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Tennessee Trio of Terror in Paris: Part III - the return of Heather and her mom!

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Apr 15th, 2005, 05:47 AM
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Tennessee Trio of Terror in Paris: Part III - the return of Heather and her mom!

Sunday March 20: The return of Heather and Raynell: Let the whining begin.

Turns out Heather and her mom got in at 1 in the morning because their train was delayed for 6 hours in Milan. Although they left us in Rome on the previous Wednesday and it is now Sunday, they only spent one day in Pompeii and one in Venice. The rest of the time they were on the train! Here's a recap of their special journey: "Everyone in Italy wants you to pay them if they help you", "We love Pompeii but Venice is just for tourists" (I'm sure that endeared them to the locals) and my personal favorite "we couldn't find anything to eat on the trains". Heather spent most of her time buying underwear in hopes of rekindling a romance with her high school boyfriend that she hadn't seen in 12 years. And I thought I lived in a fantasy world.

We all ate breakfast together Raynell: "You just can't get butter anywhere in Europe" and "I want to spend the day walking down the Shomps" (I swear this is true). Heather wanted to shop and we didn't have the heart to tell them most of the shops were closed on Sunday.

Today was the day the Trip Nazi decided we would see every museum in Paris but a well-placed half-nelson on my part narrowed it down to 3. First we went to Musee Marmatton in the 16th for Monet and the best collection of illuminated manuscripts I've ever seen. Amy and I actually bonded over that one (I told you the Stockholm Syndrome was in full swing by now. If only she would stop trying to make me drink this special Kool-Aid she had prepared). We had to walk through a little park to get there and there was a lovely French family breakfasting in the park on McDonald's!!!! The museum was great and the paintings were wonderful. They even have Monet's palette and eye glasses.

Next stop: Musee Maillot because Saundra wants to see the special Gustave Klimt exhibit. Now recall that I am still doped up on cold meds so I didn't realize that it was an exhibit of his erotic drawings until I got there and saw the signs warning about taking younger children in to the rooms. The last time I saw that many private parts was in the 70's in a consciousness raising group centered around "Our Bodies, Ourselves". You old gals know what I mean think hand mirrors. We had to use the jaws of life to get Saundra out of there.

We stopped at a café along Blvd. St. Germain for a quick lunch where we ended up seeing the only person we know in Paris, Deborah from our cooking class. She tried to pretend she didn't see us but we caused enough of a commotion that she had to stop. She's really a very nice attorney from San Francisco on sabbatical in Paris for 8 months. You can be sure she doesn't work for Legal Aid. When we met her in the class she informed us she had just recently had a full face lift. Gee Deborah, I thought everyone's ears met in the back.

On to our last stop, Musee Carnavalet which is really wonderful and free except for the special exhibit. The garden is absolutely lovely. After this I'm dead so I head back to the hotel for another drug fest and Amy and Saundra enjoy a romantic mother-daughter evening boat trip on the Vedettes de Pont Neuf.
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Apr 15th, 2005, 05:59 AM
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Roaring at the desk at work. Too funny. Too funny.... kool-aid... hahahaha
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Apr 15th, 2005, 06:02 AM
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Hurrah for the next installment! I am only sorry that this trip report will inevitably come to an end I hope you post all your reports on here - what a hoot!
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Apr 15th, 2005, 06:24 AM
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Sharon,

All this fuss over my kind offer of an energy drink. It's good for you, I promise. Come on, just one sip before we go to Atlanta tomorrow...and don't forget to bring your comfy shoes.

Amy

PS.. thanks to fellow fodorites about the heads up on the internet coupon for vedettes de pont neuf. Mom and I loved the ride and got to see the eiffel sparkle. She especially loved how the cold temps on the water numbed her throbbing feet.
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Apr 15th, 2005, 06:35 AM
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Can you just imagine this group and Elvira's Loonies on a trip together!!!!

If I laugh any harder , I'm going to have to go buy some depends!

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Apr 15th, 2005, 06:42 AM
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Oh, what a delightful way to start my morning by reading Part III. Simply outrageous!

Went to Wal-Mart yesterday looking for Le Clip. Darn, none with sequins. Made a trip to Michael's for faux sequins, glued them on with a glue gun - voila!! I have my very own Le Clip!!

And Raynell, I like butter too!!
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Apr 15th, 2005, 07:18 AM
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Sharon, did you , by any chance, get to see the HGTV househunters in Paris this past Monday?
Imagine, you and Amy and friends could have your own place in Paris!
(I think this because then we (Fodorville) could get a weekly report of The Tennessee Trio Living in Paris!
Thanks for starting my morning with beeeg laughs!
I wonder if Deborah the attorney reads Fodors
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Apr 15th, 2005, 07:22 AM
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Kopp: I'm so glad you also have Le Clip. It is adorning my locks this very minute.

Scarlett: Oh dear, I never thought of that!! Is my face rouge? Luckily, I'll never see her again but she really was sweet - back pedal, back pedal....

I'm hoping to finish this report today so I can go on another adventure with the La Diable to Atlanta.
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Apr 15th, 2005, 07:23 AM
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Scarlett: We actually looked at apartments for rent in the real estate agents' windows. My favorite was 5 rooms on the 5th floor with no elevator for 1.2 million euros!
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Apr 15th, 2005, 07:37 AM
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I am choking with laughter at my desk reading all your trip reports. I wish you had a blog so I could check in every day. Your sense of humor is wonderful!
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Apr 15th, 2005, 11:42 AM
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OOOPS! I posted the grand finale on Part II so those of you who want to see how it all ends will have to go there.
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Apr 15th, 2005, 11:58 AM
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Thanks for your hysterical report.

You should consider ehughes' suggestion of a blog...you've already established quite a fan club. I especially enjoyed the "fair and balanced" reporting once Amy joined. Hope you both have a great time in Atlanta.
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Apr 15th, 2005, 12:00 PM
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Unfortunately, I'm really a computer idiot so wouldn't know how to do a blog. Just wanted to pay back all those great people who've posted wonderful trip reports. I've learned so much from this website that this is just my little thank you.
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Apr 15th, 2005, 12:38 PM
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Topping for Suki
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Apr 15th, 2005, 12:39 PM
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I don't see the photos?
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Apr 15th, 2005, 01:28 PM
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Last Day in Paris: or how I avoided the end times.

On our last full day in Paris, we decided just to drift around the way we had in Rome. However, we had forgotten that Heather and Mom were with us so we had breakfast with them but then I made up a story about how we were going to go to lots of museums and they decided they didn't want to join us. Perhaps they wanted to "stomp around the Shomps" once more.

So Saundra, Amy and I merrily wandered around the Left Bank where I had a near death experience in the bathroom of Monoprix. Have any of you ever been in it? It is all stainless steel and "self-cleaning". This poor little Japanese girl went first and needed some encouragement to enter (read: a little push and threats because I had to go baaaad). It costs a euro I think and after she was in there for awhile there were all these loud squeaks and squeals that didn't appear to be coming from a human being. She came out looking bewildered but okay. There is a big sign about waiting to go in until the place is cleaned etc. I entered with some trepidation but with lots of necessity if you know what I mean. The place is entirely stainless steel and there is not, I repeat not, a piece of paper in sight. Luckily, Saundra had given me some traveler's toilet paper. After I was finished I looked around for some sign of a flush or handle and I swear I couldn't find anything! I "high-tailed it" (literally) out of there and closed the door. Have no idea how the thing works but I didn't wait around to investigate further. I was afraid I would end up in Dr. Evil's lair.

We ate lunch on Ille St. Louis at Au Lys d'Argent and it was wonderful. Saundra had a salade nicoise that was a freaking work of art. Amy had a crepe sarrasin that included potato, crème fresh and cheese and I had veggie soup. We also had one bottle of Perrier and one coffee followed by one chocolate cake for Amy (we hoped it would sweeten her disposition but my getting out of that bathroom alive was our one miracle for the day) and I had the "medicinal" crepe suggested by the waiter fresh lemon and honey. Oh yes, I was honking and coughing there too. Nice bathroom too and this one didn't try to kill me. Isn't it amazing how important those little details are?

We shlepped around the rest of the day and then went back to the hotel to pack and get ready for our last dinner in Paris. Luckily I had brought an extra soft-sided suitcase with me which now contained all my dirty underwear in lovely little space bags. All of the purchases were in my carry-on and the rest I didn't care if I ever saw again.

Our cooking class lady suggested a restaurant to us for our final dinner. By this time, I never wanted to see Heather and her mother again (Raynellquot;gee we had steak and fries last night for dinner but they weren't like American fries". Sharon: "Gee Raynell, that's good because YOU ARE IN FRANCE!") So do you think I was going to spend my last night in Paris with that woman? So I lied (Im sure there is a special circle in hell just for me after this trip) and told her that the teacher had made special arrangements for just the three of us to go and they went their own way. You may not want to stand close to me when that lightning strikes.

One thing in my defense. Poor Raynell showed up with ankles the size of bowling balls because of all the time sitting on the train so I took her to my friend at the Pharmacy and she helped her out with an herbal remedy. Her daughter showed no concern so maybe my stay in hell will be cut short a bit.

We went to Chez Lena and Mimile at 32, Rue Tournefort. It was lovely. They only offer le formule. It is 35 euros per person and includes the following: an aperitif (we all had Kir Royales), an amuse buche (is that right? You know what I mean) which was Bugs Bunny on toast (I know, I know just call me Raynell) and choice of entrée, plats and dessert. I had a goat cheese terrine followed by filet of beef with this incredible herb butter sauce, and chocolate mousse which was in slices in a crème anglaise. Saundra had rocket salad with ham and parmesan cheese followed by lamb with wild rice and crème brulee (she had been having it all through Europe but said this was like having it for the first time), Amy also had the salad and chocolate mousse but had chicken in lemon sauce with "mac and cheese" gratin. This also included a bottle of wine, coffee and tip. Pretty good huh? We walked home in a fog. The dinner started at 7:30 and we left completely full at 10. By the way, for all you Gigi and 3 Coins in a Fountain fans, Louis Jourdan's niece is one of the owners.

The next day we had our last carbo-loading breakfast and took the shuttle to the airport. The three of us bought a baguette, cheese, ham and other snacks to have on the plane thanks to a Fodorite suggestion. No big problems coming back except that 3 international planes landed at Detroit at the same time so customs was kind of bad. They handled it by just waving most of us through (gee, now I feel really secure and was sorry I hadn't put those insects in my bag. Have you noticed that on the customs form when you list food it also includes insects in the same space?) Guess what? Raynell and Heather had to go to the agriculture place and open their bags! Bad karma I guess.

On the way from Detroit to Nashville, Amy's suitcase was opened and inspected (there was a notice in it) and my TSA lock was cut off of my dirty underwear suitcase but it doesn't appear to have been inspected, there was no paper in it. Do you think the fumes acted as a deterrent? I better tell Tom Ridge about that.

So ends the saga of the Tennessee Trio of Terror in Europe. We are all friends (with two noticeable exceptions) and planning more sojourns with Amy in the future. Yes Mein Fuhrer!



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Apr 15th, 2005, 01:31 PM
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I posted the final installment by accident on Part II so I'm doing this again on Part III by request not ego!!!

And Amy is working on the link to photos.
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Apr 15th, 2005, 01:33 PM
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here is the link to the g-rated photos....

http://photos.yahoo.com/akm_tn

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Apr 15th, 2005, 01:49 PM
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Too damn funny.

I think I'll be referring to the "Shomps" from now on.

Did they go to The Shops on The Shomps?
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Apr 15th, 2005, 01:50 PM
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I'll add to the tearful kudos on your trip report Sharon (just regret that I didn't have more tissues for the tears of laughter, and that the entire office hadn't figured out that I'm not exactly working in here...)
We'll be in Paris in July, and I have added Lena and Mimile to my list of "musts" - after all, given the recommendation that got you there! As I added that paragraph to my notes, however, I suddenly got a vision: the restaurant is going to become busier than in the past, all with americans who walk in, attempt to say "I read about you on Fodors", followed by heavy laughter and inability to speak... I really think that someone should forward this to the proprietors' so they're prepared, and we don't further deteriorate the franco-american relations!
Please, Sharon - tell us any more day to day stories you might have!
Jo Ann
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