Calvin

I will be in Paris and Rome in the next couple of weeks, and I want to make sure I am respectful of the various cultures I will be encountering. I have been embarrassed by my American counterparts more often than I would like during past trips (mainly arrogance and superiority complexes). I don't mind if the locals can finger me as an American, but I want to make sure I portray a more humble and respectful stereotype than what seems to be the norm. Any thoughts on things to avoid, without turning this into another "tacky tourist" thread (I think a respectful American in jeans and sneakers will get farther than a disrespectful American in black slacks and black loafers)?

Rex

The number one annoying feature of Americans abroad that I hear Europeans mention is that we talk too loud.

Debi

One thing I've found in my travels is that when you take the time to learn some of the language - even if it's just "hello", "please and thank you", people are more open. Even if I have to carry a book around and point to a phrase while I attempt to say it, I find people react quite favorably. The other thing I've found is that some tourists seem to be against doing is to "be a tourist". Show the awe you feel when you look at some of the fabulous buildings and grounds you see around you. People are very proud of their environments for the most part - and they tend to be quite happy to share it with someone who obviously wants to learn and appreciate it, too. Too many times I've seen people compare something they see - or get - in Europe to what they're used to - and to quote the previous poster - they do it loudly. I'll be in Rome myself in less than two weeks - can't wait - and I can't wait to learn about a culture that did amazing things a very long time ago.

elaine

I agree with Debi's and Rex's suggestions, particularly the loudness issue, and the "expecting everything to be the same" issue.Calvin, I have apparently seen some of the same embarrassing American tourists that you have. <BR>I have heard American tourists (and other English-speakers, I have to say) <BR>walk into restaurants and complain, quite audibly, about the size of the tables, the prices (especially the prices),not being served butter, the espresso (as opposed to American-style coffee), the cream in the sauce, the sugar in the dessert, etc. I have seen American tourists walk into chic European shops (I'm not talkin' flea markets) and try to aggressively knock down the prices because the Americans heard that "They" like to bargain. Some Americans seem to think that the lunch- time closings of museums or churches or shops in Italy was designed just to inconvenience them. Now for all I know Japanese or German tourists complain about the same things and perhaps I don't realize that because I don't understand those languages, but I suspect it's more frequent with Americans. I'm making broad generalizations here, but too many of us (not all of us!) seem to be assuming that the rest of the world "ought" to do things the same way we do. <BR>So I try to smile, say hello, please, and thank you in the local language, keep my voice down, and overcompensate for the boors. <BR>

Jen

In France, when going to stores of any kind, always say hello to the clerk upon arrival (even if they are in the back of the store) and goodbye and thank-you on the way out. It's kind of expected and most Americans don't do that. Just get your good morning and afternoons straight. (I do this in Italy as well, but the French seem to take more offense than the Italian.) <BR> <BR>Also, try to speak the language first when communicating - don't start a conversation in English. I've seen French and Italians refuse to help obnoxious Americans, and when I approached, trying to speak the language, they usually smile and break into English. Enjoy!

sp

The dining customs are quite different in Europe. One book series that helped me was Sandra Gustafson's "Cheap Eats." Not only does she list inexpensive places to eat, she describes in detail the dining customs of each country, which I found very helpful. My spouse didn't bother to read beforehand and was impatient with the length of the meals in France. If he HAD read about it, he would have known that a meal is an event, you are never rushed, once you secure a table it is yours for the evening, and the check will not be brought until you ask for it. I enjoyed the dining experiences very much but I was glad that I learned about them prior to our trip.

Dick Hardy

All of the above is good advice. I once heard an American complain about the Acropolis - he said they should enclose the whole place and air condition it! Really - I swear! Be pleasant. Learn a bit of the language, and remember that they are proud of their country. We all can learn a lot when we travel - give them a chance to teach us, and remember that our way of living is not always the best there is. Certainly not to them.

elvira

Americans are very casual about manners, like please and thank you; Europeans are NOT. (A local tv newscaster recently brought up the fact that we don't say "you're welcome" anymore; we say "uh huh"....eeeeyyuuu and I'm guilty of that, too). Merci, grazie, s'il vous plait, prego...all will go a loooong way to make you a nicer traveler (and person). <BR> <BR>America is wonderful; it's not more wonderful than many other places so shut up. "That's not how we do it in New York!" is impolite. <BR> <BR>And something that is peculiar to Europe....they don't ask what you do for a living. It's considered impolite, yet Americans use it as an opener as we consider it rather a bland question....

Mia

Don't ever assume everyone speaks English, which I noticed from some fellow American travelers. Even if you think they may, ask first in their language. I always found people much more receptive, and they usually responded with a mixture of both English and their native language.

Lori

I don't know if this fits into the culture thing or not but try and avoid riding the Metro (or any public transportation) during rush hour. If you must (and I know it can't always be avoided) step to the side (against the wall) and wait for the locals to get past. Most are on their way to/from work and are in a hurry. I know tourists on the freeways can drive me nuts at rush hour and I try not to annoy those that must go to work when I travel if I can.

barbara

Don't touch things when you go into a small boutique type store and especially at open air markets. I have found this to be a cultural difference that is not often discussed in guidebooks. In the US we are used to going into a store picking up items, like unfolding a sweater and holding it up. In France and Italy the shop keeper expects to show you things, even if you are just looking. It is considered rude or even taken as a personal affront to handle things or take a sweater off the shelf. It is like you have not allowed the shopkeeper to do his or her job. They really don't mind if you are just looking and I had one gentleman even try a sweater on for me when I was trying to estimate size. Very accomodating. In the open markets in Italy, my friend made the mistake of picking up an apple that she wanted to purchase. The cart vendor went ballistic and started screaming at her. She froze and didn't put the apple back which made him scream louder, in Italian, which we couldn't understand. I keep yelling put the apple down, put the apple down! Which made her freeze more. Of course everyone started staring at us to see what was going on. She finally put it down, everybody calmed down, she bought a couple of apples (which the vendor selected). In retrospect it was all pretty hysterical.But we learned our lesson.

I.B. Stinky

When in France, don't bathe! <BR> <BR>When in Italy, don't queue up, just push to the front of the line.

kam

We really don't need Stinky's advice, but it was probably bound to come. Good advice about touching the merchandise in Italy---always ask the salesperson for assistance. Also, when you enter a store say hello and when you leave, even if you haven't purchased anything say, grazie. Very simple things really, but they are appreciated in Italy.

Al

Anybody looking at me in Europe can see that I am American -- my shoes, my gait, my stance, my clothes...all give me away. So when I am ignored by French sales clerks, I have found a great way to have fun-- because I am bilingual. I speak to them in Spanish (although I have a fair command of practical French). They flip out. Their manner changes completely. They can't do enough to help me. And when I start speaking English, their chagrin is total! Lesson: speak some of the local language if you want doors to open like magic. Even if it is only a few words. Speak softly. Speak with a smile. Amazing results will result.

Linda

Try to learn a few helpful phrases before going overseas. I generally end up getting lost even with the best map (they just don't make them upside down!) so I have learned to say: "Where is...." in about 5 languages. Also, when asking someone a question, I think it's polite to first ask them in their native language if they speak English. They all do, but they appreciate our effort at trying to speak their language. I still remember the Parisian taxi driver 8 years ago that laughed all the way to our hotel because I couldn't pronounce the street it was on. He kept making me repeat it and would roar every time I said it. We had a great ride. Bon voyage!!

lee

<BR>I agree with Barbara. Don't touch anything in the markets. Even if it is the fruit you actually want to buy, point to it, but don't touch it! I got yelled at big time for doing this. <BR>So do let them help you. <BR>

Lily

The #1 thing to do is to learn the words please thank you and of course good morning/afternoon/evening. I must say it is a pleasure to know that I am not the only American that is ashamed of how fellow countrymen/women behave!!! I am shocked by the amount of people who brag about the trip they took, but complain about the basic lifestyle differences.

Rex

I already replied here, but reading the replies about handling food reminds of this: if you encounter cold beverages in a self-service refrigerator case, you might want to ask someone to get out the item you want - - or at least don't stand there with the door open. Europeans are very attuned - - one could even suggest they are obsessed - -with the conservation of energy. <BR> <BR>And along the same lines, don't stand in a doorway of an air-conditioned place and hold the door open.

Joanna

I agree with the good advice given above. I have a question : on US TV shows when people are finishing a phone call they never say "goodbye", they just hang up after saying what they have to say. Is this the way it really is or just a TV thing?

Russ

I've never noticed that before. I'll have to watch more closely. <BR> <BR>No Joanna, that's a TV thing. More typical is... <BR> <BR>"OK, so, I'll talk to you later. <BR> <BR>OK, then, well, take it easy. <BR> <BR>OK, you too. <BR> <BR>Well, see you. <BR> <BR>Ok. <BR> <BR>Bye. <BR> <BR>Bye."