ChrissySue

Your answers are all very interesting. This family that we will be staying with are the parents of our exchange student, who lived with us for the past year. It's funny reading some of the responses because she had some of these same tendancies. She always took her shoes off, kept her bathroom door closed and didn't use much ice. As for the salary issue, we wouldn't ask our friends in the US that question and we certainly don't plan on bringing it up to our German friends so that won't be an problem. Do Germans become easily offended if someone else picks up the tab at a restaurant or bar. I don't want to seem like we are flaunting our money but our hosts have gone out of their way to plan a great itinerary for us and we will want to repay them in some way.

dfr4848

ChrissySue - to answer your last question, all of you should initially address your hosts as "Herr..." and "Frau...". If they suggest/prefer that you and DH can address them by first names, that does not automatically extend to your sons and they should continue to use the more formal terms unless they are specifically told otherwise.

dfr4848

No, I don't think they will be offended if you offer to pick up the tab at times. Just don't push the issue if they refuse.

Also, another thought on a gift is to take them a book from your city, state, region that you think might be of interest (besides the flowers - definitely yes on the flowers). When we stayed with some friends in Munich several years ago, we had learned that they were fascinated with America's national park system - even though they had never visited any. We gave them an appropriate book and they really seemed to appreciate it.

Linda431

Ira, you crack me up ;-)

Askar

Why would you address them as "Herr" and "Frau" if you speak English with them ?

girlonthego

Sorry to hijack your thread ChrissySue, but we are planning to go to Austria next summer and spend a couple of days with my husband's relatives. The one cousin, in his mid 50's is planning to take a week off of work to show us Austria.
What type of gifts do Austrians/Germans like to get from America? Or should I wait and send them a gift later after the visit to say thanks?
Thanks for any advice.

dncdave

The two things I learned for etiquette are smile and go with the flow. A smile and apology get you pretty far.

travheller

Great advice from many. Do you tell your income?! Knock first at the bathroom door and close it behind you? As opposed to storming in or leaving it open while doing your business?!

Just follow dncdave's advice. Be yourself. Just be polite and courteous. Eat with mouth closed. Smile!

nukesafe

European bathroom door etiquette makes me smile.

My practice wife was English, and when I first visited her parents, I nearly burst a bladder waiting outside the closed portal. I was literally headed for the bushes, whey my FIL discovered the problem.

His explanation was that toilets inside houses was a rather recent phenomenon (by their standards), and people wanted any resultant odors to stay outside, rather than indoors. The custom was to always keep the door closed, and the window open.

This results in REALLY cold bathrooms, and remarkable short stays in them. Particularly in the wintertime.

althom1122

We visited a German couple several years ago that we had met on the flight over (we were going to be in their hometown at the end of our 3 week trip). The woman asked if she could get us something to drink. I asked for water, please, and she said sorry, they were out of water. I must have looked extremely puzzled (how could they be out of water?). I, of course, meant tap; she meant bottled. We had a good laugh when we figured out what the other was referring to... (couldn't resist sharing)

Lawchick

Girl on the go - for a 50 year old Austrian I would bring a book - ie something with lots of photos of where you live. A bottle of something would also go down well.

If he works - a fancy business card holder. They are alsmost as bad as the japanese when gib=ving out business cards, so I've found the business card holder to be a good gift.

girlonthego

lawchick: Good idea on the book. He is a man who likes to travel. A book on our homestate of VA might be interesting. VA has some winieries. Maybe a bottle from there? Can you bring a bottle of wine on the plane these days?

BoniseA

When we were in Germany, I had problems getting water without gas. I would ask for still water and they wouldn't have it. I'd try to get tap water but they don't do that either.

I ended up drinking mineral water which I really didn't like.

To get regular bottled water ask for still water. At first I tried asking for non gassy water and everyone thought that was pretty funny.

Pegontheroad

I'm really enjoying this thread.

As to Ira's comment about not mentioning the war, I would have thought that would go without saying, but several years ago we met an American man in Oberammergau who commented that the Germans didn't like to talk about the war. Obviously he had tried to do so.

I can't imagine asking anyone at home or in Europe about his or her salary. I don't know how much my brothers or my nephews earn--to say nothing of my friends or neighbors.

I was in Germany last year and saw four teenaged boys meeting on the street. They all shook hands with each other. It looked very sweet somehow--a bit old-fashioned.

PJK

We are going to Germany this fall, so after reading about formally addressing people, I am wondering how I should address someone whose name I do not know. How do I address the person behind the desk at a hotel or B and B? Should I use Frau or Herr with "Good Morning?"? Is there a Sir and Madam equivalent or is Frau and Herr used as Mr. and Mrs. as well as Sir and Madam?

I teach English to international students and have had several German students who are always among my favorites. Asian students have asked me how much I make and how much I paid for my house, but the European and South American students have never ask.
PJK

Zerlina

Herr and Frau *only* mean Mr. and Mrs.

If you don't know someone's name, you can't address them with either.

hausfrau

Germans say "Herren und Frauen" the way we say "ladies and gentlemen" in English, but as far as I know there is no common equivalent for Sir / Madame in German. (No one says Meine Dame!) It's perfectly acceptable to say "Guten Morgen" or "Guten Abend" without any personal address attached.

KatherineAM

What a coincidence! I am also from Virginia and am going to Europe, where my family (me, hubby, two teenaged girls) will travel for a week before spending a week with a German family. They all have a great sense of humor, so I am not worried to much about offending them. When my dad's cousin was over here, he changed into his bathing suit on the beach in front of everyone. I doubt I could do too much worse than that.

Gut fahrt! (That means 'Have a good journey', right?)

JJ5

When I visited my German relatives I was always aware about the hot water heater level- because I didn't want to short out someone else.

It really wasn't hard as you needed to heat before using where we were- and each bathroom had separate ones.

I found the entire thread very much spot on. They are more formal in body language than we are at home in Chicago.

But I have to add that I, from the North/urban environment, have had lots of do-do's around me ask others how much they make, what their house cost etc. All ages too, and some under quite short acquaintance.

girlonthego

Katherine : Gut Farht? LOL I think that is hilarious! My 13 year old is going to take German 1 this school year. I am sure she will like saying that
We are thinking one week in Austria and one week in Barcelona Spain. Two totally different worlds. The week in Austria is to see where my mother in law grew up and of course the country itself.
Have a gut farht yourself!!