We have not been to Italy yet - June is coming though - but as my DW just mentioned to me "didn't we eat at an Italian restaurant that served 'family-style'?" Yes we did, it was north of Seattle and it was supposed to be like some eating establishments in Southern Italy. I have to imagine that it can be done in Northern Italy. :-"

My DW is very smart.

What does 'family style' mean ?

Is "d--k" meaning "dark"?

My husband and I eat what we like to call "FDA portion sizes". Italian dining suits us very well. The portions are not so huge simply because you are presumed to be eating many courses. We always get an assortment of food and just swap plates when we wish. Often we will get each an appetizer or pasta and share those (or not), and then we will get a plate of meat or seafood, and a plate of vegetables, which we also swap. Then I sometimes get a dessert.

We have never been treated any way but courteously at any restaurant, ever. If the waiter seems mystified by the small order or waiting for the "rest" of it, I just say "non posso mangiare molto", shrug, and smile.

Thanks for the great advice and tips.
May can't come soon enough...can't wait to get there!

Family-style: It is like at home, where things are served in a bowl or on a plate, and put in the center of the table, for all at the table to serve themselves from.

It seems to be an American thing.
I was in an Italian restaurant with Mrs. O where we and a few Germans were the only non-local customers. Everyone was having the usual two course lunch with wine.
A couple entered who were obviously not Italian.
I thought that they were German, but Mrs. O thought that they were American.
They ordered a pizza between the two of them plus a bottle of water and ate their meal and departed in about a quarter of an hour.
Mrs. O proved to be quite correct.
I'm not a great trencherman and Mrs. O is put off by big portions. We can manage two Italian courses quite happily and sometimes manage three.
This may be because there is very often quite a longish time between courses when you can sip wine, watch the passing scene and let the previous course "go down".

Thanks, viaggio. (Or should that be viaggia ? :-) )

oldie - I used to eat at a Chinese restaurant in Phoenix that served food that way. The tables were round, and had a rotating center, where the food sat, that we served ourselves from. I watched a movie from China, this last weekend, in which food was served in the same manner. I can't tell you which province does this though. Where I grew up in northern Minnesota, we had one and it was called a "Lazy Susan". I don't know why it was called that.

Caroline, no, it's the "O". The name represents what I feel, what I believe is truly important in life, what I dream of every day and what I have tried to accomplish wherever I am.

When we were on the Amalfi coast this past September, we would order a bottle of wine, a plate of proscutto and melon and then share a pizza. The waiters would always look at us kind of funny, but it was plenty to eat for the two of us. We watched a whole family each have their own individual pizza and then they each had a second course of pasta. I don't know how they can eat so much!

"struth", my DW and I eat much less than we did when the kids were at home. These food threads give us hope, as we don't like to waste food and we do not want to overdo it while on our trip.

Hi, viaggio. Yes, I realised what it meant. It was just my little joke about using the 2nd person formal, but I probably got it wrong anyway.

I've never had a problem with this in 15 years in Italy. Italians are probably doing it more nowadays because restaurants are so !@$@#$ expensive that many people can no longer afford 2 or 3 courses per person.

best regards,
Deirdré Straughan

beginningwithi.com (personal)
www.tvblob.com (work)

we just came back from Sicily and Rome and freuqently split courses. No problem and no looks. Order what you want and enjoy

In La Spezia a few years back we decided to share two different pasta dishes....when the bill came there was an extra charge that came to almost $10 which we were not sure what it was for. When we asked we were told that it was a plating charge...the way the waiter put it was he did us a favor to split the food so we could share equally. It was an expensive restaurant and I'm sure they wanted to save the embarrassment of having us pass food back and forth. A few days later in another town, I saw how the pros do it. One person ordered one appetizer and the other person ordered something different...they ate half the dish and simply swapped. Since it is my husband that I would be sharing the dish with...this would work perfectly and now this is how we do it without the fuss or embarrassment. It is not about the economy some times...it is about trying as many different food dishes as possible without feeling too full.

We were all over Italy just a week and a half ago...With three teens and two parents to feed we often would just get an antipasto to share and then 2/3 pastas and maybe one meat or salad with wine all around of course. And then the dolce...as many as possible if we still had room! Everyone seemed fine with it everywhere we went, including the waiters.

My wife, 13 year old daughter & I just returned from a 2 week stay in Milan, Venice, Florence & Rome. We ordered everything from caffe latte only to all courses+ and shared with one another. Italian waiters expect the unexpected. Tourist from all over the world & most of all Americans have been vacationing there for centuries. We found, that whatever we requested, respectfully, was granted w/out compuction. Even if no expression is obvious, no disdain is displayed.
Boun Appetite

I think it mainly comes down to how you feel about it. I would be embarrassed; obviously some others aren't.

viaggio, if I've understood you correctly, a meal in which all the dishes are attacked by everyone at the table is the norm throughout China and by and large in Asia generally. These days most Chinese restaurants here in Australia will assume that you intend to eat Chinese-style, and also use chopsticks, unless you request otherwise.

I've been told that the one-dish meals like chop suey and chow mein found in western countries (although less frequently these days) were developed because of diners' habit each ordering their own exclusive dishes, western-style.

It's an excellent way to eat as you get great variety, particularly as part of a large party - and chopsticks have the advantage that you tend to eat in small bites and can savour the texture and flavour of each morsel.

Back to Italy - I can't see why waiters would have a problem with diners sharing dishes. As I understand it, tips are a only a small part of their remuneration, unlike the US, so to my admittedly ignorant eye the amount you're spending shouldn't be a serious issue - or am I missing something? (BTW, I don't know what those asterisks stand for either.)