Paris vacation alone-how to find friends
 

I spent one hour skimming over the last 300 threads on Fodors. Of course, there were a ton on Paris and France, but most were from people travelling in couples, families or (surprisingly a large number) groups of women. None related to solo travellers, and definitely not solo men.
So here I am, male, 35, single, travelling alone, first-timer in Paris for 6 days in end-November, on my way to a month in India, where my family lives. I'm Indian, been living in America for many years, speak fluent english, but no french. And I'm hoping I'll get suggestions here.

I'm artsy, so in Paris I'll be doing some museums, probably a couple of concerts, and if I can find a piano, practice on my music and learn to speak some french. But I would desperately need to socialize in the evenings and meet some other young people and fellow travellers. Not necessarily for romantic reasons. Just to talk, have a coffee together, and maybe even take a walk or a museum visit. What would be the best way to do that? Should I stay in a hostel? Which ones? Any particular restaurants or coffee shops? Bars are fine with me, but if they're too large, they're impersonal, and frankly intimidating.

Any suggestions would be most welcome. Merci. (that's one of the three words I know)

I would do it the same way my friends do it in the US (I've been happily married for 40 years, so this is from observing friends and colleagues). No particular order:

1. Friends of friends and family: who do your friends know in Paris?
There must be a substantial Indian community in Paris; do you have a relative who can introduce you?
2. Professional groups: does your professional society have a parallel society in France that sponsors lectures and events?
3. Hobby contacts: someone I know well is spending two weeks in the Netherlands being feted by people she met and has worked with on a web interest group
4. Church/temple connections: the American Church in Paris and the American Cathedral in Paris both have extensive social programs, language practice, etc available on their notice boards. Perhaps similar opportunities exist for your religion/cultural background. Check out the Indian embassy.
5. Tours: sign up for a local tour to reflect your interests -- from food to art to gardens to architecture to engineering -- and meet others with similar onterests. A suggestion to go on to dinner is natural.

Finally, when I have traveled without my wife (lots for business, rarely for pleasure) I have found that being alone in a strange place or society can be like a meditation, psychologically and spiritually productive.

I travel alone a lot and my advice would be to probably just lower your expectations some for a short vacation of a few days. I don't really expect to make friends on a vacation for a couple days in a place. Sometimes I may meet people accidentally and enjoy a conversation with them, and occasionally a little more (like meeting for dinner), but I don't count on it. The only thing I can suggest specifically on that point would be to go to a casual cafe where there are a lot of people who seem friendly and not just in couples, and maybe are very close together (the seats or tables). A place with lots of tourists would probably suit your purpose better, as locals aren't going to want to be making friends with a tourist traveling through town for a few days, even if they did speak French, which you don't. Also, other tourists would be more open to meeting people and talking about travels.

I play the piano, also, and know a couple practice rooms in Paris where you can rent pianos by the hour to practice, but it isn't going to be that easy for you as a tourist. Students are the ones who do that, you must reserve in advance, and they may be booked up or you might have trouble communicating with them on the phone. I really wouldn't bother if you are there for only a few days. There aren't many of them, of course, and it may not be that convenient to where you are staying or the hours they have available or are open. Besides, you are in Paris for only a few days, I wouldn't spend my time practicing piano. I never bother about practicing for that short a time period. If you are a professional, I can understand you don't want to go six days without practicing, but it's just not going to be that convenient or that feasible. Do you have your music with you to practice?

For what it's worth, the Hamm Music store in the Latin Qtr. has practice studios (called studios de repetition in French) at 17 and 21 rue Monge. They rent for 7,50 euro per hour, are open limited hours from around 10-7, and you have to make appointments. That is a pretty cheap rate, as they also have studios renting for more at the Cite Universitaire (Maison de Cambodge) but that's too complicated to get into, how you'd reserve them and where to go. The Hamm store on rue Monge would be more convenient.

I'd suggest just doing things related to music if you enjoy that rather than trying to find and schedule a place to practice. There are many concerts and recitals, as you know, and you could also go to the Music Museum, that's a real treat. You might just enjoy browsing in some music stores for sheet music, perhaps, at least if you like French repertoire, which can be a lot cheaper in Paris if there are copyrights. I like Librairie Musicale at 68 rue Reaumur 75003 (see http://www.paul-beuscher.com/ they have other locations, also, in Paris). La Flute de Pan on rue de Rome is also good http://www.laflutedepan.com/

I think if you want to learn French, you should try to learn a little before you go, not expect to learn a lot while you are there (maybe you can learn a few words, if that's what you mean). If you learn some before you go, at least you may have some pleasure in practicing or using it a little.

Maybe some other folks will have specific ideas of where you can go that might be good. I think a hostel may be a good idea, but probably wouldn't stress it that much as you are 35 and a lot of poeple in those in Paris are college-age kids or thereabout. But it might work, and maybe someone else can suggest something on that score. I don't know the best places to suggest.

oh, I did think of some suggestion -- you could take a walking tour, and maybe you'd meet some others on that. A company named Paris Walks is a good one that is in English, cheap, and you don't even need to reserve in advance. go to www.walks.com and then click on Paris on the left side near the bottom (it is rather hidden).

I agree with Ackislander on city tours. Lots of solo travelers use local tour companies for excursions and day trips. There are many companies on the internet that offer them. viator.com is a good place to check. At least you'll know that the people you meet will have some of the same interests that you have.

sorry, forgot to add that you can change forum to "solo traveler"

Take a look at www.classicwalksparis.com. They have bike and segway tours as well. At their office, you can use a computer and also download photos. I just noticed that they also offer a wine tasting.

CW

This online 'blogger' has a weekly 'club' meeting on Thursdays and welcomes everyone... read for details:
http://www.metropoleparis.com/aclub.html

and you could go to the Sunday dinner at Jim's in the 14th arr. near Denfert Rochereau:
http://www.jim-haynes.com/contact/index.php

There's another branch here on Fodor's specific to "Solo Traveler" with some great ideas about travelling solo.

I go alone often, but my desire is not necessary to meet up with people, I don't mind being along for a few days in a great city.

That said, if that IS your goal, you can simply try to talk to people - at your hostel or hotel, by joining a 1/2 day tour group or finding a class of interest. Ask a waiter in your age group where's a good place to go in the neighborhood.

Some of this may be somewhat limited though, since you don't speak French.

No - I wouldn't stay in a hostel - most guests will be younger (teens or early 20's). My suggestion would be to stay in a large hotel that provides free breakfast - and you'll meet lots of other tourists either at breakfast (sometimes they sit singles at the same table if you ask - or don't mind) and also in the lobby/library/sitting room. I would usually write some postcards and it was rare not to have someone strike up a conversation within a few minutes.

Another good way to meet like-minded tourists is on walking tours (the good ones, with in-depth info on a topic or area, which usually include a stop for a drink sometime during the tour). Or - to tie in with your music interest - on a tour of the opera house or similar.

I have done a fair amount of solo travel and along the way have me up with temporary companions in a rather random way but never actually set out to do so in any organized way. In a instances I have maintained contact but in most cases it was more of a pleasant shared activity. I am not a tour group kind of traveler, but the first time in a new city I do find it helpful to take a short (half day) orientation tour, and in doing so have met others also traveling solo with whom I shared some activities or meals. Museums are another place - especially when I notice someone who seems to be interested in a piece that also interests me or am noticed by them, with conversation ensuing. Your lack of French may be something of a limitation, but not horrendously so.
My guess is that in Paris you are more likely to strike up a casual acquaintance with other tourists, as Parisians tend to be friendly but a bit reserved. You might try looking for some affinity group around your music, or ask the staff at your hotel for suggestions about places where you might meet up with folks who share your interest.
At 35 you may be one of the older guests at a hostel. Perhaps a B&B?

Eating at the bar, or if a communal table is offered at a restaurant, is another possibility.

In my experience traveling solo it is often easier to strike up a conversation w/ a couple than with other singles.

Especially regarding your idea of meeting women, you have to understand that women your age traveling solo, may well be hesitant to chat with strangers.

One obvious solution that I don't think anyone has mentioned is, what about posting HERE in both the solo forum and here on the Europe forum for anyone else who will be in Paris at the same time? There are also a number of other travel websites with forums from tripadvisor.com to travelerstogo.com to bonjourparis.com where you might find others who will be there at the same time?

& www.lonelyplanet.com and go to the Thorn Tree forum.

wow!! thanks for all the replies. All in less than 24 hours.
I did visit the solo traveller forum, but seem to have more responses in this forum.
I didn't realize hostels catered to a much younger crowd. I know there are a ton of hotels in central Paris. Any suggestions on places to stay (hotels, B&B, etc.) for my age and interests. Price is definitely a criteria.

You're right - Solo branch has some great info and loads of general tips about traveling solo cataloged in the old posts, but doesn't get near as much traffic as Europe forum on a daily basis.

So what price do you want? People don't want to spend time making recommendations if they aren't anything you'd consider.

www.hotelmonge.com
is my hotel suggestion

Why not join all these things together. Book yourself onto a lnaguage course (they are normally only mornings) for a week or so. Some of the people you will meet have a similar issue they need to eat they need to visit museums so why not hang out together

You will find groups of "solos" down in the 6th at night...they may be younger ....but I really like the area around the university in the 5th where there are a lot of students.....the paris conservatory is way out...are there any more music schools in the center?

Bilboburglar - your idea of a short language course is fantastic. Do you know where I can find information on these??

I think the Paris conservatory is a great idea too. A music school, a piano room, a few walking tours - all sound interesting. And a great way to meet people. I would rather strike a conversation in an interest group, rather than just in a bar or coffee shop.

Christina - I'm looking for hotels in the 1, 4, 5, 6 arrondissements. Budget is from 40 euros to 70 euros for single room. Needs to be comfortable, no frills, relatively quiet, conducive to solo travellers like me.