suze

If you can afford the expensive, I like the suggested "solution" of getting a rental car with the excuse that it was easier than taking the train to their town. Then you can play it by ear once you have met the people you are staying with.

Especially if this is an extended stay you might be able to tour together some at the first, then offer to do shopping or errands another time to get out on your own a bit.

Bnice

I will try the train idea, actually it's somewhat true. If we picked up the rental car about an hour from the town we will be in, we wouldn't have to switch to a 2nd train along the way. If he still persists I will just give in and let him do it the way he wants because he hasn't been to his hometown in so long. I'll go with the flow and try to pick up some more Italian and just enjoy being amongst my family, many of which I will be meeting for the 1st time!

janT

Bnice, where are you going? We visited relatives in Gerace a few years ago, but stayed at a hotel in Siderno...and yes, we had a car. We too needed to take a car because we trained into Reggio from Rome, then across to Siderno. No one thought twice about it. I know it's not a parallel situation, but similar.

I'm just curious as to where you're going! Southern Italy is beautiful. Enjoy!

Bnice

We are going to Roccella Ionica, not too far from Gerace. Any must-see ruins, towns, etc?

cmt

You may have seen this already. Here's a webiste about it. (There are others, but I stopped at this one.) http://www.cinoricci.it/girovela2002.../roccella.html

I see that it is a tourist area. Maybe it won't be QUITE so traditional as I imagined.

This is an interesting thread, partly because there is such a huge difference between the comments you are getting from people who have had the experience of visiting relatives in small towns in southern Italy (or in other foreign culture) and those who have not, and who therefore approach the issue as they would if meeting relatives in their own country or in some modern European city.

coco

Bnice, I don't have anything useful to add to this interesting thread except want to point out that most cars are not going to have room for more than 4 people to travel comfortably. Not sure how many in your party but this could be a serious consideration.

janT

You know, Bnice, coco is right. My guess is that your relatives might even welcome an extra vehicle for any jaunts you might all take together. When we visited my cousin in Gerace, we actually ended up following him everywhere we went. Of course, there were several of us, but even if it had been only two, when his wife or daughter joined us it would have been tight. Small cars are the norm, unless they are wealthy.

As for ruins, unfortunately we ended up seeing little because we actually wrecked our car within the first two days of our 5 day visit, and therefore were without transport for about a day and a half (we did get another vehicle delivered from Reggio, which was amazing in and of itself!). The cousin mainly showed us family-related sights (not ruins), and we were on our own for that. Since we lost that time we were going to devote to ruin visiting, we didn't get to see much. But there are several Greek ruins all through that area. And the Ionion Sea is gorgeous, and well worth a visit.

cmt

some photos: http://www.calabriaweb.it/cgi-bin/tu...mp;language=it

sheila

It's quite clear that everyone here thinks you'll be better off with your own car.

I, however, am with Deloris. Ask them. Don't fib, or be mealy mouthed.

"Auntie, will we need to bring a car to do some sightseeing outside the village/town?" should do it.

You're clear that that is one of your priorities, and she has the chance to say "No, we'll drive you" "No, you won't have time for that, by the time we've seen all your rellies" or "Yes please, we know where we want to take you, but we'll be short of driver/cars; or it might give you more freedom"

cmt

Sheila: Quite a few of us did NOT suggest having the rented car (or at least we did not suggest that she should assume that she can use it while their guest). It was mainly the people who had never been in such a situation who suggested she should have her own car.

Mariarosa

Regardless of whether you rent a car or not what is important is what you do with the car after you arrive in the town. I agree with the posters (cmt, Maira, johnc) that have described this situation as a cultural difference. Southern Italians, especially the older generations are considered to be collectivists. What this means for you is that they will not see 'playing hosts' as an imposition. On the contrary, they will be delighted to do so.

I believe it would be rude to stay at their place and go off on your own. After all, you're visiting them, not visiting a hotel. If you want to do that, I suggest staying with them part of the time and then traveling independently and staying elsewhere the rest of the time. This will help balance your need for independence with visiting relatives.

kismetchimera

... Visiting relatives can be very boring at times...The best thing to do make the best of your time with them and keep smiling...Then move on to green pastures..

ahdzp

IF you want to control your vacations, why you want to stay at your family's home???? I think if you stay with them, that means they will be your host and will give you a tour. For me, is ok. if some relatives visit me and stay at a hotel means they will see me when they want and there is no obligation...

HOwever, If they stay with me, that means I will be the host and will ask what they want to do and will provide everything, I think is rude if somebody want to stay at my home and want to go sightsee without me, I live in a very popular city and always try to do all turistic stuff and friends prefereces.

cmt

Did this trip take place yet?