Trip Anxieties
 

In less than a week my daughter and I leave on a trip to London, Amsterdam and Paris. I think I have everything under control, but I keep worrying that Things Will Go Wrong.

For one thing, I wonder if I did the right thing to sign up with a tour company (Trafalgar). I worry about the quality and cleanliness of the hotels.

I worry that we will miss some airplane connection or that there'll be some crisis and we will be stranded in some strange airport.

I worry about theft. I find waist-pouches and money belts uncomfortable, but everyone tells me that it's the only way to protect my valuables. At the same time, I am less worried about having money stolen than of losing make-up, glasses etc. while abroad when a thief grabs my purse thinking that I have something valuable in it.

I worry about clothes and the weather. I want to pack light, but I also don't want to do laundry while traveling. (We'll be away for 12 days.) So I feel I have to bring clothes that I may not wear. I can't decide whether an unweildy suitcase is better than not having the right (comfortable, clean) clothes.

I worry that the weather will be rainy and miserable and getting around will be difficult as a result.

I worry about relying on public transportation. I get tired of people telling me that the underground is great or the metro is wonderful. Public transportation is good only for people who don't get lost easily and/or are familiar with the area they are traveling.

I worry about the ATM swallowing my card.

I worry that we will get migraines or the flu and won't have any fun because we are sick.

I worry about a lot of silly things.

The truth is that I have been through some form of all the situations above and lived to tell the story. So I know it won't be so bad.

We will enjoy what we can and get over what is unpleasant. As with everything in life, there will be problems but also great pleasures on our vacation.

Still I am anxious. I worry.

I wonder-- do other people worry as their long-awaited vacation approaches?

Good grief. If I worried that much, I would never leave the house. I've never used a money belt; have missed airplane connections too often; never been a theft victim (knock on wood); always take an extra pair of glasses and a copy of my prescription; don't worry too much about clothes. We pack the night before we leave and pretty much take what we wear at home . . . with the exception of a raincoat. It never rains at home! We actually love rainy weather and enjoy rain during our trips. Public transportation is not terribly confusing since there are maps all over the place, including inside the vehicle. If you get lost, you'll just see something you hadn't planned. That's a good thing. My grandfather always said it wasn't a "real" trip unless you got lost at least once.

If you get sick, it's more fun to be sick in an exotic local than at home. At least that's one way to look at it. I suspect if you stopped worrying that you wouldn't have a migraine!!

As my mother would say, "Stop it!" You'll have more fun . . . getting ready and vacationing. If something goes wrong, fix it and continue on your way the richer for the experience. Life is too short to waste time with all that worry. Live, laugh, love . . . but don't worry!
((@))

12 days without laundry? Even I didnt manage that as a teenage backpacker.

I suggest that for your next trip you 'break out' of the safey of Western Europe and head off to Asia (or S America or central Africa) for a trip. Once you have made it around China or India or Cambodia, then every subsequent trip is a doddle. Its a good way to stop worrying . . .

My first trip to Europe, my sister and I took the Trafalgar London/Paris/Rome tour. It was a great introduction to foreign travel as it provided the security of someone else doing the worrying about the major stuff! After that, I gained the confidence to travel on my own.

You will have a wonderful time IF YOU LET YOURSELF! Sit back and let the tour guide sweat the small stuff. They do this for a living and can help with problems.

Take another look at your list. You'll be surprised how many things you can solve before you leave.

1. You miss a connection, you catch the next plane. As for being stranded in a "strange" airport, an airport is an airport is an airport. There are English-speaking people at all of them and no one has been stranded forever (well, I hear the new Tom Hanks movie is about that situation, but...)

2. Theft. Wear the money belt turned around so the pouch is in the small of your back and you'll never even know it's there. Make-up you can replace. Take your glasses prescription.

3. Clothes and the weather. Look at the temperature tables and go with the odds. The worst that can happen is that you have to stop and buy a shirt or sweater. You are not going to third world countries, remember! And, even though you're with a tour, an unwieldy suitcase is still a pain. Take dark slacks and spot remover.

4. Rainy and miserable weather? My philosophy is that being rainy in Paris/Rome/Amsterdam/London is STILL better than slogging through rain at home. You are STILL on vacation, regardless of the weather. Enjoy it!

5. Public transportation. If you're with Trafalgar chances are you won't have much opportunity to take public transportation but, in the event you do, why don't you trust all the people on here who say it isn't difficult? Everyone here had a first time, too. If you miss a stop you are NOT going to end up in the middle of the Sahara Desert--you can turn around and go back to the correct stop.

6. If the ATM swallows your card, you rely on your daughter!

7. Migraines or the flu? You are definitely working yourself up to a migraine, so you'll probably get that one over with before you leave home :)

Think of the money you're spending and tell yourself you refuse to blow that wad on a lousy time. Then go and enjoy!

And come back to us with a great trip report!

I'd suggest that you aim to do laundry about every 5 days. If you can stretch it to 6, then I guess you only need do it once. You will find a laundromat, I am 100% sure.

I think it's okay to worry. It sounds like you feel you are getting obsessive. Try taking a break from thinking about it. None of the things you're thinking about are that bad. Even if you were somehow dumped in Europe just wearing your nightgown, you'd be okay if you had a credit card or the address of the US Embassy.

How does the song go? "Don't worry...be happy"?

Trafalgar Tour hotels will be fine.
Maybe the weather won't be, but so what? Have fun anyway.
MelJ is right about the moneybelt. Wear it with bulk at back - you'll forget it's there.
I try and use ATMs at banks, when they're open, so I can go in and sort it if my card gets swallowed.
Getting lost is par for the course - you'll see something new you hadn't planned for. It might even be better than what you HAD planned!

SalB - I like what your grandfather said. Someone else also said "The only trips I regret are the ones I didn't make." I like that too.

Your worries sound OH so familiar to me! I used to have the same sort of worries, now I've gone so many times that I know that the worst that can happen is that I'll lose all my luggage and have to go shopping :)

Since I tend to be a worrier also, I just make sure I have backups to the backups. I bring two different ATM cards, credit cards and cash. I keep them in different places. I have copies of everything, including my passport. I also leave a set at home so that I could have stuff faxed to me if necessary.

I've never had a problem where I needed any of the "backups", but it gives me peace of mind to have them. I have gotten lost in the metro, taken the wrong train and gotten off at the wrong spot...but as an earlier poster said, I just consider that part of the adventure! I will see something that I wouldn't have seen otherwise.

You'll have a great time...enjoy!

Surely the whole point of taking a Tour such as Trafalgar is that you have someone to help with most of the problems you are anticipating?

Thanks for the replies.

I think I should have included some smileys or something because maybe it didn't come across that I was laughing at myself for all these anxieties. Mostly I wanted to hear if other people worry like this.

Perhaps I should explain that the last time I was in Europe (nine years ago) was under tragic circumstances. (My father was in what turned out to be a fatal accident while sightseeing and I had to rush across the Atlantic to help my mother cope with the crisis.) I know that if the worst that happens on a trip is that you miss a plane connection or your pocket gets picked, you are really very lucky.

That being said, I have no intention of doing laundry if I can avoid it. With a 26" suitcase, I think I can. 12 changes of underwear and socks don't take up that much space. Most tops can be worn twice, so I should get by with 4 short sleeve and four long-sleeve and a couple of tank tops. Most slacks can be worn 3 or 4 times, so I will be fine with four. Throw in a couple of night shirts and my lightweight terry beach robe and I'll be fine.

Some people are probably cringing at the thought of a 26" suitcase. Normally I would too. (I really prefer to travel light.) But I hate doing laundry while traveling. The bottom line is I'd rather lug than scrub. ;)

"Public transportation is good only for people who don't get lost easily and/or are familiar with the area they are traveling." Not true. Two weeks ago I was in Riga, Latvia. And I got royally lost while using public transport, and because of that I saw parts of town I would have never seen otherwise, and met some nice people who led me by the hand to the right bus.

My glasses (the only pair) broke in Cuba (of all places). Again I was led by hand kilometres and kilometres through some back streets of Havanna, and found a very primitive kind of repair shop. Which in spite of the looks did an excellent job and I got my eyesight back in a half an hour.

Unless this is a Troll,Stay home and get professional help!

Try deep breathing. And be sure to take one of those little pink pills the Doc gave you a couple of times a day and you'll be okay.

Don't worry about losing the pills.

<<Mostly I wanted to hear if other people worry like this.>>

I can't speak for anyone other than myself, but NO, I don't worry about anything except maybe turbulence on the plane, which I hate, but which I rationally know isn't going to kill me. Once I'm out the front door with my suitcase,I'm worry-free. It's a vacation, after all.
I've missed airplanes. I've missed trains. I don't wear money belts or other special contraptions to "protect" my valuables, and I've never been robbed. I've had my glasses broken twice while traveling - I had them fixed, so what?
I go with a small suitcase packed with clothes that will suit any weather and still look nice. Weather? I deal with it. No reason for it to spoil anything. I'm just as happy tromping around in the rain as in the sunshine.
Public transportation in a foreign place is just a simple intellectual challenge. Getting sick? I've never had anything worse than a sniffle while traveling - mind over matter, and if that doesn't work, the medicinal remedies and health care in Europe are excellent.
Sorry your last experience with Europe was tragic, but it really does seem as though you need to get a grip. Things do go wrong on trips - it's part of the adventure. You're on a tour, for heaven's sake, where someone else is bearing the brunt of all the major decisions and responsibility. All you really have to do is get there!
Relax and enjoy. It's a VACATION.

Hi Reader,

>Mostly I wanted to hear if other people worry like this.<

Nope. You are the only one in the whole world.

Of course you worry, given the circumstances of your last trip. It's only natural, and no amount of rational argument is going to stop you feeling whatever you feel. The best you can do is corral it away as not being to do with the particulars of this or that trip, but (if you'll forgive the intrusion) rather something to do with your grieving and (I suspect) all the 'if only' and 'what if' feelings we all have after a bereavement. Don't beat yourself up about trying to have a good time abroad - and even the bad times will keep you in stories you'll be able to laugh about.

You don't say how old your daughter is, but I'm assuming she's not a toddler. That means if/when things go wrong, you'll have someone there to share in the misery. I'm generally not a worrier (a waste of valuable time and doesn't change anything) but the week before we left on our 12 day trip to Italy this month, I did have some feelings of dread, which are uncommon for me, so I know a little of what you're feeling. I left my ATM card at home (huge mistake, since it cost me $98 to get $700 cash from my credit card) but oh, well, I survived! My experience with European hotels is that they are old and crummy but clean, and the bathrooms are crowded (bidets take up a lot of space)but they generally have lots of character. Just think of it as an adventure, and all the memories you'll have. I carried a bag all over Italy and had no problem - we were careful in crowded areas, always had my bag zipped and closed and turned towards me. As for underwear, I packed one for each day and was happy. My kids didn't, and had to wash them and hang them. Sometimes they dried, sometimes they didn't. We did train trips every 3 days, so only took a large carry on suitcase with 3 pairs capris and lots of plain tops to switch around and one jacket, which was great. Roll each garment individually and you'll be surprised how much you can stuff in there! ENJOY

Two years ago on vacation in Austria it was so hot in Vienna that I was happy when it did rain lightly--sometimes its a blessing.
One day in France it rained so hard that our umbrellas inverted so we had to buy 2 rain parkas with hoods--they do come in handy.
We also had problems getting cash out of the ATM machines so I suggest you think about taking some American Express checks--we simply exchanged our checks at a local American Express office.
We use one moneybelt--I make sure that I take a purse with short handles and keep it close to my body.
Take peppermint candies with you they seem soothing when your stomach gets a little upset.
We usually make a photocopy of the important pages in our passports and put it in the suitcase.
When in France it is polite to greet people with Bonjour.
Something always happens butit never ruins our vacation. Good planning makes me more relaxed in our foreign travels--just make a list of things you want to take and what you want to see and how to get there.
Have a great time!

Hi, Reader. You are not alone. I worry myself to death over every little detail. You cannot imagine the travel packages I have set up: overnight, weekend close, weekend far, weekend beach, one week US, one week overseas. They each have an abundance of similar items (e.g., toothbrush - yes I have a lot) and a variety of specific items like medications (can you get imodium in France?) and bandaids, bandages, toilet paper etc etc - I make myself sick. But in the end, I just toss whatever into the suitcase, make sure the iron and stove are turned off, put the cats in the kennel and leave my worries behind. One way of making this work out is that I imagine the worst and what that would mean. The house burns down? Take the insurance and move somewhere like Italy. One of the cats dies while I'm gone (I've done my best there so I have no guilt) - that means I can take the remaining one and move to Italy. My luggage is lost or the weather changes - SHOPPING SPREE!! I miss a connection? Have a seat at a cafe and drink several glasses of wine. Obnoxious travel companions? Keep a journal and publish it here for a laugh. Having an attractive option diminishes the chances that the fates will play a dirty trick on you. Have your credit cards set up to get cash in addition to the ATM card, always take Trv cks and cash and carry a tiny phone book on your person. These days there is little that can't be fixed. Make a lot of check lists to help you feel better, worry your heart out until you drive away from your house, then ask yourself, "Am I really going on this trip? If so, there is nothing to be done about anything at this point." Then, take a deep breath, relax, make yourself smile, and enjoy! I've found that the best time to worry is after the plane has landed back home - THEN is when I get panicky until I drive up to my house. Go figure. Here's wishing you and your daughter a great time in Europe.

Reader, having spent my entire life trying to convince my mom not to worry about "everything", I'll only say that think how much more wonderful your trip will seem when everything DOESN'T go wrong! Once you arrive and settle in to your first hotel, many of your concerns will be forgotten. Have a fantastic trip with your daughter ... I'm taking my mom to Germany and Austria next week for our 4th European adventure and they are unforgettable times.

p.s. Also, as someone whose sole ATM card was swallowed by a machine 10 minutes before ferrying out of Pireus, my best 2 bits of advice are take 2 ATM cards and/or don't wait until you are down to your last Euro before taking out more cash.