Travel romance - should I revisit or just enjoy the memory?
 

I'm sure I'll get flames and snide remarks for asking this question. But since vacation romances are part of the travel experience for many of us, I think it's a legitimate question.<BR>I am returning to a foreign city where I had a storybook romantic fling. We had kept in contact for a few months, and I was to call when I planned to return. Now it's been a year and I'm returning. He could be married by now for all I know. Something inside of me says just let the memory stay the way it is, that the next encounter could never be the same. But I would love to see him again! Any advice or experiences?? Thanks!

Go for it - you only live once! Maybe he's been thinking of you as well. Can't hurt to give him a call. Good luck!

Hee Hee, I had one of those. I nervously when to where I knew he would be a year later (he is a restaurant manager) and was happy when he saw me and broke into a huge smile and took me in his arms! Now I'm gone again and who knows when I'll go back. But it was another great connection. What have you got to lose? I say, nothing ventured nothing gained.

Just do it! There is a reason why you are returning. Go there and find out. Best of luck!!!

I went back to find a holiday romance, and it was pretty awkward. He wasn't at all as I remembered, and that "spark" that made me confide intimiate secrets after knowing him just hours was no where in sight.<BR><BR>However, ask yourself a few questions. What are you hoping will happen, best case scenario? Now, what will you risk by not taking the chance? At the very least, he can be a great story that you tell your grandkids. At the very most, he could turn out to be the love of your life!

Thanks for the quick responses! Actually I go to Italy a lot, I'm not returning to visit him (honest!). You're right, what have I really got to lose (maybe I'm scared he'll say he has a girlfriend or is married, but then again, when has that ever stopped an Italian man LOL) and it will ruin the romantic goodbye and the fantasy I have. But I do think it's worth taking a chance, I greatly doubt theres a serious relationship in the cards, but perhaps we can have more fun and romance!

A friend of mine went back after about a year to visit a man she had had a little fling with in Italy. On this second trip she found out a little more than she bargained for and the spell was broken for good. Her memories of even the first trip are ruined now. <BR>He had lied about almost everything including his name when they met and it went downhill from there.

Do it mah girl! Dont regret not having seen him.Get the most out of it when he is still there.So what if he's married or attached? If you dont have any expectations you wont be disappointed. I have had a few flings and the only thing I regret (before they get married or go away) was not doing enough or going to more romantic places for great sex under the stars.Carpe diem!

Great advice. How come all the posts are from women?

I also had one of those... I returned to the city with no itention of seeing him again (it was 3 years later), and this time I was there on business. I didn't want to disturb my "perfect memory". <BR><BR>Can you believe that I went to the company where I was having my business meeting-- and HE (yes, the SAME one) was now working for that company and was a part of the meeting I was attending?! What a small world... <BR><BR>t

What IS THIS ?!?!? Dear Abby ?? Please keep the posts TRAVEL related..

Dear "A Male"<BR>Please re-read my first paragraph. If you still don't get it, apparently you've never experienced an unexpected romance on holiday, or can't even imagine one, my condolences. To everyone else, thanks for your input : )

At least notify him ahead of time to see if he is interested in seeing you. You will feel stupid if you drop in on him and his new family, etc. On a related note, particularly for "Duh", often "romance" for women is a euphamism for a NICE dinner and getting laid.....

Sure, plan to see him, but as one poster suggested, write to him in advance - and then see what he says. You can tell him about your concerns - and give him an easy out - just tell him to wish you well and to have a great trip IF he is not interested in seeing you again. If he is interested, why not go very slowly - and if you two can talk about your concerns, in a neutral place, then perhaps this trip will be special after all - you'll have shared a great moment with another person you care about. I have been through this too. I wish you well.

I am male. (Bobochacha is a sweet dessert in my country.) I guess if you have been contacting each other that means it wasnt just a one-off fling. It is easy to "check" with him if he's still interested. My male view is that he still is.

I guess I don't get it: Apparently, he isn't worth a true romance, i.e. a relationship, but is good for a quickie. Can't you hook up with someone a little closer? Are you desperate, or have you slept with everyone in your area?

Travelgirl if he has not bothered to contact you then I would not. Just let it be a memory. I have to agree with a previous poster. Concentrate on things that are real in life. Personally I am not into chasing men. Just my 2 cents........

Travelgirl, for whatever it's worth, I'm male and had a wonderful time in Munich on a week's visit there with a splendid German woman with whom I enjoyed seeing the city and a trip into the Alps. In male-speak she was a 9. I went back to Munich 4 years later and walked to her apartment building. I did not ring the bell because at the last minute I decided not to risk altering the memory of a pleasant time. Perhaps I was foolish but the memories were as important for me as a possible replay. Good luck whatever you decide.

I appreciate ALL (okay most LOL) of the responses, and I'm going back in forth with my decision. To the Munich guy, sounds like you know exactly what I'm feeling, and you still have your memory intact, that's something I don't want to lose. To 2 cents, I'm not saying I'm anything special, but believe me, the men come running to me, I don't have to chase. This was a nice guy that I had a great time with, there's nothing wrong with looking him up when I'm in the neighborhood. This is 2002 after all!

...and to "curious" too. No I'm not desperate. Does an independent woman who takes control of her love life threaten you or bother you that much?