Question about couples traveling together
 

This is a serious question directed towards those who have traveled as 2 couples.

We are 2 compatible senior couples who have traveled together many times, but always had separate accommodation units. Now we are planning a 3 week trip and we hear about, and see on the net that getting 2 bedroom units is usually cheaper and comes with a separate living area. However, it means sometimes sharing a bathroom, and it may mean not getting the best arrangement, and means being in constant close contact.

My question is for those who have actually traveled as 2 couples sharing 2 bedroom units. How did it work out? Did you get on each other's nerves? Did the bathroom situation work out?

I will anticipate advice to see how it goes, to change if there are problems, it depends how compatible you are, everyone is different, etc.

But would you share your actual experience? Thank you. ((F))

Hi Jed,

It all depends on the couples.

4 people sharing an apt (especially with only 1 bathroom) requires a certain level of acceptance of other people's routines.

Try going to a motel with 2 dbl beds for a night and see if you can stand each other.

Yes, there is the very real potential for friction, both over the sharing of a single bathroom and being in constant contact. As you said, it all depends how compatible you are, everyone is different.

I was annoyed over a friend's wife who took forever to get ready in the morning and spent huge amounts of time in the bathroom, primping in front of the mirror. She always rushed to the bathroom first, saying she'd just be a few minutes, and we were left without an option of leaving and meeting up with them later.

Just the fact that you are concerned enough to surface the issue, might signal something. Three weeks can be a long time.

My main problem with this would be the additional time spent getting ready each morning with only one bathroom.

We wouldn't travel with another couple, anyway, but I'd think I'd want more privacy for at least a portion of the day, which would be difficult in the same apt.

~Liz

My biggest concern -- the bathroom. If you are used to a large or even two separate bathrooms at home, you know that it requires some give and take for two of you sharing a hotel bath. Now make that shared by four people and you're asking for trouble. Four people getting ready to travel in the morning each having to take a turn in the bathroom spells "late start" to me.
Another potential problem with that is that often you have to go through one bedroom to get to the bathroom -- not affording much privacy at night.

It would seem to me that the easy solution is to get a 2 bedroom, 2 bath unit.

My last trip to Europe was with my brother and sister-inlaw. I was torn..I was one, they were two. It would cost me almost 900.00 additional to go as a single. It was much cheaper to get the three of us in one room. Well, I finally opted for the single suppliment and in the end was so glad I did. We are very close, get along very well, have a lot of fun etc., but we were traveling for two weeks and there were some times when I was just so glad to be able to go to my own room and just have the calm and quiet. Also, not having to share a bathroom with two other people was a plus. In the end, I found it was well worth the additional expense.

I rarely ever use the following term, but in this case it is a NO BRAINER.

You are trying to save money, if that's the real driving force, on the WRONG THING. I don't care how "compatible" you are....I wouldn't ever want to be THAT "compatible" and neither would you.

Get real and get two bathrooms.

Dick - "It would seem to me that the easy solution is to get a 2 bedroom, 2 bath unit"

That is certainly pereferable, but unfortunately, I am finding that 2 BR units with 2 baths are not always available in some small towns where we plan to go.

One of the reasons that I am asking this question is that if the feedback is mostly negative, than we will avoid that situation, and get separate rooms where 2 baths are not available. The disadvantages, as mentioned above, are that they are usually more expensive and have less moving-around space.

I appreciate the opinions. ((R))

I would never want for 4 people to share 1 bathroom while traveling! Besides the obvious possible emergency situation, I can't imagine everyone getting ready each morning. Showering, shaving, hair, whatever... seems like it could take 'forever' to be on your way. I would find other ways to economize.

This is slightly different - but may provide perspective. My beau and I have traveled several times with my brother and sister in law. Now, obviously we know each other better than even most good friends do - and can have spats/disagreements without the same type of strain on a merely friendly relationship. Also, we know and can accomodate each others habits (my sis-in-law takes forever to primp and my brother packs for the D-day invasion,, while we're both fairly quick in the AM and lighter packers).

We have done the shared apartment thing only once - but it had 2 baths - one would have been completely insupportable., And it worked out fine. But we had already honed our traveling habits to be able to divide and conquor in different sub groups (separate couples or the men for golf and the women for sightseeing) and never have any hard feelings for the we'll do X today and meet you for dinner.

Also, we make sure to rent a car that all of us are comfrotable driving - so transport doesn;t impede our decisions.

So its doable - with planning and agreemnet on the rules - but never with one bath.

Jed,

How long are you planing on beng in each town? If you can stay at least a week (use it as a base) there should be places for you.

I just booked a place in Italy for next May with 2 baths.

BTW - I have the responsibility of finding the "right" places to stay in the nine (9!) cities/towns on our planned itinerary. I have spent many hours researching on the net. Sometimes the room descriptions online are not clear. Even when I email for more info, the responses are not always clear.

It ain't simple. ((C))

Actually, more than the cost, it is the increased moving-around, relaxing after dinner space that is so appealing.

Again, thanks for your experiences which will help me in my planning.

Jed
We have done this many times with good friends and adult children and this is what we found. We will ALWAYS have our own bathroom. The only time we don't is if we're driving and just want a place to crash for a few hours, then two will shower the night before and two the next morning.But this is rare and not fun. Many times we've had a suite with two baths and it works out great. Having my own bathroom is tops on my list of traveling with another couple. You won't be sorry.

Having our own bathroom is also a requirement for us. If we couldn't find some place to stay in a town with separate bed/bath, we'd go somewhere else! We also made sure we had our own car so that we did not have to feel locked in to doing everything together.

On our last trip to Tuscany with another couple, one day each couple went their own way for a while; another day, the girls went some place new while the boys returned to Florence for another look. Worked out perfectly!

Jed:

Interesting question. I have traveled extensively with two different couple friends - however a) I have known them for years, b) we might be a bit younger than a senior couple who probably value privacy and peace and quiet more than we might at our age.

First - some apartments we have stayed at - in caribbean, florida and barbados have actually had two bathrooms - one ensuite, the other just a toilet and shower stall...looking for such a place might offer you an additional bathroom which as well all know when you have to use the loo you really never want to wait in line.

Also we tended to pool our money for group necessities - food, liquor, cleaning products and toilet paper. If someone wanted something special that only they would enjoy that was on their separate tab - as in one of our friends had to have this unique and expensive carrot juice that no one else wanted so she paid for that separate while the steak, veggies breakfast foods were all paid for from the group contribution kitty.

If possible look for a place with a porch/deck - we tended to have separate time in the early evening before and after dinner when some folks wanted to read a book or chat before dinner and the multiple meeting spaces gave everyone privacy.

I think it's a matter of trying to find the right property but at least if at all possible try for a 1.5 bath if not 2.

I wouldn't do it. We travelled with my sister and brother-in-law in England and Wales for three weeks staying at self catering cottages and only had one bathroom. It didn't work right from the start. We spend a lot of time together at home, but one of the most intimate things to know about people is their bathroom habits. It's information you probably don't need - I know I certainly didn't.

We worked around it as best we could - even vacating the cottage at times when it was required, but I would never do it again.

Now whenever we travel with couples we always get two bathrooms. I think you'll have a nicer holiday and maintain healthier relationships with your friends/family if you do the same.

Have a great holiday.

My wife, her two sisters, her mother and father, and grandmother lived in a home with only one bathroom for years, and managed to get by (although my father-in-law sometimes took his car down to the filling station when it didn't really need gasoline), so I think with some planning this could be done, depending on the people. If some arise earlier than others, that could minimize the congestion.

I would look at just how much time of each day you spend in your lodgings. If you like to sit around your rooms in the evenings, or even during the day, that is one thing. If you plan on being on the go, with even your meals somewhere else, and only sleeping at your lodgings, that is something else and bathroom congestion may be something you can work around.

There was five of us in an apartment in London with one bathroom. While we got along just fine, the toilet had low water pressure, and you had to keep flushing, then the tank was slow to fill up, so that created a wait. Other than that, it wasn`t a problem, but I don`t think I`d do it again. We are all women, and none of us are primpers.

As far as who gets the better bedroom, you can take turns choosing first. Of course, sometimes the room that seems best is not actually best, but c'est la vie.

As far as the bathroom, I think that people have really different habits which may make it easy or, more likely, difficult.

We have traveled with one other couple that wake earlier than we do. The woman has her shower, is dressed, primped, and ready to go by the time we are up and about. She didn't mind waiting for us, so no bathroom conflict there. Her husband takes about 10 minutes total in the bathroom. Mine tends to take his showers at night, and I like to have mine at the end of the day before going out for dinner. So that worked pretty well.

We have done it with others as well, but 4 people is a lot for 1 bathroom, as everyone seems to agree. You should discuss the trade off of the bathroom hassle for the extra living space, and draw up some ground rules to preserve your friendship.