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"Russian Bride" romance tours - Heaven or Hell?

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Jul 1st, 2005, 11:13 AM
  #21
 
Join Date: May 2004
Posts: 172
I can't help but reply to this message - being a Russian woman married to an American man. I think Russian wives come in all flavors, so you'd have to do your homework and spend some time with the prospective bride.

I make a terrible wife by most standards (outsource most domestic tasks, have more opinions than anyone knows what to do with and implement them freely... I make a lovely drill sergeant, though ). But then I did not have to marry for the green card either, being a US citizen well before my husband convinced me to try the state of matrimony, despite my obvious lack of qualifications...

So do spend some time with the future bride - being Russian does not automatically make a "good wife". What is a good wife anyway?
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Jul 1st, 2005, 11:27 AM
  #22
 
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I think relationships started this way are probably very risky. But just as a single data point, a man at my former company met a Russian woman on the Internet. They corresponded for a long time, and ultimately arranged to meet in Paris. He then arranged for her to come to the US, they married, and have now been together for many years, and have several children.

- Larry
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Jul 1st, 2005, 12:19 PM
  #23
 
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"you only know her a few days or a couple of weeks before she agrees to marry you, then I don't think she's doing it for love."

Marrying for love is something that is a relatively recent social phenomenon. Our current divorce statistics would indicate that, as a mate selection method, it is vastly overrated.

Swandov200, your comments are disgustingly rude.
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Jul 7th, 2005, 02:43 PM
  #24
 
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I can only speak as to whether Russian brides make good wives. I've been married to mine for 13 wonderful years and have 3 incredible boys (1 came with her and was adopted by me after we married and 2 are biological). My wife is hard-working (she has earned her MSW since she came here and is very successful professionally), has excellent domestic skills (and especially is a great cook!) and always puts her family first. She is as devoted as a woman can possibly be to her family.

That being said, I am very familiar with the Russian community in our city, including Russians married to Russians and Russians married to Americans, and there are also bad Russian wives and average Russian wives, just like there are here in America.

The biggest difference, however, is that my wife wasn't seeking an American to bring her here. She had already emigrated to the US through proper legal process and had permanent resident status.

My advice would be to avoid being in a situation where most likely a woman is looking for a ticket in through whatever means are available to her. I don't think "Russian brides" you would meet on these tours love Americans as much as they would love living in America.

Steve
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Jul 7th, 2005, 05:14 PM
  #25
 
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In the 21st centruy women are widely considered to be human beings - rather than objects for purchase.

If you are having trouble fining a compatible woman in your own country - with shared culture and language - think how many times more difficult it will be to even communicate basics with someone operating in a different language and culture. And think how desperate a woman must be to marry a complete stranger in order to escape her own country.

And what exactly is a "good wife"? (This may be why you are having trouble trying to connect - looking for a "wife" rather than a woman to share your life with.)

Finally - I think the most telling line is that you want to meet "exotic, attractive" women. You can find plenty of those here. They're the ones in the trendy bars looking for handsome, sophisticated high-income boyfriends with Porsches and open wallets who'll take them to Fiji on vacation. (If you're not the latter what makes you think you'll end up with the former?)

Perhaps insread you should be looking for just a regular woman - sweet, pretty, kind, honest, hardworking and loving.
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Jul 8th, 2005, 03:19 AM
  #26
 
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this thread is disgusting on so many levels. carpe obviously has no interest in marrying for anything to do with love, he seems to just want a free whore. i do not think you are desparate or picky - just deviant.
i am appalled that so many are discussing this with you as if it is anything but foul and repugnant and appalling.
most sincerely, a small (or according to you tiny) minded american woman.
ps beyond thrillled that you will NOT appreciate my opinion!!!
fodors editors: since when is fodors interested in allowing discussions of this sort of thinly veiled prostitution
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Jul 23rd, 2005, 12:48 PM
  #27
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Join Date: Jun 2005
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Carpediemdsk Speaks (again):
Thank you (?) all for your responses. I didn't mean to set off a fire storm but couldn't help notice that no one had actually been on a "romance tour". I guess the majority of responses reconfirmed the very negative public perception about meeting foreign women.

I'm sadly not surprised at some of the hostile responses received referring to prostition, etc which I can't help but notice are primarily coming from women. Perhaps it is this conventional, closed mindedness, xenophobic mentality that has made some want to look beyond the US borders. What does it matter where or how you meet someone whether it's the internet, a bar, the girl next door, a double date, work or while traveling to a foreign country?

Yes, I agree one should keep their eyes wide open before marriage & half shut after marriage. And yes, I agree, it is a risky proposition on many fronts including the culture shock they will experience & the concern that they may be using you as a ticket to a better life. Points all worthy of careful consideration. But with the US divorce rate already at 50%, how much riskier can it be?


I do appreciate intelligent responses like Steve_P on 7/7/05 who is actually married to a Russian women although he met her after she emigrated which solves many of the inherent risks involved obviously.

After reading, thinking and investigating more on this idea for several weeks, I have concluded that I am still very much interested in meeting a woman from the (former) USSR (I'm impressed about what I've read about many of them being generally well educated, worldly, cultured, feminine, independant, strong, traditional values, romantics, etc.) I've come to a compromise on this idea. I'm not going on a romance tour but do hope to interact with & learn more about them. Ideally, perhaps I will eventually meet a Russian women who has already emigrated to the USA like Steve_P's situation. Being in the Chicago area with a fairly large recently emigrated Eastern European population, this seems like a more realistic and much less risky way to go. No different than local internet dating really.

If all else fails, perhaps Swansong2000 or Virginia could recommend a "harlot tour" for me. Ironic how I'm accused of being "small minded" about American women and yet they prove this exact point with their vehement attacks & insults about anyone who thinks differently than they do, a sad reflection of our culture. Aren't they calling the kettle black?
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Aug 13th, 2015, 05:07 PM
  #28
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 6,818
Carpediem...why spend your money to travel to Russia. The girl of your dreams probably lives three blocks from you. Cool it!


Heavens, my American-born mom married my Russian-born dad in 1925..married in 1927, had a baby boy in 1929...his six Russian-born sisters all married Americans, and all lived happily everafter. The last died at 104 last year.

I rest my case.
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Aug 13th, 2015, 05:09 PM
  #29
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
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tower: This is a ten year old thread . . .
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Aug 14th, 2015, 06:11 AM
  #30
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
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Janis...my bad! but I said my piece anyway. It's impossible to shut up a writer.
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