Last one was yesterday.
Took my ticket for Thalys at Gare du Nord. Train over full because of holiday (ascension - holy journey ?) machine tells me I have the last.
I board and some body is on my seat. The last seat of the first coach. The lady is not happy. I shrug. She sits on my seat she doesn't even speak French nor English and I don't care. Had a bad day. So I wait. She collects her belongings and moves. Then something bothers me. I realise her companion is actually handicapped and spot his wheelchair and understand he has been given the handicapped seat and she was told to sit next to him.
I become human again and tell her to remain seated. In Dutch since by then I had figured she was Dutch. She is on the brink of tears and says no it is my seat. I guess she had a bad day too.
I apologise profusely and tell her no way I'd seat on that seat and please seat I am not so bad as to separate a wife from his handicapped friend. She refuses. I apologise more and run farther away.
I found another seat (the last if the other coach).
Life can be a bitch.

Did I already post my experience of buying a soda at a wimpy when I was 16 ?
I was in turnbridge wells learning some English and bravely ordered a hamburger.
I did my best and made a full sentence and said' really would like to have a big coke'.
My French accent being worse then than what you can read it must have rung like

´aye reeallie woulddd leyeke to have er bick cock'

The staff was dead laughing.

It had to be explained to me of course but I felt I had said something strange.

So would be all, Wo, but I guess the Belgians are handicapped in that regard.

(Sorry, just couldn't resist a straight line like that.)

Nuke if you want play I am your man.

And as we say here 'il vaut mieux une petite travailleuse qu'une grosse fainéante.

(Better a fit small one than a lazy big one).

Too many

I used to confuse the street rubbish boxes and the mail boxes in London.

My French is so bad, that when I once tried to bargain with a pottery maker, I offered more money than he asked for.

On an Italian rental car, I could only find reverse on occasion. It was the same car, I could only find the switch for the right headlight and only once found the horn by accident. It was an old Citroen with the front bench soldiered to the floor. We stopped in the Dolomites to enjoy the view. When we got back into the car, I could not find reverse and the car jerked ahead toward the abyss a few times. My wife asked, "Do you think it would be wrong if a wife did not die with her husband?"

In Galicia, Spain, our relatives wanted to go to the coast and buy pulpo. There our cousin asked for 30 kilos, my wife and I thought we misunderstood. No, she bought 30 kilos which we put in the trunk. But when we got to their house, every bag had ripped and the trunk was floating with pulpo. When we returned the rental car, we ran before they could open the trunk because it still reeked.

Ttt

lol at 30 kg of pulpo floating in a car, IMDonehere