He/She wouldn't say shi* if he had a mouthfull!!!

One I've always found amusing is: "It does/doesn't make my socks go up and down." LOL

Hells bells and cockleshells ????

My sister, a german student, likes to repeat what she says is a German saying, "I only know train station," which she translates loosely as "It's all Greek to me." For some reason, this saying amuses her greatly, but invariably, we look at her and say "Huh?" If indeed this is a German saying, some nuisance is missing in the translation. I always smile weakly when she says it, and then I change the subject.

Anyone ever heard of that saying in Germany?

"Deer guts" reminds me of one in Indiana from my youth. "Slicker than snake snot on a glass doorknob."

'This is like being nibbled to death by ducks.'

As a feeder of three cats, I can tell you that you do not herd them from the back, you lead them from the front. Try a bowl of kibble or electric can opener in front of the carriers.

The Canadian version of one brick short of a load usually involves something like 'one beer short of a six-pack'.

Nothing to write home about!
and
Dumber than a door nail.

"Don't let the door hit ya
where the good Lord split ya" :)
A military saying...."all ate up" as in "he's all ate up"..

for Patrick:
A half bubble off plumb.

There's more than one way to skin a cat. ick!!

You can't beat that with a stick.

Colder than a witch's t*t in a hailstorm.

He is so low, you have to pull down his socks to see him.

Dpon't know if these phrases are just British or more international:

"She had a face like a bag of spannners"
(actually means "she wasn't very happy")

And admiring an attractive member of the opposite sex:
"You wouldn't kick him out of bed for eating crisps"

I like "dumber than a box of rocks" myself, and "if his IQ were any lower they'd have to water him twice a week." Both came my way courtesy of Molly Ivins, from the great state of Texas.

" He's/She's so narrow minded, he/she can peep through a key hole with both eyes at once. "

Here's one more: Your so skinny that you need to jump around in the shower to get wet.

Apologizing in advance for the scatalogical content of some of favorite sayings!
"Built like a brick sh*thouse"
"Fine as frogs' hair"
"Knee-high to a grasshopper"
and my very favorite, incredibly descriptive expletive.....
"Sh*t on a stick with sugar on it!"

Oh, just thought of another one, courtesy of a Liverpudlian pal:

Said of a very moody person "With him/her it's always up, down, up, down - just like a bride's nightie!"

Righty-ho, Pat, you are correct. Grace Poole is Berthe Rochester's gaoler in "Jane Eyre." It has been donkey's years since I have heard my aunt use that expression, but whilst travelling from Philadelphia to New York via train, I did hear a woman use a similar expression. She was saying to her husband, "Keep at it, Colin, and up to the nursery you go with Grace Poole." I burst out laughing. The woman looked at me and said, "My dear man, you are either British or a teacher because no one in this country gets that one."

"I've seen better legs on a piano."

From the South:
"Higher than a Georgia pine" (someone who's drunk)

"I wouldn't kick him out of bed for eatin' crackers" (someone handsome)

"Plime (plumb) blank" as in "She's plime blank like her daddy" (i.e. she's the spitting image)

"Crazier than a woodrat."

"Country as cornbread."

"Sweatin' like a whore in church."

"Slicker than a greased pig."

"Ain't worth the powder to blow his brains out."

"Sky's blacker than pitch."

"Dumber than a coal bucket."

"It's raining like a cow pissing on a rock."

"Rougher than a (corn) cob." (in reference to when corn cobs were used in lieu of toilet paper at the outhouse but means someone who has a rough manner)

"Can't hear thunder." (someone who's deaf)

"She'd do it if it harelipped Texas (or the governor)." (someone who's stubborn)

"As independent as a pig on ice." (again, someone's who's stubborn)

"Now that dog won't hunt." (what you've just said doesn't make sense)

"If it had been a snake it would've bit you." (looking for something that's right in front of you)

"Nervous as a cat in a room full of rocking chairs."



And I'm still mulling this one:
"Butter wouldn't melt in her mouth" (someone who's insincere)

My dad (Bayou Country, Louisiana) used to say on icy days "It's as slick as owl sh*t on a tin roof." A lovely saying.

I've always loved saying that someone is "as dumb as a bag of hammers" or "stupid as a box of hair" (kinda like Molly Ivins would say).

I love good Spanish sayings like "El que se acuesta con niños se levanta cagado" ('He who sleeps with children wakes up sh*t on')-- meaning "Choose your compatriots carefully". Or "Tanto va el cántaro a la fuente que alguna vez se quiebra" ('The pitcher goes to the fountain so much, sometime it's going to break')-- meaning "Don't press your luck". Anyone else?

I was wandering the little shops with a friend in Australia and she suggested we have ". . a sticky beak.." I thought she meant something about a sticky bun, which I had heard before. No... she meant we'd take a quick peek inside a shop!

Apology in advance:

He's so cheap, he wouldn't give you the steam off his piss.

An old standard from childhood days...

"I swear, if you had a brain you'd take it out and play with it"

And then there's the thing I heard on the radio the other day on the ultimate southern out-clause "Bless Her/His Heart"

The idea here was that you could say anything about anyone, as long as you started or ended with "Bless her heart"

"Mmmm, mmm, that boy drinks like a dehydrated fish.... bless his heart"
"She's got a mind like a steel trap. Rusted shut. .... Bless her heart"

Well, bless your heart Clifton, you must have been one of those boys I used to play with :)
I always liked it when someone wanted a kiss and asked for some "sugar" ~

((F))

This one is from New England, and you have to say it sarcastically: "Dawn breaks on Marblehead." It means that someone has finally figured something out--way, way after everyone else did! Sort of like saying you have rocks instead of brains upstairs. (Marblehead is a fishing town outside Boston.)

From a teacher:

Your son is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.

This student has a "full six-pack" but lacks the plastic thing to hold it all together.

I would not allow this student to breed.

Your son sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.

Marblehead is a fishing town outside of Boston????? Darling, a house in Marblehead goes for about $3 million. Some fishing town. :)

"I've got to see a man about a horse"

"Kennywood's open!"

<< Darling, a house in Marblehead goes for about $3 million. Some fishing town!>>

No kidding! As a kid, I was a guest at a friend's Marblehead mansion for a week. They had a solid Italian marble floor on their "ballroom" and a private beach. I remember, as a 13-year-old, asking if there were sharks in the water on their private beach and being told "No, of course, we don't allow them." Marblehead is no more a "fishing village" than is Monaco. It is, of course, ripe for a slew of interesting and colorful phrases.

Sheesh, you guys are a tough audience! Will you settle for "ORIGINALLY a fishing town?"

Ah, dawn breaks on Marblehead.

Travelers from "The Great State of South Carolina" to the UK, should refrain from wearing their t-shirts that proclaim their love of the state dance "The Shag". You know, such things as "Shaggin' On The Strand", etc. Need I say more.

I've never understood this one: a friend described a restaurant as "so empty you could throw a cat through it."

This one is for Elvira: You're as crazy as a loon. :)

How about "it's as hot as Dick's hatband?" I've only heard that one time and in Louisiana.

<perk> Did someone mention, "Dick's?" :)

thingorjus, your use of "donkey's years" is something my British friends say and I LOVE that saying! How about "I couldn't give a monkey's" (I couldn't care less)

Mary Fran:

"Ich verstehe nur Bahnhof" translates into "I understand only 'railway station'" and is used the way your sister says.

"Choose your company carefully": "Wer mit Affen spielt, wird gebissen" (Whoever plays with monkeys will get bitten).

Specific to Basel: "verzell du das em fäärimaa" (tell it to the ferry operator ;-)): I don't believe a word you're saying

this doesn't have anything to do with sayings, but rather customs.
Being American, I'm used to slightly different condiments than those used in other countries. I was in England visiting my then boyfriend and his mother. We had gone to a steak restaurant. The waitress asked each diner what sort of mustard, English or French, did they want on their steaks. When she got to me, I requested worchester sauce. My friend, his mother, AND the waitress all looked at me incredulously and asked "what are you going to put it on?" (apparantly, in Britain, worchester sauce is reserved for soups and stews) They and I all thought "hmmmmm"

Hotter that the hinges of Hell; crazy as a Kraft recipe; and he's a nice boy but he sh*ts too close to the house (lacking in social graces).