Visiting boyfriend in UK. Am I letting anxiety get the best of me?
 

This is my first time posting here, so I apologize if this is wrong or not allowed, but I am desperate for some reassurance, or advice, as it were.

I am a 23y/o female from the US setting to go visit my 25y/o boyfriend who resides in the UK. This will be our fourth time seeing one another after about a year of being together. The first time we met. he came down to visit me for a week, then I went up to him for two and a half weeks about a month and a half later. After that, another month and a half went by and he came back to see me for three weeks. Now about four and a half months have gone by and I am setting up to go see him for about 80 days.

I made the mistake of looking at horror stories online where people said they were turned away for a multitude of reasons (some dumb, some not so dumb). So here is what I have:

-My itinerary for my trip (including my return flight ticket).
-£3,000 (GBP) cash and $3,000 (USD) in my bank account with a recent bank slip to prove it.
-A letter from my employer stating how long I have worked there and that they will see me back to work on October 13th (the day after I get home).
-A leave of absence form showing approval for my leave as well as the specific days I will be leaving and coming back.
-Medical insurance forms which show that I live with my parents and brother and will have a home to come back to.
-My tickets from my last visit which prove I left when I was supposed to.
-Some pictures of my boyfriend and I together from previous trips.
-Even pictures of my boyfriend's past airline tickets as proof that he has been down to see me.

All in all, I have a lot saying that I will be coming back. My simple question is, should I be losing sleep over this? Because I am. I am a very anxious person and I keep thinking of the worst possible outcome. The first time I went to the UK, I had zero issues. The only thing freaking me out now is that this is a much longer trip. Do you think I have everything I need? Or would you suggest I get more?

Thanks for any help and reassurance! I am really scaring myself over this when I really don't think I need to be!

Oh dear.. I would imagine NOT!

Go enjoy your vacation! As long as you are not overstaying the legal stay for US citizens in a certain time frame.. seems you have all the bases covered should they ask. Just answer their questions and if they ASK for paper proof of anything.. then produce it bit by bit as / if they ask for it.

Even my 82 yr old mother got the third degree for a 3 day visit.. as I did, but that is just how it is. We answered the questions and had no problem. Hope the same happens to you.

Was your last entry worrisome? Shouldn't be any different.

@lincasanova

My last entry was absolutely NOT worrisome! In fact, I was so naive, I honestly had no idea I was in danger of being turned away and brought very little proof with me. This time around, though, I did some research as it is a much longer stay and that is when I stumbled across some really scary stories pertaining to people getting turned away.

Thank you very much for the reply, by the way. My anxiety has been getting the best of me these last few days and it is reassuring to know that I have all my bases covered and all that's left for me to do is answer questions truthfully.

All countries with serious immigration problems do their routine "interrogation". Even with old, feeble ladies.

Try to relax. it's your well-earned vacation.

Have no intention of overstaying.

Be confident that you are very welcome, not a criminal and have no need to be nervous at our Border Control.

Under no circumstances make any attempt to lie or cover up the truth.

You'll be fine.

I agree with BritishCaicos, don't lie, don't fudge the truth, don't be vague. Immigration will pick up on it and then wonder what else is not true. Be honest but just answer the questions put to you, if they want to hear the whole story they will ask. I assume you've double checked you are allowed to stay for 80 days, depending on what sort of passport you have? As long as that's all OK then I would think you should be fine.

Also you are not alone in worrying like this. We entered the UK on long term visas a number of years ago and although everything was done by the book, I was still concerned and anxious. All was fine and hopefully you will be too.
Kay

@KayF

I have done this before and I definitely know to be confidence and not lie or hide anything and to only answer the questions asked and to never go overboard. Like I said, I am just freaking myself out as this is a longer trip! Anxiety is a real pain sometimes.

And yes, under a United States passport, an 80 days stay in the UK is just fine without a visa, but I do appreciate you telling me to double check! You can never be too sure.

It sounds like you have all bases covered and should have no problems. Yes, as a young person they may ask a few more questions - but you should just answer calmly and briefly. If you are very nervous they may pick up on that and think that you have something to hide.

Be sure that you have packed everything properly (small liquids only in carry-on etc) so there is no reason for them to pull you aside for more questions - nothing like being delayed at the start of the trip to make you more agitate.

@nytraveler

Just to be sure, what kind of small liquids should I be packing in my carry-on bag, if any? The last time I was in England, I waited to buy shampoo, conditioner, etc until I made it in-country! I was really only planning on bringing my toothbrush and phone chargers and things of the like with me, while having my suitcase hold only clothing items. Is this okay, or is there something I should be doing differently?

I apologize if this is a dumb question. Want to make sure I have everything in order.

Just picking up on the "£3,000 (GBP) cash" bit - assuming you meant this literally, it's a very, VERY bad idea to carry this amount of cash on you. What happends if it were lost/stolen, your insurance wouldn't cover such a large sum I'm sure. Much better to use a debit ard in a cash machine (ATM) to access your money while in the UK. Bring copies of your recent bank statements if concerned the immigration people may want evidence you can support yourself financially.

They will not stop you for having liquids in your carry-on when you arrive, that applies only to the security check at departure. The do check on foods you bring into the UK; that applies mostly to meatproducts, plants, fruit.

You can put any liquids in your checked-in suitcase. In your carry-on only small quantities.

Don't worry so much, you are not planning on breaking immigration rules, and have plenty of back-up documents in case they ask. Only produce these documents if they ask for them.

Just to be sure, what kind of small liquids should I be packing in my carry-on bag, if any? The last time I was in England, I waited to buy shampoo, conditioner, etc until I made it in-country! >>

funny how this problem with carry-on liquids gets mangled and misunderstood.

You don't have to put liquids in your carry-on luggage at all [and if you are checking luggage, I don't know why you would] but IF there are liquids in your hand luggage, they must be in quantities of less than 100ml each, and placed in a clear plastic sealable bag when you go through security before boarding the plane.

therefore this is not a problem for you arriving in the UK as you will have done all of this when you leave the US; UK immigration officers are not interested in whether you have 90 ml of shampoo or not.

Do however make sure that all the documents that you have so sensibly organised [return ticket, money/bank statements, insurance, employer's letters, etc, etc] are all in your hand luggage so that you can access them when you get to immigration, if and when you are asked for them, and are not in your checked luggage which you can only get to after passport control.

I agree not to bring that much money with you - a debit card and ATMs are what you need.

And relax - there is absolutely no reason why the immigration authorities should be alarmed by you, given the preparations you have made.

PS - make sure that you have your boyfriend's phone no and address to hand so that you can show them where you are going and have a means of getting in touch if you need to.

I sat next to an English 18-year-old on a flight home, and he was telling me he was visiting a friend for a couple weeks. We hit adjacent passport counters at the same time and then I heard the officer pose the "When are you getting married?" line before he was called into a special room. So maybe don't play up the boyfriend angle for 80 days too much, and if you do, be ready for the marriage question.

that was the boy going into the US, was it Tom?

it's a bit difficult for the OP to downplay the boyfriend angle - that's why she's going there and that's going to be obvious to the immigration officer.

in fact IMO being coy about it is more likely to ring alarm bells than just being straightforward.

ann: Yes he was, I do hope he made it in, he seemed nice. Just saying that telling the passport officer that you are engaged to the person that you are visiting is not a good idea.

I think you just have to be straight, look the person in the eye and answer them nicely. You don't need to dress up but don't dress down.

Whenever I've been into the US, on business or for holidays (I'm a Brit) you get the same stuff (and it can be crazy scary at times) but as long as you speak nice and tell the truth you'll be fine.

I've just been a country where everyone, more or less, speaks English but only superficially and it reminds me don't assume the person you will be talking to speaks your vernacular or that you can speak theirs.

Now I am nervous for a completely different reason! If I go to an area and exchange some of my currency from GBP back to USD, I will not be able to get an official bank statement in time. I can, however, login to my account which will have my current amount and whatnot and print that up. Will that be okay? It isn't bank statement official, but if shows my account number, my name, the date, etc.

I'm a server, so the money I make is very random. Therefore, it is hard to count on bank statements really. So as I said, would it be okay for me to just print up my account page?

I am sorry for the spam, but I guess I should also mention that my account page shows the current amount of money I have in my account, as well. That's the most important part.

If you already HAVE the ££ cash -- then don't do <u>anything</u> with it.. You will double lose (you lost some when you bought the £ and you'll lose more converting it back).

Just be VERY careful carrying that much cash on you. Maybe get a money belt or pouch and wear it under your clothes.

(And understand how to use a money belt/pouch. It isn't replacement for a regular wallet or purse. It s a 'body safe' and should be hidden at all times)

And if this happens again - don't buy currency before your trip . . .

I bought currency for my trip last time, so I truly didn't know it would be an annoyance (I guess that would be the proper word) this time.

I was only planning on carrying that much with me through the airport and then once I got to my boyfriend's house, I was going to put all of it in a drawer and only use it as needed (as this is what I did during my last visit with no issues). Would you suggest I still acquire a money pouch for my airport travels?

>>I bought currency for my trip last time, so I truly didn't know it would be an annoyance<<

It isn't an 'annoyance' (except for the safety/security of carrying that much cash), it is an extra expense. Just for your future trips -- don'y buy currency ahead of time because you get a worse exchange rate. A few £ fine -- but on £3000 you paid an awful lot extra. For example the travelex desk in my local USBank charges nearly 20¢ more per £ than the official exchange rate so if you had bought the currency there you would have paid almost $600 too much. If your bank uses a better exchange rate -- you still will have paid a few hundred dollars.

Just be careful carrying all that money . . .

I think everything will be fine, Enig and I do think it is good advice to have some/most of the cash attached to your body under your clothes, to be on the safe side. Going thru airports, one is easily distracted and having the money in a secure spot will be helpful.

You remind me that when my husband and I were 23, we moved halfway across country to Boston, arriving on a Sunday, with all of our belongings in a rental truck that needed to be returned on Wednesday. NO PLACE to live and we were confident that we could find a new home in time to return the truck….never occurred to us that it was not a great plan (in fact it was not a plan at all, in retrospect) but it all worked out. I think you will be fine!

"When are you getting married" is a legal question US immigration must ask if they suspect it because if it is on that particular TRIP, the person entering, even if from a Visa waiver ( ESTA approved) country, they would have had to have got a FIANCË VISA.. which many people don't even realize because they don't know about it.

So.. heads up to all future spouses of inter-county marriages! Do your research to avoid surprises.. and.. the fiancé visa for the uSA takes several months.( from what I know of last year)

I am going to approach this from a slightly different angle.

I am a U.S. Citizen currently living in the UK ( married to my UK citizen husband).
I have been through the whole nine yards with regards to coming to visit him, then immigrating here to live.

OP, you are not being paranoid. UK immigration has recently cracked down on illegal entry and overstays. They will definitely look at you closely at the border, because 'young, female and has a UK boyfriend' is going to set off bells.

So, you are doing the right thing by coming prepared by showing you know and understand the rules, that you have no intention of overstaying, that you can support yourself. Try to stay calm, answer honestly, do NOT lie about anything.

Now, if you are still worried and are going to continue to worry until you're across the border, you can always apply for a visitor's visa in advance. That means you will know before your trip that you have been approved for the visit, rather than leaving it to the Immigration Officer on the day you arrive.

Good luck, and if you're near Oxford, let me know and we'll get a coffee!!

I will not lie, nor will I overstay. I think what I am worried about is that I will get an officer who woke up "grumpy", if you will, and they will still turn me down despite all the proof I have that it is only a holiday simply because I an young and female..

make sure you are logged out of your account on your usual device, if you try to login on a second unknown device you can be denied access to your account

wrong post!

anyway <<Am I letting anxiety get the best of me?>>

yes

That is exactly why I suggested a visitors visa ahead of time.

Hi,

Nobody here can guarantee you that you are not going to an ***h*le when you land in the UK. Seems to me your choices are (a) get a visitor's visa (b) cancel your trip (c) stop worrying and go and deal with what happens.

While I am at it, I want to take issue with something said much earlier in this thread, which is that UK procedures are shared by all countries with "serious' immigration issues. The UK is having an immigration hysteria, and not all countries -- some of them with an actual migrant crises on their hands -- are behaving like the UK.

Sandralist I have no desire to provoke an argument but do you live in the UK? If not I find your comment about having an immigration Hysteria unwarranted.

no, tipsygus, sandralist does not live in the UK.

Whether the UK has a migrant crisis on its hands is a hot political potato here, though personally I've never heard the phrase " immigration hysteria" before. [can you "have" an immigration hysteria? I suppose you might be suffering from it].

What we do have is an immigration policy which for good or ill is rigorously imposed on those who wish to enter the UK, the ones we know about, that is.

The distinction that sandralist is alluding to, I suspect, is that countries like Italy and Greece, which do have serious immigration issues as a result of the refugee crisis in the Med, are rather less rigorous.

Whether they would less searching with their questions to someone like the OP trying to enter at an airport is irrelevant anyway, as it is the UK which she wishes to enter.

but ann, on a good note I quiet like the term " immigration hysteria" and shall be using at the next opportunity :-)

Enimatic, you'll be fine (advice above is all ok)