| Dr_AL |
Apr 17th, 2003 07:34 AM |
Strive:<BR><BR>Once again I have been away from �the boards� far too long and only hope I have returned in time to be of some assistance. After re-reading your post--and the subsequent responses--I am under the distinct impression you have exhausted (if you'll forgive the pun) traditional cures for your particular "malaise" and are instead interested in more "fringe" approaches, no? Furthermore, based on the last paragraph in your original posting, I also believe you were hoping we might have a little fun with this, no? Yes.<BR><BR>Assuming I am correct in my supposition, I retreated into the dustiest, dankest and darkest recesses of my medical library in search of a tome which might possibly be of some assistance in this matter: I believe I have found it.<BR><BR>The book itself is entitled, �Old World Cures For a New World.� Now, since most of these �cures� were written for a world which predated both flight and the advent of the automobile, I have had to settle for a chapter titled, �Nostrums for Peregrinating by Oxcart� to find potential therapies. <BR><BR>Without further ado, the following are what, �Old World Cures For a New World� suggests that a �person peregrinating for multitudinous daytides� does to �make the journey across foreign lands pass is if it were a trip to the cloaca.�<BR><BR>1. �When applied to the naked self, a generous rubbing of goose grease underneath one�s garb, aids in keeping foul elements at bay.�<BR>2. �So heavy a meal as to cause the constitution discomfiture during arduous sojourns can distend the bowels and reek havoc with the constitution.�<BR>3. �The quaffing of abundant amounts of mead and ale, while good for the humours, do not allow the body to travel well.�<BR>4. �If wafaring for a fortnight without benefit of hostelry, taking repose in prone position �en carte� performs miracles for the spirit.�<BR><BR>Actually, Strive, with the exception of the �goose grease� many of these sound similar to the suggestions made by fellow Fodorites.<BR><BR>Hope this helps,<BR><BR>Dr AL <BR>
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