Siena with my parents
 

This year is my parent’s 50th wedding anniversary. Knowing that their finances aren’t great, I offered to pay for any trip they wished to make. My dad immediately said “Siena”.

I think that Siena is probably my favourite city anywhere, and my enthusiasm had obviously been a contributing factor in my father’s thoughts, but it was never going to be straightforward.

Three years ago, my mother fell badly, necessitating a hip replacement operation. The operation did not go well and mum is unable to walk any distance without a support frame, neither is she able to cope very well with uneven ground or stairs. My father also has difficulty walking any great distance without real pain to his feet. On the face of it, a medieval hill town is a most unsuitable destination, but there was no dissuading my parents, so we needed to make the most of it.

We rented an apartment at Le Meridiane. I had Emailed asking them if there was somewheret suitable for a person with mobility issues, and they had been quick and informative in replying. The apartment we chose had two large bedrooms, and two bathrooms – one set up for disabled people. I really liked Le Meridiane – My beloved and I would normally rent a city apartment while travelling, but these were fine. Through use of a short cut, we could make the city centre in just over 25 minutes walk if we had time to ourselves. Other transport arrangements were not so easy.

We had a hire car, and this meant that trips into the centre of town entailed dropping off my parents as close as possible to the walls, while avoiding the dreaded ZTL (No go areas for non residents), finding parking and then walking back to find M&D. This sometimes proved difficult, particularly on the Wednesday (Market day).

As a result of spending almost two months studying in Siena, I know the city quite well. I tried to break up daytrips into short chunks – One day from the Fortezza down to the Piazza del Campo, the next a trip to see the Duomo, later a walk around the Aquila, Pantera Chiocciola and Tartuca Contrade (These being four of the 17 city regions that contest the famous Palio horse race.) In the contrade I tried to point out the various things unique to each region: The flags, the individual street markers , the Contrada Church, stables and fountain.

We made several day trips: Monteriggione - more large castle than small town. The very small armour museum is great, only 4 rooms or so, but you can try on the helmets, chain mail etc, and wave swords and shields around in childish ways!

San Gimignano. A tourist trap, but well worth seeing anyway, two superb gelaterias just off the main square – only fair to try both.

Montalcino and San Antimo. We stopped off, and spent several hours exploring Montalcino, then moved on to the abbey. My mum plays the organ in a church and loves anything with religious music, so really enjoyed the sung mass.

While waiting for the 2:45 service to begin, we went into a bar/restaurant. I do not know the name, but it is on the SP55 on the outskirts of Castlenuovo where the road turns off to the Abbey itself. No English was spoken, and I could not see a menu, but asked if it would be possible to have a plate of cold meats and cheese. We received two huge plates of assorted salamis, ham, cheese, bread and simple bread toasted in olive oil. It was stunningly good – the best we sampled on the whole trip.

We drove back via Pienza and Montepulciano, but as my parents were now very tired, drove past both without stopping.

Assisi: I’d never been here before, but it was stunningly beautiful – I really want to return at some time to explore more. We stood at the back of Santa Chiara listening to part of the mass. It was in Italian, but my mum seemed to follow most of it, and very much enjoyed the singing. We then took a long, slow walk down to the Basilica of St Francis.

Overall, it was a tricky trip. The expectations and desire to see more of the places we visited were offset by the physical impossibilities. I am as guilty as anyone of underestimating the difficulties that elderly, infirm people have in doing things that I take for granted. At the end of a couple of hours out and about I could see my dear father almost in tears from the pain, but trying to carry on regardless. Overall, I think both really enjoyed the holiday, possibly because they focused on what they had been able to see and do, rather than what they missed.

willit - what a terrific present. it can't have been easy to organise and see this through and you deserve every word of thanks that you parents surely gave you.

annhig - parts of it were difficult, and stressful for both me and my beloved - but ultimately very rewarding. My real problem is, living 6000 miles from them, I don't see any gradual deterioration - just a sudden realisation every 2-3 years how much older and more frail they have become.

Watching my mum's face on seeing the inside of Siena cathedral, and then finding the illuminated manuscripts of music in the Piccolomini library were worth any hassle. I know my dad will have forgotten his sore feet by the time he is showing all his photographs around in his club. I think both of them ate there weight in Gelato over the week :-)

I am glad I was in a position to be able to take my parents out for their "big event".

You are a wonderful son for wonderful parents.

That is why I travel as much and as often as I can (afford) with my sweet mother! What wonderful memories for you all. Great report - we did a very similar trip a few years ago.

You are a good son! Sounds like a tough, but rewarding trip. And I'm sure it will give you some comfort knowing you did it, well after your parents have departed this world. :)

You can't imagine the joy that we elders experience when we are allowed the blessed priviledge of travelling with our "kids"!!! Out bodies may protest, hurt and be agonizingly slow but you make our hearts young and gay again. We suddenly and rightly become overjoyed at these experiences. Kept 'em coming as long as we are able to draw breathe and your ATM holds out!! Thanks to you all "for the memories"!!!

A report lovely report Willit, and a touching reply from amer_can.

Wonderful to read your report. What great memories you will all have! I'm impressed that you were able to make their dreams come true. I'm sure they loved sharing the experience that you had previously had in Siena. I took my mom to Australia 2 years ago; it wasn't easy with her mobility and health issues, which made for a very limited travel experience. But her happiness there will stay with me always.

You really are an inspiration to anyone reading about your vacation experience..

I am sure it was not at all easy for you, your determination and desire to please your elderly parents makes you a very unique person.

As willowjane said.
"That is why I travel as much and as often as I can (afford) with my sweet mother! What wonderful memories for you all..."

I have been doing the same with my mom since my dad passed away in 2007, we've had some wonderful travel adventures in Spain, France, Italy and across the USA in the last 5 years and I'm going to continue for as long as mom wants to (and can).

On our first trip together in a long time, back in 2007, I quickly realized she could not keep up with my go/do style and I adjusted to slow down my pace and I now enjoy savoring one, or maybe two destinations as opposed to rushing to get to the next stop.

Bravo to you for creating such a memorable experience for you and your parents.

Bravo, willit!

Thanks for this report, and for all of the lovely replies. I'll remember this one for awhile.

When I can no longer dash around, I hope my sons are as kind and thoughtful as you are, willit

Rereading what I wrote, my report almost comes across as a long struggle through Italy with a pair of ancient invalids, and this really wasn't the case.

My parents (73 and 69) are still very bright, interested, keen travellers - they just have difficulty getting around, and I don't think either have come to terms with not being as nimble as they used to be.

We did have a great deal of fun, the trip just took more planning that our usual visits.

We saw some sights, ate some good meals, sampled the local wine and generally enjoyed ourselves. I thought at one stage they were trying to break the record for the consumption of the highest number of gelati in a week (Both parents agreed that the best were at San Gimignano).

I didn't read this as a struggle, although I'm sure some times were. I read it as a very thoughtful son's incredible gift to his parents. It sounds as if you all focused on what you could accomplish and you accomplished a great deal. Thanks for writing this.

Struggle or not, your parents must be so proud that they have such a caring affectionate son, although I am sure that they played a major part during your upbringing regarding the formation of your beautiful character.

I, also, did not read this as a struggle and I kniow that I, at 80yrs young, am not a burden on my wonderful kids as we have travelled on many a road on several continents. I always felt welcome, enjoyed every minute and apart from being cautioned to sit on my hands on the autostratas,vias and pliages so I wouldn't grab the Hail Mary bar there were never any little touchy moments. Love 'em all and will be "on the road again" asap!!!

Congratulation on pulling this off. Having done a similar thing for my parents after their 50th anniversary, I can sympathize with the burden of dealing with limitations at that age. I thing pulling this type of event turns out to be tough beyond the financial part that people often think as the only major obstacle. Both the parents and the children and the in-laws both need to into traveling - something you cannot take for granted. Additionally, all still need to possess reasonable mobility. And finally, not wanting to eat anything different from what they eat at home complicates matters.

Poor Greg..Your comments make me think you did not experience the joy that you were able to still "deal" with your elders. So many are not able to do so any more. Limitations can bring another aspect to experiences, slower with more time to smell the roses and obstacles are there to be hurdled or ar least crawled over.