Sharing in Restaraunts
 

I recently had the gastric sleeve and I cannot eat more than four ounces of food in a sitting. I often share a plate with my husband so that I am not wasting food. I am traveling to Italy (Florence and Bologna) and I was curious about local response to the sharing of food in a Restaraunts? Or, is there a recommendation on how to order petite meals without offending the business?

One restaurant in Italy actually kicked us out because we wanted to share food. We were hoping to order multiple dishes so that we can all try a variety of Italian dishes, but the restaurant expected that each of us order one item from the menu. The guy literally screamed and said GET OUT OF HERE. It was absurd.

When we went to another Italian restaurant, they did the same thing except they did not scream but just got angry and asked us to leave.

Then we went to two more (both of which were very nice) that allowed us to share and understood why we wanted to share.
I guess it really depends on the restaurant and the individuals in the restaurant. Our group did notice that the restaurants with younger individuals running it (20s and 30s) were simply much nicer than the slightly older Italian gents (50s and 60s).

By the way, all of this occurred in Venice, Italy.

Basically normal restaurants are ok, and restaurants living off tourists will not be happy.
So if you get kicked out, it is a blessing.

Whathello....I agree with you..it was a blessing to get kicked out because if we did not we wouldn't have searched for the amazing restaurants that were inside alleyways and seemed even more of an authentic experience.

I was with my two daughters in St. Emillon in France at a multi star hotel with a lot of restaurant stars as well. The French waiters were quite shocked when we ordered separate dishes but were sharing our food from our plates with each other. They came running over and wanted to know what was wrong.

The couple of times DH and I have traveled to Italy we found the Italians and Italian restaurant owners very friendly and accommodating to us. I think if you frankly explain the situation they will be more understanding.

Ask one of the people here if they can translate the phrase, "Can we please share?"

I have found the Italians to be most gracious if you attempt to speak their language. You need not go into an explanation.

I share my plate with my wife all the time, but in a way appropriate for the environment. At casual places, we divvy up portions big time like home cooking. At more formal places, we do it discretely without bothering the waiter. Sometimes my wife eats as much as she cares and we swap plates. The plate they served to my wife ended up empty in front of me, but the Italian waiters never gave us a hard time. When we ordered one big dessert, they often brought two spoons/forks without asking. I have seen husbands finishing off wive's plate in France also.

When I come home to the U.S., I especially notice people demanding the waiter to split the meal -- that is on separate plates as separate servings. I think this approach would backfire in Italy.

We have often ordered a plate to share in an Italian restaurant, just say 'uno per due', but usually it's a main course after having had a plate each of pasta. I agree that the places that cater to tourists are less likely to be accommodating. When we do this, sometimes they bring an extra plate, sometimes it is split in the kitchen. And we always ask nicely. We are in Venice right now, with a small group, and the other night we ordered several plates of antipasti to share, not a problem at all.

Thank you all for your lovely responses. Going out to eat is already anxiety producing, but I will try all of your suggestions. If the worst is that they kick us out for asking, I will just take my business elsewhere. Although I will admit my heart will be a little broken.

We (wife and self, wife, self, and friends) share food all the time, in the US and abroad, but we do it by exchanging plates, not by shoveling food from one plate to another. Well, to be perfectly honest, a bite of fish might be swapped for a bite of veal via bread plates. We sometimes meet surprise, but no one has ever complained.

We mostly eat in bistros or their equivalent, not in formal restaurants where I probably would not do this, though it is really a compliment to the chef: every dish looks so good that one must try it if there is little chance one might pass this way again.

Many places in North America will split a portion in the kitchen, but there is often an up-charge for it. This is fair because it increases their costs by interrupting the flow on the line.

I wish you luck on your trip. I don't think I would anticipate trouble. You can always order an appetizer or eat in the kind of place where one scallop or two shrimp is a course!

Venice is the only place where we have been told we were not allowed to share. It was a pizza place and they told us when we tried to order 1 pizza for 2 people that it was not allowed.

What: >>Basically normal restaurants are ok, and restaurants living off tourists will not be happy.
So if you get kicked out, it is a blessing.<<

Totally agree.

jamiken: >>Venice is the only place where we have been told we were not allowed to share. <<

Likewise. Funny story: We were with our two teenage sons, who at that age ate like elephants. My wife and I weren't really hungry, so when stopped at the nearest outdoor restaurant, I told the waiter/owner in Italian that she and I were going to share a meal, and the boys were going to order separate ones. He wagged a finger at me and said "no sharing." I told him to screw off, in Italian, and we got up and sat at an adjoining outdoor restaurant that did allow sharing, and where the boys ran up a bill of about a million euros. I waved and smiled at the owner of the place we'd left.

Interestingly, we had been to several restaurants in Venice in last November.

In one restaurant, we shared a plate of cichetti (Venetian starters) with three persons, and in another restaurant we shared a dessert with three (they provided three spoons without asking).

However, each time, we ordered wine by the bottle and some other items.

The problem occurs when a couple occupies a table and orders just one course to share. This means, the bill will add to 15 Euros but the table is occupied for 90 minutes.

In Italy, it is usual to order several courses to get a full meal. A pasta or risotto dish is never considered a full meal - usually it does not contain a considerable amount of fish or meat or vegetables. A typical Italian meal will consist of

1) antipasti (starters,usually cold vegetables or small items of fish or meat)
2) pasta (just for the carbohydrates)
3) meat or fish
4) dessert

If you do not want to eat four courses, drop the pasta and the dessert. Pasta are often disappointing in Italy.

And always remember: "Spaghetti Bolognese is a dish that was invented outside of Italy."

I have a friend that always wants to split meals. Drives me crazy. I want my own dinner. Order an appetizer or find a place with tapas. My husband will often finish my dinner but I like ordering what I want not what someone else wants to share. Pizza, we always share unless it is tiny. But do remember a waiter in Paris acting like that was strange now that I think about it. It was big so no way could I have eaten that alone.

Well, you could try saying something like this:

"A causa della mia salute, non posso mangiare molto. Solo piccole porzioni per favore"

[because of my health I can't each much. just small portions please]

I suspect that waiters will be more sympathetic when they realise that you aren't just being mean.

I've never had this problem in any restaurant in italy and would tell any waiter to "bog-off". Or perhaps "Vai via". This may be an issue in a tourist restaurant, best avoided.

I also don't expect to trawl through 4 courses. I'll eat the one I want, yes I'll explain why, but whose business is it if I feed one person and just snack another.( I just verbed a noun, sorry I'm in bed ill).

What I do like is one dolce with two spoons, 'cause Mrs Bilbo loves dolce but can never eat them.

Pastas are disappointing in Italy?
Not when one orders appropriate to the region .

Pasta are often disappointing in Italy.
_____
What an odd statement. We must have had singular luck in our trips to Italy as the pastas have never been disappointing. And as noted above, we too always try to eat the regional specialties.

And considering I grew up in American Italian-Jewish neighborhood in NYC, the food was always southern Italian where there was a pasta course with the pasta. The biggest argument was it called sauce or gravy. We are familiar with home made, store made, imported dry and domestic dry pasta.