aliska

So, I have posted before about 17 yo youngest DD who is graduating HS in June 2009. She is severely ADHD, doesn't do transitions very well, grades aren't the best, but highly intelligent (much trouble focusing and concentrating). We have floated the idea of NOT starting college in Fall 2009, giving her another year in which to grow and mature.

Looking for gap year experience for 6-9 months where she can do some non-threating studying, an opportunity to be away from home (she refused to go away to camp, has only been away for 3-4 days at a time), learn how to operate on her own.

Some thoughts are spending a school year in Israel, volunteering in rural Appalachia, etc. Would like to do more than just have her work at minimum wage job. Any thoughts or recommendations? Thanks!

aliska

Sorry, thought I was on Fodor's Lounge, will re-post.

sheila

Do you guys not have gap year agencies, which have sprung up like weeds here in the last few years?

My niece spent 4 months teaching in North India between school and University.

The problem here in the UK can be visas, but I believe BUNAC can organise stuff round this.

She can almost certainly picka course and do a year's study here, and she'd be allowed to work up to 20 hours a week whilst she was here. Conservattion volunteering springs to mind.

bilboburgler

One of my relations with this problem does surf life saving in NZ. It gave her a focus and simple physical targets rather than intellectual ones. Has helped

travel_buzzing

She is 17 and you want her to operate on her own. What about letting her find some gap year suggestions that you can discuss?

suze

I also answered your thread in the Lounge. I would NOT send a person who has never traveled, hardly slept away from home, with no skills off on her own for a year!

Going to college would actually be a much better fit for an inexperienced/immature young person than sending them abroad on a traditional "gap year". That's a lot of what college is all about. The bridge between home to independent living, but where you are still somewhat structured and sheltered by your parents.

travel_buzzing

Suze-
I kind of disagree with that, I get the impression that you expect it to be dangerous.
Having a gap year before college is very beneficial for growing up and also realising what you want to do academically.
I think that 17 is still pretty young to decide what you want to do with your life, vocationally and just far too many teenagers are asked to make a very life-forming decision so young. I.e. deciding what to study in college.
Leading to simply dropping out, following a career path that you dont like etc.

Usually a gap year gives a person a more informed choice and also the motivation that they are choosing university studies of their own free will, giving them more focus for it.

Maybe it would be an idea to help her look for something that either is closer, within an easy flight from home or somewhere with relatives and or contacts so that she has the support if she needs it.

aliska

Thanks for the feedback, a couple of updates, things not previously mentioned:
* we are meeting in early November with DD and school guidance counselor who is working with us to identify potential gap year opportunities and to discuss what has been found to date
* didn't mention that we have a LOT of relatives already in Israel whom DD knows and several have kids in her age range, both in school and in military (compulsory military after high school for 2 years)
* also have lots of relatives in Belgium & UK whom she has met and knows fairly well
* looking into VISTA, Peace Corps, other US based programs as well
*this is DD's idea, she has voiced her concern over not being ready to attend college yet - she suggested Israel
* we are making her do the investigation of programs, as we believe it will be a MUCH better experience for her if she buys into whatever on her own
*Unfortuantely, she seems not to be able to focus & concentrate on one suggestion enough to dismiss or want to look further (duh! she has ADHD), so we are trying to help her identify possibilities

Sheila, have never hear of gap year agencies, do you have information you can send me?


Thanks for all your suggestions, please keep them coming

sheila

I ain't no expert, but I found heaps just by putting "Gap Year" into Google. I could find out which one my niece used if you like.

suze

I need to clarify... No I don't think it would be dangerous. I'm all for young people traveling independently when they are young! But you need to build up your travel 'chops' imo. I said what I did because this girl has barely slept away from home ever, & then to move overseas for 1 year is a pretty big first step (to say the least).

BUT from the additional information in the second post from Aliska, where we find out there are friends & relatives in some of these places, and more importantly that it's the daughter's own idea about Israel... I change my response to say it sounds like an OK idea.

Guenmai

www.afs.org Happy Travels!

Vicky

My cousin was ADHD but is now a brilliant anesthesiologist making mega bucks, with 3 kids and he is a great dad... so it can all end well for your DD.

socaltraveler

I would still advise that your daughter spend more than 3-4 days away from home sometime this year to see if this is something that will be comfortable for her. Perhaps a visit to relatives, something like that.

Bitter

I would recommend a couple of community college classes and a part time or full time job. IMHO nothing builds focus on, or emphasizes the value of, a college education like a cruddy minimum wage job.

Perhaps work in some travel during the breaks?

SusanSDG

I agree with the working part of the plan. My daughter took a gap year(much more common and big-business in UK or Australia, where I'm guessing Sheila is). Best decision ever! We couldn't afford for her to travel a lot, but she travelled a little and worked a lot. She is so much more mature in a year, and working a minimum wage job with people who have never left them really cemented her desire for a degree!

SusanSDG

Sorry, Sheila-just reread and see you're in the UK!

palette

A friend's ADD daughter spent her freshman year in a small college with an ADD program to help her concentrate on her studies. After that one year, she spent time working in an African village, and then moved on to a much larger state university. This seemed to work well for her - she got special assistance at the first college and then some personal growth time before she faced the chaos of a large school.