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nancy Mar 15th, 2002 04:30 AM

Long Anticipated Trip To Italy, One Year Update
I haven't been here as much as I used to since September 11.<BR>But, before that , you all were a three times daily addiction for me.<BR>And , gave me lots of advice<BR>(some , more flaming , than others)<BR>But, mostly great advice, and great support.<BR><BR>It was one year ago today, that I posted my cry for help, with my vLong Anticipated Trip To Italy in Trouble thread.<BR>You all rallied around me,<BR>gave me lots of great advice on not only our upcoming trip, but on the persoanl dilemna I was experiencing.<BR><BR>I want to thanks you all for the support and give you a small update.<BR><BR>

anon Mar 15th, 2002 04:35 AM

Glad to hear that you're okay.<BR><BR>Wistfully, in a way, I kinda wish your marriage is/was okay, too.<BR>

Paige Mar 15th, 2002 04:36 AM

Hey Nancy! I'm glad you got to go on the trip! When and where will the next one be?

nancy Mar 15th, 2002 04:45 AM

We are in the process, final part I hope of the divorce.<BR><BR>But to back track.<BR><BR>We did take our 3 week trip to Italy as a family.<BR>My husband stayed for 10 days, then returned home for business.<BR>My best friend flew over to Italy, and joined the children and I for the rest of the trip.<BR>We had a BLAST!<BR>and everyone loved the vacation.<BR><BR>My children never knew that there was a problem between their father and myself.<BR>and for those of you who suggested that all of this might ruin any desire on their parts to return to Europe /Italy, I am happy to say that is not the case.<BR><BR>My husband told the children he wanted to divorce me, and he moved out on our 16th anniversary.<BR><BR>that summer was hard, of course, on the children,.<BR>and somewhat on me too.<BR><BR>The months have gone by.<BR>I am not a stay -at -home mom anymore,<BR>but am working a part time job, and subbing in the local school when I can.<BR><BR>the children see their dad as much as possible, given that he still travels for business about 40 % of the year.<BR><BR>Financially , he is trying to screw me, taking anything he can,. and offering NOTHING in return.<BR>but, I have a good lawyer, and am hopeful.<BR><BR>The children are doing remarkably well, in the circumstances,<BR>as we parents, are keeping it as pleasant and non-adviserial as possible ion front of the children.<BR><BR>So, we will all survive.<BR>I wanted to return and to thank all of you who were there for me last yr with your wishes and suggestions, and support.<BR>It was a life-line to me.<BR><BR>And to keep this travel relatede,<BR>I am going back to Italy the end of May!!<BR>I will be traveling to Venice for 6 days with the woman friend who flew over to be with my children and me, last summer.<BR>Then she will be departing for Switzerland.<BR>I will continue my trip solo!<BR>and I will be taking a train to Naples,<BR>and then a ferry to Procida for 4 days!!!<BR>During those days, I will take daytrips to Ischia, Capri, and maybe go over to the mainland and spend a day in Naples.<BR>When I leave Procida,I will most likely stop back in formai, where we spent a week last yr,<BR>and visit some friends we made.<BR>then , it is up to rome for 3 nights!<BR>Can't go all the way to Italy, and NOT return to Rome!!!<BR><BR>So, life does go on.<BR>Not smoothly all the time.<BR>But, one yr ago todfay,<BR>I NEVER thought I would be writing this.<BR><BR>so, thanks and thanks and thanks to all. :-)<BR>BTW, there is a lovely man in my life.<BR>A funny circumstance.<BR>He was a man I lived with for 2 yrs.<BR>we broke up 23 yrs ago, as I was looking for "husband" material.<BR>Boy, was I blind back then!!<BR><BR><BR>

bobbie Mar 15th, 2002 05:01 AM

Nancy, glad to hear that things are *ok*, it has to be a very stressful time but it sounds like the children will come out of this situation strong, anyway your trip sounds fantastic and I hope that you have a wonderful time, esp the solo part, please report back after you return.

x Mar 15th, 2002 07:02 AM

Nancy, so glad to hear that life is moving on in a positive manner for you.

anon2 Mar 15th, 2002 10:33 AM

Glad to get an update.<BR>Was wondering how you were doing, and most importantly,<BR>if you were planning any return trips!<BR>Have fun,<BR>take care.

Mel Mar 15th, 2002 10:39 AM

Good for you, Nancy! I just love happy endings!

Tara Mar 15th, 2002 10:44 AM

Nancy, are you one of the over-fifties who is going to hit Italy? Now that you are single again? See the thread divorcee of a certain age.

kavey Mar 15th, 2002 11:23 AM

Nancy<BR>It's good to hear that you, and your children, have come through the turmoil so successfully and that that the travel urge is still strong.<BR>Warmest wishes for the next year, hope you go from strenth to strength and that Venice is wonderful. I am also going to Venice for 6 days in a couple of weeks time and I'll drop you an email to chat about it...<BR>Kavey

Audrey Mar 15th, 2002 11:56 AM

Nancy,<BR><BR>I have been wondering how you were doing and I'm glad you are ok. I am so jealous of you hopping around Italy by yourself! How's the Italian coming along? <BR><BR>Audrey

alwaysone Mar 15th, 2002 12:40 PM

I knew that was coming..just wondered how long it would take!! You go girl Nancy..I too am interested and glad to hear you're getting on with your life!

curious Mar 15th, 2002 12:41 PM

I'm wondering why you are coming here less because of Sept. 11th? That is a very interesting comment and I'd like to know why and if others that are AWOL feel the same? What does Sept. 11th have to do with visiting this site? And good luck to you by the way.

xxx Mar 15th, 2002 01:48 PM

Well, after Sept. 11, this board turned nasty. Truly horrible. Words fail me! It was horrific. I used to post here all the time under my real name -- now I visit maybe once every two weeks or so, and I almost never post, and always with this pseudonym, never with my name. It's just not worth it, in my opinion, anymore.

nyer Mar 15th, 2002 02:13 PM

Nancy -<BR>After 50 years of "marriage" my father sought a divorce from my mom. He's 75, she's 74. I live in NYC and my parents live in Florida ( were I grew up ). My father disowned me 10 years ago because I'm gay. My sister was killed by a drunk driver 15 years ago. To say the least it has been difficult. I will though give my mom tremendous credit for making the effort to change and adapt to her new circumstances. She goes over all the court papers with a magnifying glass and insists on being a active participant in the divorce process. I'm amazed at how well informed and on top of things she is - and all on her own volition. I see my mom beginning to lead her own life and I'm very happy for her. I think Shakespeare said it best: sweet are the fruits of adversity. Keep striving - not only for your children but for yourself. <BR><BR>Sorry to sign this "nyer" but some of the moral majority members here will probably slam me.....

nancy Mar 15th, 2002 03:25 PM

Tara-<BR>no, will only be 49.<BR>but, I intend to take full advantage of whatever comes my way<BR>(as long as I feel safe about it,)<BR>Have presertivi- will travel!!<BR>Audrey- thanks so much.<BR>I do indeed consider myself lucky to be doing part of my trip solo.<BR>I have never traveled for any extended period of time, on my own.<BR>and to me,I can not imagine anything more wonderful than 7-8 days to do what I want, when I want.<BR>Being married is great, when it works.<BR>And being a mom is one of the better things that has happened to me,<BR>But, I can think of no better way to <BR>Commemorate the fact that I have survivied this past yr,<BR>after the bomb my X2B dropped on me,<BR>than to spend some time<BR>alone in my favorite place.<BR>Plus, what an adventure!!!<BR>I will think of you while on my travels.<BR><BR>Kavey, I will definitely want to pick your brain.<BR>Esp., for good food, and maybe a little shopping, even though I am not a shopper by nature.<BR>Glass- Lace- yummy!!<BR><BR>Curious-<BR>I , alone with some others,found that the days and weeks post 9/11 brought Fodors to a new low as far as the tone of the site.<BR>I was a regular poster, checking in at least a few tinmes a day, for at least 18 months.<BR>I adored this site.<BR>But, I found things got so uncomfortable,<BR>I took a break,<BR>and found I did not miss it as much as I thought I would.<BR>I continue tyo be astounded by those few posters who just leap at the opportunity to be nasty over such trivial things.<BR>and as you can tell by the one mildly annoying response above,<BR>postys like this have come my way.<BR>But, also, now that I am not a stay-at-home mom anymore, and work outside my house,<BR>I have less time for the computer.<BR>and there are other places I like to spend my time.<BR>For me, and some others, Sept. 11 became a pivital turning point here.<BR><BR>NYER,<BR>Wow!<BR>It does not matter to me that you are "anon"<BR>I want to thank you though for posting anyway!<BR>What a story.<BR>I wish your mom the best, and that she has a few decades left to her of good health, and some happiness, in whatever form it shows up in.<BR>I am soooo sorry about your sisiter.<BR>That is truly a loss for you and your family.<BR><BR>But, the person who is losing the most is your dad.<BR>Esp. because of his behavior with you.<BR>I have always been a strong proponent for people to make personal choices over their personal lives.<BR>I am really proud that I live in Vermont, wherre we have a Civil Union law.<BR>Infact, in the last 18 months, over 49 civil unions were performed in my small town!!<BR>I am wishing you the very best in your life,<BR>and I will make sure that I have a good, strong , magnifying glass with me when going over all legal papers from my X2B.<BR><BR>Thanks all with your kind words and support!<BR>This is still a fun site.<BR><BR>and I will be sure to post any info on the islands of Procida, and Ischia, <BR>as therre is not alot here about them!!

xxxx Mar 15th, 2002 04:14 PM

Nyer, I have no idea who you are, but I am rooting for you. <BR><BR>Nancy, it does get better, although it sounds it already is.<BR><BR>Nobody goes thru life without hitting some low points. You can only hope to have a strong, good shoulder to cry on or to have somebody show you the same compassion you showed somebody else.

xxxxx Mar 15th, 2002 04:33 PM

Oh, I can hear the violins in the background.....

fay Mar 15th, 2002 04:39 PM feelings about this thread are being tugged upon by two sentiments:<BR><BR>WTMI (way too much information)<BR>&<BR>SSDD (same *stuff*, different day)

carolyn Mar 15th, 2002 05:56 PM

Nancy, I, too, have thought about you. It is good to know you are progressing and have a new trip planned. I love the expression "X2B." I have a friend who used to refer to her future ex-husband.

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