What's your experience travelling solo as a woman? Treated well?
 

As i just came back from Rome & Florence (travelling solo), i was interested in hearing about other women's adventures alone and how they were treated. <BR>Did you find any difference in the way you were treated because you were solo? <BR>Interested to hear your story. <BR>

Why not tell your story FIRST?

Always! I was never treated differently traveling solo than I was was when traveling with family or friends. <BR> <BR>I had once, in my first time in Paris, a problem with a man, I believe, from Iran. I was mistaken by a hooker, but then I was walking along Bv. St. Denis, and was unaware that the place was "their" place. Since the man barely spoke French, I couldn't get rid of him for about an hour. It was scary, but I learned my lesson, which is getting well informed about the places I intend to visit before I go.

I have never really had any problems. On my first solo to Paris one man did decide to attempt to pick me up. I "invented" a husband who was meeting me for dinner! That worked, but the man did kiss me first! Just made me burst out laughing! <BR> <BR>I am more careful and do use a money belt on all my solo trips, but since most of my friends are married or not as easily bored as I am this works best!

The only problems I've ever had related to being solo, not to being a woman. That is, I had a fair amount of difficulty one night in Oslo finding a restaurant that would seat a solo diner; there had been a marathon that day and larger parties were easy to come by. Likewise, owing to large crowds I would not have been able to get a table in the Pump Room in Bath this year (and this on a Wednesday in March) without enduring a longer wait than I decided was worthwhile. <BR> <BR>But I've had many enjoyable conversations with men as well as women I've met by chance in Europe, Asia and South America and never felt threatened or in danger because I'm a woman. Being very tall undoubtedly helps, but I think it's largely a matter of projecting confidence, being street smart, and knowing how to say "No" calmly but firmly.

I think I am treated better as a single woman than when I am with a man. I was in Europe last year with my brother, who looks nothing like me, and many people assumed he was my husband. Gak! No freebies, no fabulous service, no wonderful travel tips (except from one lovely older gentleman in Paris) while I was walking with my bro. So every so often we would part company and wander solo, and my world would open up just by virtue of not standing with a man.

I travelled alone through Europe in 1994. At the time I was a skinny Goth girl with pale skin and flaming dyed red hair with matching lipstick (*Rosenatti sighs at the memory, contemplates her current excess poundage, fashion retardation and encroaching gray hair, and sighs again*). one of my favorite memories is crossing the Italian border and having two fabulously handsome carabinieri arrive in my train compartment asking to see my passport. Well, my passport was deep in my money belt, which was tucked deep in my (tight) black jeans. So I plunged my hands south and wiggled and maneuvered and unzipped as the two fabulously handsome carabinieri (2fhc for short) stood there, watching and grinning, in their Armani-designed uniforms. "Bella!" one whispered by way of encouragement. I finally produced the passport, wrinkled and a little warped. The 2fhc peered at it, then at me. "You," said one in English, handing it back with a smile that showed his incredibly straight, white and somewhat lupine teeth, "are a fire lady." <BR> <BR>Oh, oh, oh. (*fans herself, drunk with the memory.*)

Rosenatti, I just want you to know that when I read your post, I was almost moved to tears! What a wonderful memory to have of yourself and your travels!! Someday, I want men (preferably, from all over) to reflect on exciting memories of me with faraway wistfulness, as they speak of me to the more domestic hausfrau on the other side of the hearth.

Since I almost always travel solo, I couldn't tell any difference,and never felt being mistreated.

Now, is *that* what went wrong this last trip? Fodorites, I think we are on to something. <BR> <BR>There I was, wherever we went, surrounded by my three big guys (two teen boys and T). And now that I think of it, it was only when I went out toute seule that I got that *special* wink from the doorman... <BR> <BR>Which reminds me of the time we went to La Place de la Concorde to watch a portion of the finish of the Tour de France a few years ago. The boys and T had wandered off for drinks and had been gone about ten minutes. During that time, a rather dashing young frenchman came and stood next to me and began to talk about the race. He had a folding chair, which he offered to let me stand on for a better view. Seeing no harm in it, I accepted, whereupon he grabbed me by the waist and whisked me off my feet with great gallantry, placing me on top of the chair. Needless to say, I was surprised, but I had a great view. <BR> <BR> <BR>T was rather bemused when he and the boys came back, and the dashing french guy for some reason didn't want to strike up a conversation with him. Gee, and here I though we were all just sports enthusiasts.

I travelled solo for 3.5 months through Europe in 1999 and twice so far in France this year for 2 weeks a piece. I also travel throughout the US solo. I have never encountered any problems and have made friends because I am by myself - have been invited to stay at people's homes due to the conversations I had while travelling! I travelled with a guy friend for 5 days in Paris once - I find that when you're alone people approach you and you approach them more readily. I am interested to hear your story. When I was in Italy I found most of the gentlemen to be sooo wonderful and attentive (most, not all!). I loved the post from R - rather than being moved to tears, I almost fell off my chair from laughing so hard! What a great story! :)

There must be other good stories out there.... <BR>anyone else? <BR>

Few years ago, while travelling by bus in Devon, I asked the bus driver to drop me somewhere on the route near the entrance of a famous garden. We started to chat about things,the topic came to dogs. Everyone on board had a lovely discussion. Suddenly, the driver realized that he had passed the entrance about 10 minutes ago.He got the permission from everyone, turned the bus around,and drove me back to the garden.

I travelled solo for a good many trips to Italy in the past and recently went back to Europe with a friend. I did notice a difference, and regreted that I didn't have more of a chance to mingle with the locals. <BR> <BR>However, one day on this recent trip while I had some time to myself, I found myself walking down the Quai in Paris, and a labour demonstration was about to begin. The police in Paris really don't mess around, and had the bridges blocked off, as well as about 50 riot police blocking off the Quai. I walked up to the riot police and asked If I could pass. They parted like the red sea, and I had never felt so many eyes on me at one time before! All I could think of was - what every you do girl, don't trip! Next trip I'm going back alone...

I love traveling alone. I first toured Europe solo in 1984. I don't think there is a better way to immerse yourself in a culture. I always met people, hooked up with other travelers etc. <BR> <BR>It can be trying because you are dealing with the pressures of a new culture, maybe some alienation because this is not your culture and you don't have a partner to bounce your frustrations off. I think sometimes this can put you in a defensive mode. I was just thinking about this the other night, how I took things too personally alone. If I was with others they would tell me to get a grip and I would laugh it off. Nevertheless, I find the benefit of traveling alone just so outweighs anything you might experience when you are alone. <BR> <BR>Let's see I did Europe alone in 84, Ireland Scotland 93, Turkey 91, Egypt 92, relationship here. Hawaii 01. (last place not so good for solo travel). I have to tell you when I am in a serious relationship the first thing I get sad about is not being able to travel alone. You just talk with more people than you would if you were with another person. <BR> <BR>I do feel vulnerable from time to time but I live in NYC so most people learn pretty darn quickly that they can't jksfks with me. That was a joke, I am careful and I am not shy at all about putting someone in his or her place if they are inappropriate with me. <BR> <BR>I think regardless of travel if you ever notice restaurant service can be poor when you are eating alone. I have seen men alone getting this same shlocky service so I think it is more about being alone than female and alone. <BR> <BR>I don't know I guess the way I am treated differently is that I am approachable and meet far more people when I am alone. So yes I am treated differently but in a good way. One of the best experiences in my life so far has been traveling alone and this is the truth. Try it and you will see what I mean. It teaches you to rely on yourself and when you do it in an exotic destination it makes you feel like the world is yours!!!! <BR>

Good Story Jane

Kalena, I told my sister about your Tour de France story and she wanted to know if the dashing Frenchman wanted to get his chair back when T returned to your side. hee hee

Ah Rosenatti - You'll always have Italy!! Great stories. I've traveled solo in Italy, Germany and England and greatly enjoyed it. I've met people from all over and never felt uncomfortable. I agree with xxxx - you are more approachable when you're alone. People strike up conversations with you and you strike up conversations with them. I don't recall receiving poor service in any restuarants. In fact, while in Rome, the waiter sat me at an adjoining table with another solo American traveler. He lived about 200 miles from me so we spent an enjoyable evening talking and sightseeing.

I have a nice memory from Greece, years ago. Actually, I was not alone on that trip, but my companion was napping back in the hotel. It was my first afternoon in Athens, my first-ever afternoon in Europe actually. I stopped to admire the flowers outside a shop, and the owner, who was outside bundling up bunches of flowers, asked me in a combination of English and Greek if my "husband" often bought me flowers. I replied "not often enough!", at which point the gentleman scooped a small bunch of blue flowers I didn't recognize and he gave them to me. <BR>And that was my first encounter with a European "knight". The flower, I later learned was companula, which I only ever see in European shops, not in the US, but since then it has always brought back that memory. <BR> <BR>I've never felt badly treated when traveling alone, I just think the logistics can be much harder (watching the luggage, waiting in lines, bathroom stops, etc)and of course you lose the fun of sharing the experience. On the other hand, I get to do exactly what I want, when I want, and I feel more motivated to meet people (asking them to take a picture of me, etc) <BR>I still haven't gotten over feeling <BR>conspicuous in restaurants at dinner time, but I do force myself to deal with it--I'm the only one who's really thinking about it. I've never been badly treated in a restaurant when alone.

One of my first trips to London, took the Airbus from Heathrow. I was the only one left aboard, so the bus driver drove me to my hotel. <BR> <BR>In Bordeaux, I met a husband/wife/baby team at dinner. We had a terrific time, but mom & baby were exhausted. He asked if he could meet me at a cafe after he got the family back to the hotel - all on the up-and-up as his wife was involved in the conversation. We had a lovely evening, sitting outside and drinking coffee. <BR> <BR>Tours, dinnertime - I'm the first person in the restaurant so they sit me in the window. I order trout, knowing full well what I'd get, but the waiters figured this American gal would be aghast and gathered behind the bar to watch. Out comes Mr Fish, intact, and I get the butter knife and tablespoon and dispatch that sucker in no time. From that point forward, I had the waiters practically groveling at my feet. <BR> <BR>A couple of times I've been hit on, but "I've got friends waiting for me, gotta run!" seems to work well. <BR> <BR>When traveling alone, I have experiences different from when I travel with others...not better, not worse, just different...

I travel regularly in the USA for business - most of the time alone -and when I have business in an interesting place, often take a day or two to explore. I've been to Europe several times with family and/or friends, and looking forward to my first solo trip this November. I can't wait!!! The thought of not having to compromise on doing exactly what I want to do and when I want to do it is so exciting. Thanks to all of you solo women travelers who have shared your experiences - you have helped me to feel confident about my trip.

to the top.

So glad to read these stories! <BR>I am definitely returning to italy next yr!! <BR>I just can not get it out of my mind. <BR>I had originally planned a week solo trip, but <BR>My friend Ellen, who joined my family in Italy in july,( after soon to be ex-husband left) wants to do a trip every yr with me now. <BR>She would like to do switzerland. <BR>But, I can not go all the way there, and not be in Italy. <BR>so, I will plan 3-4 days for myself, in italy. <BR> <BR>You all give me inspiration! <BR> <BR>

Pam, <BR>did you find Rome a bit difficult to be alone in at night? <BR>I do not mean "safety wise", cause I felt safe walking around by myself at night there. <BR>I mean, did it feel too lonely ? <BR>Everyone is sitting, talking, walking with at least another person in the evening. <BR>I enjoyed time alone, during the day, but the two times I went out in the evening, alone, it FELT lonely. <BR> <BR>Was this because I was in italy, on the "trip of a life-time" with my family, knowing that 2 days after returning from the states, my husband would be moving out!! <BR>I will not have that hanging over my head this upcoming trip. Thank goodness! <BR> <BR>So, am just curious about how you viewd Rome at night. <BR>

Nancy: I was alone in Rome and Florence in June and, although I do a lot of lone travelling, I do sometimes feel conspicuous dining alone at night. Of all the countries I've visited I'd say Italy is one of the easiest for lone female travellers to dine out alone. First night, having arrived in Rome at about 8.30pm I was hungry and went straight out to a restaurant. I was greeted like a long lost daughter, the waiters managed to both give me space yet continually chatted so I didn't feel lonely (how did they manage that?) plus I got chatting to the Americans on one side and the Italians on the other. The owner even gave me some coins to throw in the Trevi when I asked him to change a note - "have a wish on me!" he said returning the note. I dined out every night, never felt lonely and was even invited on two separate nights to dine with with first a lone Italian lady and another night with a lone Italian man. Both were very pleasant. I'd love to say I'm young, gorgeous and thin but actually I'm in my late 40's. <BR> <BR>At the Trevi I admit I was among seemingly thousands of young loving couples, but it was still fun. The guy in the couple next to me was taking pics of his girlfriend so I offered to take a photo of both of them, to which he enthusiastically agreed (guess I don't look like a thief). I then must have spent the next 20 minutes taking pics of practically every couple in the vicinity! David Bailey would have been envious! Go and have fun. Life's what you make of it!

I have travelled a decent amount both alone and with someone, and think both have major upsides. I have never been mistreated as an american 20-something woman travelling alone in Europe, and like many others have said, I think sometimes you benefit from the experience. When I was younger, and a little more on the wild side, I had my share of crazy, wild, European affiars that were short, but oh so sweet.

I almost always travel alone and I love it. The book that inspired me is, "A Journey of One's Own: Uncommon Advice for the Independent Woman Traveler" by Thalia Zepatos. <BR> <BR>Here's a copy of one review: "A Journey of One's Own was written for women who long to travel but are a little hesitant about facing the open road alone. Author Thalia Zepatos has traveled by camel across the Thar Desert, hitchhiked along the Malay Peninsula, and trekked the high country of Nepal, and in this book she offers advice, encouragement, and wisdom to the women she hopes will follow in her footsteps. Zepatos recognizes that female travelers face challenges that their male counterparts seldom experience: sexual harassment, safety and health concerns, and cultural attitudes are a real part of any woman's travel experience. She also believes that women experience travel differently from men, and she sees the "global sisterhood of women" as a positive, ready-made opportunity for women to interact with whatever culture in which they find themselves. <BR> <BR>Travel essays by women alternate with chapters on practical matters such as traveling alone, finding a compatible travel companion, planning your itinerary, and staying safe and healthy; as an added bonus, there's a list of resources that covers a variety of topics, from travel books and magazines to Internet service providers and socially/environmentally responsible travel opportunities. So, stop dreaming and start planning that fantasy trip with A Journey of One's Own." <BR>

Michelle, <BR>thanks for the words. <BR>I think Rome is a bittersweet place for me right now, due to the marital issues. <BR>I am returning to Italy, spring 2003, for my 50th B-day. <BR>I will be traveling with 2 best friends, and one sister. <BR>(This trip has been planned for over two yrs now) <BR>I love rome so much, I am taking us all there for part of the trip. <BR>And by then, I will be PAST feeling occasional melancholy that I associate with this trip. <BR>So, rome can wait for 20 months, <BR>I think I will try a new area, <BR>Venice, or Bologna or Parma. <BR>I love your sentence, <BR>"Life is what you make of it" <BR>so true, and that is why I am smiling, laughing, eating, talking,hanging with my children. and generally enjoying myself, regardless of what my husband is doing. <BR>and it is also why we had such a great time in italy, even with all that hanging over my head. <BR> <BR>I will enjoy every minute of my solo voyage. <BR>and since I love to talk to "strangers" and meet new people, I am sure I will not feel lonely, even if I am alone! <BR>

Topping for Legs.

Now you are going to stir up that [email protected] again. Please, no, not that.