel", "I ate gelato in Rome on my 83rd birthday".

We lost Mum last spring at 90 and she was still boasting about her travels and I am so very grateful I had the opportunity to take her.

Have you considered a European river cruise? Those offered by Grand Circle Tours (ignore any nasty posts by samting) are designed for older travellers, going at a comfortable pace and allowing participants to do as much or as little as they want.

What about Venice? That's fairly easy to negotiate, IMO, and should go down well in the well-known places that would impress your mother's friends.

Does she have any interest in seeing whatever country her ancestors came from?

It's hard to see "the sights" of big cities without quite a bit of walking.

My own mom would appreciate scenery more than cities. I would rent a car and take her through Germany - castles, rivers, the Black Forest, etc.

How about the Italian or Swiss lakes. The boat services are great and provide plenty of interest from scenery and people watching, usually with lots to do [or even just cafe-sitting] within a short distance of the quay. also I think a hotel would be more restful for you than self-catering, and you could leave your mum in a restful corner while you went off by yourself for a bit. The more luxurious the better. a nice Italian lakeside hotel would just fit the bill!

If she likes to brag to her friends, how about Buckingham Palace and the Tower of London, Big Ben and Dickens House -- and so on and so forth? She'll recognize everything. I still get a kick out of hearing Big Ben chime.

You could book individual tours in London rather than 6 days of organized touring. Depending on the weather you could do a day trip to someplace else. Shakespeare's home? Stonehenge?

Or:

I've never been to Vienna, but perhaps given her enjoyment of Versailles, all that glitz and glass will make an impression.