Mind Your Manners!
 

Do you think the people in your own community have better manners than the people you encounter on your trips.

When my British friends come to visit us in Southern California, they are always in awe at "how cheerful and polite" everyone is. I explained that it is because we have fab weather all year round, parking lots at the supermarkets and parking garages attached to our homes. Your thoughts...

Good question, Calamari.

My thought is that if we were always in unfamiliar surroundings, disoriented, excited and behind schedule we would behave like tourists.

Excellent point!

Qutote "When my British friends come to visit us in Southern California, they are always in awe at "how cheerful and polite" everyone is."

Hmmm, I've noticed this too and simply assumed that they were really stoned or just dimwitted, or both. After all, these are the same poeple who elected G. Davis as govenor.

"After all, these are the same poeple who elected G. Davis as govenor.'

Unfortunately for California voters, the Republican candidate last year (Mr. Simple Simon) was even worse. They were easily the two biggest losers to ever run for public office in one election. Of course, if the recall goes through, we'll have 123 idiots running for office. This is why my mai tai consumption rises dramatically during election years.
((H))

I live in a small city in Oregon. When strangers pass each other in the street, we almost always smile and say hi. We also exchange friendly greetings with clerks in stores. Relatives from the east coast always comment on how friendly everyone is here. I tend to behave this way when I go to other places as well, although I don't always get a positive--or any--response. I found people to be like this in California, also. Maybe it's all the mai tais they drink...

I think midwesterners are particularly friendly, too. And actually, I remember when i moved down to DC from NYC and was floored that someone actually helped wave us into a parking space in Georgetown. :)
But Calamari, the phrase that seems to put the biggest smile on my California co-workers' faces is "Valet Parking."

Dont forget the good Old South..I live in Texas now...People here are pretty friendly also, they smile when you pass by, which is great especially if you have a bad day.
There is nothing more comforting when you are down to have a stranger smiles at You....A smile a day keep the melancholy away...:):):)

Friendliness/Manners is one of my favorite topics, partly because I think I have an unsual perspective on it.

I grew up in Oklahoma and, while my hometown is a nice, medium-sized, college town, my parents grew up in a small Oklahoma town (pop. 1500) and retain many of their "small-town" ways. I mean, my dad is *constantly* waving and smiling at people (strangers, mind you) on the street, having conversations w/ people at the supermarket and the mall, etc. A task that should take him, say, an hour to accomplish, invariably ends up taking two because he spends so much of his time socializing with every Tom, Dick and Harry he comes across. Now, mind you, this is normal for Oklahoma. This is the culture here. People here (and I think, in the south in general) are just this way and they're lovely, sincere, down-to-earth folks who I am proud to call my neighbors.

However, when I was 18, I moved to New York City, where I ended up living for several years. Talk about one extreme to another! Those New Yorkers were tough nuts to crack! It was very different there and, eventually, I could spot a tourist from a mile away, many times because of how nice and polite they tended to be.

Interestingly enough, ALL of my friends in New York at one time or another have asked me a variation on the question, "Are all people from Oklahoma as friendly as you are?" The only other people in my circle whose "niceness" is/was commented on as much as mine was were the 6 or 7 Irish guys and gals in our group. Now those were some lovely, kind human beings!

Jennie :)

The people in the south are indeed polite and friendly--at least here in small town Alabama, and we attach great importance to teaching our children manners. After all, courtesy is just a matter of making life more pleasant and easier for others.

""Are all people from Oklahoma as friendly as you are?"

Jennie, I was in Norman about six years ago to watch my alma mater San Diego State get whacked by Oklahoma in football. Our group had the best time because the Oklahoma fans made us feel so at home. If you have to get beat on a road trip, that was the place for it.
((H))

Tom:

Hey, that's great! Norman is, indeed my home town. I'm glad you had a good time here. Us Sooners try to beat the hell out of everyone in a nice way! Ha-Ha!

Jennie :)

Yeah, Southern Californians are cheerful and polite until they get behind the wheel of a car then they become real jerks. I warn all visitors to So. Cal to be very careful at intersections because of the nasty habit drivers have here of running red lights.

Yes, there are a few CA drivers who treat red lights as "Floor It!!" instead of "stop". What's more upsetting is the larger number of drivers who treat stop signs as a mere suggestion. I'm seeing that more and more throughout the country-- but in CA, especially in the southern part, it's epidemic.

Most people in need know to be polite when requesting help. Therefore, by nature, tourists asking for directions or assistance of some sort are usually polite.

Conversely, interupt a busy person anywhere and you don't always get a polite response.

Still, there are too many complications to make assumptions about either the manners of tourists or locals.

Diablo
Ouch! Did you really have to drag Davis into this? Dude, what a buzz kill! We soon just may have Arnold Shwarteneger (sp?) for gov. and surely that will get this party started!

Maitaitom. You live in S.D.? You mix the drinks and I'll bring the Frutti de Mare pasta.

"Maitaitom. You live in S.D.? You mix the drinks and I'll bring the Frutti de Mare pasta."

Actually I live in the L.A. area, but many of my old college buddies still live in S.D. area. We're all avid Padre, Charger and Aztec fans (or as some people would say, masochists), so I come down to get my sports' fix.

As for mixing drinks, we are all San Diego State grads, so we are much more adept at bartending than most college educated people. Unfortunately, our education "might" have suffered.
((H))

I am one of the few true California natives, born and raised in L.A. - Malibu to be exact...until college.

Me too! Born and raised in LA but live in the high desert town of Ridgecrest now (and its HOT here!!). I get down to LA as often as I can for the great restaurants and to play Paddle Tennis on Venice Beach!
Shadow

I moved to NYC from Virginia after college. I found the people there very friendly--but very "to the point." Sometimes people from other parts of the world mistake that quickness for rudeness. When I moved back down to VA, I re-learned that when you call someone on the phone you have to chat a bit before getting down to biz. NY'ers seem confused when you say "Hi, how are you?" to open a business call! It's funny!

Talking about NY.
I always remenber the first time that I came to live in America..My hubby was in the Air Force and we were stationed at Stewart AFB, NY...
What a rude awakening it was for me!!...In all the American movies that I saw during my teen years, the people were so friendly and actually brought food to all the newcomers...There, we lived off the base in a small community, people did not even looked at you, even the older!!And I was only 20 years old... I could not believe it..Anyway I survived,I learned a new culture and a different ways of life..It made me Stronger and very Adaptable .I liked the countryside, especially during the fall when all the leaves changed colors. We stayed there for 4 years.My two older children were born at the Accademy Military of West Point.. Lovely place....
In defense of NewYorkers, I must also admit, that later on during my stay there, I have also met nice, caring, friendly people.

My daughter and three grandaughters (all Southern Californians) went to visit relatives in rural Iowa and then drove to Mt. Rushmore and back. They commented many times about the friendlieness of the of the people in the towns they had been in.((#))

I was shopping in San Diego the other day. It was really one of the hottest days I could remember. I was waiting for my kids to finish their music lessons when an elderly lady just started to talk to me. I stopped what I was doing to listen to her. She went on about the weather and how she just so needed to escape the heat. We chatted for a while longer and then it was time to go. She said to me,"thanks for listening". It struck me that unlike in Italy where they have so much respect for their elderly population, many people here tend to brush past them. I suddenly felt her loneliness. Not sure what this has to do with manners while traveling, but just wanted to share.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts with us Calamari..It is sad but true, America is a youth oriented society, I feel sorry for the elders that lives by themselves or are at a retirement home, without any family close by or if they do have one, sometimes they are forgotten...

Kismetchimera
It is really true. A while ago, I fell off of a 16 foot ladder and broke my back in three places. After my HMO kicked me out of the hospital, I was put in a convelesent home. Since I was unable to walk or sit up, I did not want to burden my husband and small children. I was the youngest person there for miles! All the residence kept asking me if I was their daughter and if I would take them home. They were all so lost and lonely. I am going to volunteeer at a home near my house when my kids go back to school at the end of the month.

ttt

I was walking down a street in La, my first visit and a guy straddled up to me and asked me to share a joint.
Here is Boston, It's "Do you have any...."

Some time ago there was a thread on the forum reporting a BBC study of tourist behavior by nationality. If I remember correctly, Germans, Japanese and Americans came out on top; the British were the rudest. I've tried to find the thread without success. Hope someone else may have better luck--or be better at searching.

Oh calamari!!What a terrible ordeal you went trhough!! How you kept your sanity in these days?
I believe it is great that you want to volunteer with the nursing home, I will like to do it, but i am afraid that I will became too attached to the these lonely people. This is why I ended up with 7 strays cats.....I see them, I keep them....:):)

To get back to the original topic.

We went to the Los Angeles County Museum of Art exhibition of the Pushkin exhibit followed by the museum's Mogdilani exhibit . I was pleased by the extreme courteousness of everyone.

It really added to the enjoyment of the art.0:):-B

Have lived in Phoenix, AZ for over 25 yrs and almost everyone is from somewhere else! Red light running - did we learn from CA? What do politicians have to do with the way WE behave with each other?? What happened to the Golden Rule.. Possibly I am a Pollyanna but I try and treat everyone the way I would like to be treated! We used to say at work that we could tell where our customers were from by their initial reactions to "May I help you?" - used to laugh and say East side of anywhere thought you were trying to rip them off!! Truly feel that places with more sunshine are happier!!

We are more fun to be around because the English tend to formalize everything and do it by the book. Some are still stuck in the Victorian or Edwardian eras.

But the have some great TV ideas. I love "Faking It" on BBCAmerica.

I've lived in Southern California for the last 15 years and am kind of surprised to hear that your British friends think we're 'polite'. Perhaps it's because I grew up in South Carolina, but people around here don't seem that courteous to me, especially on the road.

The smiles and sunshine STOP when we get behind the wheel. Road Rage is a major proublem here in So. Cal. It is amazing how one minute you can be engaged in a deliteful conversation with someone and 15 min. later you are invisable to them and they want to drive you off the road. Yes, you are correct.

Topping..

So many confuse politeness with gracious manners. You can be polite but have horrible manners!

calmari, I know your feelings, I did a year as a volunteer reading for the blind, and a few years ago I was hit and run on my bike.
My husband goes to nursing homes with a chorus group he sings with.