kleeblatt

"I believe she must commit to a "no alcohol" policy while there as part of the exchange program. She's fine with that. Pretty much a non-issue for her."

- American ideology doesn't work in Europe. It doesn't work in the US either.

The legal drinking age is 16 in Switzerland (don't know about Germany) so it's ridiculous to expect someone not to drink alcohol.

Agree with Quokka's post completely.

quokka

Drinking age is 16 for beer, wine, cider - 18 for harder stuff.

If she herself decides she does not want to drink any alcohol, that's her choice and fine. But no one can forbid an 18 year old to drink if she wants to over here. "Drink" does not necessarily mean "getting p***ed", it may simply mean a beer or wine with dinner.

mwessel

Yes, lots to think about here. I would be more comfortable if she had a cell phone to use to communicate with her exchange partner and host family, but you're right, for calling home once a week, the calling card and landline make more sense. If it were up to her, I'm sure she wouldn't call home at all, so I'm not worried about her slighting herself on the true immersion experience.

Good info about the schools, and you're right, she will be going to a gymnasium.I didn't know what that meant exactly, so thank you for the clarification.

I think the whole issue of "no alcohol" will likely be discussed with the host family ahead of time. I would also hope that they would realize that while it may be commonplace in Germany for someone my daughter's age to drink, it is not something SHE is used to. I find it strange to think they may find it ridiculous that she WOULDN'T drink alcohol. Surely there are Germans who choose not to drink for one reason or another (like the ones you suggested) or simply because they don't want to! I trust my daughter to make good decisions in this regard. She has not given me any reason not to thus far.

Yes the whole cleanliness thing led to an interesting discussion in our home. My daughters think our home is very clean (at least compared to their friend's homes) but the question was raised about different culture's interpretation about what is clean. Our house will be fine and its doubtful our exchange student will request to be moved to another home.

Excellent suggestions to adapt to military time and the metric system.

Thanks everyone for so many excellent thoughts.

skatedancer

mwessel, what program is she going on? We are looking into overseas programs for my DS, who also loves languages and will be entering his senior HS year.

mwessel

It is through a program called The Friendship Connection, Inc. Her German teacher went to Germany through this same program when he was in high school and spoke highly of it.

www.friendshipconnection.org

bdjtbenson

The only things I would add to the above good information:

Bring pictures of her family and hometown. As long as it's not too much, people you meet will be interested in where you're from, your home town, your family.

Bring a good pocket size digital camera and take a lot of pictures of friends, places you visit, etc. When you come home people will be interested in what you saw and did.

I agree on bringing some gift for the host. It would be rude not to.

I agree on attempting to use her German at all times. The sooner you start, the more you will get out of the trip.

I also agree on the cell phone. Plan to get one locally rather than bring one from home. A month of calls will be too much if you bring a phone from here.

For calls home a PIN card at a pay phone is cheap. I've also had good deals using an internet cafe for long distance calls. They will probably have a computer and internet service so regular emails home is a good way to stay in touch.

I also agree with keeping her communication. We have a storage box for each of our children with photos, school assignments, awards and letters that we hope they will appreciate some day.

capxxx

My DS went twice to Germany while in high school, with two different organizations. In both cases, he was asked to sign a ``no alcohol'' statement for liability purposes, and in both cases the organizers made it pretty clear that they had a ``don't ask don't tell'' policy. I think you are right to trust her judgement.

Is she flying alone or with a group? If alone, you might want to review the basics of air travel contingencies with her -- what to do when the connection is missed, the luggage doesn't appear, the flight is cancelled, or delayed. Who to notify, if notification is necessary, that kind of stuff.

What to expect when travelling to Europe: after exiting the plane, she will pass through immigration, where they will look at her passport and ask her what her purpose is in travelling. There may be separate immigration lines for passengers from EU (and/or Schengen) countries and others, so get in the right line.

After immigration, she waits to pick up her checked luggage, and then goes through Customs. There is usually a ``Nothing to declare'' line, which she should use if she isn't importing anything. (Presumably she isn't.) Usually you walk through customs without speaking to anyone, but they do pull people aside for random checks occasionally.

If she changes planes in Europe, depending on the airport and airline, she may go through Immigration and Customs and then go to the ``domestic'' flights terminal. Or there may be a ``Transit'' path to her next flight, and she does the I&C thing at her final destination instead of the first one. In a few places you have to pick up your checked luggage, pass customs, and then check it in again, but most likely it will be checked through.

On the return to the US, same procedure. On the flight home, she will be asked to fill out a customs card and to have it ready when she goes through customs.

Hans

Mwessel: There are of course Germans who don’t drink or drink only very moderately. And I wouldn’t recommend inventing any excuses if she doesn’t like to drink alcohol but she should just say so. I’m sure that her host family won’t have a problem with that. It’s just that there is no social stigma attached to an 18-year old drinking alcohol in Germany and more do it than stay abstinent.

By the way, if in doubt, saying something straight is normally the best way to go in Germany. Trying to give polite hints can end in misunderstandings since people rather expect you to say what you want.

One additional point: if your daughter has already a driving license, it might be easier to carry that than a copy of the passport. An ID in Germany means normally an official document with a photo for identification and the driving license is widely accepted as that while a credit card isn’t. And don’t worry too much if you read that identification needs to be carried all time. It’s a misdemeanour like crossing a red light as a pedestrian.

Cowboy1968

Ditto on alcohol.
There is nothing wrong with NOT drinking alcohol. It's neither regarded as childish nor impolite or a matter to invent medical conditions.
She will have the option to drink, not the obligation!
I still have to see that household or formal reception where guests would not also be offered OJ or water or Coke besides champagne or wine or beer.

quokka

She will encounter a much more relaxed approach towards alcoholic beverages than what she is used to. So she has to make her own decision each time, which will. She might, however, find herself among stupid youngsters who press her to drink, then it is good to have excuses at hand.

mwessel

I'm thankful she'll be traveling with a group. That whole description of customs and immigration is pretty much making my head spin!

So if she is bringing back souvenirs from Germany, does that count as importing things? Will she need to declare those things?Are there certain kinds of things she would not be permitted to bring home? Food?

What about things she is bringing from the US for her host family? Will she need to show the people at customs?

Mainhattengirl

Going through customs in Germany is a piece of cake. You show your passport, go pick up your luggage and walk out the doors to your waiting friends or family. Have never been asked any questions, ever. Food gifts are usually fine, but you can look online at the German embassy website to be certain of what is not allowed. I bring food back from the states all the time. It is bringing food into the US that is difficult. One can also check the US embassy or consulate website for correct info on what is allowed. I doubt that your daughter is going to buy so many souvenirs that she will have to declare them on returning to the US.

As a hostess gift though, try and find something that is typical of your region,(I don't know where you are from) so perhaps Southwest baskets, calendar of your hometown, coffee table book of your city, anything like that.

capxxx

You can visit the US customs website for the rules -- she's fine if she doesn't go over the limits.

US customs: if she brings back less than $800 worth of souveniers, and no more than 1 litre of booze (and 100 cigarettes), then she doesn't have to declare it. Over the limit, and she does have to declare it and pay a tax (something like 3 percent of value).

Many types of food items are not allowed into the US -- including sandwiches, a salami, an apple, home-made cookies. The cute little customs beagles will sniff them out of her bags, and Customs will take them, but she won't be fined or anything. Commercially packaged and sealed foods like cheese, baked goods, candy, and teas, are generally OK.

I don't know what the German customs limits are, but gifts are fine. They don't want her to bring stuff intending to sell it, thats all.

capxxx

European countries, including Germany, do not have the restrictions on food that the US does. Sending food gifts is ok, bringing them back is a little more difficult.

logos999

>German customs limits are
Merchandise that will remain in the EU up to 430€ in value.

enzian

I haven't read through everything, but has anyone pointed out how easy and inexpensive it would be for her to buy a "Handy" (German cell phone) pre-loaded with minutes when she gets there?

This is what my sons did when they were students in Germany. It was about $40 for one then; now with the dollar down it would be a bit more.

And they did use the Handy to call me---it was cheaper than a pay phone + phone card. But I don't know how it compares to the cost of using a private line to call the US---that wasn't an option for them.

logos999

>compares to the cost of using a private line to call the US
"Handy" = 9ct/min
"private line" = 1.5ct/min (01083) to 2ct/min (01026) to 2.9ct (T-com)

Pegontheroad

I think your daughter will really enjoy Germany. It's my favorite country. Beautiful, historic, clean, safe, friendly.

LoveItaly

Hello mwesssel, what a wonderful opportunity for your daughter!

And it is good that the German student will be with you for a month. This will give your daughter an opportunity to see if there is anything the German girl does in your home that she should not do in her host German family's home. I have hosted many exchange students in the past (all Italians) and 95% of them were fantastic. But a few..well lets say putting on finger nail polish while being on the bed and getting polish on the duvet cover and doing it again two weeks later did not make me happy. Spending "forever" in the shower even though we had a water shortage didn't thrill us either. Leaving a mess in the bathroon and leaveing on lights in their bedroom constantly when they were not in their bedroom inspite of discussions was not appreciated, lol. Things such as that. But again it was just a couple of "spoiled brats", the great majority of the Italian students were a complete joy and have come back many times to visit and are always more than welcome. They are now all adults.

Your daughter sounds like a joy and I imagine her host family will relish having her stay with them and how nice she will already be well acquainted with their daughter.

hsv

First thought that occurred to me was that it would be a great opportunity for an American student to get properly hammered - without any age restrions they'd be exposed to at home.

I was hesitant to post this view as I know it will likely be controversial and in the meantime I do appreciate your daughter's certainly somewhat admirably courageous attitude of not being keen on drinking.

Others have stated already that it's positively alright not to drink in Germany when going out and I cannot make them wrong. It's what's called for and of course everybody can come away with not drinking - somehow.

Still, to be quite honest, if your daughter would hang out with guys like me (or girls I know), not drinking at all would most certainly be considered quite a let-down. It is, let's face it, just a bit uncool and always conveys, willingly or probably rather not, an admittably very subjective sense of superiority or holier-than-thou attitude that makes drinking for the rest of the crowd just a tad less enjoyable.
To be honest, personally I do hate going out with people who don't imbibe at all during the course of what's supposed to be a fun night out. The only valid excuse in my book would indeed be being the designated driver (and if one is the designated driver on every night out, that's obviously just as annoying as taking the never drink policy in the first place).

And - while we're at it - I would even encourage your daughter to make use of the opportunity of being allowed to drink.

In my opinion getting (slightly or more) drunk in style is a pre-requisite of a proper upbringing and being able to manage alcohol without getting drunk is actually an essential qualification for life and business. However, experiences of such kind are best made at an age where one can get away with practically everything anyway (blame it on youth is always acceptable) - and recovery time from a hangover is considerably less at a younger age anyway.

So for what it's worth, enjoy Germany and Marburg and the liberty such a trip brings (without making the last portion dependent on Germany in particular, in fact, rather the opposite would apply in my book), would be my suggestion.