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-   -   We want to marry on Italy trip but not legally. Possible? (https://www.fodors.com/community/europe/we-want-to-marry-on-italy-trip-but-not-legally-possible-701623/)

JodyGoBoaty May 1st, 2007 12:53 PM

We want to marry on Italy trip but not legally. Possible?
 
Fiance and I are going to Rome in May and then Mediterranean cruise to Livorno, Monaco, Barcelona, Mallorca, Tunis, Palmero, Naples. We want to get married on the trip (not on ship), but not legally. (This is our honeymoon and we're having "legal" wedding later in year). Possible? All suggestions welcome. Thank you.

WillTravel May 1st, 2007 12:55 PM

If it's not legal, it's not a marriage. In all seriousness, you could hire an actor to perform the ceremony, because there's no legal significance attached.

PalenQ May 1st, 2007 12:56 PM

Ask Tom Cruise! (Cruse?)

JodyGoBoaty May 1st, 2007 01:00 PM

PalenQ: wouldn't that make us Scientologists?

Christina May 1st, 2007 01:23 PM

Willtravel is right, that isn't a marriage, it's just a dressup party or something. So you are pretending to get married for some reason (I don't understand these things). It's not a honeymoon, you're just taking a vacation together.

So, if it's just a pretend marriage, anyone can do it. Just grab someone off the street or a shop or a serving staff person who can read a little English and hand them the text you want them to say, and give them a tip.

It's true, Tom's media blowout was a pretend marriage also, in Italy. Purely for the PR and to impress folks as they didn't have any particular ties to Italy that I know. Of course, he had lots of bucks so probably paid to fly the Scientologist guy to Italy -- just offering a free vacation, why not.

Viajero2 May 1st, 2007 01:23 PM

Jody-- this sounds like a really dumb question: You want to get married, but not legally? it is your honeymoon, but you will be married at a later time? call it a commitment ceremony/Special Blessing;, why call it marriage? If is not a legal marriage, you don't even anybody else present, just the two of you. What am I missing here?

CarolA May 1st, 2007 01:29 PM

OK folks lets try to be a little more romantic here.

I am going on the assumption that the couple wants a romantic wedding cermony in a great location without jumping through the legal hoops (sounds like fun to me)

I would do a search for wedding planners. I know there are a bunch in Italy! I typed Rome Italy wedding planners in google and got several pages of listings... Good luck and have fun!

TravMimi May 1st, 2007 01:38 PM

There are probably wedding planners that will do a non-legal wedding now but I don't get it. So this would be just a fun fake wedding?

kappa May 1st, 2007 01:41 PM

Of course Carol is right and it's done in lots of places in Italy (I hear) for foreign visitors/tourists. It can be called such as wedding (-like) ceremony or a religious blessing. They are done at private chapels or actual churches.

You get one like the following just by googling.

http://www.italian-weddings.com/

Travelnut May 1st, 2007 01:43 PM

I think the photo album(s) would be very confusing. :)

TravMimi May 1st, 2007 01:47 PM

I know that catholic church will do a blessing for you in a church in Italy, but you have to already be married in a catholic church in the states. Sort of a reblessing. Otherwise I believe a church will only do a full legal marriage. Don't believe the catholic church is into non-union blessings yet.

Dukey May 1st, 2007 01:49 PM

Ms. Spears could probably add a few thoughts to this.

I don't see why you cannot have two "legal" ceremonies since many people do that; some have a "civil" marriage followed by a religious one.

Would eliminate all the confusing photo albums, too LOL!

kappa May 1st, 2007 01:51 PM

I don't care about Catholic or Protestant church but the site I posted above says : "For couples wanting to skip all paperwork altogether there is the option of a romantic symbolic ceremony with all the trimmings. A symbolic ceremony follows traditional lines but will not hold any religious or civil status. Holding no restrictions allows you to have it just about anywhere except an official civil hall or church. Many couples opt for this solution as it grants them complete freedom to celebrate both ceremony and reception in their location of choice."

Sounds like exactly what OP is looking for.

TravMimi May 1st, 2007 01:52 PM

Honeymoon before the wedding?

kappa May 1st, 2007 01:58 PM

> think's it's a rather stupid idea

I'm suprised most people (on this board) are so negative about this. "romantic symbolic ceremony" is the keyword.


TravMimi May 1st, 2007 02:04 PM

Back to the original question. If it's not legal your not married so , no it's not possible.

janisj May 1st, 2007 02:06 PM

If you merely want to "pledge" yourselves to each other - just pick a beach or some other scenic spot and read a verse to each other. It will be as romantic as you make it. No one else needs to be involved.

But to have a planned "non-wedding ceremony" doesn't make any sense to me . . . . .

CarolA May 1st, 2007 02:12 PM

I am sitting next to a coworker who did his honeymoon before his wedding...

Unlike others on this board, I did not wake up this morning, look in the mirror and decide "its MY place to judge others on thier lifestyles" If you don't like the idea, do you have to post????

TravMimi May 1st, 2007 02:14 PM

some words still have meanings and a honeymoon is AFTER a marriage.

Nora_S May 1st, 2007 02:18 PM

You people (apart from CarolA and kappa) are being pretty harsh.

I don't think they are talking about a "fake" wedding, or even anything particularly unusual. I know of a number of people who have separated their "ceremonial" wedding from their "legal" one. Indeed, it is much much easier to do it that way if you want to have a wedding in Italy, because it is complicated to get the documents together for a legal marriage.

I have good friends who did this---they had a civil wedding in the US, but their "real" wedding (in their minds and their family's) was in Italy---purely ceremonial, but meaningful to them. Those are the photos and memories they will treasure.

As long as they both know that they are not legally married in this ceremony, what is wrong with it?


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