Loving spouses, but can't travel together?
Jan 8th, 2007, 10:15 PM
#101
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"I'm concerned anyway that this post is growing a bit too personal and tedious for many of you."
For sure...
When you were fanticing about an Italian lover...
Could not be more obvious that you not only cannot travel together, but are also not "loving"...
For sure...
When you were fanticing about an Italian lover...
Could not be more obvious that you not only cannot travel together, but are also not "loving"...
Jan 8th, 2007, 10:27 PM
#103
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SeaUrchin, Hi girl.
djkbooks, if this thread is starting to bore you or make you think too much about me and my Italian lover, why don't you just turn to "Shoes for Women in Rome," or "Where to Get a Good Haircut in Paris" There are many more interesting threads on this forum than mine. Enjoy.
djkbooks, if this thread is starting to bore you or make you think too much about me and my Italian lover, why don't you just turn to "Shoes for Women in Rome," or "Where to Get a Good Haircut in Paris" There are many more interesting threads on this forum than mine. Enjoy.
Jan 8th, 2007, 11:05 PM
#104
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jg,
I think this was a very timely topic. My parents have this exact problem; my father flatly refuses to travel, so the solution is for my mom to travel with us or with her friends. They've been married 42 years strong. When she travels he stays home with his beloved dog and has his own 'vacation' from regular routine. She comes back happy and full of stories to share and they both appreciate each other all the more. What could be wrong with that?
I'm fortunate in that my DH and I like the same sort of trips and because he likes to "laze around" on holiday I schedule 'rest' days alternating with 'activity' days. Everyone stays happy. That is, until something goes wrong with the plans, which I am always responsible for drawing up and always want to be absolutely perfect. I used to get all bent, but my mom and DH have taught me to look at it as they do: it's enough that we're all here together in this beautiful place; everything doesn't have to go exactly as planned. So not being in total control has gradually become less desirable and not the be-all-end-all of a "perfect" trip, though as the planner I do feel responsible for making sure they have a good time. The most relaxing trips I've ever taken were those that were mostly planned for me or there literally wasn't anything to do but eat and lie in the sunshine. There's hope for your DH!
Since I'm the art major/history buff and he can't tell the Tiber from his tibia I'm not sure how he'll take the upcoming Italy trip. But I know he'll love the food and if he can't stand to see yet another church he can people-watch with my mom (a favorite activity) or do what he wants on his own, and that's okay.
Women practically live in the Constantly-Considering-Others-Needs minset our whole lives. What a gift to be able to put it aside sometimes and only worry about what you might want!
The planned rondezvous in Italy sounds wonderful. Surely there are some aspects you can leave for him to determine and thus be the captain of? Phase it out gently...!
I think this was a very timely topic. My parents have this exact problem; my father flatly refuses to travel, so the solution is for my mom to travel with us or with her friends. They've been married 42 years strong. When she travels he stays home with his beloved dog and has his own 'vacation' from regular routine. She comes back happy and full of stories to share and they both appreciate each other all the more. What could be wrong with that?
I'm fortunate in that my DH and I like the same sort of trips and because he likes to "laze around" on holiday I schedule 'rest' days alternating with 'activity' days. Everyone stays happy. That is, until something goes wrong with the plans, which I am always responsible for drawing up and always want to be absolutely perfect. I used to get all bent, but my mom and DH have taught me to look at it as they do: it's enough that we're all here together in this beautiful place; everything doesn't have to go exactly as planned. So not being in total control has gradually become less desirable and not the be-all-end-all of a "perfect" trip, though as the planner I do feel responsible for making sure they have a good time. The most relaxing trips I've ever taken were those that were mostly planned for me or there literally wasn't anything to do but eat and lie in the sunshine. There's hope for your DH!
Since I'm the art major/history buff and he can't tell the Tiber from his tibia I'm not sure how he'll take the upcoming Italy trip. But I know he'll love the food and if he can't stand to see yet another church he can people-watch with my mom (a favorite activity) or do what he wants on his own, and that's okay.
Women practically live in the Constantly-Considering-Others-Needs minset our whole lives. What a gift to be able to put it aside sometimes and only worry about what you might want!
The planned rondezvous in Italy sounds wonderful. Surely there are some aspects you can leave for him to determine and thus be the captain of? Phase it out gently...!
Jan 9th, 2007, 07:28 AM
#107
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Cupid, I loved what you wrote..very insightful. As a Type-A Planner myself I can relate.
JG, you needed to talk, and you found like-minded people to talk to on this particular subject. Your first line on this post indicated what was to come. Don't worry about anyone that is taking up space on this thread for no other reason than to drop rude notes.
If they want real drama, they should check out the LOUNGE..holy ____!
JG, you needed to talk, and you found like-minded people to talk to on this particular subject. Your first line on this post indicated what was to come. Don't worry about anyone that is taking up space on this thread for no other reason than to drop rude notes.
If they want real drama, they should check out the LOUNGE..holy ____!
Jan 9th, 2007, 08:00 AM
#108
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"You have nothing to contribute, stop reading and get out."
jgarvey
Sorry if I struck a nerve, but you did post on a public forum and invite comments. You can't demand that all the inputs to be 100% supportive of your position.
Instead of ordering people to stay out of "your thread", suggest you ignore any inputs that you disagree with or push your hot buttons.
My contribution: I agree with your earlier statement that you are providing way too much personal information. I also think this thread has slowily taken on somewhat of a soap opera character. I won't be offended if someone disagrees with that assessment. Such is life.
jgarvey
Sorry if I struck a nerve, but you did post on a public forum and invite comments. You can't demand that all the inputs to be 100% supportive of your position.
Instead of ordering people to stay out of "your thread", suggest you ignore any inputs that you disagree with or push your hot buttons.
My contribution: I agree with your earlier statement that you are providing way too much personal information. I also think this thread has slowily taken on somewhat of a soap opera character. I won't be offended if someone disagrees with that assessment. Such is life.
Jan 9th, 2007, 08:13 AM
#109
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NS, My point is that you really aren't contributing any useful information to this thread, apparently just reading it all with some sort of perverse pleasure and not only insulting me but all of the other people who have found it beneficial. So, if it's bothering you all that much, I simply suggest the natural response--stop reading it and turn yourself toward some more intellectual pursuits. If there were no interest in this subject for many travelers, then it would not have taken off as it has. Obviously there is a need out there for people (especially women, it seems)to share their ideas and experiences about this aspect of travel. If it isn't your cup of tea, fine. Toss it out.
Jan 9th, 2007, 08:22 AM
#110
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Upon reflection, please let me apologize for being too strident and a bit accusatory in my posts.
I did not realize how important this thread was to you. I will not step in the way of a woman in need trying so hard to improve her situation in life.
Best of luck to you in forging a better, brighter future. May happiness follow you all the rest of your days.
I did not realize how important this thread was to you. I will not step in the way of a woman in need trying so hard to improve her situation in life.
Best of luck to you in forging a better, brighter future. May happiness follow you all the rest of your days.
Jan 9th, 2007, 09:10 AM
#111
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NS, thanks, now that is what I call being a really nice guy. Maybe you have just provided a nice title for this soap opera: "The Rest of My Days." I really do like the sound of that. From this point forward, I will just allow the other interested posters on this site respond to you.
BTW, now that you are going to have all of this extra time on your hands, you might want to check out the other threads I mentioned, maybe along with the ones about eating or not eating unpasteurized cheese, or old men flirting and pinching, or the sexiness of French women. Just have a good time, OK? It will make me feel better for "The Rest of My Day."
BTW, now that you are going to have all of this extra time on your hands, you might want to check out the other threads I mentioned, maybe along with the ones about eating or not eating unpasteurized cheese, or old men flirting and pinching, or the sexiness of French women. Just have a good time, OK? It will make me feel better for "The Rest of My Day."
Jan 17th, 2007, 02:02 PM
#112
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Just a quick note to let you all know that I am now on the boat with DH in the BVI. We are having a great time with family, and DH and I are enjoying being together after long separation. Of course, he is always happy and in a good mood when he is on his sailboat, so that spills over onto me. Nothing bad about that, I guess.
Another thanks to all who have participated in this engaging topic and leant their shared experiences, advice, and support. That really meant a lot to me. Thanks again.
Write soon if you have some more to share. I can receive and send messages from the boat, depending on the anchorage we are in. Today we had Pain Killers and a lovely time at White Bay Soggy Dollar Bar. Tonight we are anchored in Long Bay, having some rum punch, and getting ready to go out to dinner. Life is good.
Another thanks to all who have participated in this engaging topic and leant their shared experiences, advice, and support. That really meant a lot to me. Thanks again.
Write soon if you have some more to share. I can receive and send messages from the boat, depending on the anchorage we are in. Today we had Pain Killers and a lovely time at White Bay Soggy Dollar Bar. Tonight we are anchored in Long Bay, having some rum punch, and getting ready to go out to dinner. Life is good.
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