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-   -   My husband spends too long at each tourist attraction (https://www.fodors.com/community/europe/my-husband-spends-too-long-at-each-tourist-attraction-859106/)

Dukey1 Sep 15th, 2010 06:33 AM

This is hysterical..I wonder if HE ever gets "bored" or "frustrated" when you drag him and the plastic into a store while you are shopping????

suze Sep 15th, 2010 07:10 AM

I have the solution. You plan one day and both of you follow your plans (without complaint). The next day he plans and you follow his plans (without complaint). That seems fair.

nona1 Sep 15th, 2010 09:02 AM

We are exactly the same but the other way round. Mr N has a very limited tolerance for museums and galleries, but I can spend hours and hours poring over the smallest details. He gets frustrated with too many visits - 'How many things do you want to count!' was his last little protest, so I guess he'd side with you on this.

We have to compromise. If you can't compromise, well, I don't know what you can do. Get divorced? (joke).

1) When we are on holidays we will quite often split up a bit. He likes lazing round the hotel, so I zip off early in the morning, get a couple of hourse culture fix, then come and meet him back at the hotel and we sort out the rest of the day. I enjoy my thing, he enjoys his thing (oooer missus), and then we both get a nice day together. Win-win.

2) He is expected to tolerate being dragged into yet another museum without moaning.

3) but I have to accept that I won't see everything I want, but something is better than nothing, and keep the visit to a reasonable length of 2-3 hours. If I bribe him with tea and nice cakes in the cafe he can go an extra hour. But I have to prioritise what I really want to see.

nona1 Sep 15th, 2010 09:04 AM

oh ok, it's a troll. Didn't spot it as it's quite a dull trolling subject, non? Trolls are meant to have fun.

cigalechanta Sep 15th, 2010 09:07 AM

justretired sometimes share their name (Larry and Marge)

suze Sep 15th, 2010 09:36 AM

I don't think the poster(s) is a troll. That's the scary part!! Who would bother to post over & over again all the negative experiences they have on every single trip they take? Who could make that stuff up?

nochblad Sep 15th, 2010 11:23 AM

Please please please - can we now stop commenting on the postings as he/she/it is hogging the forum.

colduphere Sep 15th, 2010 11:46 AM

Nochblad has posted the same plea on every WT1024 x 2 post. Okay we got the message.

Bokhara2 Sep 15th, 2010 04:50 PM

Very few people have identical sightseeing preferences, particularly for places like art galleries & museums.

It just makes good sense to split up during the day and meet in the evening and/or for lunch as well. That way, each person sees what he/she wants at their own pace, has a pleasant day & something interesting to share with the other over dinner.

Perhaps it's just me, but I honestly don't understand why adults can't do things on their own. I don't think it means you're not good travelling companions. On the contrary; considerate & intelligent people who know how to get the best out of a trip and allow your companion to do the same.

A positive mind set does help, though.

sandyatlanta Sep 15th, 2010 06:12 PM

Well, I love the idea of pulling the fire alarm - I will not forget it on the next visit to a military museum! Thanks for the idea.

Aduchamp1 Sep 15th, 2010 07:18 PM

Who gives if a flying someone is a troll or not. There were more honest responses than not. And, not speaking about this particular thread, but there are plenty of people who have no idea of which they speak and yet are not trolls.

shangrila Sep 16th, 2010 06:11 AM

Are you kidding... there are some times during a vacation that I cannot wait to ditch my DH. Love him dearly, but the photog can get to me at times, do we really need 22 shots of the same building? I take DD with me go see a few things and all is happy.
We set-up a meeting point and time, and off we go. No problems, no complaints, happy marriage.

susansothermail Sep 16th, 2010 01:04 PM

easiest possible solution: have breakfast together and talk about what each of you want to do. agree to meet for drinks in the late afternoon/early evening. the time in between -- you do what you like, he does what he likes.

since you haven't come up with this no-brainer together, i suspect there might be something else going on here, but i wouldn't dare guess what the issues might be.

re: your trip to italy -- go with a friend who likes to do the same stuff as you. simple.

Sue4 Sep 16th, 2010 03:22 PM

Funny reading this. When I was married (eons ago!) I couldn't have gotten my husband to a museum. He didn't want any vacation that didn't involve golf! I LOVE to travel solo, and do whatever I please, whenever I please. I like to dawdle in museums, too (but maybe not quite as long as the OP's husband). My recommendation is split travel for them. Her husband probably wasn't kidding when he said that.

CaliNurse Sep 16th, 2010 07:37 PM

Thank you to the OP and many responders, for this thread. It has given me lots more compassion for my daughter, who patiently waits while i read assorted museum display descriptions (which i forget soon after).

She went hunting for me at the Vatican Museum, fighting the crowds surging forward toward the Sistine Chapel, while she had to go backward in search of dear ol' Mom.

Seriously, OP, just meet Husbanc back at the hotel for dinner.

Spend your free time writing a rough draft of a trip report (maybe).

Aduchamp1, LOL!!!

Rasputin1 Sep 16th, 2010 08:24 PM

We fall somewhere between tod and auduchamp1. DH has little sense of direction, so I am navigator. He has to stick to me like a limpet or he would get lost. Only in crowds do I become the limpet as he is taller and can see over the crowds and is more likely to be able to push his way through. If staying several days in a place, we generally have a 1/2 day out of each other's company where we can pursue our own interests. I always make sure that he is armed with a map and that I have at least taken him on a route from our accommodation to where he generally wants to go, so he can find his way back. Only very occasionally do we visit different museums as inevitably there will be something that each finds to interest them even though the overall subject might seem dry or not for them. DH always takes a small book with him, so if I want to browse, he finds a seat and reads while waiting for me. On those occasions where he has not acted like a limpet and got lost, he has no option but to try to retrace his steps back to our accommodation and stay there until I return.

cigalechanta Sep 16th, 2010 08:32 PM

I love the flea markets. I'd sit my late husband at a nearby outdoor cafe where he could watch the passing "parade."

d_claude_bear Sep 17th, 2010 06:52 AM

Lots of good suggestions/anecdotes, but never underestimate the power of the leash:

d_claude_bear on Sep 13, 10 at 10:12am
Our dog spends a lot of time sniffing around each canine "tourist attraction." We find that a few strong tugs on his leash solves the problem, at least temporarily.

Have you tried that?

Nikki Sep 17th, 2010 06:55 AM

"On those occasions where he has not acted like a limpet and got lost, he has no option but to try to retrace his steps back to our accommodation and stay there until I return."

This is why God invented cell phones.

TravellingDiva Sep 18th, 2010 08:56 AM

I can TOTALLY relate! I would consider myself pretty "thorough", I do stop to look at everything, read most plaques & signs, and return to "favorites" to spend more time with them, but my husband takes forever on each and everything. I was especially frustrated this summer because I went with my husband and my kids - and considering how impatient I get with him you can only imagine how stir crazy they got while I tried to settle them down. We had these all-city passes that gave us access to many sites, but we could only do one or two a day so they were a waste and we missed many things we could have seen. He can't seem to comprehend the idea that time is limited on a vacation. I spent half my time sitting on benches waiting for him.


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