I very rarely get bad service anywhere, and I don't think my experience is unusual. Good service is the norm, and bad service the exception.

As the OP here did, and as some others are trying to do, I like to learn the local custom on tipping wherever I visit, and work with that. For normal good service, I tip at the level that is customary for that place; for better or worse than normal, I adjust up or down.

My use of the word "bribe" seems to have vexed NeoPatrick. It might not be the best word, but I was provoked by auldyins's defence of what looks like overtipping -- that people rarely refuse money: that does not mean that it is appropriate to give it. What would an Italian in Italy tip somebody for serving coffee? That's the reference level.

There is a MAJOR difference between an Italian eating in an Italian restaurant and not leaving a tip, and MY eating in an Italian restaurant and not leaving one (or leaving one, if you prefer).

The waiter in Italy waiting on me generally will have to "put up" with my very limited and slow attempt at speaking his language. He will invariably have to take more time with me than his local customers because he may have to struggle to tell me in English what a few things are. While many regulars order their standard wine, I am likely to require more of my waiter because I don't know the local wines. I will often enter into a full conversation about the local wines and let him help guide me with a good selection. (I'm talking just standard, everyday restaurants -- not special ones, by the way).

In nearly every case, I have found that these "extra requirements" that I have are met with at least polite responses if not with genuine interest and helpfulness. Very often (probably because I'm a friendly sort of person) the waiter will engage us in friendly conversation as well -- asking how we like the area, what we've done, where we're from, etc.

I can understand a local not tipping his server for doing what is required. But please don't begrudge me for "rewarding" that same server who has taken more time and effort to wait on me and in most cases has gone out of his way to make my evening more special.

If my requirements and service were the same as what the local person requires and gets, then maybe I would be more likely to not tip, but the fact is -- my requirements and service are nearly always MORE.

And more times than not I will hand the extra to the waiter and thank him for "his very good English" or for "trying to work with my Italian" or for "making our evening so special". It is a REWARD, not a bribe.

Patrick, what an excellent post...and so right!

NeoPatrick, you seem to have become fixated on my use of the word "bribe"! I was characterising a particular attitude that I thought had the wrong tone.

What you have described sits quite well with what I said: if you seek and get something more than normal good service, you adjust the tip accordingly. But I think it unlikely that one would need extra effort from a server if all you wanted was a coffee or a beer -- not impossible, but unlikely.

Padraig, you're right. I was fixating on what you SAID rather than what you MEANT. It's always easier to read what somebody said than it is to figure out a "tone" he may have wanted to suggest. LOL

Peace.

Let it be noted that I did not bribe NeoPatrick in order to bring about peace.

I merely adjusted the level of the tip.

We have Italian friends and have been to Italy 10 times plus - going to Elba on Saturday- the whole issue of tipping was summed up by one of our male Italian friends -

1. Italy has a macho male culture - one way of showing you are weak of nature is to needlessly give your money away.

2. A male Italian waiter could be insulted that you are patonising him ie here you go little man heres 5 euros for your trouble - in Italy serving is an art form - tipping is generally not needed to thank that profession.

There again to re-iterate other posts to our American friends if you really want to throw your cash away in Europe - we won't think any less of you for it (at least not to your face anyway)

I know waiters in Italy. Not one of them ever told me he was insulted by a generous tip.

apirone: You've encountered some of the stranger responses. And that's saying something here.

If Italian waiters are truly insulted by tips, then why did that one in Venice put the bill down and point out that the 12% service charge went to the restaurant and that a 15% tip is customary. And why did he go running and screaming after the couple who left without leaving any tip? I'll admit that is not usual behavior, but to suggest that waiters don't really appreciate extra money -- please don't insult my intelligence.

Oh, and by the way, when I ran my business I once offered two employees a 5% raise. But both declined. They said they were well paid enough and it was degrading to suggest giving them more money. They didn't want any more. They were perfectly happy with what they earned since I paid them well, and thought that the idea of increasing their salaries was totally unnecessary.

Now. If you believe that, then go ahead and say waiters don't appreciate tips -- anywhere!