Too bad some people spoil this site for others.
 

This message is for all you people who become so outraged when ever you don't like what someone is posting.! <BR>*****Especially******* for Mel @biteme.com, who so nicely told me to put up or shut up in replying to "Traveling with a toddler". <BR>What I pointed out in my reply to "Traveler" was that it shocks me how vehemently some people respond to posters, either when they don't like their posting, they don't believe what the poster says, or they think it is a troll. <BR>I am just astounded that it matters so much to some, that they become nasty and rude. <BR>****WHY***? <BR>I have been on this site two months, and have learned some great things, and had fun. <BR>But you know what? <BR>It's not fun anymore. <BR>How many other people have you discouraged from coming to this site? <BR>Nancy <BR>Mel, don't waste your energy with a nasty reply to this.

Nancy <BR>Now you know why some of us post anonymously. <BR>nomame anymore

Nancy <BR>Do not give up on this site because of some nasty people who have nothing better to do than pick on others. There is only one way to deal with them, ignore them and do not respond to their comments on the thread. Whether they like to be mean, annoy, create a stink or get attention is hard to say. If you do respond they invariably want the last word. That is not to say that there may be differences of opinions (vive la difference,) but stating your case is alot different than personal attacks on the individual. Sometimes people even read things into comments that were not originally intended which will spark debate (not attacks)! <BR> So take heart, there is so much wonderful knowledge, experience, kindness and humor from the bulk of the posters to be gained/received that this far out weighs the negative people, so keep on posting. <BR>

I agree with some of the posters. I think the original post was bogus just to start trouble. When we see things posted that we know are there just to bait us we should just not respond and hopefully they will go away. If you want to see a totally useless site filled with nothing but nagging, baiting and rudeness, try Fieldings Cruise site.

Mary Ann, <BR>Thanks for advice, but I still find it hard to ignore some of these meanspirited replies!Responding does no good I am sure, but they flavor the whole feeling of this site sometimes! <BR>Sally, <BR>I ,too, have some doubts as to whether that was a valid posting, "Traveler with Toddler" <BR>But my point, which Mel responded to so nastily, was that whether or not it is a troll, or whether or not people don't like her question, <BR>Why do people have to respond in such an aggressive and mean way? <BR>What is the point ? <BR>Your solution to a troll, etc,. is a good one, but unfortunately not all respond that way. <BR>Thanks for the tip on that other site, my heart just couldn't take that! <BR>Nancy

Nancy, I understand your frustration. I have been doing my part to help. When I see an unnecessarily nasty personal attack, I try to quickly chime in and gently remind the offender of his/her manners. I do this for two reasons. First, when one is the victim of a personal attack, it really does tend to result in bruised feelings. When it happened to me, I felt better when other people chimed in and stuck up for me. Second, it often does make the nonsense stop, if done in a polite, gentle, brief way, and curiously, no one has ever attacked me back. So I don't completely agree that the best strategy is to ignore people who get rude; that leaves the poor victim just hanging out there. I say the decent people on this forum should just gently remind them of their manners the way I might remind my children. <BR> <BR>By the way, Nancy, I have enjoyed your post and find them to be a breath of fresh air. Keep fighting the good fight.

Please don't leave the forum - as long as those of us who are trying to be legitimately helpful, and are polite and considerate in the process, outnumber the rude or abusive participants, we can keep the forum useful and productive. Let this be an object lesson that good can triumph over stupid.

The first thing which comes to mind when I read the ignorant posts is: <BR> <BR>shame on you. anyone who has the capacity to sit at an internet terminal is (by their very demographics) someone who should likely be counting his or her blessings - and not wasting time on mean spirited and JEALOUS postings. <BR> <BR>So what if some people here have a lot more money than you have? It happens - get over it. Traveling is meant to be a mind OPENING experience for anyone - but it seems that the ignorant people who have nothing better to do than snipe and pick at others - are very NARROW MINDED. (which says to me that they are here as wanna-bes - and probably haven't traveled farther than the fridge at halftime.) Traveling would do these people SOME GOOD. <BR> <BR>for the record (and I don't care if you don't believe me either, frankly) the "traveler with toddler" was a quite real person, a DIRECTOR at the VERY LARGE company at which I work, who asked me (a several-times-traveler to Europe) for advice on neat places to go, things to see and do with kids... as I do not have children, I do not look at the traveling world through those eyes. Most people without children probably would not. and I am quite certain she is aware of the limitations involved - but it was just a simple, innocent question for Pete's sake! lighten up already... <BR> <BR>I am very embarrassed to have sent her on what I thought was a neat little "mission" - she had never heard of this site before. Who knows if she'll be back. Also for the record, she happens to be a very very very nice person - who was genuinely hurt by the dimwits who responded to her post in such a snide fashion. (go on then, get your jollies by that statement - you know who you are, you pathetic little twerps). <BR> <BR>I have been on this site for a few months (and MOSTLY enjoyed it - even getting a chuckle out of the ignoramuses) but I do agree with some comments - in just a few MONTHS I have seen a sharp increase in the mean spirited comments. Maybe we should make people enter their frequent flyer numbers in, to prove that they have actually GONE SOMEWHERE and have something to say, before being allowed to post... <BR> <BR>sheesh. have a GREAT DAY everyone.

Hi Beth <BR> <BR>Brava!

And PLEASE don't write ten messages to every post saying "THIS IS A TROLL" unless it is really outrageous and you are SURE it is a troll. How would you feel if you had a unique and strange problem; you ask for help, only to be told several times that you are a liar, and it's only a troll, and please nobody help you. Nice, eh? And anyway, I find trolls amusing and interesting to read. If the person has nothing else to do than post false messages, we should feel sorry for them instead of attacking them. Maybe it's the only amusement in their whole life! :-)

To Mom, Janice and Beth, <BR>***Thank you very much for your words and understanding. <BR>It was very shocking to read Mel's reply,which seemed so personal and uncalled for! <BR>I really have enjoyed being here and have gotten some great advice, support and enjoyment from most of you. <BR>Beth, <BR>I had never even heard of a troll until very recently, and have always assumed most postings here were legit, (except for the really silly ones) <BR>I am sure your friend is a very nice woman! <BR>Not all on this site may agree with her lifestyle, or her choices, <BR>***but*** they are her choices, and it is her lifestyle! <BR>Personally, I never traveled far when pregnant, or with a toddler (infact we are only now, , being brave enough to travel to Europe and our kids will be 10 and 13!) <BR>And I was raised by a nanny/housekeeper, so I know what that is like. <BR>But those are my choices, and these are Michelle's choices. <BR>Please tell your friend that I hope she has a blast this trip, and good luck with her baby! <BR>And to come back ,please. <BR>Nancy

It's probably my imagination, but the icky posts seem to occur every summer, right after school lets out. <BR> <BR>My favorite trolls are the provocative query/post. No one responds, so the troll responds with something even more provocative. Still no one bites, so he comes back with a response to the response, even more provocative. If still no one bites, he responds to the response, expanding the thread and level of meanness. Eventually, he quits - probably when his father tells him to get outside and mow the lawn.

elvira <BR>as usual you've hit the nail on the head, re the increase in ickyness being related to the end of the school year, because most of the nasties don't offer travel information, they just like posting. You've restored my faith in travelers. <BR>Hope business at the lemonade stand picks up.

Someone told a workmate to come here and post a question like the one posed on the "Travel while pregnant with toddler" thread? Anyone who has read this forum even for a few months would know people will react very badly to the sort of question Michelle posed. No clue about where to go. Pregnant. Bringing baby. Bringing nanny. Maybe this person is nice, but clueless, and this is not a good place to get a clue. Michelle was called a troll, but I can tell you people who have posted questions like that have often been called far worse, and if everyone had taken the post seriously, the lashing would have been much worse. I think she got off pretty easy, and hopefully she now sees the folly of her plan and will go to a really nice beach.

I have been attacked three times since posting at fodors.com (been here for about 4 years now). All three times I have ignored those people. They are not worth my response or anyone else’s response. I’m better than they are. They are people who have not matured and have nothing better to do than antagonize and bait people into a fight. Three fodorites defended me on one of them and that made me feel good. I’ll continue to post here and will continue to ignore those who say negative things about me.

ROTFL!!! Do you people really have nothing better to do all day then park at some internet travel site and complain about every little thing that tweaks you? And to create a entirely separate post to do so? <BR> <BR>Nancy, you have no control over this site and no control over the internet, and you never will. You're going to have to accept that or continue to feel frustrated and angry all the time. You participate here voluntarily, as does everyone. If it's causing you this much stress perhaps you need a nice long break from it. <BR> <BR>You can't control other people, got that? So please, get ahold of yourself and do a little a reality check. All the rest of you whiners as well. Go back to work and stop worrying about all this. If this travel lounge and the people on it is your major problem in life, you need to turn off the computer and get outside more often.

Hey ya'll. <BR>I too ignore the icky stuff. I learned SO MUCH from this sight before going to Paris and Germany that I felt as though I had already been there. The majority of people who post on this site are legit and VERY knowledgeable and will even hlep you via personal Emails (thanks to Elvira and Wes!) if they can. Keep up the good work Fodorites and I for one will keep readin'!

I agree with simmer. Anyone serving cheese with all the whines? <BR> <BR>And yes, if your tender feelings are easily bruised, you'd best keep searching for that internet Utopia, cuz it ain't here.

Don't leave because of this behavior. It seems to be the norm on the web. You just have to grow a thicker skin and say "I don't know these people, so what do I care whether they attack me for no reason." Now, if you get attacked for a reason, I guess that is something different.

The best piece of advice I have ever gotten or ever will get (so I assume) was from the owner of the first company I worked for. I didn't get along with my shift manager so the owner of the store sat me down and told me " There are #**holes everywhere, at every job you work, every neighborhood you live in, every group you join. If you run away from one #*&hole, you will spend the rest of your life running away from #**holes. <BR>Truer words were never spoke!Luckily in this forum, I tend to see more helpful people then otherwise. Ignore what you don't like, absorb what you do!

Good point made by Thyra. Another point: in your workplace you most likely gossip and talk about the one you consider to be the a**hole, or anyone who else isn't present at the moment right? Well guess what? When you're not around, your co-workers gossip about you. No one is immune, no one is holier-than-thou, no one is universally loved by all people. Some people even think YOU are the a**hole. What a shock, huh? <BR> <BR>Best to just get on with your business and stay away from backbiting and complaining and such, because what goes around always comes around. Where's there's people, there's politics, and you can't escape it.

God, you guys are something else! <BR>This is mostly directed to Simmer and Quit! <BR>Now it is Nancy's fault because she is too sensitive? <BR>I think all she was trying to say was she was surprised at the way some people get so bent out of shape, and get catty because of assumptions, etc. <BR>Also to XXX, <BR>You said "This is not a place to get a clue" and that Michelle got off easy. <BR>Easy from what ? <BR>Do you guys dish out "punishment" to who ever you fell is undeserving ? <BR>What is this site for, but for people to gather info. <BR>And are you the arbitrator of plans, i.e. Michelle should see the folly of her plan? <BR> <BR>

April, I will amend my statement that "This is not a place to get a clue." I suppose if you enjoy being hacked to bits, and if you feel good about strangers commenting on your parenting and lifestyle choices because you offered them up for comment, this is definitely the place to do a post like Michelle's. In that case, you will be given a clue, and in a hurry! Personally, I didn't dish out the "punishment" Michelle got. I just saw it coming from the instant I read Michelle's post. You didn't?

xxx., <BR>No I didn't see it coming. I didn't realize that that is what some people do on this site! <BR>Why should people who post think that they/what they said will be torn to pieces? <BR>

April, <BR>The reason I saw it coming was that I once searched for the words "baby", "kids" and "children" on the U.S. board. Two threads in particular were amazing. One was on taking a baby to Hawaii; one was on seating kids in the back of the plane. Man, people get really hot about this "kids" issue. Throw in the nanny and the pregnancy, and you are really going to take a beating. Sorry Michelle ran into such a buzzsaw, and it is too bad her friend didn't warn her. <BR>

As harsh as they sound, comments from Simmer, Thyra and Learn are worth chewing on. <BR>Nancy, the reason some people are nasty, of course, is because of the anonymity this site affords. (It can be an interesting study in human interaction at times). <BR>But many of the nasty posters are only responding as such because they are blowing off steam, or pranking, or frustrated with their own lives or some combination thereof. By all means avoid taking ANY of those comments personally. These people don't know you. They can't see the context of your life and personal experiences. <BR>Simply put, extract the good info available here as you see fit and quickly skip past the dross. It just doesn't matter.

There are plenty of jerks and wierdos in any group, since there are so many out there in the world. Let it roll off and move on for goodness sakes!

Thanks Harv, <BR>Nancy

I participate in another question and answer site and we get into discussions like this too from time to time. I don't understand responding to any question in a rude way, whether one thinks it is silly or not. You don't know the person who is asking it. They may really need your help. And informing them of the "truth" in a brutal way seems to be counter to the purpose of the site. I agree it is often best to ignore weird responses, but when there is real meanness (sp) aimed at someone in particular it is hard to stay silent and maybe not for the best. Don't let the people who aren't nice drive you away! I'm sure they are in the minority. Don't let them get you so upset.

<BR>Travel lounge?

thyra and learn to relax <BR>Great messages. Amazing how one can relate!