Rex Bickers
 

Rex,

Haven't seen you around for a while. How are you? Where are you? Hope you're doing well now.

Any Fodorites know how Rex is?

http://www.fodors.com/forums/threads...p;tid=35133392

He may not be doing well.

Rex, if you're reading, we do wish you well.

Didn't Rex have a big family trip to Sicily planned for this summer? I hope he is being kept busy with that.

Here's a fairly recent post:

http://www.fodors.com/forums/threads...p;tid=35144004

In responding to a post about the Chateau d'Artigny in the Loire valley (one of his favorites) Rex said that he's feeling well and that his lymphoma has been in clinical remission for 15 months but that he's been busy with other things including a planned trip to Sicily.

Rex, if you are reading this, two of my favorite fodorites who are friends in my real life have two different lynphomas and are doing VERY well. You can email me if you want to contact them. Those of us who are stricken or have a loved one, need all the support we can get.

Rex is back from Sicily and was going to write a trip report.

Oh my - - I am fine, unless you count a protracted problem of being generally too busy and working too much after our fantastic trip to Sicily.

Medically, I do have a heretofore-never-published case of spontaneous remission from Fodors addiction.

Others who have been in the grip of this forum have gone away - - some to eternal rest - - and we miss you, Ed, Art, Ben and others...

...while others may have planned travels which ended up in a parallel universe - - and they cannot find their way back to a keyboard (it would be nice to think that Elvira and the Loons are flourishing in another dimension).

I'll keep checking in here, but I don't know if I'll have another trip to Europe before 2011 or so.

But of course, if the notion of a repeat Fodorites' trip was looking for a leader... well, I'm not that hard to find.

Best wishes,

Rex

Rex, I'm curious as you have had up to two trips per year to Europe for a while now, I think? Why are you giving up Europe for three years? I'm glad to hear you are doing well.

No specific reasons - - more like a lot of little reasons...

1) during my most intense Europe travel period (13 trips in 1992-1998, I think; 11 in the ten years since), at least some of those trips were vaguely business-related. None since then. Might come again, but not expected on the near-term horizon.

2) We like scuba diving and snorkeling, at least for now (newly discovered hobby) - - so a whole bunch of destinations are on the "might-be-interested" list in the next 5 years or so - - unless/if/when they get to seem all too much the same. I do not anticipate that; NC ship wrecks vs. Belize barrier reef vs. any of several of the more southern Caribbean islands vs. south Pacific and/or back to Hawaii - - they all seem reasonably different... at least as different from one another as, say... Portugal is different from Spain.

3) I remain fairly hooked on the "big family trip" for as long as the interest and the ability to afford it remains; once every other year seems about right - - this was installment number 5 ("and a half"), having gone in 1998 (Europe); 2000 (Europe with six kids, but it omitted one of our own daughters... thus it's the half); 2003 (Europe; had to skip 2002 because daughter #2 had big surgery that summer), 2004 (California), 2006 (Virgin Islands), and this year. We have already initiated a discussion about 2010, and for the sake of variety, there is considerable interest in Arizona in the springtime. I'm not ruling out Europe in 2009, nor a mini-trip of some kind in (fall?) 2010. I guess it's just matter of money prioritization.

4) - - and a lesser reason - - I continue to really enjoy being the "trip pleanner/leader" for a group, even if only a small one. This year's Sicily trip scratched that itch as did last fall's "wine trip" (Piemonte and Bourgogne - - we played host to my wife's brother and his wife). And the truth is... nobody has asked me to take them anywhere in the upcoming year or two.

5) Last of all, these past five years have been somewhat a new experience for me - - actually spending (at least slightly) less than I am making. For most of my adult life, I never worried much about building net worth. I am discovering anew the pleasure of being able to spend x or y or z from money that is actually IN the bank now... rather than paying it off in the 6 or 12 months that followed a trip. Sometimes, I actually would prefer to take advantage of "impulse" deals that pop up here and there... but I schedule my work 6-8 weeks in advance, and I find that re-arranging my time - - to go and spend a few thousand for a five day trip (and in the process making a few thousand less in income)... well, inertia can take over, as you get a little older. Besides, I still have two weddings to pay for sometime in the future, and no likely guys in the picture to help me anticipate when that might occur. Having a little cushion in the bank might end up to be a relief, in case they should come in rapid succession!

More info than most people might give, I suppose... but maybe that has always been my style here.

I just wanted to say hello Rex and to say it is good to see your post as I too was wondering how you were. I always remember the very thoughtful care you gave to a Fodorite whose husband was hospitalized in Paris. The long distant phone calls you made to the hospital and all the good medical advice you gave her. Best regards and good wishes that you are able to take the trips you wish to take. May you and your family always be happy and in good health.

Rex Hello I just came across your posting from long ago about Orvinio. My wife is from there I first visited in 84 and It was a shock for me. Now all these years later we have a house, an apartment and an acre of land.We plan to retire there in 7 years. I am working on my Italian citizenship and language. To paraphrase REO speedwagen I finally found home. If you visit again in the summer look us up Andy Jensen and Stella Bryant.

Hey, Rex

I miss your posts.

Regards,

Bird

Rex, I'm glad to hear you are doing well. I remember several years ago you were going to visit family in Wellfleet. You would have driven past my office. I wanted to suggest that you could stop for a few minutes for a very brief mini GTG. I was rather new to Fodors and too shy to suggest it. I've always regretted it.

Hi Rex! Just wanted to say hello. ((F))

Thanks for all the kind hello's...

I still check in, at least once a week or so.

It's my son-in-law's parents that have a place in Wellfleet - - so we might get back there some summer. They seem to spend a few weeks there every July or August.

And what an intriguing idea to relocate permanently to Orvinio. I think I like my "modcons" too much, but I would definitely consider Rieti on a short list place of places worthy of "re-living" our very special moments there.

I remain quite firmly attached to the idea of a repeat Fodorite's trip (in 2009?) if there ever were a few willing souls prepared to give it some thought.

Portugal would be nice - - maybe?

What time of year for the 2009 trip?

Probably pretty open ended at this point; my favorite months have been May, June, Sept and October in the past.

Hi Rex!

So glad to hear from you! I didn't see this the first time you replied, so glad it came up again and that you are doing so well.

I would LOVE to do a Portugal trip, but the cost of living has nearly ended my traveling for the near future.

Right now, I looking into the possibility of home exchanges with some great success so far.

I have an exchange planned with a couple from NC. They will be my guests for a week of skiing and I will use their vacation home in the NC mountains for a week next fall.

Just agreed to a Thanksgiving exchange with a couple from Springdale, UT (just outside Zion) for the long weekend. It's such a nice time to visit there!

Did you do a Sicily trip report? That will definitely be my next Europe trip and I'd love to hear your details.


Buon viaggio Rex

Hi Rex, something off topics: wonder whether you might like to share the experience/ expertise about travelling with groups of semi-strangers?

While talking with one old classmate online, I happened to mention my dream of doing self-driving barge in France; by world of mounths and the magic of internet, it ended up there are more than 20 of old classmates (from 5 countries) ready to go with me next spring, all of them I have seen/talked for more than 30 years.

Among your trips with Fordorites/other groups, how did you coordinate or arrange things? Any guidelines I shall be aware of?

Thanks in advance.

Judy:

There is no 250-words-or-less answer to your various open-ended question(s).

I'll try to give a few example-type answers of why I think small group travel is great, and why it could pose a problem, in some situations.

I tend to see the glass as (perhaps way more than) half full, with regard to potential benefits versus risks.

1) Staying with friends. Some folks choose lodging strictly on location and price... they maintain "we just sleep there" - - and maybe they really do spend less than 2 hours a day of their waking hours in the place they have chosen to stay. I think it's a self-fulfilling prophesy. Choosing a place where you can enjoy the beginning of the day, or some portion of the mid-day, or the supper hour and after... with people you know and can relate to - - provides the opportunity to enjoy the "activities of daily living" (which DO have to occur, no matter what your style of traveling is) - - and you can make them as much, or as little "European style" as you wish.

So, for several (but not all) of my small group trips, it is been the fulfillment of a dream to be able to stay in some self-catering accommodations that would not have been within our reach if we were not a group. In Tuscany (Ambra, bear Bucine), in Garda (on Lake Garda) and in Montauroux (near Grasse, in the Var province of France), I have stayed in some LARGE villas with wonderful big kitchens, living rooms, a giant fireplace (one of them), swimming pools (two of them) and patios, gardens or other wonderful outdoor spaces to share privately amongst ourselves. These were with groups of 14, 7, and 16, respectively - - and I have always chosen places with abundant bedrooms and (mostly non-shared) bathrooms. The cost of these places were always shared equally (per person, not per bedroom), so that couples paid exactly double what singles paid, and the payment was always 100% upfront to me. This helps to form a cornerstone of the trip's expenses. if your travelers do not trust you on this, it signals that there will be other money problems galore.

One footnote: self-catering isn't always a requirement, even in a B&B, or other "managed" lodging, you can enjoy many of the same advantages (and a shorter stay) by simply taking the whole place up. Our (family) group of eight enjoyed three terrific nights in a 4-bedroom apartment in Palermo this year with a live-in owner (she had separate living quarters) and her staff of one who fixed us breakfast, provided some simple cleaning, and even did laundry on request (for a separate fee).

2) Transportation without a rigid schedule - - whether for day trips or moving from point A to B - - has almnost always been by car, though I have also used public transportations for some longer hauls without difficulty, even with the larger groups - - flight from Stansted to Milan Linate, train from San Remo to Nice, flight from montpellier to Paris, flight from Orly to Heathrow, flight from Strasbourg to Nice, train from Nice to Milan, and then onward to Venice, train from Verona to Rome).

I have been the "central banker" for the travel WITHIN Europe even on trains or planes - - but essentially never much more than advisor/facilitator on the trans-atlantic travel. With all the different originations you face, I don't see any reason for you to get in the middle of purchasing the travel to/from your initial/terminal destination(s).

With my wife and I as drivers, traveling by car (van) has meant 16 is the upper limit (two nine-passenger vans), though I have also had one or more travelers as drivers (or at least relief drivers - - these were family members).

The flexible schedule is the leading benefit here. Accommodating luggage is a modest benefit (there has to be some care taken that luggage quantity/size does not go overboard - - likewise purchases along the way); generally bags are carried in the front door from the curb and back out vice versa. (Recommend the over-the-head, up a flight of steps test to all of your travelers with their main bag). Some stuff can stay in the car overnight (maps, minor items). Bathroom stops, photo-op stops, snacktimes are a mixed blessing and curse. I see the glass as half-full. And these automobile costs are 100% shared, and mostly upfront (though it requires some estimation on fuel and tools, and final accounting).

As segue from the best part to the problems - - I'll address...

3) Mealtimes. Breakfast times can be great - - in your pajamas if you want, fruits that are as fresh as the moment you cut them for yourself, other items can be as artisan or as "back-home-familiar" as you choose to buy. Lunches are often a bargain (in house or "picnic"), but other times quite ad hoc, and frequently not eaten as a group. Dinner times are long sometimes, and sometimes burdensome - - are you the only person who really deciphers the menu well? You'll be reciting some things over and over - - and half the time (if you're like me), you have a general understanding, but not necessarily perfect (in fact, sometimes darn near flat-out wrong).

The single greatest risk/potential downside is...

4) the unexpected - - and illness (which will usually be mild) is at the top of the list of the kind of thing that can affect everyone. If I (on the Fodorite trip without my wife - - with six other people) or my wife had become too ill to lead, it would have been a huge problem. I have encountered assorted problems, always overcome, and this keeps me optimistic. On a recent trip (Burgundy/Piedmont) with just one other couple (wife's brother and SIL), I did become rather unpleasantly ill for 24 hours, and my wife took over seamlessly. I rode in the back, a little bit green around the gills. Other short-term illnesses resulted in someone missing a great dinner (pre-paid in at least one case), and you just move on. The greatest calamity I have faced so far was a death back home; the group of 16 included 4 siblings with spouses - - and a brother back home died. Five of the eight affected travelers decided to cut the trip short (day 9 of 15), and it required some fast thinking to get them to (a train connecting to) an airport - - (200 miles away, just to get the train). None of them had to pay extra to get standby flights back home (this was pre Sep 11 '01). There was no monetary adjustment for the balance of the trip; in retrospect there probably should have been to the couple who went home together - - but almost immediately after, that particular couple asked me to put together a different eight-some group trip for them, and I went on that with them. For what it's worth, no one had any travel insurance on that trip, and I don't think it would have really paid anyone anything anyhow - - as I am not a "trip operator" in any commercial sense.

The final caveat is...

5) compatibility - - which is the one that most people worry about the most. All I can say is that is has never been a giant problem. Has anyone ever thought that I was a pain in the ass? Probably. Did I ever snap at anybody? ummm... maybe once. Did the group ever castigate one individual as immature or high-maintenance - - maybe for a brief portion of the trip. If you tend to see life as a glass half-empty, then this could be a problem for your or your fellow travelers.

Bottom line - - I think that a barge trip could be a great small-group trip, as long as everyone understand what barge accommodations really mean. A glass half-full, in my opinion, but picky people could find the bed too small, or the loo unsatisfactory, or something else not to like.

I trust that you will make some effort for most of the travelers to have some awareness/familiarity with (most) everyone else going by e-mail, phone calls or even personal visits. Have them all read this posting!

I'd love to come along on your trip, but I don't think you need me, and the rationale for inviting me would be quite a stretch (if not downright weird).

Hope this helps - - Feel free to write or call, off-forum, or continue the Q&A here (we are supposed to be about sharing of info and opinions with the rest of the community, right?)

Rex, Many, Many thanks for such detailed, open and streight replies.

I had made some mistakes on the previous posts, it should be" I haven't seen or talked" for more than 30 years, althought we had all been in university together long time ago.

It would be so much nicer to have you in the group if feasible; but as it is only for classmates...

It would take time to digest all your replies, then, I am afraid I will really take up your generous offer to ask more questions.

Digest away... and continue the thread whenever you're ready...

Hi Rex. So nice to be able to catch up with you.

I was able to enjoy France in July and Portugal, for the second time, in June. I haven't been motivated to write a trip report on either. I can only attribute the problem to the lack of effort because I felt Europe this last year has gotten a little too pricey for us. And it spoiled my trips just a little.

I guess retirement and the failing dollar is catching up with me. The only thing that made the trip affordable was self catering.

Having been to Portugal twice, I would go back in a heartbeat. I would even consider it next year but having been twice, I would be afraid that it would spoil it for those who haven't been before as there are places I would see over and over again and others I would skip altogether on the next trip.

We did not spend nearly enough time in Northern Portugal. Also, anywhere on the coast would be perfect except the Algarve.

So keep us in mind.

Sherry