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Monday fun (we need it). Would you pass the 'British Citizenship' test?

Monday fun (we need it). Would you pass the 'British Citizenship' test?

Oct 31st, 2005, 07:32 AM
  #21  
 
Join Date: Oct 2003
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Well - I realized that technically the queen was still head of state - but are you telling me you have troops out there dying for that pack of twits.

At least the Constitution is an ideal to aim for (although sometimes I think we're going backwards in trying to get there). But I doubt you'd get more than 10/12 people willing to swear loyalty to Bush (see how much trouble he's having getting decent appointees) - although the rest of us would be happy to swear at him.
nytraveler is offline  
Oct 31st, 2005, 07:42 AM
  #22  
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Flanner, play nicely. You'll only whip our cousins into a frenzy.

Here's some inspired by postcards I saw in Eastbourne this weekend (don't ask).

1. You're fallen in a river and can't swim. You see someone walking past. Do you
(a) Shout HELP!
(b) Ask 'Excuse me Sir, would you mind, if it's no trouble, sorry to disturb you, if you could be so kind as to, no really that's fine.'

2. You've been served a dish in a restaurant which is cold and has a hair in it. Do you
(a) summon the waiter immediately, demand a replacement, a free dessert, a meeting with the manager and money off the bill
(b) wait for the waiter to ask how your meal is and politely point out the problem in the hope of a replacement meal
(c) wait for the waiter to ask how your meal is and respond politely 'lovely, thank you'
Kate is offline  
Oct 31st, 2005, 07:54 AM
  #23  
 
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What is undoubtedly the crowning glory of the British theatre?

A) A costumed Agatha Christie country-house mystery with a shifty vicar, french femme fatale, clueless young beau with a tennis racket, and in the end it turns out the maid did it as a crime of passion?

B) The Royal Shakespeare Company performing the entire, unabridged, War of the Roses plays starring stars of stage and screen?

c) A D-List male ex soap star dressed as an old woman playing opposite a young woman dressed as a boy, involving custard pies, men dressed as cows or horses and many shouts of “behind you”!
david_west is offline  
Oct 31st, 2005, 08:39 AM
  #24  
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Easy David. C, without a doubt. (oh no it's not, oh yes it is)
Kate is offline  
Oct 31st, 2005, 08:50 AM
  #25  
 
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I am sorry, this is all nonsense. The only question one needs to answer to positively identify oneself as worthy to be a citizen is:

"Give the names of the Trumpton firemen in the order they come down the pole"

Nobody other than a true Britain will be able to answer.
willit is offline  
Oct 31st, 2005, 09:02 AM
  #26  
 
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I got 7 right, cant complains considering that my illustrious ancestors are not British..
kismetchimera is offline  
Oct 31st, 2005, 09:10 AM
  #27  
 
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Pugh, Pugh, Barney McGrew, Cuthbert, Dibble and Grubb.
Do I pass?
MissPrism is offline  
Oct 31st, 2005, 09:16 AM
  #28  
 
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THis is one of the great pub-quiz perennials:

"Pugh, Pugh, barney, McGrew, Cuthbert, Dibble and Grubb."

Now there is one other fireman in trumpton. What's he called? That's the one that always gets 'em. He's the Ray Wilson of the Trumpton Fire Brigade (and only an englishman would get the Ray Wilson reference)
david_west is offline  
Oct 31st, 2005, 09:20 AM
  #29  
 
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I haven't thought about them for years!LOL!
Barbara is online now  
Oct 31st, 2005, 09:44 AM
  #30  
 
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Another for the Council, 6.
chatham is offline  
Oct 31st, 2005, 09:54 AM
  #31  
 
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N Ireland is in the UK and one of the questions is WRONG if you wish to live here!!

Guess which one?
cambe is offline  
Oct 31st, 2005, 10:02 AM
  #32  
 
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I heard you don't need to apply for citizenship if you know that:

The true national anthem is actually the theme tune from the archers.

You can correctly pronounce, Edinburgh, Bicester, and Mr Cholmondeley-Warner.

You are prepared to queue any time, any place and for something you are not entirely sure you want.
sarahkay is offline  
Oct 31st, 2005, 10:06 AM
  #33  
 
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8 ~ sigh. I have to drink more tea.
Scarlett is offline  
Oct 31st, 2005, 10:06 AM
  #34  
 
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Eight. I never felt that committing the order of saints' days to memory was high on my agenda. Hrumph.
Gardyloo is offline  
Oct 31st, 2005, 10:32 AM
  #35  
 
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Gardyloo, I just guessed that St Andrew's Day was the last. The others don't matter!
Barbara is online now  
Oct 31st, 2005, 10:40 AM
  #36  
 
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Kate, I love those postcards! I teach English at a university in Canada (born in England, been here 22 years) and I have some of them on my office door!

Tania
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Oct 31st, 2005, 10:41 AM
  #37  
 
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P.S. I meant to add - I got 9.
TaniaP is offline  
Oct 31st, 2005, 12:22 PM
  #38  
 
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Gosh, only 6, pretty pathetic!
BabsB is offline  
Oct 31st, 2005, 12:26 PM
  #39  
 
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sarahkay, the alternative emergency number is for use on mobiles.

Muck
Mucky is offline  
Oct 31st, 2005, 12:34 PM
  #40  
 
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I got 10; I got 2 wrong (honest). At least 2 have more than one correct answer.

I think the whole thing's a complete disgrace but life's too short to go into all this.

Come the revolution those right wing Islingtonites will be first against teh wall!
sheila is offline  

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