Vignettes from my Amalfi Trip

Old May 31st, 2004, 04:16 PM
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Vignettes from my Amalfi Trip

I think instead of a trip report I will post this way, unless it annoys too many people.

THE DAY WE RENTED A CAR

We took the bus from Amalfi to Sorrento and went to Travel Car on via degli Arancia where we had reserved a smart car the day before, 60 euro for 24 hours. The manager brought the car around then came back into the office and tossed a set of keys in front of me so I picked them up, we signed papers and he took me, the driver, to the car, adjusted the seat, showed me which keys to use and started up the car, just before I pulled away, I held up my keys and said what are these for then? He looked shocked and said "those are mine!". It is funny when you can read someone's face and learn in an instant what they are thinking, he was half amused when I laughed and half perplexed that I had his keys in the first place and was about to drive off with them.

With a smart car you have automatic gears but no clutch, my mind went into its own gear and when I switched the car gear I automatically thought "clutch" and slammed on the brakes. Hmmm. My friend, Seashell put on her seat belt. OK, no clutch, but I figured out how to get into second and we turned onto the Corso heading towards Massa Lubrense. We had both researched the history of Juaquim Murat and wanted to see where his headquarters were where he signaled his troups on Capri from Massa L.

We headed down to Marina Lobra and had a wonderful lunch at da Michele, easy on the vino for me.

Back in Massa L. I parked in front of the tourist into center, which was closed, and couldn't get the key out of the ignition. I pulled pretty hard on it and the top part came off in my hand leaving only the tiny metal bottom in the ignition. There was no way to grip it to get it out so we tested the auto lock and it worked so we left it like that and walked down to Osvaldos Cafe by the bellevue, asking some people on the way directions to Murat's villa.

While we were sipping coffee we got to talking to a local man who was very interesting, spoke perfect English and was in ML visiting his parents. He knew where Murat's house was and said he would ride with us to show us the way. While we walked back to the car, I said there are two problems with that, one that we had a tiny car, and he said he was small and could fit in the back and, well, it was a beautiful day and he was making us laugh so I forgot about the second part.

He barely squeezed in behind the front seat and leaned on the tiny ledge Roman style.
Then I remembered the second part, the key was stuck in the ignition. I was trying to grip it to move it and it was getting hot and stuffy and the automatic windows kept going up and down each time I moved the key. Then the windshield wipers went on and a small crowd was gathering to watch. Through the rearview mirror I looked back at him, a momentarily look of fear swept over his face, another one of those moments where you can read the other's thoughts, but I didn't need to guess, he said "are you sure you know how to drive, I have children, I would like to see them grow up!" I said "of course I can drive, it is just that the key is stuck in the ignition." He said he could try it and tried to wedge himself between the seats to get to the key and that is what he did, he got wedged and couldn't move back or forward. I got out and opened up the back hatch, laughing so hard I could hardly see. He slithered out through the small hatch to the amazement of the crowd who murmered among themselves. He got in the driver's seat, I squeezed in the back and hurrah he jammed the plastic part back on the key and the car started up.

Since we was safely outside the car now, he backed away from the car averting his face from the onlookers, he put his head down and said now it is too late for me to go with you, I will tell you how to get there. We snapped his picture and let him off easy, he waved shyly as he hurried down the street, clutching his briefcase to his chest. I slithered out the back hatch feet first to the surprise of a man who had just pulled up behind us on a scooter. Bella, bella, he said. I said Grazie, dove la casa de Murat? He said I only speak Italian, bella. I said I am speaking Italian. Bella, bella. I got back into the car, took off the hand brake, put it in first, slammed on the brakes again bouncing us and the car forward in a lurch, and we both put our seatbelts on.

Seashell said do you realize we keep saying Murat to people and they think we are nuts, the only one who knew what we were asking is poor J. who has disappeared.

I thought I remembered J's mumbled directions so we made a legal u-turn, I think, and went up towards the hills. We stopped a man going into a house, dove casa de Murat? He shrugged and looked over the car to two women leaning over a railing. One of them gave me directions and we were off, I made another u turn up the street and we waved at them on the way back down, they laughed and waved back. At least we were comic relief for the small towns.

We asked another woman a little further on and when she went to speak her tooth flew out and landed under our car, what to do without causing her more embarassment? If I drove on, I would run over her tooth. I backed up a little, she picked up her tooth and waved us in the right direction holding her hand to her mouth, we pretended that nothing unusual had happened and thanked her, grazie, grazie, ciao!

Finally we found the house. We rested on the stone fence in the sun and took pictures. A woman and a young man parked near us and looked at the beautiful view of Capri from Murat's house, it was a perfect day. When we got back into the car to leave, it would not move out of neutral no matter how hard I pulled, pushing my foot on and off the brakes and trying everything, the windows went down on their own and I kept trying.

The woman walked up to the driver's window and shrugged a "what is wrong" shrug. I said stupido machina. She said, ahhhh, stupido machina and called to her son, he tried for a while and it started, there is a trick to that car that I never did learn. I think it was just testing me. We talked to the lady and her son for a while, took their picture, he had her son take a picture of me with her and after we kissed cheeks all around we were off. We toured the hills for a while, taking pictures, and NOT turning off that car. I had to learn to floor it when a truck would come right up to the rear bumper and all we could see was it's wheels at eye level.

We drove back to Osvaldos for more coffee and Seashell spotted Furio with a group of men across the street (ok, a lookalike). Before I could get my camera out to snap him, he got into the driver's seat of a new mercedes and two Important Looking Men got in the back seat and they drove off. Hmmmm.

The Smart Car was kind and started up nicely this time and we drove to a gas station where I did not turn it off and filled it up. We drove through Sorrento to see Padre Pio's church in the next town, Meta and ended up getting on one way streets until I made a turn and ended up in the middle of Tasso Square with traffic coming at us from every way. Seashell shouted (we were hyper by this time) follow that cab!! We did and went behind him on Corso which was now closed to public traffic right in the middle of the passiagiata much to our and everyone's dismay.

My friend from Sorrento called my cell at this point and asked how our driving day was going, I said I was exhausted and my nerves were shot, so he suggested that instead of me driving back to Amalfi on the Coast Road, to turn the car in and he would drive us back later. Seashell and I agreed that the Amalfi Drive would push us over the edge, if not figuratively then literally, so we turned the car in at 9:00 pm, tired but strangely triumphant.


(If this is fine with you Fodorites, I will add more in installments, let me know)




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Old May 31st, 2004, 04:34 PM
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SeaUrchin, This is great! I'm looking forward to the next installments.
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Old May 31st, 2004, 04:34 PM
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I love it, SeaUrchin. Personally, this is the sort of "trip report" I really enjoy, as opposed to a list of what was seen, eaten, drunk, and paid. I feel as if I was riding in the back seat with you. Keep 'em coming!

PS The first time I drove on my own in Italy, I sat in the rental agency parking lot for 15 minutes trying to get the gearshift into reverse. There was some trick I can't recall now, but the agent was very annoyed that he had to come out and show the stupid American woman how to do something so basic.
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Old May 31st, 2004, 04:36 PM
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What a hilarious start, my laugh of the day!
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Old May 31st, 2004, 07:06 PM
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SeaUrchin,

As I was reading your report, my husband was in the shower asking "what the hell are you laughing at?"

I finished your VERY entertaining report and left it up for him to read, and he also was cracking up! Sooooo funny to read, and we can relate!

"The Day We Rented a Car" competes with our "The Day We Tried to Buy a Chicken", and is one of our favorite memories of Italy.

We had rented a villa in Umbria for a week, with a complete kitchen. Our goal was to relax, take day trips and immerse ourselves in La Dolce Vita. Our first day we went into town to get provisions...this mostly consisted of wine, wine wine and some pasta. We did this for a couple of days until we felt like locals..that is, until we went to buy the chicken. I had packed some marinade packets in the luggage, in anticipation of this. All the marindade consisted of was the packet, some oil, vinegar and water. Easy.

We go into town, armed with the fact that we're practically "locals", and go to the back of the store for our chicken. Sausage yes, lunchmeat stuff, yes..pollo - no. There's now a big Italian / American language problem. Woman behind the counter hands me an Italian/American dictionary. Problem is, my eyes have gone "old" the last 2 years and I can't read the small print. No problem - she hands me HER reading glasses! We're still not sure. The checker comes back and leads us to the road in front of the store and points vigoursly up the road and around the bend. We follow these instructions and find the....BUTCHER. Well, what WE want is a Pollo Crudo......raw chicken! We get this and head back to our villa where we put our lovely chicken in a marinade for 2 days.

We go out day touring and come back with ancicipation of our wonderful chicken......only to have a feral cat come out of NOWHERE and make off with a piece of chicken! Too funny!


Can't wait for your next posting!

Melodie
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Old Jun 1st, 2004, 12:53 AM
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Hi SeaUrchin-
Thanks for a great trip report so far, hope you continue with more to come! I love your mindview of the Amalfi Coast! I am still chuckling at the story of the fellow who got himself wedged into you smartcar! It's wonderful that you have made some friends there= I also love going there in the Winter, and enjoyed the pics you posted awhile ago. One of my favorite memories is driving the coast road in January. I am curious about Murat's Villa-once, while exploring Masslubrense in a car, I turned up a very windy road not far from Peppino's and came upon an enormous Villa was was abandoned- was this the same one?
Hope you keep posting!
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Old Jun 1st, 2004, 02:11 AM
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Loved your report! Great way to start the day...can't wait for more.

Marilyn - I've had 2 rental cars in Europe where I couldn't find reverse. The first time I drove from Marseilles to Aix, getting lost in Aix several times, and at one point had to get out and push the car backwards to turn it around! I finally stopped a pedestrian and pointed to reverse in the car manual. Once I knew the trick it was easy!
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Old Jun 1st, 2004, 03:58 AM
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Hi SU,

Great story.

Confirms my belief that one does not need a car on the AC.
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Old Jun 1st, 2004, 08:31 AM
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SeaUrchin, this is great! I love a report that makes me laugh.

And Ira, I loved your reply!
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Old Jun 1st, 2004, 10:04 AM
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THE FLIGHT: TOES AND SUPERMODELS

I was dropped off really early at JFK for my flight and was a little perturbed so I decided to treat myself.

In Terminal One at JFK there is a spa! It is XpresSpa and right across from my departure gate (G5)! There are many different services offered from a $20/10 minute back massage to the works of facials and stone therapy!

I ordered up a foot massage/treatment (while sitting in a motorized massaging lounge chair), a pedicure and a back massage. It is such a good idea! You can reserve at 718 751 2235 or just walk up like I did.

I usually have turned myself into a tense wreck anticipating flights but this time I padded across the aisle to my gate in paper flip flops, my shoes in a bag so as not to ruin my pedicure, and it made the whole flight different, not as intimidating.

Flight was noneventful (Lufthansa, an airline I really like) except for my part in knocking out a supermodel. On retrospect it was a bad thing to do but at the time it seemed ok.

A German (super)model was sitting next to me and we chatted a bit about my toes and then she asked if I had something for tension. I said I only had xanax and she said oh, that is great, can I have one? So I gave her one, she took it and within minutes she was knocked out. I tapped her on the shoulder when dinner was served and after a bit she came around and said I feel wonderful, no food. She did not wake up again throughout the flight except for opening her big eyes once every few hours and smiling at me, so she was ok, so I did monitor her, in my defense, oh and I did tell the flight attendant.

Last I saw of her she was walking down the aisle as we exited with a dreamy smile on her face. Did anyone read about a missing German Supermodel?


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Old Jun 1st, 2004, 10:12 AM
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Great post! I can definitely relate!
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Old Jun 1st, 2004, 02:09 PM
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(Sognatrice that is so funny, I can relate to that!)

AMERICAN HUSSIES RENT THE APARTMENT

My longtime Italian friend, "Sorrentino" met us at the airport in Naples and drove us over the mountain to Amalfi. We met our rental agency rep at the bottom of the 139 steps up to our apartment. "Sorrentino" unloaded our luggage and then drove off to park the car. Our rep asked Seashell if our driver was going to carry up the luggage and she said yes and we went on up carrying the light stuff. In the apartment our rep was showing us the ins and outs of light switches, locks, etc., when in comes Sorrentino with our bags, tossed them down and grabbed me in a bear hug saying Welcome to EEEtaly and we fell back on the couch laughing.

This was another one of those moments when you can see what a person is thinking. A look of panic swept over our rep's face (this driver is attacking my client), then a look of confusion (she doesn't seem to mind), shock (she is even laughing). She was silent so we stood up and the look on her face said it all (these shameful American hussies, letting strange drivers maul them and just a few hours after they arrive!).

She made a quick exit before telling us anything about the kitchen and it was three days before we figured out that the propane tank needed to be switched on before we could use the burners. We had cooked our breakfast on the electric reheating burner. When she came back to show us where the tank was, Sorrentino and I were drinking wine on our porch, she gave us a quick disgusted look and left (now he has probably moved in, what a disgrace).

Our only other encounter with our rep was at 2AM the night before we were to leave the apartment, another friend had taken down our luggage to take to the Lorelei in Sorrento. He stacked it up in the square of Amalfi and left Seashell sitting on it while he went to get his car. Our rep came walking by with an older man, spotted Seashell sitting on the luggage and considered this for a moment, then walked up and said Oh, so you are leaving now? Seashell said oh no just waiting for a ride (she is not one to elaborate unnecessarily) we'll see you in the morning (for our deposit return). Our rep said, I see, and turned on her heels (just another loose American woman in the square in the middle of the night alone sitting on luggage waiting for who knows what).

In the morning she sent another rep to refund our tickets so we never got to say goodbye to her.....

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Old Jun 1st, 2004, 02:25 PM
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Oh SeaUrchin, just imagine the stories your rep is telling to her friends and family! Can't wait for more.
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Old Jun 1st, 2004, 02:26 PM
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This has been such a joy ride!
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Old Jun 1st, 2004, 02:59 PM
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Hey SU,

Getting better. Dealing drugs on airlines, loose American hussies, what else?
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Old Jun 1st, 2004, 03:45 PM
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Well, Ira, there is alot more, but since my 15 seconds of fame on the Sorrento Webcam too many people know me as Seaurchin now so I can't write the really good stuff. Too bad.

And we blabbed too much about Fodors in Sorrento and Amalfi so now there are people there reading this too.

So now I have to be careful not to tell too much! I can tell more of this generic stuff if you like it.
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Old Jun 1st, 2004, 04:40 PM
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Actually, I would recognize you not from the webcam, but much more from the photolink you posted back in April, with a more close-up picture of you on the path to Nocello and some other nice shots of the AC!
Of course you can't divulge all of your details, but I'm still trying to keep track of all the different local friends you are mentioning, and trying to figure out how you manage to get away from work to have fun on the Amalfi Coast for weeks on end-lucky girl!
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Old Jun 1st, 2004, 10:09 PM
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Sognatrice, I have been with my company for many years so I have relatively alot of vacation time. Glad you like my pictures, I will put up some more from this trip maybe with a surprise guest.

LIFE IN AMALFI

I have a thing about sleeping with windows open, meaning I have to have fresh air at night and my bedroom had only french doors to a small balcony so I left them open and the roll down shutters up all night. This way I could look at the sky and my mountain across the valley with Amalfi town in the center.

Some nights I would just sit on my balcony in the middle of the night and watch the moon and the stars and the play of the clouds over the valley and the sea. No matter what time I would sit on my balcony I could hear isolated footsteps on the cobblestones six stories below on the main street or in our little footpath passage way five stories below. It would make me wonder where that person was going that time of night. Sometimes I would hear couples laughing as they passed below on our path. Some nights I would watch and listen to distant thunder storms and one storm that clapped thunder right above our apartment and made it tremble.

No matter what time I went to sleep I would always wake up at 7AM, why? Because that is when the church bells start announcing the day. On the first morning in our apartment I was amazed at how close the bells were and how they and every other sound would echo in the valley above the town. But those bells had their own style, they would not necessarily ring the right time, the 7 AM bells would ring 9 times at 7:20 for instance. This intrigued me so much that I would become wide awake counting the bells every morning trying to make sense of it. I am sure there is a logical explanation and if anyone knows please tell me. One morning the bells rang 7 times at 7 am and I thought well, finally, and rolled over to go back to sleep, then just to annoy me after a pause one more bell! Grrrrr.

We listened to the funeral bells too about three times during our two week stay, they have a mournful tune that sticks in your head and you know it is for a sad occasion. We confirmed this when we were in the square one day and the bells started their mournful cadence and mourners carried a casket down the many steps of S. Andrea.

Each morning after the bells got me up, all the other women in the apartments of the town and I would do what is most important to us. From my balcony I watched as each window would fling open and the lady of the house would toss out bedding to air out on the sill, or she would start hanging out laundry or bring in laundry from the night before. And me, well, I was on vacation so I would do my Seaurchin version of yoga and bodyflex breathing and stretching just inside my open doors. This became a routine and I would wait for certain women to do their morning ritual and become concerned when they missed their turn.

We would make breakfast and eat on our dining porch every morning and watch a different set of neighbors from this vantage point. We really felt for one lady whose porch was even with ours but a way down the path, she would do laundry all day every single day. Whenever we passed by and looked out she was either hanging or taking down laundry while her husband yelled to her from downstairs to do something for him. She would run up and down her outside stairs to bring him a glass of water or coffee while he sat with his birdcage or walked in exercise circles. One day as we ate breakfast, she slammed shut the gate and went indoors, changed to a black dress outfit and marched down the stairs with a purpose, this was the day we saw her in town at the funeral I mentioned.

Amalfi is a small town with small town ideas even though it is filled with tourists during the day. Rumours start and run through town, gossip leaps from shop to shop. As we shopped the salespeople would say Oh you are staying in the top apartment, I know.

Most were very friendly when we talked and since we are pretty outgoing some of them took our friendliness the wrong way which caused some problems that I won't go into.

Before I rented in Amalfi I knew not very much about it, but by the time we left we had become to love our adopted small town in the valley by the sea and the people we met and made friends with most of whom were born right in Amalfi and though some had ventured to Britain, Germany and America for work they had all returned to live in Amalfi.
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Old Jun 1st, 2004, 10:33 PM
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Surprise guest? Now I'm really intrigued? Could it be Faithonholiday? or Cousin Bambi?

I'm really enjoying your trip report, SeaUrchin, but of course I want to hear all the parts you've left out.
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Old Jun 2nd, 2004, 02:40 AM
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Seaurchin-
Oh yes, the churchbells!
I had this same crazy experience in 2 other AC towns. Last Easter, of course, the bell system was activated throughout the night for the various processions on Good Friday. I finally came to the conclusion that the bellringers are playing little jokes with each other, I wouldn't be surprised, knowing the local sense of humor! My favorite alarm clock, though, is the crowing of cocks at first light, which is in every little town there, but in Positano,it is such a beautiful way to greet the dawn, and watch the fishermen get started. But then, I'm an extremely early riser!
Looking forward to your surprise guest, and other pictures!
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