Grasshopper

Kit, Sounds perfect! And if you meet up with her she'll be even more excited because then she can reciprocate by buying a meal or two.

Lori

Kit, you last message sounded good. I took my mother to Hawaii about 5 yrs ago and did a "home made" (well, computer) gift certificate for her .. she was delighted beyond my expectations. I think parents feel funny about cash from their "kids" no matter what the age of the kids may be. Incidentally, 58 is NOT old by any means so I'd not recommend a tour unless she wants one. There are plenty of "day trips" in all cities that she can take if she wants a tour atmosphere but it's so much nicer to travel without the deadlines and structure of a tour I think.

katie

Sounds like you've come up with a very good plan. I was concerned with the gift certificate idea because that would have locked you into a travel agent. We traveled with OAT and loved the trip--but OAT doesn't work with travel agents. It would be a shame to limit her choices.

Dottie

Kit<BR>Sounds like a very good idea. You and your brother meeting her is more than iceing on the cake...it just might be the cake itself! Being able to share her first trip to Europe with her children and have memories of that is a gift that keeps giving!

Bob Brown

I am have no apologies about feeling the way I do about people who want to "surprise" other people and think they are doing something wise and wonderful. If the so-called surprise cannot be exchanged or postponed, I think the givers are selfish and controlling.<BR><BR>I know if someone gave me a trip to Argentina when I had my heart set on England, I would not be very happy about it. Why not ask? It is after all me that is involved and I am not obligated to accept any so called present I do not want. Why give someone something expensive as a "surprise" and run the risk of the recepient being less than thrilled with it when you could ask a simple question would avoid disappointment and even inconvenience? <BR><BR>It is like the guy I knew who bought his girl friend an expensive engagement ring. He made one big mistake: He had not yet asked her if she would marry him. When she said NO WAY, he was devastated. <BR><BR>I always thought the purpose of a gift was to benefit the receiver, not the giver. My practice where large ticket items are concerned has been to give something that I know the receiver wants; not something I want him or her to have. Why not ask two simple questions: "Mom, we want to give you a trip overseas. Where would you like to go and when would you like to do it?" <BR>Or alternatively, give her a blank check to take the trip and let her initiate her own plans. If she needs help, or asks you to do it for her, that is another matter. Under those conditions, you are acting with the other person's consent with no risk of going contrary to their wishes. <BR>It ain't all that blooming hard!!<BR><BR>

Ruth

Bob - I think that is exactly what kit is suggesting - the "surprise" will be the card saying "here is a trip" and then the booking and organising will take place once her mother has decided where and how she would like to go.<BR><BR>I did a similar (though much smaller scale) gift for my brother once - a home made card offering an "activity day" eg rafting, rally driving etc - he chose tank driving which I then went ahead and booked. He had a ball! Much better than my choosing the "wrong" activity in the first place.

patg

Look at tours offered through art museums, historic societies, the Smithsonian, etc. They are almost all-inclusive, and so take care of all the little things that throw first timers off their tracks. The advantage is that they tackle subjects on a higher intellectual level than a standard tour, and they can get their group into once-in-a-lifetime places. Elderhostel is another approach - more basic accommodations, but a very enthusiastic group.

Sue

I like the idea in your last post, Kit, about helping her make choices, if she wants, or allowing her to do it on her own. Many of us on this site talk about planning the trip as at least half the fun! Also, as we all know, there are ways to find hotels, etc., that don't break the bank but also not as basic as Elderhostel. This is a truly wonderful gift, and best part is you and your brother being able to join them! Bon voyage!

Gerry K

Kit,<BR><BR>Many years ago I gave my mother and her brother, a Catholic priest, a surprise Christmas gift of a trip to Ireland. I surprised her by getting from Aer Lingus<BR>a green flight back in which I put the tickets. Then I had it professionally wrapped in a gorgeous emerald green wrapping paper. It sat under the tree for days, and ultimately proved to be the surprise of a lifetime for her. Perhaps something similar would be worth considering.<BR><BR>It's wonderful of you to do that.<BR><BR>Cheers, and best of luck.<BR><BR>Gerry K<BR><BR>

D.

Since you've recieved so many responses saying that you should get your mother involved in the planning I wanted to respond to offer a differing opinion. <BR><BR>I think if you know your mother well enough to plan a trip for her, then being suprised would be wonderful. I personally have always wanted to be suprised with a gift like that. I have always been the one to plan our entire trips (by choice, I do enjoy the planning) but just once I would like for someone else to say "Here's your tickets. You leave friday." You know your mother and ought to be able to figure out if she would like to be suprised or not. Perhaps you could take her to a local French restaurant to present her trip to her (or Italian if you decide on Italy instead.)

Mike

My S&M tendencies must run deeper than I thought, because just the thought of someone burdening me with a "cruel" unexpected trip really turns me on.<BR><BR>My suggestion is to purchase and present the following:<BR><BR>- roundtrip airfare for two (seven days)<BR>- apartment rental for those seven days<BR>- driver for airport transfers <BR>- reservations & dinner one night someplace really nice<BR><BR><BR><BR><BR>-

Young At Heart

You younger people (I assume you're younger based on your opinions) astound me. Do you think everyone over 50 needs to go with Elderhostel or Grand Circle, etc. on overseas trips? We are 70 and have been traveling for some years now to Europe and elsewhere without assistance, love to try new foods, drive on some trips, train on others. We're returning to Italy in spring, visiting five cities. <BR><BR>You all sound like Kit's mother has one foot in the grave and she's only 58.<BR><BR>Good for you Kit. You're to be commended for your thoughtfulness. I bet you never thought your question would receive some of the responses you've gotten. We'd be thrilled to receive a trip as a gift, even if it wasn't perhaps a favored destination. Go ahead with your plans. Your mom will have a spectacular time in France and Italy!<BR><BR>I hope some of you respondants don't end up like you seem to think older people do!

alsoyoung

Never mind expressing your astonishment, young at heart. My mother enjoyed Elderhostel immensely, and the suggestion that it is for people with one foot in the grave is highly offensive.

michele

Years ago my sister and I put together a first class trip to Hawaii (someplace my Dad had wanted to return for years) for his birthday. It was a surprise, but on us. He turned it down flat. Luckily , we took out insurance on the gift.<BR><BR>I'm with Bob. Ask for input. Some people don't like surprises and some parents don't like elaborate gifts from their children. <BR><BR>M.<BR>PS Similar thing happened to a friend of mine who surprised her husband with a trip to Italy. He loved it, but wished he had been in on it as he really likes the planning aspect of travel.

Young at Heart

Also Young: Obviously you did not read the entire thread. Many suggestions implied these kinds of trips were the only options for Kit's mother. I merely pointed out this was not necessarily the case. I did not suggest that Elderhostel or any other travel organization was only for those with "one foot in the grave." Sorry you got a knot in your undies. Maybe you should read more thoroughly and try to get the point of the posts before going off half cocked.

Jayne

I took my grandmother to ROME!<BR><BR>IMHO if you had to choose a place that would be it.. Paris ok, but ROME offers everything. Roman history (day trips to pompeii and the roman getway villas), + the unashamed opulence of Vatican! The re-enactment of Roman Holiday with Audrey Hepburn and what's his name? - going to the fountain and putting your hand in the mouth (you remember!).<BR><BR>I don't know how long a trip - but I took a 6/6 day trip with Thomas Cook tours - basic package... The package deal gave Nana security, but at the same time freedom for my to map read around the city...<BR><BR>I think the trick is - is to take one-trip of a lifetime - I have never been into doing europe in 13 days - saviour the enjoyment of being together and experiencing a city that is so totally different that any place you have ever been..<BR><BR>I went with my grandmother a bonding experience (I'm truly glad that I did it - I remember the memory forever)

Jayne

Message: I took my grandmother to ROME!<BR><BR>IMHO if you had to choose a place in the world that would be it.. Paris is ok, but ROME offers everything. Roman history (day trips to pompeii and the roman getaway villas), + the unashamed opulence of the Vatican! The re-enactment of Roman Holiday with Audrey Hepburn and what's his name? - going to the trevi fountain and putting your hand in the mouth (you remember!).<BR><BR>I don't know how long a trip - but I took a 6/7 day trip with Thomas Cook tours - basic package ... The package deal gave Nana security, but at the same time freedom for me to try out my map reading reading skills around the city... I felt pretty safe walking around the city at night. (Always with a don't mess with me look).<BR><BR>I think the trick is - is to take one-trip of a lifetime - I have never been into doing europe in 13 days - saviour the enjoyment of being together and experiencing a city that is so totally different than any place you have ever been..<BR><BR>I went with my grandmother it was a bonding experience (I'm truly glad that I did it - I will remember the memory of our time there forever).<BR><BR>&lt;SORRY THIS WAS THE VERSION I WANTED YOU TO READ - PREVIOUS MESSAGE WAS SENT BEFORE I COULD PROOF-READ&gt;<BR><BR>

Lulu

What a wonderful idea! Being 60 years old, I would not accept cash from my children, so I think a gift certificate would be more acceptable. Also, I prefer to plan my trips and as I am an independant traveller, a tour would not be my choice. As another poster commented, you know your mother and where she would like to go. A gift certificate to France and Italy with me planning exactly where I want to go would be my choice. Meeting my children in France and Italy was the highlight of my trips! What thoughtful and generous children your mother raised. Good Luck

Leslie

What's his name is Gregory Peck.

also

youngatheart,most of the responses have to do with how to present a trip as a gift, and with the degree to which the parents should be involved in the trip. Only 2 or 3 responses mentioned Elderhostel, generally as an alternative, not as a mandatory requirement.<BR><BR>Yes, I maintain you were rude. But, the way to encourage others to be more polite would have been for me to have phrased my response more politely, and for that I apologize.