Fodor's Travel Talk Forums - Robert's Holiday Greetings

Here's a very old post. Please enjoy as long as it lasts.

to all the regulars, the irregulars, the lurkers, and the just-passing-through people, i
extend hearty greetings and best wishes for the season.

to all of you, i wish the following items for your future trips:

may you purchase your ticket on the best sale of the year, and get great departure times.
may you be able to use your frequent flyer miles to upgrade from your coach seat.

may your flight leave on time. may your seat companion be pleasant and practice good
hygiene, and may he/she/it be conversational when you want to talk and quiet when you
want to be left alone. may your flight be without turbulence, the food tasty, and the
movie a good one that you wanted to see instead of some reject.

may there be no screaming babies on your flight.

may your customs/passport officers be friendly and eager to pass you quickly.

may your currency exchanges be without commission and for a favorable rate, and also
that they do not give you too many large bills which are difficult to break.

may you always know where your passport, wallet, cash, credit cards, air ticket, rail pass,
camera, and sunglasses are located, not to mention your hotel . . . .

may the taxi driver you get be congenial and honest, may he point out local landmarks
and give historical perspective, as well as tell you funny anecdotes about other visitors.
and may he be pleased with the meager tip that you leave out of ignorance.

may your hotel be conveniently located, in easy walking distance of the historic sites and
local attractions, but not too close to a noisy street. may it have been recently
refurbished, but not enough to ruin its charm, nor so much that they feel the need to raise
their rates, may your room be airy and light, quiet, with toilet and tub/shower that is
large enough to fit a human being instead of a runway model and possess abundant hot
water. may the concierge have interesting places to recommend, wonderful restaurants to suggest, and tickets for shows and attractions that are complimentary.

may you find the historic sights and attractions, may the hours be long and the lines be
short. may you find the citation in the guidebook that explains the significance of the
painting or inscription and provide understanding of its importance.

may the restaurant be eager to have you without reservation, may your tabe be clean and
not near the kitchen door, may the menu be easy to understand and in english, may the
dishes be tasty and inexpensive, may the floor show be tasteful and not too noisy, and
may the service be included in the price of the meal.

may you find authentic native crafts inexpensively priced in stores owned by friendly
merchants who enjoy your trade but perceive your keen eye and wit, and therefore forget
about charging you the tourist price, but instead give you the price reserved for close
family members.

may you be free from thieves and pickpockets, since you are obviously too street savvy
and they fear your wrath.

may you always meet interesting companions on the road, members of the opposite sex
who are friendly and impressed with your knowledge of local customs, and celebrities
who are traveling incognito (but wish to spend some time with you since they are tired of
hollywood phonies and really wish to get to know real people, just like you.)

may you be able to pack your bags without resorting to having a sumo wrestler sit on
them, may they show up on the carousel at your home airport without having visited third
world nations for lengthy periods of time.

may your postcards get home before you do.

may you have sufficient film, so that you are not reduced to purchasing additional film
from a tourist store. may the battery in your camera last the whole trip.

may your friends all envy (in a nice sort of way, of course) the tales of your trip, and may
they be eager to view your slides and hear of your exploits. may you be able to
remember the things you saw, the places you visited, and be able to identify them when
you see the photographs and slides.

may you be able to retrieve your photos from the lab without having to mortgage your
home, since they have just started a special on processing and you came in on the right
day.

may you be able to unpack your bags, store all your belongings, and find your home in
good order. may you find that your house is still there, that burglars and vandals decided
to take a vacation that month and things are as you left them. may you find that your
neighbor had nothing to do, and decided to cut your grass for you. may you find that the
neighborhood kids did not use your yard for a baseball diamond or an excavation site.
may you find that you did remember to stop the mail and the newspaper, and that you did
take out the garbage before you left, that you did pay all the bills. may you find that you
also remembered to remove all milk and other perishable products from the refrigerator
before leaving home.

may you not suffer from jet lag, traveler's tummy, fallen arches, sore feet, back ache,
sleep disorders, or exotic diseases.

may all these things come to you, so that you can say that you had a good trip. and may
the next year's trip be even better.

enjoy.

robert