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When your travel companions are not as excited as you are

When your travel companions are not as excited as you are

Old Apr 6th, 2003, 03:50 AM
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When your travel companions are not as excited as you are

Just read the thread about "jaw dropping" sites. I feel like so many of the responders at many sites. I can stand for many minutes just gazing at various beautiful places when I travel. Traveling gives me a high like nothing else. My problem is most of the time the people I'm traveling with are like, "ya, that's nice" when I'm more like "oh my god!". I've traveled with (on various different trips) with my husband, two teenage daughters and a friend.

So my question - if you can't find a travel companion who enjoys it as much as you do, is it more enjoyable to go alone, or do you just accept that your travel companion is the way they are?
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Old Apr 6th, 2003, 04:30 AM
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I spent a week once in london with a good friend, who the whole time there, as we went sightseeing in the city, wore a pair of earphones listening to latin music.
there was little comment about anything from my friend about the places we visited. i didnt think the music provided any appropriate accompaniment to the sights either.
i was thinking...well..we might as well be strolling through Sears for all the reaction im getting.
however.......over the years...my friend has continually talked about the trip and the sights...excitedly reliving the sights and atmosphere. totally in love with london and the memories of our trip.
who would have known?
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Old Apr 6th, 2003, 04:39 AM
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Hi Isabel,

When you've traveled with your family or friend is there anything that excites them during the trip? Maybe they're enthused about different things than you are, i.e., one person may be more attracted to natural beauty, another to artwork in museums, another to just wandering around the streets. In your own awe are you overlooking times when they are excited because it's not your type of excitement? Also, some people simply don't verbalize their interest but you can see it in their manner.

If the above is not applicable, then I would just accept that travel is a part of your life that's very important to you and not as important to them. Do your travel companions detract from your enjoyment? If they don't take anything away from your enjoyment then I would "go with the flow" and maybe someday their enthusiasm level will increase. In the meantime enjoy your trips your own way and travel with your family as long as your companions don't become negative.

Adrienne


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Old Apr 6th, 2003, 05:02 AM
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Depending on your comfort level, you might find that traveling alone is more enjoyable - at least occassionally. My husband and I learned that he doesn't enjoy Europe the way I do - I like to stop the car & explore on a whim, climbing a mountain if the mood grabs me or exploring a quaint town all afternoon. I am also an avid photographer, which bores my husband to tears after a while. So - we do some vacations together and I am starting to do some alone. I've had friends and co-workers start asking about my vacation plans, saying that they might join me -- I hope they never really follow through, because I'll have to come up with a gentle way to explain that I'd rather go alone. I've come to realize that many people don't share my passion for this type of travel, and I'd rather be alone than have the experience diminished because my traveling companion is bored.
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Old Apr 6th, 2003, 06:37 AM
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People are individuals. Accept them as they are--no two people have exactly the same life experiences, so they will not have the same reactions to all stimuli. But you can still share with them what excites you. Example--my wife loves Renaissance art; I don't. I can appreciate the skill involved, but the art does not impact my heart and soul. So when we go to a museum featuring such art, she'll spend hours while I look a few and head off somewhere else. But I enjoy listening to her tell me about what she likes about the art, and she enjoys hearing about what I like.
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Old Apr 6th, 2003, 06:50 AM
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You can also go with your family, but split off for the day and meet up for dinner, where you can talk about what everyone did and saw. Some together time and some apart time can keep a family happy on vacation or at home.
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Old Apr 6th, 2003, 08:28 AM
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We have a couple of friends who knew we traveled to Europe a lot who were just dying to go with us when we were going to visit Germany, Austria and italy with in 1996. We were at Neuschwanstein early in the trip (I had been there before a couple of times and it was a beautiful day). We had already spent a couple of days in Rothenburg. Well, he takes out his video camera and starts espousing what a beautiful day it is. He then said, "Up on the hill is a big castle called....quot; He turns to me and asked the name of the castle. I answered. He was going to start up again, and he turned to me again and said, "By the way Tom, what country are we in?" Yeah, that was jaw dropping in a negative way. I knew at that point my wife and I would be trying to escape from them often during this trip. On the good side, my buddy, who I met in college too many years ago, and his wife joined us on a trip to Italy in 2001, and the time was magical. I guess the moral of the story is: Choose your traveling mates wisely.
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Old Apr 6th, 2003, 11:25 AM
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Interesting. This sounds exactly like my brother when he is around me and other people. If I am excited about something, and he knows it, he will always try to down play it. Some people feel like they can control a situation if they counter act you and control the mood.

Next time do not show your excitement outwardly. I will bet the other person will show more excitement about the site or location.
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Old Apr 6th, 2003, 11:51 AM
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"Next time do not show your excitement outwardly."

I respectully disagree. I AM excited when I go see new and wonderful places. No matter if it's in Europe, the USA or anywhere, I don't mind showing my excitement and passion, whether it be looking at an historic monument or feasting on an incredible dinner. As I said, the people who we went with in 2001 shared our passion, and we'll travel with them again someday. I had dinner at a restaurant above Positano, and the couple at the next table (not with us, thank God) were boorish and rude. The four of us tried to converse in Italian with the waitress, who happened to have studied in the U.S. and was the daughter of the owners. She was so happy with our enthusiam that she invited me in the kitchen to have a picture taken with her sister and mama (the chefs). Our passion made for a memorable moment. Those who travel without passion miss those moments, and I feel sorry for them because they will never truly appreciate their travels. Why hide your emotions?
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Old Apr 6th, 2003, 12:15 PM
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maitaitom, Isabel is asking about problems with people who she travels with. Not about how exited she is about where she is visiting. My suggestion has to do with dealing with travel companions, and getting along with them when they are being difficult. Travel is also a social thing, and you have to know how to travel with a person who doesn't get it or appreciate it.
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Old Apr 6th, 2003, 12:24 PM
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Well, then my answer is still the same. If Isabel wants to get excited, she should show it if she feels that way. If her traveling companion "doesn't get it", that's their problem. I'm not a psychologist (nor do I play one on TV), however hiding your emotions doesn't seem to be healthy or (more importantly) fun, in my mind.
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Old Apr 6th, 2003, 02:28 PM
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I guess I am fortunate in never having this experience... because I most often travel solo, or have had the good luck of having similarly minded travel partners.

My suggestion would be to try it solo once, if that's of interest (to Isabel) because I love the freedom it gives, and you never have to compromise about where you go, what you see, when you eat, etc.

Second to that if you are traveling with others, just split up when you are interested in different things. Often I'd rather sit on a park bench or drink wine in a cafe, while my partner takes the Paris Metro all over creation (for example! LOL).
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Old Apr 6th, 2003, 04:16 PM
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Without knowing more about your companions, it's hard to diagnose their seeming lack of enthusiasm. As others have said, they may simply not be as capable of expressing emotion as you are.

Other ideas: Would they feel comfortable splitting off from you for the day and doing what they really wanted to do, should that happen to be different from what you wanted to do?

Do they do anything to 'get them in the mood' before the trip, say by watching videos of films set in Europe, to say nothing of advance reading?

Are they more or less in shape when they travel? Are they getting enough rest and so forth? Fatigue could turn an otherwise enthusiastic traveler into a zombie.

Best of luck.
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Old Apr 6th, 2003, 05:21 PM
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I have this same exact problem. My husband really couldn't care less about traveling. I've asked him before if I can just go by myself but he doesn't ever want me to.

I don't hide my emotions when I'm awestruck by a place, scenery, artwork, etc. On the other hand, my husband always stays reserved and nonchalant. At first, it bothered me that he didn't have the same reaction but in time, I've learned to accept it. As long as he is not miserable during our travels then I can tolerate his non-reaction.
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Old Apr 6th, 2003, 06:34 PM
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Nobody knows Isabel's companions, maybe they are not emotionally stunted individuals but just have different personalities and aren't shrieking "oh my god" at things. Unless somebody really is not enjoying themselves and saying so or refusing to go places or do things, I don't think it's appropriate to criticize others' personalities or ways of expressing themselves because it's different than your own. Some people with very loud or nonstop talking or excitably can be annoying to people who are just quieter and calmer. I don't think people should base their enjoyment on others' reactions or be dependent on others like that.
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Old Apr 6th, 2003, 08:34 PM
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I go to Europe two or three times a year. I always go for three weeks at a time. A friend of mine went with me on my first trip years ago and was ready to go home after a week. My wife has zero interest in going to Europe so I always go alone. I have found that when you travel alone you don't really want to be alone so you make much more effort to meet people and make friends then you would if you were traveling with someone. I often meet people as I travel and spend a day or two doing day trips from my base city. I have met a lot of great people this way and had a lot of fun. Going to Budapest, Amboise (Loire Valley) and Paris in May. Anyone want to day trip?

Best regards
Larry J
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