trvlgirlmq

I didn't post a TR for our 2 week trip to France this summer. It was in turn amazing and difficult. Part of the problems stemmed from rookie mistakes (forgetting to get money at the airport before getting on the toll highway, almost poisoning a child by purchasing fermented milk, inviting my dad to join us for the Paris portion). This last was not a rookie mistake but I keep forgetting that he is not a very nice person at times. He really made the week miserable with his complaining, yelling at the kids for being kids, and general "ugly american" behavior which appalled the rest of us.

I did learn that we have totally different ideas about how to travel. He wants to go from major sight to major sight, take a picture and move on. My mom and I want to linger, enjoy every little nuance, stop and just watch people. We grew to love our long, leisurely lunch with the kids. They enjoyed the time to sit and relax and always have dessert too! My dad got angry if we didn't eat quickly and get to the next thing. By the end of the week we were barely speaking. He completely ruined our surprise trip to Disneyland that was planned for the 2 younger kids.

We were all a bit deflated when we got home. I called my dad a couple days later and said I thought we should not travel together for a while. We just had different ways of doing things. I would be happy to set him up on a tour that would take care of all the things I always did like being tour guide and taking care of transportation when he decided to take another vacation. I was very sad that a trip a year in the planning had gone so wrong. We had planned a cruise for next summer but then I remembered my 10 year anniversary at work was coming up. That means bonus. Extra money. Plane tickets!

I broached the idea of a do-over. Just Paris as the week in Brittany (before Dad) was pretty great. Mom agrees, kids agree (so long as we go to Giverny this time). Called VIP and booked the same apartment, paid the deposit. WE ARE GOING TO PARIS!!!!! Decided to do 10 nights. We can hit the things we missed the first time, take all the time we want for lunch and people watching and running around the parks. The kids loved the park in Place des Vosges.

Now to watch airfare and hope for better weather!

latedaytraveler

Hi Trvlegirlmq, sorry that Dad cast a pall on your trip. Good for you to return and do your own thing! I am planning to return to Paris in late spring to "do" several of the smaller museums and interesting neighborhoods, including the Place des Vosges that you mentioned.

Happy travels...

Suki

10 nights in Paris sounds like heaven. Good for you.

Since you offered the background info, would you mind telling us how you managed to invite your mother but not your father? Seems like between the two of them, someone would have a problem with this. You must be very diplomatic!

trvlgirlmq

Suki,

My parents have been divorced for almost 20 years. After the first initial years of bitterness! they became friends again. Lots of shared history, kids and all that.

We have continued family vacations when we were all on the same schedule. He made our trip to London uncomfortable, made Hawaii not so beautiful. Then there seemed to be a change when he visited us for 2 weeks last December. He was kind to the kids and helped us clean up after dinner. Little things but you'd have to know him to get it. I still hadn't planned to invite him but my mom thought it would be different this time and so he was coming.

No change. I think he is getting worse as he gets older. I told my mom to remember the look on J's (8 years old) face when at the entrance to Disneyland Paris my dad yelled at me to "get my head out of my @$$" when we weren't in the exact spot we had said we would be waiting for him the next time she felt sorry for him that we were traveling and he was not.

Havne't told him I am taking J and C (7 yo) to WDW next week to make up for the horrible time they had. Probably won't even tell him we are going back to Paris until we leave. Certainly won't be telling him that we are booking a cruise for 2013 once DCL announces the new schedule.

Lots of hurt feelings on our end which he doesn't get. His loss that he is such a jerk and can't enjoy his grandkids. Grandma makes up for it!

trvlgirlmq

I should relate that my mother, one of my sisters and the 3 grandkids live in the same place but he is 2000 miles away.

denisea

You go...you can't help who you are related to but you can choose to let them ruin your vacations and your life. It couldn't have been easy to tell him you no longer wish to travel with him and I hope he doesn't try to "worm" his way back in (because he won't change). Your mom should know it will never be different!

So glad you get to do it over and you have the right idea to enjoy it all at a leisurely pace. I hope you have a wonderful time.

greg

Each of us seek different value in traveling. Some differences can coexist while other differences are too profound, as you found out, to make an enjoyable trip.

The differences exist beyond different age groups. You read from time to time in this forum about travel companions from the hell among supposedly good friends. Even among experienced travelers, we read endless arguments on number of days to stay, how to carry money, car or train, etc.

Given that there are differences between how one says one travels vs. how this person actually behaves while traveling, a safe strategy is to do a trial balloon by going on short and cheap overnight trips beforehand. Before the trip, many claim they are fine with anything and will do anything, but once the trip starts, they are anything but that.

Mirtesen

Yr kids may enjoy visiting the Cluny museum of the Middle Ages, with armours and stuff.
Also, the French "response" to Disneyland is Park Asterix. You have time to read up about Asterix and Obelix before your trip, and that amusement park is lots of fun, if a bit hard to get to.
Enjoy - and visit Paris for all of us...

Suki

That's very sad, trvlgirl, but, believe me, I know the type. I'm glad you, your Mom and the kids are getting do overs. It doesn't sound like your Dad will ever change.