Fodor's Travel Talk Forums - Trip Report Maitai's Central (Don't Call It Eastern) European Excursion

DAY SIX – BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY, BEAR WITH ME, IS SHE ALIVE OR IS SHE MEMOREX, WHERE IS EVERYBODY, THE RESTAURANT AT THE BOTTOM OF THE WORLD AND THE WEDDING CRASHERS 

There was less than hour left for us in Prague, but that did not deter me from one last goal; two chocolate-filled croissants down the street. Fortified by those incredible treats and a double espresso, I was ready for the drive to Cesky Krumlov.

Pasquale met us at the apartment, gave Tracy and Mary a little parting gift (boxes of chocolates) and we took to the streets of Prague, heading out of town. Thankfully, there were no mishaps, and driving out of Prague was quite easy.

Lady G had been programmed, and she was on top of her game (except for the time she wanted me to make a sudden U-turn as I was barreling down the highway toward CK). I had toyed with the notion of stopping at one of the many castles that dot the landscape (Hrad Karlštejn, Konopiště, Orlik or Zvíkov), but decided that it would be best to get to CK and enjoy what had been touted as “one of Bohemia’s prettiest towns.” The castles would have to wait for another trip.

The Czech roads were great and, especially for a Southern Californian, the traffic was non-existent. In exactly two hours and twenty minutes we were driving over the bridge and parking in front of our home for the evening, the Hotel Konvice.

When I booked Hotel Konvice, the only space available was an apartment/suite with two bedrooms on the top floor. I had decided that since we would only be six days into the trip by the time we arrived, the four of us would still be on speaking terms, so I took a chance on it.

When we got up to the room, there was one large bedroom and one small bedroom. The larger room was appointed nicely and had a big bed with down comforters.

The smaller room contained two single beds. Kim and Mary volunteered to be Rob and Laura Petrie for the evening and sleep in the single beds.

Our balcony looked out onto the Krumlovský Zámek (Krumlov Castle). The bathroom was new and large, even by U.S. standards. It had a shower with a separate tub, and much to Tracy’s pleasure, fluffy towels. It would be our best bathroom of the trip, for what that is worth.

After depositing the luggage, we parked the car on the other side of town, but CK being a pretty small place, the walk back to the hotel was only about ten minutes. That walk confirmed what has been stated by so many; Cesky Krumlov is, to quote my friend Kim, “felony cute.”

The weather gods shone down upon us again this day, so we searched for a lunch spot outside and found a place by the name of U Dwau Marii. By coincidence (or perhaps fate), in English it translates to “At the Two Marys”!

“Wow, how about that Kim, now you have three Marys?” I said. I don’t believe he answered.

We sat at an outdoor table along the riverbank looking up at the castle. You could not draw up a better scenario than what we were experiencing…and it would just keep getting better.

Our waiter, decked out in peasant attire, explained some of the more interesting dishes on the menu, and we were about ready to embark on our first of what was to be two great Cesky Krumlov meals. Our lunch would be a feast that featured traditional, Bohemian cuisine that was popular during the middle ages. Since we are all middle aged, we felt this would be perfect.

Every dish was tasty from Kim’s trout to Mary and Tracy’s chicken with tarragon potatoes.

Since the beginning of our trip, we had marked down “Wow” dishes, and I was the lucky recipient this time. I ordered the “Old Bohemian Feast.” As I watched the ducks swimming on the river and people canoeing under beautiful, blue skies, I devoured roasted chicken with a millet and ham casserole. I really wanted to try the Žahour (sweet dumplings in a blueberry sauce), but my stomach said “no.”

We shed some of those calories on our walk up to the castle, which was turned over to the state in 1949. It was in beautiful condition, as were the four of us by now from all of our walking in Prague.

As we headed into the castle area, down in the moat surrounding it was a sight that might enthrall some, but to me, was a sad sight. There, on a very warm day, were Katrina, Maria and Kov, the castle brown bears, munching on some unidentifiable foodstuff. They have been there since 1986, which must be tough for them to bear.

The only method to tour the castle is with a guide (about $17 each), so we bought our tickets and wandered the grounds for a while before it started.

The tour lasts an hour, and, unfortunately, ours was lead by a young woman who came straight out of the movie “Invasion of The Body Snatchers.” There was no emotion as she stated the facts about the castle and warned us not to touch anything. She constantly reminded us that if we took pictures we would be turned into huge pods (ok, I made the last part up). Her voice never changed pitch for the entire hour.

In her defense, as it turned out, this was the only English she knew, because when someone asked her a question, she could only shrug her shoulders. Granted, she knows a lot more English than we know Czech, however I would think at a tourist sight like this, the castle could do a little better job in hiring.

As we walked through the castle, there were ominous signs for the future of Katrina, Maria and Kov. In many of the rooms, the floors were partially covered by bearskin rugs. I wanted to warn the three bears on the way out, but figured they didn’t understand English.

After the tour, Tracy said, “Hey, they have gardens here, too.” I had created a monster.

Tracy, Kim and Mary hiked up to the gardens, and after taking some photos for about ten minutes, I hiked up to meet them. They were nowhere to be found. Six days into the trip, and they were already trying to ditch me. It turned out they had just left the gardens by another exit, so the team was still intact.

I was the only fool to climb the 162 steps to the top of the tower (about $2). The last three flights were a little more precarious than I like, but I lived to tell the tale.

For the rest of the afternoon, we just walked around Cesky Krumlov. Had we had just a little more time, it would have been fun to canoe, raft or kayak on the river that weaves itself throughout CK.

Because of a post I had read on Fodor’s before we left, when we got to the main square I searched for a Chinese restaurant; not because I wanted to dine there, but because nearby was a set of stairs that I wanted to explore.

Sure enough, as I walked closer, there was the sign for Pivna KataKomby, and the door was ajar. I told Tracy that I would be right back and started to descend the dark, spiral staircase that lead to, well I didn’t know where I was headed.

At the bottom of the staircase there in front of me was another world. There was a beautiful bar with tables in one room and then I entered another room, and another, and another, all in a surreal, cave-like setting (the bears would have loved it). In the back, there was a large wood-burning pit where the restaurant’s grilled specialties are cooked.

As I neared the staircase to go back up, I heard a voice from above (no, not that one, it was Tracy). “Tom, are you ok?” she asked.

I told her I was more than ‘ok’ and that I had found the spot where I wanted to have dinner.

On the walk back to the hotel, we stopped by the Church of St. Vitus.

We decided on an early dinner, so Tracy and I made our way back to Pivni KataKomby a little before 7 p.m., with Kim and Mary joining us a short time later. We were seated next to the dumbwaiter, which for some might be vexing, but for us afforded the opportunity to get a closer glimpse of how a place like this functions.

Our two waitresses spoke no English, which just gave a more authentic feel to the restaurant. The grill was fired up in the back, and we were fired up to try some of the unique menu items.

Now, we are no foodies by any stretch, but as the evening progressed, we all realized we had stumbled upon something very special.

We shared an appetizer of crispy, fried bacon and onions that was delicious. It contained fried chunks of pork with white onions (al dente), seasoned with lots of black pepper. It was served with gherkins and salad.

I had ordered goulash soup, but it didn’t come, so it was on to the main courses, and every dish was plated so nicely that Kim took pictures of each culinary delight (you’ll have to wait for the blog to see them) before we started eating. As spectacular as they looked, they were even more terrific to consume.

I had the grilled skewer of chicken, pork and beef with fresh peppers and salad.

Mary had the specialty of the house, which was called a “Krumburger.” It was a huge hamburger patty that lay on a bed of fresh cole slaw. She also had a side dish of a baked potato with herbed crème fraîche.

Tracy ordered a pork tenderloin served “English-style.’ It came with asparagus, artichokes and peppers.

Kim’s grilled lemon chicken on a bed of arugula, peppers, tomato relish and grilled garlic bread was good, but his side dish, “gratin au potatoes,” garnered the evening’s “Wow” award.

These potatoes were absolutely amazing, and we all know because we all tried them. We figured there had to be about 50 thin layers of potatoes, with a touch of garlic and Parmesan cheese. It had a golden, crunchy top.

After we finished, I said, “Thank God they forgot the goulash soup. I can’t eat another thing.” As if on cue, our waitresses showed up with, you guessed it, my goulash soup. Being the consummate guest and a glutton for punishment (not to mention just a plain, old glutton), I ate all the soup and some of the rye bread, too.

All that food including five beers, one glass of red wine, two Campari, plus two bottles of 2005 Modry vino from Portugal (no driving tonight kids), came to 2,316 Kč., or about $150 plus tip.

As we ended our meal, two couples from Canada who were on a two-month holiday (and we thought we were slackers) stopped by the table and we chatted for quite some time. There was an easier exit than the way we had entered, which was fortunate due to our expanded waistlines.

When we wandered Horní Street (just doesn’t sound right, does it?), we heard a band blaring from the terrace of the Hotel Ruze. “Let’s check it out,” Mary said.

It seemed there was a wedding reception going on with free food and free booze for any interloper who stumbled in from out on the street. I looked at Kim. Kim looked at me, and we decided not to partake of the free goodies. Maturity does have its downside.

We could hear the band just as well from the bar located a short distance from the Ruze, so we made our way to the patio overlooking the river, and there were those friendly Canucks again.

As you could tell by our dinner choices, one more cocktail was more than enough for all in our group. Back at the hotel, we opened the door to our balcony and there was a stunning view of the Cesky Castle, a perfect ending to what was a perfectly great day.

But there would be no rest for this weary group of travelers. Tomorrow we would once again hit the roads of the Czech countryside that would lead us to Olomouc and an ever-so-slight confrontation between a rental car and an immovable object.

COMING UP: DAY SEVEN – THE ROAD LESS TRAVELED, WATCH OUT FOR THAT POLE (AND WE’RE NOT EVEN IN POLAND YET), FINDING MAGIC CREAM, KIM’S DEPARTURE IS CONFIRMED AND THE DINNER SHUT OUT

DAY SEVEN – THE ROAD LESS TRAVELED, WATCH OUT FOR THAT POLE (AND WE’RE NOT EVEN IN POLAND), FINDING MAGIC CREAM, KIM’S DEPARTURE IS CONFIRMED AND THE DINNER SHUT OUT 

Despite staying out late the night before and (perhaps) consuming one too many glasses of wine, I was up at exactly 6 a.m. I was trying to be quiet, but the floors were a tad creaky, which in turn made my wife a little cranky. “You’re going to wake up Kim and Mary,” she said.

As I made a few more fateful (and loud) steps she added, “Hey, I’ve got an idea. Why don’t you wait in the car?” I think she was being sarcastic.

Eventually everyone awoke, we had a nice breakfast at the hotel and started on the road to Olomouc, our next stop, which is roughly about half way between CK and Krakow. About an hour outside of Cesky Krumlov, Lady G put us on the “road less traveled.” It was a little, two-lane road that took us into scenic, green rolling farmland.

We then went through Dvorce, which I hoped wasn’t some kind of evil foreshadowing. Then came my first driving faux pas.

In one little town, I attempted to pass what I thought were some parked cars. In reality, they were a group of polite, local drivers who were trying to allow a semi truck (that was now directly in front of me) to pass going the other direction.

Chagrined, I backed up from where I had come. The other drivers were looking at me like Tracy did earlier in the morning at the hotel.

Soon, the farmland turned to lush forest, and as we made our way through many cute towns, we all had one thought, “Where the Hell are we?”

But Lady G was right on and soon we were back on a major thoroughfare and, in less than four hours from leaving CK, we were in the heart of Olomouc. I made a right hand turn, and in about 100 yards, Lady G said, “You have reached your destination on the right.”

“Show off,” I thought.

Of course, she was correct, because on our right was the Vítejte v Penzionu Na Hradě, our lodging in Olomouc. Kim and Mary went up to their room, and Tracy went up to ours. As I was about to follow her, the man behind the desk said I had to turn the car around because I was headed the wrong way on a one-way street. I then made a fateful decision.

I could have driven around a few blocks and come down the street the correct way, or I could make a few sharp little turns, and just back up the street and park the correct way in front of the hotel. Sadly, I choose Option Two.

I made two little turns perfectly, but as I backed up toward the hotel, the car suddenly stopped and not by its own volition.

Meat Loaf might think that “Two Out Of Three Ain’t Bad,” but when it comes to parking, that phrase doesn’t work out so well.

In trying to not run over any of the local Olomoucan population, I instead had backed directly into a pole. In hindsight (something I obviously did not have while parking), I should have waited for one of my troop to help me, but I had thought, “What harm can I do while just parking?”

Tracy came out and saw that I was a little perturbed, but she was still on a Lady G high. Her first words were, “Wow, that Garmin was amazing. She knew exactly where we were.”

I replied, “Yeah, it would be nice if she knew where stationary posts are located, too.” Tracy looked at the car and shook her head in disbelief.

In an attempt to make things go quicker, I said, “I am an idiot.” Kim and Mary were now at the car, and sadly no one refuted my words.

Fortunately the damage to the car was minimal. The damage to my ego was slightly more.

We wandered through the Horní náměstí (Upper Square) and saw the Sloup Nejsvětější Trojice (Holy Trinity Column), which is the tallest plague column in Europe, and also walked by a couple of the many Baroque fountains that are in Olomouc.

Before seeing any more Olomouc sights, we needed food, and found a covered patio next to the Miklice Church. Lunch at the Potrefená Husa, which turned out to be a chain, wasn’t spectacular, but we didn’t care, and, hey, the pivo was good.

We wandered over to the Astronomical Clock, but alas the only time its tiny characters do the crazy little dance is at noon, so we missed it. The original astronomical clock had been damaged by retreating Nazis and was rebuilt by the early 1950s.

It was very hot, and we were all a little tired, so we meandered our different ways for a while, ducked into a couple of churches and stopped by a pharmacy. In a Paris 2006 Christmas flashback, there on the counter was a big sign that said, “Magic Cream,” the ointment that helped save our vacation two years ago.

Well, the sign really said “Voltaren” and it was only 167 Kč, so we bought a couple of tubes in case disaster struck on the trip. Fortunately, we never had to use it. We then returned to our comfortably air-conditioned rooms.

The Na Hradě is a clean, modern and no-smoking lodging option that is in a great location (well, except for that damned pole). It has a garden terrace, with a view of a church and a beautiful ivy, covered wall. It also had, as were soon to discover, its very own wine cellar.

After a nap, we told Kim and Mary we would meet them in the cellar, and the girl at the front desk walked us outside the hotel.

You enter via a small doorway entrance, which I, of course, became momentarily stuck in as I nearly stumbled down the stairs. I assured the girl that I had not been drinking, and we were lead inside. It was a peaceful and cool (both in look and temperature) oasis.

The prices of the wines we consumed were in the 200 - 450 Kč range. Our hostess/desk girl had also brought us some cheese and salami to go with our vino. Tracy and I toasted that it had been 18 years ago to that very day that we had met each other (not bad for an idiot, huh?). Tracy wrote down the names of the two wines we drank, but in looking at them, I don’t think my computer has enough memory to spell them completely.

As we sipped the wines with the unpronounceable names, Kim gave us some bad news. In two days, while we would be in Krakow, he would have to fly back to Los Angeles for a meeting (this guy will do anything for frequent flyer miles).

He would miss the last two days in Krakow and an afternoon and evening in Vienna, but if everything (including all his airline connections) went perfectly, he would meet us at the Vienna airport in time to catch our flight to Dubrovnik. It was enough to make us buy another bottle of wine.

We wandered back by the Potrefena Husa, and although we could sit down at the patio, they had more than an hour wait to get food service. Well, we really don’t like eating at the same place twice anyway, and since we found out that this was a chain, we were glad we got shut out there.

Kim and Mary weren’t that hungry and were pretty tired, so they went back to the room, but the Bottomless Pit Family (aka Tom and Tracy) needed some dinner.

We found Viktoria, a place filled with hip, young locals, and now, us. I had a delicious strip sirloin with onions and lots of hot red peppers. The Campari was going down easy on this night, too.

In what I thought was an uncommon fit of indecency, Tracy then blurted out, “Those sure are mini balls.” I was about to get very angry until she told me she was referring to the mozzarella balls on her Caprese salad. If you decide to eat at this restaurant, I also highly recommend the roasted potatoes.

Our week in the Czech Republic was almost over, and we would definitely like to return one day to do some future exploring of the countryside and drink pivo in Prague.

We decided to turn in early so we could get an early start to Krakow since Kim only had a couple of days to see the city. Plus, there is only so much Campari you can drink in an evening.

COMING UP: DAY EIGHT – CRACOWDAYS, A SHOT OF COUGH SYRUP PLEASE, HERE COMES THE BRIDE, WHERE DID THE OLD PEOPLE GO AND HIP TO BE (AT THE) SQUARE