Oh no - if there's money to be made, the customer still has to speak English - and preferably use Imperial measurements.

Damn right. We could always use the old Britsih negotiating technique of drinking them under the table too.

"I'm absolutely gob smacked.!

Mimi,

How about "twonk"?

http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/twonk

Almost the same as "twit" :-) never met an American who knew what it meant :-)

"You Bumbling Fool"
"Tea Time"
"Oh moi goash"

It was a bit fresh & damp here earlier, but it's raining cats & dogs now & would blow a dog off the chain. Cold? It's brass monkeys! And dark as the inside of a brown dog.
Going to lunch with the architect who is supposed to have the club renovation plans ready, but he wouldn't work in an iron lung or shout if a shark bit him, so I'll have to pay and he won't have anything ready. It'll be boring as a wet week & a complete WOFTAM listening to the great streak of pelican's waffle on until I can bugger off & do something useful. Poor sod, suppose he can't help being some village's lost idiot - but it gives me the irrits that he's useless as a hip pocket in a jockstrap & as Neil says, couldn't organize a wotsit in a brothel on a Saturday night if the Fleet was in town - yet charges like a wounded bull. Not a happy camper and far from chuffed!

I'm sure you get the drift without further explanation - WOFTAM is "waste of time and flaming (choose your own f...) money".
"Streak of Pelican's = tall person ... contracted from "great long streak of pelican poo."

Tootle oo and if you're looking for me later, I'll be up in Annie's Room behind the clock, looking for a wingwam for a goose's bridle.

In my job, I correspond regularly (mainly via email) with my contact in our UK office. When I ask for a status update on an issue, I am told that they will "chase it up". I always envision that they are actually running around in circles, chasing someone!

Bokhara, thanks.

Hmm I use a lot of these expressions all the time. It's fresh here in Nelson New Zealand today that's for sure.

Up here in Yorkshire we say 'Sweating cobs' when someone is visibly very hot.
Also a chap who always seemed fortunate whatever he did was described by my friend as 'someone you could throw in the Donny and he'd come up with a salmon in his mouth'.
The Donny is the local river (Don).
My work colleague comes into work each morning saying she is 'spitting feathers' meaning she is thirsty and wants a cup of tea.
Also 'stick that in your pipe and smoke it'.

well, I'll go to the foot of our stairs.

I'm tempted to start a 'How to speak British' thread...things I've had to learn the few months I've been researching - or is there one already? Link please?

'tariff' = cost
'you all right' = how are you?
'horses for courses' = to each their own
'high street' = place in town where you can find chain or major stores (AA customer service told me I could buy maps on High Street, I asked where that was LOL)

Morgana? Stick it in your pipe and smoke it? and your point is?...... :D Don't worry I was born and bred in and around Bradford, So I do get it. Nice to hear the lingo again x x x

We went to a window restoration workshop here in Massachusetts and while I was talking to the presenter she said "Ee Bah Gum" and it sounded so funny coming from an American, although her accent was nearly perfect - I replied "Ekky Thump"

To the rest of the attendees we must have sounded like 2 oldies sitting in the tap room of a country pub in the Dales :) but we though it was funny. Ha, what can I say? you get your kicks where you can. :D

Alya - are you saying the conversation didn't develop... like this?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GqNGhcdtMbc

"Tootle oo"

That's Franglais, from WWI. "A tout a l'heure"

Similarly "Plonk" for wine. "Blanc".

Brother Bertie went away
To do his bit the other day
With a smile on his lips and his lieutenant ‘pips’
Upon his shoulder, bright and gay.
As the train moved out he said
‘Remember me to all the birds!’
Then he wagged his paw, and went away to war,
Shouting out these pathetic words –

Good-bye-ee! Good-bye-ee!
Wipe the tear, baby dear,
From your eye-ee.
Though it’s hard to part, I know,
I’ll be tickled to death to go.
Don’t cry-ee! Don’t sigh-ee!
There’s a silver lining in the sky-ee.
Bonsoir, old thing!
Cheerio! Chin-Chin!
Napoo! Toodle-oo! Good-Bye-ee!

help. need translations for some of these!

"bollocks' may have to be my fav

TTFN.

Ah, now we're into catchphrases, which is not quite the same thing, perhaps?

I'll fetch me coat.