One problem is that it takes a while - usually 40 or 50 years - to work out that we do things the wrong way around - surely, it makes far more sense to keep the alcoholic haze for our elderly and decrepit days, when we can usually afford the better stuff and are less likely to engage in anti social activities (or social activities for that matter).

Oh I don't know, farrermog. Wait till you meet a coach party of grannies that's been on the brown ale...

"We've been exporting our anti-social elements since 1607..."

FINALLY, the mystery of the Lost Colony has been solved and thank you, Flanner, for providing the key..
the Indians decided they had had enough of the rowdies and did something about it.

No, I think they all got absolutely bladdered and decided it would a fun thing to go for a swim on what turned out to be a rip-tide: there are people who do this in the Thames every summer. This is called protecting the gene pool.

<the Indians>

dukey - native americans?

bumper sticker i just saw: The Indians discovered Columbus

should have been

native americans discovered Columbus

get it right

no more perjorative terms here please