What does a non-drinker say when offered vino?
 

I am planning my first trip to Tuscany this August for my 20th wedding anniversary. I have been a clean and sober recovered alcoholic for 11 years, and also as a pilot, I choose not to drink alcohol. I notice that everything read about Tuscany revolves around wine...so what do I say to the innkeeper or host that is a polite way to say that no, I do not wish to drink their wine? I am thinking that will be insulting if not handled carefully and with respect.

Hi Av8rdan, that is no problem, just smile and say "no grazie". I have friends in Italy that do not drink wine, it is never a problem. Just order a bottle of water. And enjoy beautiful Italy!

No grazie, bevo un po d'acqua.

Loveitaly - thanks, or should I say grazie? So where would you recommend I go to find out about where to stay in Tuscany? Oh, and do you advise driving over three for someone who has never did the "other side of the road" thing?

sorry, should have said "driving over there" not "driving over three"

You don't have to drink to enjoy Tuscany. There is food too! And some quite nice sights. Take it from someone who drives on the "wrong" side of the road. It is no problem. You will want to have a car though. Tuscany is about the countryside.

Hi AV8rdan, well if you drive over three the Italians might get a bit upset about that, lol. Sorry, but couldn't help teasing you.

So are you from the UK, Australia or New Zealand? I never drive in Italy but my late husband loved to drive there. But of course being from the US he didn't have the problem of the "opposite side of the road". I had friends from Australia who recently took a five week tour of the US and they did just fine so imagine that you would in Italy. The Autostrada's are easy IMO. A lot of the roads in Tuscany are narrow and curvy but since you are a pilot I don't imagine you would have a problem.

What interest do you have regarding Tuscany Av7rdan? Do you want to stay in a place in the countryside, a hotel or B&B in Florence, Siena etc? Are your interest art, museums, architect, the countryside etc?

Which airport do you plan on flying into and which one will you depart from? And how many nights will you have in Italy?

Also, congratulations on your 11 years of sobriety. That is wonderful. Good for you. And congratulations and best wishes to you and your wife on your upcoming 20th wedding anniversary.

I don't drink and when asked if I would like a glass of wine I decline and it has never been a problem.

Many Italians don't drink wine or are highly selective about when they do so, or alternate or follow wine with water. And since most people drink something while they eat, water is always available - almost invariably bottled. You'll be asked if you prefer still "naturale" or fizzy "frizzante".

AV8rdan

I'm heading on 12, so good for us! The absolute only people who have reacted to my "no vino, grazie" have been other Italians that I've been dining with.

One man did not at all understand the idea of staying completely chemically free to maintain sobriety and really pushed the issue, and another was a bit of a heavy wine drinker and would push me a bit.

Maybe it was just my dumb luck with my dining companions, employers, but I have never had a problem in a restaurant, and I have had many meals in Italy. I do avoid wine bars, because I'm afraid that would be a bit awkward, but landed in one wine bar in Trastevere, ordered coffee, and the proprietor couldn't have been nicer.

Sometimes I hear "no vino?" from the waiter, but if I reply "no grazie" that has always been the end of it.

My brother-in-law is a recovering alcoholic and on anti seizure medication. If people won't take no for an answer, he just tells them he is on medication and can't drink. If you don't mind tellig a fib, I suppose you could do the same. Actually, you aren't supposed to drink alcohol with lots of over the counter meds either.

I've never had a problem saying no thanks to wine if I didn't want it anywhere in Italy (though admittedly, I usually do want it). Just say "No vino per me, grazie," and unless they are uncouth they wón't press you. There are so many alternative drinks, anyway; you can always say, "no, preferisco .....whatever."

Av8rdan, and all, how could it be a problem? I am amazed any one considered it, Italians are people with lots of warmth, common sense,... I understand you might have been concerned but I guess we should be spontaneous but respectful , honest and everything will work.
( May be not on every place on earth but in ITaly I would think so) Just do not worry too much.Be yourself.

I too, am a non drinker and when asked if I would like a drink I used to just say no thank you but I did find that some people tended to push it. Things like 'oh come on just one little drink'.

So I find that if I reply 'No thanks I don't drink alcohol'- I tend to get no further arguments.

I don't believe anyone will be offended by your refusal of alcohol. I know you'll love Tuscany - it creates a 'natural high'.

No vanno no vino!

I think it depends on the situation.
In a restaurant, say no. If they bring it anyhow, don't drink it.

In a more personal situation, I find the Europeans in general have a more tolerant and educated understanding of a true alcohol problem than do Americans.

In that case, simply tell the host or hostess that you have a good medicinal reason not to consume alcohol.

My guess is that he or she will understand perfectly and act responsibly and accordingly. I find Europeans in general to be more respectful of privacy and the customer's wishes.

I have never had a waiter or waitress in Europe push anything on me like they do in the USA where sometimes the pushing turns into shoving.

I think I undestand your problem.
I was invited to an after the fact wedding celebration in Germany where I knew that considerable alcohol would be served.

I knew the wife and hostess quite well and discussed my problem with her a few days in advance. Being a responsible adult, she took care of the problem. At the banquet, no one offered me anything alcoholic. I had a great time, even though many people around me were drinking.

Even so, no one was out of order, silly, giddy, or obnoxious. My wife and I were 2 of the 4 native English speakers present, but there was no shortage of people to talk with. Most of the German and Italian guests were fluent in at least 2 foreign languages.

I had obsessed a little about the situation before leaving home, but once there I found that none of my worries were worth the effort.

As General Sherman said about being president of the US: If nominated I shall not campaign. If elected I shall not serve.

So let it be with wine in Italy.
Say no thanks or whatever the people above suggested you say. They hit me as being a very savvy bunch of people.

And don't worry about being polite. Explain your wishes in the best reasonable way available. If they don't understand, so be it.

If the host is as "polite" as one would hope there is absolutely NO REASON for you to explain anything other than you do not wish to drink wine. No explanation is owed and you should not have to "fib."

If someone offered you a cigarette and you don't smoke would you feel compelled to give a reason why?

If someone is offended that you prefer water or some other drink then they are the one with the problem, not you.

BTW, are you still attending meetings?

As a German, I laughed a lot about the following article:

http://www.cruisecritic.com/features...les.cfm?ID=355

Here in Europe, this kind of behavior usually stops at an age of 16.

Are the Americans still children (as the "Xenophobe's Guide" suggests) who need silly rules on drinking and who like to break the rules like teenagers?

i don't know traveller1959, but different countries deal with the 'problem' of alcohol use and abuse in different ways. Here in Britain, we have liberal laws but the general use of alcohol can best be described as juvenile and irresponsible. Town centres are turned upside down at the weekends. In scandinavia, the nanny government tries to put alcohol out of reach by taxing it heavily. clearly there is not one, single answer for all societies.