Travel with spouse-getting along
Aug 26th, 2003, 08:40 AM
#21
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PCH, your day to day routine when traveling sounds very similar to ours. We like to do the "thinking" stuff in the a.m., as well, and knock off on touring fairly early (around 3 p.m.) in order to just enjoy some wine, people watching, and soaking up the local atmosphere.
It does work well, doesn't it? Gives you time to see and explore, as well as just relax.
It does work well, doesn't it? Gives you time to see and explore, as well as just relax.
Aug 26th, 2003, 08:42 AM
#22
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... lol, no, no, out of the hotel at 10 a.m., at noon would mean you'd miss the first round of champagne.
... people tend to go to restaurants too early. In Madrid, the normal hour is after 11 p.m., and the hot spots don't get hot until 2 a.m.
... I bet your parents told you to always listen to your sister. They were right!
... people tend to go to restaurants too early. In Madrid, the normal hour is after 11 p.m., and the hot spots don't get hot until 2 a.m.
... I bet your parents told you to always listen to your sister. They were right!
Aug 26th, 2003, 08:42 AM
#23
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Calamari, I'm right there with you. If it were up to my DH to plan, we'd get about as far as the El to O'hare and be stuck. On the other hand I love to plan and he's more than happy to just be lead around. We have a walking tour ritual where he gets a cigar and I get the lenght of the cigar to lead him around reading the descriptions of the places. Especially good in Europe where he can get cuban cigars, the bigger the better!
Aug 26th, 2003, 08:53 AM
#24
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... yes, yes, Statia, exactly right!!!
... perhaps early on, in new cities, we possibly felt a teeny bit guilty not seeing 2-3 places each day, instead of one.
... but with each succeeding trip, we found oursleves coming around the same corner over and over. We needed to change our routine, add a dimension, a sense, not just seeing, but feeling as well.
... Yes, thinking things in the a.m., experiencing the place in the afternoons.
... and now, when we hit a new city for the first time, I use a guide and driver for the first two days (half days), just to get the lay of the land ... and then we drop back into our routine. It really works. And we come home rested and happy, and still with a sense that we saw a lot.
... happy travels, Statia!! I like your style of travel!!
... perhaps early on, in new cities, we possibly felt a teeny bit guilty not seeing 2-3 places each day, instead of one.
... but with each succeeding trip, we found oursleves coming around the same corner over and over. We needed to change our routine, add a dimension, a sense, not just seeing, but feeling as well.
... Yes, thinking things in the a.m., experiencing the place in the afternoons.
... and now, when we hit a new city for the first time, I use a guide and driver for the first two days (half days), just to get the lay of the land ... and then we drop back into our routine. It really works. And we come home rested and happy, and still with a sense that we saw a lot.
... happy travels, Statia!! I like your style of travel!!
Aug 26th, 2003, 09:09 AM
#25
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pchsmiles, I can't bad mouth your merry night owl ways since I burned the candle at both ends for decades.
However, a few years back I slowily started changing my ways until the daytime activity was eventually more important than the late night rambles.
I also follow a 1700 ritual, but I drink wine or beer. Like you, I start downshifting in the afternoon to walk or just people watch. Dinner is usually at 2000 and then back to the hotel at 1000 to plan the next day. Still slip in a late night pub crawl every once in a while.
However, a few years back I slowily started changing my ways until the daytime activity was eventually more important than the late night rambles.
I also follow a 1700 ritual, but I drink wine or beer. Like you, I start downshifting in the afternoon to walk or just people watch. Dinner is usually at 2000 and then back to the hotel at 1000 to plan the next day. Still slip in a late night pub crawl every once in a while.
Aug 26th, 2003, 09:10 AM
#26
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Calamari, I always do ALL travel arrangements, and my husband's participation in all of them goes as far as a question 2 days before the trip: "where is it we're going?" But I prefer it this way otherwise I'd get on his nerves asking 1,000 times if a reservation was confirmed, did he remember this and that... Our different personalities go along perfectly! Of course I plan things only he likes (spending much more time doing what I like 
Aug 26th, 2003, 09:11 AM
#27
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We haven't had a problem since we gave up driving on vacations. We now use trains, buses and excursions to get us where we want to go. We have different driving styles, and while that can be a problem on a regular basis, it always seemed to be more so when in a another country and unsure of where we were going. Anyway, this is working for us.
Aug 26th, 2003, 02:39 PM
#28
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I guess I am lucky. I chose well 45 years ago. My companion/chauffer/navigator/dining companion/concert companion is just about ideal. Like a well known credit card, I don't leave home without her.
I don't know how.
I don't know how.
Aug 26th, 2003, 03:02 PM
#30
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My husband and I are great travelers together. We travel together maybe three times a year. All our OTHER trips are separate! I recommend it! When I travel alone, I can do the things I want to do and not have to worry about whether he wants to go shopping and where/what to eat! The same applies to him, when he travels alone. We have a standing joke at home when we get on each other's nerves... "Aren't you going somewhere?"
Aug 26th, 2003, 03:06 PM
#31
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Big Laugh Bob!
I do all the planning just like I do at home...and his secretary did at the office!
After 42 years we have a system..I do need alone time everyday, especially now that we are both retired. At home I am up at 4:30 or so and have about 2 hours to myself and on the road I'm out of the hotel at 6 AM to wander for a few hours ..if you have never seen a city that early in the morning you are missing something wonderful! we meet up for breakfast at about 8 or so..and have the day together..till about 4 when I need a nap! Then dinner and a cafe or drinks somewhere till bedtime!
Often during the days ..he will find a place or a shop that really justs interest him so I can wander off again for a bit.
Marriage does not mean being joined at the hip!
I do all the planning just like I do at home...and his secretary did at the office!
After 42 years we have a system..I do need alone time everyday, especially now that we are both retired. At home I am up at 4:30 or so and have about 2 hours to myself and on the road I'm out of the hotel at 6 AM to wander for a few hours ..if you have never seen a city that early in the morning you are missing something wonderful! we meet up for breakfast at about 8 or so..and have the day together..till about 4 when I need a nap! Then dinner and a cafe or drinks somewhere till bedtime!
Often during the days ..he will find a place or a shop that really justs interest him so I can wander off again for a bit.
Marriage does not mean being joined at the hip!
Aug 26th, 2003, 03:14 PM
#32
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I do believe that traveling together can make or break a relatinship. I have traveled with boyfriends and had started the trip thinking I was so in love, and by the end of the weeks I would be back in like, if that.
It is intense to be with someone all day every day, your good and bad habits can't be hidden and what started out as a cute habit can become very annoying indeed.
Now when I travel I need alone time and then the meeting up again time is that much better.
It is intense to be with someone all day every day, your good and bad habits can't be hidden and what started out as a cute habit can become very annoying indeed.
Now when I travel I need alone time and then the meeting up again time is that much better.
Aug 26th, 2003, 04:06 PM
#35
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Calamari...Maybe we should start a club. I too plan everything all the trips, even when we bought our house I just picked it out and he said o.k. . I have a very agreeable husband, he said it's the secret to our happiness, He always gives in.
My husband is a consultant and he works at home so on most occasions we are together24/7 and I wouldn't change it for the world. I plan all the trips and he just adds what he wants to do when we get there.
This of course has lead me to some places I never wanted to go to. Euro Disnay and The Ripley's Believe it or not Museum in Orlando. We rotate off in restaurant choices and just sort of meander thru the trip letting things happen as they may. Sometimes we go off on our own and see what we want .
We enjoy our time together and exploring new things and places. I wouldn't want o travel with anyone else, but I do , and when I do I an looking for things to see and places to go with him when we got together.
My husband is a consultant and he works at home so on most occasions we are together24/7 and I wouldn't change it for the world. I plan all the trips and he just adds what he wants to do when we get there.
This of course has lead me to some places I never wanted to go to. Euro Disnay and The Ripley's Believe it or not Museum in Orlando. We rotate off in restaurant choices and just sort of meander thru the trip letting things happen as they may. Sometimes we go off on our own and see what we want .
We enjoy our time together and exploring new things and places. I wouldn't want o travel with anyone else, but I do , and when I do I an looking for things to see and places to go with him when we got together.
Aug 26th, 2003, 04:49 PM
#36
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We do pretty well together. Then again, we hang out together at home too. I like her company and she puts up with me.
I tend to be a lot more interested in travel "research" in general (ie Fodors but who are we kidding? Research? I'm reading all sorts of place infromation. Fascinating stuff) I'll compile a lot of info on what's available to do and facts on prices, opening/closing times and transport. She makes sure I don't mortgage the farm.
When it comes time to choose accommodations, we choose together, but our tastes are similar. We dine when and where we are hungry, based on what we find at the time, with recommendations of the day if possible. We look over the list of to-dos and work something out. Never had a fuss between us over that bit.
I think the only time things ever got stressful is when I'm the one driving on the left.
I'm not sure "LOOK OUT FOR THE WALL!... Geez that was close" counts as a disagreement though. That wall <i>did</i> get close.
I tend to be a lot more interested in travel "research" in general (ie Fodors but who are we kidding? Research? I'm reading all sorts of place infromation. Fascinating stuff) I'll compile a lot of info on what's available to do and facts on prices, opening/closing times and transport. She makes sure I don't mortgage the farm.
When it comes time to choose accommodations, we choose together, but our tastes are similar. We dine when and where we are hungry, based on what we find at the time, with recommendations of the day if possible. We look over the list of to-dos and work something out. Never had a fuss between us over that bit.
I think the only time things ever got stressful is when I'm the one driving on the left.
I'm not sure "LOOK OUT FOR THE WALL!... Geez that was close" counts as a disagreement though. That wall <i>did</i> get close.
Aug 26th, 2003, 05:56 PM
#37
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But Clifton that wall <i>was</i> so close! My left elbow still aches from the stress of pressing it against the passenger door, trying to will the car away from the wall. Heck, if I'd opened the window, I'd have had dermabrasion on my cheek! But you told me the other wheels were on the center line...how could both be true? Yet they were. Wait...my DH isn't Clifton! You mean it wasn't just us?
Every other car on that road through the Lake District was having the same discussion?
Driving is our only issue, normally, otherwise we are , walk, walk, walk, and late meals wherever we are, just as at home. Our interests are very much the same, so that is rarely an issue. Golf during a trip to Scotland is beginning to rear it's ugly head though--that may be an issue as entire days on the golf course aren't in my plans, but there will be no way he goes to Scotland without playing, so major compromises will be in the works for this trip.
Every other car on that road through the Lake District was having the same discussion?
Driving is our only issue, normally, otherwise we are , walk, walk, walk, and late meals wherever we are, just as at home. Our interests are very much the same, so that is rarely an issue. Golf during a trip to Scotland is beginning to rear it's ugly head though--that may be an issue as entire days on the golf course aren't in my plans, but there will be no way he goes to Scotland without playing, so major compromises will be in the works for this trip.
Aug 26th, 2003, 06:15 PM
#38
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DW and I are celebrating the big 50 this October. We share almost all aspects of travel and love it all (minus the coffee for me). I try to get fresh squeezed OJ instead. We love art, music, architecture, history, museums, and interesting people. We love good food and great wine, too. There's nothing like traveling with your best friend. It's even better when you're lovers.
Aug 26th, 2003, 06:45 PM
#39
Mrsbu, I do the same! Picked out house, husband said ok!
We collectively agree on the destination, then I plan, make the reservations, and all my husband does is pack his suitcase and we're gone!
Since the kid (now 14) was born, I've become a morning person and my husband sleeps 'til noon. Which is fine, since I can run around the town on my own, which I enjoy, get back, and then the 3 of us are out checking out the place together. My husband gets time on his own too, because there's nothing more boring than going into a shop you don't want to go to and standing there while your spouse looks around.
In other words, we're on vacation, and we do what we want to do together, split up for things that interest only one of us, and make sure our kid gets to do activities and see things that are of interest to him. I did the martyr mother thing 2 weeks ago by spending the entire day at Legoland in Windsor while my husband -- jeez, what did he do that day?!?
We collectively agree on the destination, then I plan, make the reservations, and all my husband does is pack his suitcase and we're gone!
Since the kid (now 14) was born, I've become a morning person and my husband sleeps 'til noon. Which is fine, since I can run around the town on my own, which I enjoy, get back, and then the 3 of us are out checking out the place together. My husband gets time on his own too, because there's nothing more boring than going into a shop you don't want to go to and standing there while your spouse looks around.
In other words, we're on vacation, and we do what we want to do together, split up for things that interest only one of us, and make sure our kid gets to do activities and see things that are of interest to him. I did the martyr mother thing 2 weeks ago by spending the entire day at Legoland in Windsor while my husband -- jeez, what did he do that day?!?
