"Russian Bride" romance tours - Heaven or Hell?
Jun 30th, 2005, 04:42 PM
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"Russian Bride" romance tours - Heaven or Hell?
This will likely be controversial, but, I'm interested in getting objective, knowledgable advice on these "Russian bride"" tours. Has anyone been on one? Was it fun? Can you recommend a tour co. or what cities are best? Are the women sincere? Would the culture shock be too much for them to move to America? Do Russian women make good wives (subjective question-sorry). I know the American media/public thinks one must be "desperate" to go on one (my perception too until I read more). From what I read, it sounds like the adventure of a lifetime for a late 30's, never married male like myself (I'm picky, not desperate
, to meet some exotic, attractive females. At the very least, an interesting experience. Why not? (Frankly, my biggest concern is what small minded Americans friends/family will think.) Real (objective) advice is greatly appreciated, insults will not be Thanks!!
, to meet some exotic, attractive females. At the very least, an interesting experience. Why not? (Frankly, my biggest concern is what small minded Americans friends/family will think.) Real (objective) advice is greatly appreciated, insults will not be Thanks!!
Jun 30th, 2005, 05:17 PM
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"Do Russian women make good wives"
You might want to ask a Russian Husband.
From the amount of young pretty Russian Women that I have seen here in North Florida, I think they would really enjoy some of this culture shock.
I do have a problem with the idea of a man having to look in another country for a mail order bride, so I will let your small minded family have that pleasure..Are there no other travel Adventures that appeal to you other than looking for a wife in another country?
Whatever you do, stay safe and good luck~
You might want to ask a Russian Husband.
From the amount of young pretty Russian Women that I have seen here in North Florida, I think they would really enjoy some of this culture shock.
I do have a problem with the idea of a man having to look in another country for a mail order bride, so I will let your small minded family have that pleasure..Are there no other travel Adventures that appeal to you other than looking for a wife in another country?
Whatever you do, stay safe and good luck~
Jun 30th, 2005, 06:07 PM
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First of all, you are an adult so your reason for going to Russia should actually be no one's business but your own. Why do you have to tell everyone everything? Second, a few years ago I saw a program about this very type of trip on 20/20, or Dateline..one of those. It looked just ghastly as far as I was concerned. I would be a spinster forever if I had to do that. It looked like one of my 8th grade dances..very awkward, language problems, lots of people of both sexes looked incredibly embarrassed...anyway, NOT my cup of tea so to speak. I think there actually was a couple of people that DID connect believe it or not but whether the "happy couple" ever made it to be together, I can't recall if they said. Don't know why anyone would want to marry someone they can't talk to even ...well, hmmmmm, now that I THINK about it...
Jun 30th, 2005, 10:19 PM
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crefloors - I think I saw that program!
and the whole program was filled with moments where there were uncomfortable silences and I felt for both sides of the issue - the guy wants an 'old fashioned' wife and she wants a better life.
Realistically, In my IMHO if you can't connect to a woman in your own language why would you expect to connect with someone from another country who doesn't speak your language?
Whatever you decide to do, I don't think this is the right forum for you, but best wishes for your future.
and the whole program was filled with moments where there were uncomfortable silences and I felt for both sides of the issue - the guy wants an 'old fashioned' wife and she wants a better life.
Realistically, In my IMHO if you can't connect to a woman in your own language why would you expect to connect with someone from another country who doesn't speak your language?
Whatever you decide to do, I don't think this is the right forum for you, but best wishes for your future.
Jun 30th, 2005, 10:32 PM
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A man in our town went to Russia on a trip such as you describe. He came back with a "mail order" bride, although since he actually went to Russia I guess it was more of a "pickup" than a "delivery."
Anyway, by all accounts they are reasonably happy. Ours is a small town, though, and they do not mix or seem to have any sort of social life. My sympathies are entirely with the young woman in that regard, and it is widely believed that no one in the state of Georgia would date this person. Assume the marriage is a success, if one uses longevity as the measure, as they've been married five years at least.
From the outside looking in, I would say that this arrangement would work better for both parties if you live in a more cosmopolitan area, or if neither of you cares much for the society of others.
Anyway, by all accounts they are reasonably happy. Ours is a small town, though, and they do not mix or seem to have any sort of social life. My sympathies are entirely with the young woman in that regard, and it is widely believed that no one in the state of Georgia would date this person. Assume the marriage is a success, if one uses longevity as the measure, as they've been married five years at least.
From the outside looking in, I would say that this arrangement would work better for both parties if you live in a more cosmopolitan area, or if neither of you cares much for the society of others.
Jun 30th, 2005, 11:02 PM
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Well, "mail order" has the undeniable connotation of catalog shopping, but in this case the goods are inspected before they're shipped.
I am not as opposed to this as you may think. Considering the divorce rate in the U.S., this can't be too much worse than the boy-meets-girl method most of us use(d). If most men select their mates based mainly on physical characteristics (and most of them do), isn't it better to acknowledge that right off the bat?
I know a few Asian professionals who were born in the United States and have lived here all their lives, yet allowed their parents to arrange marriages for them. They seem as happy as the next couple.
I am not as opposed to this as you may think. Considering the divorce rate in the U.S., this can't be too much worse than the boy-meets-girl method most of us use(d). If most men select their mates based mainly on physical characteristics (and most of them do), isn't it better to acknowledge that right off the bat?
I know a few Asian professionals who were born in the United States and have lived here all their lives, yet allowed their parents to arrange marriages for them. They seem as happy as the next couple.
Jun 30th, 2005, 11:11 PM
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yes, I have asian friends in the Uk whose parents have arranged their marriages for them and they're happy - perhaps our parents know us better than we do?
Having said that I married at 18 and 23 years later we're still together - so who can predict the outcome?
Marriage is one of those wonderfully mystic things that no-one should gamble on the outcome
When it works - it works!
Having said that I married at 18 and 23 years later we're still together - so who can predict the outcome?
Marriage is one of those wonderfully mystic things that no-one should gamble on the outcome
When it works - it works!
Jul 1st, 2005, 01:31 AM
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Before you jump onto any tour like this, I would suggest you try to find a russian festival in your local city. You will most likely meet american men who have russian wives and are willing to discuss how they met. you can probably connect with men on the internet who have also done this and learn of their experiences.
in summary, meet some men before you try to meet the woman. and fodors is not the best place to get advice about this sort of thing.
in summary, meet some men before you try to meet the woman. and fodors is not the best place to get advice about this sort of thing.
Jul 1st, 2005, 02:19 AM
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Be sure to read the russian brides advice and cautions to seekers like you at http://www.tripadvisor.com/ShowTopic...al_Russia.html
If the URL address gets mangled, you can figure out how to rediscover it. It was quite similar to what I was going to warn, as someone who has traveled there and studied the language. And haven't you seen how these things have ended up on courtTV at times? Well, I guess we travelers are biased to see the glass half full when we encounter new things. But as travelers we don't extend the experiences very often to the point of learning it to be perhaps more truely half empty.
Well, in a nutshell, the trip may get you a more attractive match but this could be a temporary situation (not a crack against their older generation not aging well. Your advantage may turn to disadvantage in any disputes back at home, where tables turn on who has the most social and legal power (such as for wreaking financial havoc).
If the URL address gets mangled, you can figure out how to rediscover it. It was quite similar to what I was going to warn, as someone who has traveled there and studied the language. And haven't you seen how these things have ended up on courtTV at times? Well, I guess we travelers are biased to see the glass half full when we encounter new things. But as travelers we don't extend the experiences very often to the point of learning it to be perhaps more truely half empty.
Well, in a nutshell, the trip may get you a more attractive match but this could be a temporary situation (not a crack against their older generation not aging well
. Your advantage may turn to disadvantage in any disputes back at home, where tables turn on who has the most social and legal power (such as for wreaking financial havoc).
Jul 1st, 2005, 04:16 AM
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This is not meant as a direct insult to you, I'm just reporting what I saw.
I also saw the show that crefloors mentions. My impression from watching that show was that these incredibly attractive young women were going after these not-so-attractive men just so they could get a green card. These couples had only known each other a day or so when they agreed to marry, and they didn't even speak the same language. I thought the men were extremely naive to think these women were attracted to them and wanted anything more than a ticket to the US. In the follow-up story they did about a year later, all of the couples had seperated or divorced.
Keep in mind that these women are only seeking a better life and marrying an American might be the only way they'll ever have it. I don't know the guidelines, but I do know that they don't have to stay married to you forever in order to get residency status. I am telling you this to help, not to insult or judge. I hope you find what you are looking for, but I think you can find it in the US. At least then you don't have to worry about these issues.
I also saw the show that crefloors mentions. My impression from watching that show was that these incredibly attractive young women were going after these not-so-attractive men just so they could get a green card. These couples had only known each other a day or so when they agreed to marry, and they didn't even speak the same language. I thought the men were extremely naive to think these women were attracted to them and wanted anything more than a ticket to the US. In the follow-up story they did about a year later, all of the couples had seperated or divorced.
Keep in mind that these women are only seeking a better life and marrying an American might be the only way they'll ever have it. I don't know the guidelines, but I do know that they don't have to stay married to you forever in order to get residency status. I am telling you this to help, not to insult or judge. I hope you find what you are looking for, but I think you can find it in the US. At least then you don't have to worry about these issues.
Jul 1st, 2005, 04:58 AM
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Please let me re-state my position. I don't think that every Russian woman who marries an American man is only after a green card. I think if people take the time to get to know each other, the marriage could last. I am only suspicious of women who seek out men who go these on tours looking specifically for a Russian bride. If you meet someone on one of these tours, and you only know her a few days or a couple of weeks before she agrees to marry you, then I don't think she's doing it for love.
It takes 5 years to get citizenship, but it doesn't take that long to get a green card. I don't know if this is still true, but the requirement used to be that the marriage should last a year in order to sustain permanent residency. After that you can get a divorce and keep your green card. It's very possible this has changed in recent years. If anyone knows with certainty the answer to this question, it might be of interest to the OP.
It takes 5 years to get citizenship, but it doesn't take that long to get a green card. I don't know if this is still true, but the requirement used to be that the marriage should last a year in order to sustain permanent residency. After that you can get a divorce and keep your green card. It's very possible this has changed in recent years. If anyone knows with certainty the answer to this question, it might be of interest to the OP.
Jul 1st, 2005, 05:40 AM
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Carpediemdsk,
Might I suggest a tour of the harlots in your area? Those women might also be so desperate for a better life that they would be "good" to you, and it would also qualify as an adventure --
s
Might I suggest a tour of the harlots in your area? Those women might also be so desperate for a better life that they would be "good" to you, and it would also qualify as an adventure --
s
Jul 1st, 2005, 10:06 AM
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CarpeDiem, are you sure you want to marry a woman you met on a tour, this will be enough time to know her? Is this what you call "picky"?
But, if you decide... don't worry about her getting a Green Card, your marriage will last at least 5 years till she gets the citizenship. Before that, if you can prove the only purpose of the marriage for her was to obtain the Green Card, the marriage will be dissolved (not a divorce) and she'll be shipped off back.
Just go and have fun.
But, if you decide... don't worry about her getting a Green Card, your marriage will last at least 5 years till she gets the citizenship. Before that, if you can prove the only purpose of the marriage for her was to obtain the Green Card, the marriage will be dissolved (not a divorce) and she'll be shipped off back.
Just go and have fun.
