What to look for in a travelling companion
 

I'm going to be travelling in Europe (including France) this summer. A friend with whom I've never travelled may come along. Before we go I think it'd be good to discuss what our expectations, habits, etc. are to make sure we're compatible. Do any of you have any suggestions on what you'd look for in a travelling companion? Any thoughts are appreciated.

the quick answer: someone who can roll with the punches. <BR> <BR>longer answers: <BR> <BR>having dissimilar tastes is not a bad thing - you will both learn something new (as long as you both are flexible and are willing to take turns on the things you want to see/do) <BR> <BR>a sense of humor is about the most important aspect, IMHO. (well, OK, along with an inquisitive nature and some intelligence (latent or otherwise) and some common sense! throw in some independence, while we are at it - you don't want to be a babysitter. looking out for each other - good. chaperoning a travel partner - bad. <BR> <BR>one of you (at least) should be able to drive a stick shift! (if you are renting a car) <BR> <BR>a high maintenance person is not a fun person, in my opinion. I'm not just talking about cosmetics, either. unless you are both high maintenance - then have at it!

If you really want to find out about a person as a traveling companion, go tent camping with them for about 3 nights. <BR>That will answer the question. <BR>You don't like to tent camp? Perhaps you are the one who needs investigation before going!!!

I'd make a tentative itinerary and show it to them. If you are like me, you'll include no time at all for shopping, but you'll have yourselves up and out of the hotel quite early. Specify the hours you'll be at museums. Throw some budget figures in there to make sure they are not too cheap or loose with their money. If they balk, negotiate or leave them home. If they whine about how they really must see a little of Italy, France, Spain, Germany, England, Greece, and Switzerland in 10 days, run.

I agree with Beth Anderson's answer -- flexibility is key. People who are extremely rigid in their habits and tastes can be very difficult to travel with. <BR> <BR>People who have to know every ingredient in every dish before they will even try it are a real pain, particularly when they don't speak the language and expect the waiter or waitress to recite to them, in English, how everything is prepared. (In case you couldn't tell, I learned this one from experience.) <BR> <BR>By the way, one of my best travelling experiences happened to be with a friend I was afraid wouldn't travel well. In "real" life she can be a whiner. In "life on the road" she was great. What I have learned is that travel brings out the best in some and the worst in others, and you can't always tell in advance how someone will be to travel with.

It's the little things that get you down. As Beth pointed out, different is ok as long as you can make the allowances. <BR> <BR>Seriously, make a list of the things that drive YOU nuts, then check the ones you can do something about (i.e., if snoring drives you nuts, you can wear earplugs); have your potential companion do the same. <BR> <BR>Now, meet in neutral territory (restaurant, or picnic in the park) and calmly discuss everything on your lists. <BR>If you can't work out a lot of the stuff, then ixnay the ompanioncay and go by yourself. <BR> <BR>If you can work out the stuff, then move on to "what do you want to do, what do you expect from the trip?". If you both expect to party all night, great. If one expects to meet a husband, and the other one expects to absorb culture, you're off to a bad start. <BR> <BR>And, finally, decide who plans the trip, makes the arrangements, etc. If you share, then make a list of who does what. If one of you is "me me I wanna do it" and the other is "whatever", then talk about what that means. <BR> <BR>Oh and if your potential traveler is a passive-aggressive? Ignore every bit of advice except for RUN LIKE H**L. <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR>

I suggest reading the "Travel Psrtner Horror Stories" thread. You will learn exactly what you don't want, and therefore have a good idea what you do want.

Someone can swear by the moon and sun and stars that he or she is easy going and loves to do exactly what you like to do. But I recommend a test drive. Try a long weekend trip together before you commit to more than a week on a precious trip to Europe. <BR>Sometimes people don't know themselves very well.

all excellent advice here. <BR>I would add (or repeat), think about the little characteristics and habits that your friend has that drive you crazy. <BR>(of course that works both ways). <BR>Then put those into the context of <BR>24-7. Then add the unfamiliarity, <BR>the excitement, the new foods, the <BR>stresses, jet lag, the upset stomachs, the schedules, the missed trains, the crummy hotel room, the small bathroom, the early mornings and/or the late nights, the being on time vs taking it easy, the lines, the planning vs being spontaneous, the picking-up guys vs keeping to yourselves, the sleeping late vs the early-rising, the walking vs the taxis, the shopping vs museums, and don't forget your respective spending habits when it comes to food, sharing expenses, skipping breakfast vs skipping lunch, having (and paying for) a bottle of wine vs being a tee-totaler, etc. What I mean is,imagine not just the fun, but the worst case scenarios. <BR>I know all this sounds negative, but I've found it's better to forego having someone as a travel companion, rather than having no friendship left by the time you get home.

Spent two months in Europe with a friend (one parked in London, then traveled through parts of France, Italy, Spain) a few years ago. We hadn't traveled together previously, and she had been to some of our destinations before. Since we were going to be together for an extended period, we decided early on to make our own lists of the things we wanted to do in the various cities, etc--although we saw many sights together, we did many more things individually during the day. This way, my tendency for extended visits in the museums didn't clash with her in-and-out style, one of us could sleep in, etc. The night before, or in the AM, however, if we were doing different things, we'd usually decide on a time to meet back at the hotel before dinner, or a place/activity that we'd meet at later on. Worked out great: we had only one major disagreement (my fault), we didn't get sick of each other, and we always had great dinner conversation. Good luck!

Be aware that "travelling together" can mean different things to different people in terms of togetherness and find out what your friend expects. I'm used to travelling alone and would go nuts if my companion expected us to be together all of the time. Other people really want the experience of having a permanent company. <BR>With my favorite travel companions, there are always times during the trip when we say "Okay, today you do what you want and I'll do what I want and let's meet up at the hotel tonight," or even just "I really want to take a walk alone. Let's meet back here in three hours." One day, my companion just wanted to relax in the apartment (we were staying with a friend in Bologna) and did all of our laundry while I was tromping around to a bunch of obscure churches. She was just as happy to have missed yet another 20 zillion chapels as I was to have clean clothes.

Whoops! It looks like I was just repeating what Helen just said, but her message had't been posted when I started composing mine. Anyway, I agree with her entirely -- that's the way to go.

Hi, <BR> <BR>You know, for what this is worth: <BR> <BR>re: money & pooling resources - cuz you know, money and how to spend it can start arguments... <BR> <BR>what worked for me & my bud - we picked up tabs for each other & each kept a rough account of what we spent. (I paid for the car rental, he paid for gas & tolls, I paid for lunch, he dinner, he paid this entrance fee, I another... you get the picture) <BR> <BR>after keeping rough tabs on our outlays, we just compared at the very end - if there was a difference, we had agreed to cover it then. I think it came out pretty close & we called it a wash. <BR> <BR>no, there was no pettiness (I bought the bottle of water for you two days ago - NOT) - it was just the biggies. <BR> <BR>another way to do this, according to Rick Steves - just put equal amounts into a kitty and pay for everything out of that. (not souvenirs, natch). <BR> <BR>

Often, as with the courtship process, people present themselves much differently that they are, and make promises they have no intention of keeping. Not always, but sometimes. Of course, you'll want to discuss everything. But, do spend plenty of time with your potential companion. Essential would be discussions regarding expenses, if you are planning to share. If you spend sufficient time with this person prior to committing to traveling with them, any noticable "warning flags" should be considered.