What to wear: Pakistani wedding in London
Aug 5th, 2006, 05:34 PM
#1
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What to wear: Pakistani wedding in London
Normally, I don't know worry about what to wear in Europe, but we've just been invited to a Pakistani wedding to take place near London and this time I'm stumped. It will take place in mid-September, so the weather could be warm and sunny or cold and rainy.
I'm thinking about getting something from Nitya http://www.nitya-paris.com/index_home.htm or from Sahara www.saharalondon.co.uk
I'd like something flowing and comfortable in layers I can add or subtract according to weather or festivities.
Has anyone been to a big British/Pakistani wedding? What was it like? Gift ideas would be welcome too...we're thinking of crystal candleholders from Val St. Lambert or perhaps a nice bowl, vase or crystal water carafe (they don't drink, so no wine glasses). I will be in Brussels next week-end and can look at their shop on the Sablon. But other suggestions welcome as well.
Thanks!
I'm thinking about getting something from Nitya http://www.nitya-paris.com/index_home.htm or from Sahara www.saharalondon.co.uk
I'd like something flowing and comfortable in layers I can add or subtract according to weather or festivities.
Has anyone been to a big British/Pakistani wedding? What was it like? Gift ideas would be welcome too...we're thinking of crystal candleholders from Val St. Lambert or perhaps a nice bowl, vase or crystal water carafe (they don't drink, so no wine glasses). I will be in Brussels next week-end and can look at their shop on the Sablon. But other suggestions welcome as well.
Thanks!
Aug 5th, 2006, 10:42 PM
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When people of different cultures are invited to a wedding, as I was in Singapore, they are expected to dress as they normally would for such an event. You should not try to give an "exotic" flavour to your wardrobe for the event; it would give the message that you feel out of place and must use a disguise.
Aug 5th, 2006, 11:59 PM
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The dress code for British Asian weddings can vary, even for non-Asians, from other British weddings. Morning suits are rare and, if most female guests are wearing shalwar khameez, hats might look odd. The whole thing is further complicated if the ceremomy itself is at a (I assume) mosque and if you've been invited to that too, or just to the bop
Given the infinite nuances involved, the right thing will vary from wedding to wedding, The crucial principle is neither seem to offend the event nor to outdo the bride's mother. Phone the person who's been responsible for your invitation and ask what the other non-Asians will be wearing.
Since some of the subtleties in all this are beyond most men, you should make the call even if your connection with the wedding is through your husband. But don't forget to check that lounge suits are expected for men, just in case you've happened on a morning suit do.
Given the infinite nuances involved, the right thing will vary from wedding to wedding, The crucial principle is neither seem to offend the event nor to outdo the bride's mother. Phone the person who's been responsible for your invitation and ask what the other non-Asians will be wearing.
Since some of the subtleties in all this are beyond most men, you should make the call even if your connection with the wedding is through your husband. But don't forget to check that lounge suits are expected for men, just in case you've happened on a morning suit do.
Aug 6th, 2006, 03:19 AM
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I doubt that most women will be wearing shalwar khameez. Saris are more formal dress. There will also be some spectacular jewellery.
I think that I'd go for something that isn't a sari, but is as sari-like as you can get, something silky and floating.
I just had a look at Nitya and some of their things look just right.
The wedding will be spectacular, possibly with singers and dancers and drummers to signal the arrival of the bride.
I think that I'd go for something that isn't a sari, but is as sari-like as you can get, something silky and floating.
I just had a look at Nitya and some of their things look just right.
The wedding will be spectacular, possibly with singers and dancers and drummers to signal the arrival of the bride.
Aug 6th, 2006, 04:05 AM
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Hi BT,
It was a while ago, and in DC not London, that we attended a Pakistani wedding, complete with groom riding in on a white horse.
Those of us who were not Pakistani wore what we normally would to a wedding in DC.
It was a while ago, and in DC not London, that we attended a Pakistani wedding, complete with groom riding in on a white horse.
Those of us who were not Pakistani wore what we normally would to a wedding in DC.
Aug 6th, 2006, 04:23 AM
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Most South Asians I know delight when outsiders wear saris or silwar kameez and I don't think they would be offended.
Consider choosing something formal enough as the other guests will likely have on heavy/elaborate outfits and jewelery. I would also say that blacks and browns will seem rather boring in the crowd. Especially if you are younger people will love it if you wear something colorful and rich.
The most important elements would be your own comfort level, don't wear something you feel very awkward in, it is likely to be a long day. And ensure that your outfit is modest enough. Even though sari's show the midsection they can often be adjusted not to. I would also not have bare shoulders or plunging neckline.
If you are lucky enough to be invited to a whole days worth of festivities (not just reception) then many people might actually change outfits! Always fun but not required.
It would be totally appropriate to call the person responsible for your invitation and discuss what to wear. At least in Indian/Hindu families, they love to strategize way in advance about outfits. It is part of the fun.
Have fun!
Consider choosing something formal enough as the other guests will likely have on heavy/elaborate outfits and jewelery. I would also say that blacks and browns will seem rather boring in the crowd. Especially if you are younger people will love it if you wear something colorful and rich.
The most important elements would be your own comfort level, don't wear something you feel very awkward in, it is likely to be a long day. And ensure that your outfit is modest enough. Even though sari's show the midsection they can often be adjusted not to. I would also not have bare shoulders or plunging neckline.
If you are lucky enough to be invited to a whole days worth of festivities (not just reception) then many people might actually change outfits! Always fun but not required.
It would be totally appropriate to call the person responsible for your invitation and discuss what to wear. At least in Indian/Hindu families, they love to strategize way in advance about outfits. It is part of the fun.
Have fun!
Aug 6th, 2006, 04:36 AM
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Thanks all. I have no intention of wearing a sari etc, but have always liked the beautifully made clothes from Nitya...they have a shop on Bond Street (and a department at the flagship Inno store in Brussels) and their customers are not just Indians/Pakistanis. I see women wearing outfits from them at restaurants in London and some of the cocktail parties we've been to. I would rewear anything I bought from them for many other occasions. The parents are fairly orthodox (I don't actually know their daughter *that* well), so while I don't want to wear a "costume" I do want to wear something rather conservative. My husband will probably wear his best suit.
We were just invited to the wedding the other day, so have not yet had a chance to find out how big an affair it is or how long it will go on.
We were just invited to the wedding the other day, so have not yet had a chance to find out how big an affair it is or how long it will go on.
Aug 6th, 2006, 06:10 AM
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I once went to an Indian wedding wearing normal American clothes, and I felt pretty out of place (and I'm of Indian extraction.) Everyone else had these gorgeous, colorful clothes...the whole thing was so festive. Usually I wear Indian or Indian-like clothing at these gatherings, so I would suggest that you do that. I think something from that Nitya shop would be fine. It would be nice and flowing like the clothes of the other guests, but you'd still feel comfortable.
Imitation, here in the US I still give (and have received) wedding gifts. Most couples I know have received a combination of cash and gifts.
Imitation, here in the US I still give (and have received) wedding gifts. Most couples I know have received a combination of cash and gifts.
Aug 6th, 2006, 08:02 PM
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Sorry to sidetrack the thread, but about cash present, in the USA, what is the(sort of) standard amount for non-relatives, such as the offspring of business associates or colleagues? One doesn't like to be shabby or ostentatious either.
Aug 6th, 2006, 08:55 PM
#15
No - in the States most couples (unless they have been living together for a long time and have a fully established household) register for what they want/need at various department stores and even places like Lowes. Bridal registries are BIG bisiness.
Where I live, cash is considered semi-bad form unless you are part of the family. Around here a cash gift from a business associate would be pretty unusual/odd.
Where I live, cash is considered semi-bad form unless you are part of the family. Around here a cash gift from a business associate would be pretty unusual/odd.
Aug 6th, 2006, 11:31 PM
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IoC is taking the mickey, guys. Don't fall for it
Brenda, I do think you should check teh form, but if the parents are old school the wedding will be mega OTT, and you shold dress as tho' you were going to a Royal wedding. Seriously. You can't blend as part of Muslim culture, so the way to be respectful would be to be as formal as they are, in yours. Sahara looks better to me than Nitya (mind you, no-one in their right mind would take fashion advice from me)
Just remember; no tennis shoes and NO crinkly pink jogging suit
Brenda, I do think you should check teh form, but if the parents are old school the wedding will be mega OTT, and you shold dress as tho' you were going to a Royal wedding. Seriously. You can't blend as part of Muslim culture, so the way to be respectful would be to be as formal as they are, in yours. Sahara looks better to me than Nitya (mind you, no-one in their right mind would take fashion advice from me)
Just remember; no tennis shoes and NO crinkly pink jogging suit
Aug 7th, 2006, 02:04 AM
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I have been invited to a Muslim wedding where they actually had two "dos", one in London and one in Wales.
It's not an occasion for tasteful but restrained.
The women will probably be wearing beautiful silk saris and will be dripping with jewels.
As I and others have said, go for something colourful,silky and floating.
My daughter has several Asian friends and has been invited to a few weddings.
She always wears a sari, but it's not an easy garment to put on unless you can get a tame auntie to help you.
Some of those Sahara items also look suitable.
For gifts, I should ask if the couple have a wedding list at one of the London shops.
It's not traditional, but nowadays many Muslim couples will have one for the sake of their European friends.
In London in September, it should be quite warm although it may rain.
It's not an occasion for tasteful but restrained.
The women will probably be wearing beautiful silk saris and will be dripping with jewels.
As I and others have said, go for something colourful,silky and floating.
My daughter has several Asian friends and has been invited to a few weddings.
She always wears a sari, but it's not an easy garment to put on unless you can get a tame auntie to help you.
Some of those Sahara items also look suitable.
For gifts, I should ask if the couple have a wedding list at one of the London shops.
It's not traditional, but nowadays many Muslim couples will have one for the sake of their European friends.
In London in September, it should be quite warm although it may rain.
Aug 7th, 2006, 03:10 AM
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Uhm that term really isn't acceptable in GB Carrybean 
I believe the description in GB is bunbag? I hope I got that right! But definetly you want to leave that at home too BTilke, lol.
Now that you know what NOT to wear to the wedding dear one, back to what you should wear!!
I believe the description in GB is bunbag? I hope I got that right! But definetly you want to leave that at home too BTilke, lol. Now that you know what NOT to wear to the wedding dear one, back to what you should wear!!
